jibs4lv:
haba dats too arsh.

Truth ain't meant to be soothing

from my experience, i will adviseyou to stop the relationship because of your future.

My own take.. Thou personally I feel you are pussy wiped.. You stated you had your first sex with her.. So it is understandable that she is dragged you into an emotional level you've never been to.. Hence why you feel your virgin girlfriend is not.. Since you only express your feelings in words and not physical.. Marrying a single mother is a very serious issue.. Not talk of a mother of 2.. For the same man that come on and off.. Be guided my brother and at this point that woman is emotional imbalance and any serious brother that comes would do.. My advise is start up a family of your own, lay the proper foundation... Keep the married woman as a friend.. Help her kids in the best way you can.. #mybit

bodejohn:
We are in the days where deceit is celebrated and truth is scorned...

Imagine that the lady had aborted the pregnancies of those children, most of the folks talking above would have fallen head over heels with her...not knowing her past. But since she chose to live with the consequences of her actions...we jump to call her names...even though we might be worse than her.

OP, if your story is true, I pity that you came to NL to seek for opinions...you must be blaming yourself for that already.

My own opinion about single mums, I prefer a lady who is open with her past...a lady who chose to face the consequences of her actions than the one who had covered adultery and fornication with blue cold blood murder.

dude u nailed it spot on @op i think dis is d most open,matured and d best advice u can get anywer...around.but remember what ever decision u choose to take,be ready to accept responsibility for it.

OP should I bath with HOT oil during harmattan ?

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

Nah so e dey always be, when one get one woman, but go hunting for another, confusion always sets in.......

If you are happy and financially able to cater for her kids, as if they are yours, no problems.
But if you both have 3 kids togeda, una pickin count don reach 5 b dat...........

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

There are two places where a man's heart lies: where his p3nis enters and where his delicacies comes from. This mother of 2 knows that, and she is ready to give the inexpirince you those comfort.

On the other hand, the other virgin will still be doing shakara with her body, and u cant realy beg and pamper her to open up for u becos u already have free and unrestricted access to paradise.

Fast forward ==>>

The mother of two may and may not be a good girl, dont judge by what she does now. She may eventually turn out to be a wonderful wife, but remeber, to every divorce, one party still wants the other, and the other party doesnt wanna come back. In the near future, something somewhere somehow can still bring the duos back together. Will u be able to fight for the restoration of your home?
She has two kids, how many childrn do u wanna have? Say three. Can u father five children?

bodejohn:
We are in the days where deceit is celebrated and truth is scorned...

Imagine that the lady had aborted the pregnancies of those children, most of the folks talking above would have fallen head over heels with her...not knowing her past. But since she chose to live with the consequences of her actions...we jump to call her names...even though we might be worse than her.

OP, if your story is true, I pity that you came to NL to seek for opinions...you must be blaming yourself for that already.

My own opinion about single mums, I prefer a lady who is open with her past...a lady who chose to face the consequences of her actions than the one who had covered adultery and fornication with blue cold blood murder.

It's not about having an abortion or not. That woman doesn't love the op. She still feels something strong for the first guy that's why she got pregnant for him twice. He's just second fiddle.

follow ur heart

dear pray about it OK there is nothing wrong if u both luv each oda

nice advise bro weldon.

SmartBug:
Well OP, Better think with your head.

Do you have a good Job?

How long have you know her?

Are you ready to take care of those two kids?

Remember, these are not your children. But by the time you make her your wife, those kids becomes yours. With that, when you popped out your own kids, you now have a crowd. Are you financially equip to handle that?

Sure, right now, the idea of marriage is melody to your ears but in the long run when you settle down, you might end up regretting.

Emhicee:
Don't worry. Marry her you hear? Good boy. Just that that guy will come back and beg again and he's put his thirdd child in her. Or better still if you impregnate her, he'd help you top it so the child looks like you from the waist up and him, fom the waist down. Yeye boy. Asking for opinion at 30.

;DD. You funny o. Child looks like him from waist ;DD. Well, to me if he is sincere, he needs not ask

Bros I read through all your story. I am not going to say anything about anyone committed sin here or not, but what I will say is that the lady is loosed for her to have being messed up like that either by one man or the other.

Who tell you when you marry her she will not go out or be messed up by another guy elsewhere.

With two kids, humm you may surfer from heart attack you may not recover from the rest of your life. Taking responsibility, coping with taking care or nurturing another children from another father, even the father of those children may still directly or indirectly come to disturb you. Don't be deceived because you are seeing her in church, am a deacon in rccg, I will tell you reality, love is not sympathy pls, forget she has two children, let her go and sought her self back with former man.

I beg run for your life, and give your life to Christ, the lady is not but come to disguised in church just to get innocent and responsible man.

Let assumed she gave birth the children to one man, and the man dies and she is properly married we will say is better and if she does not sleep with another man like you, because illegally having s*x with her. Pls stop and confess to your pastor and move on with your life, look for another lady or your ex- girl friend with prayer and fasting, but above love is the koko o bros, you must love the person you want to marry o.

To talk of it, your parent will never allow this despite the fact that I don't know your parent, but I presumed your parent are from southwest, humm pls run for your life.

Your parent may never agreed with you.

Olugere@gmail.com

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

I know this kind of feeling, when you think you have got it. I can't let it go, bro give it time with prayers, starting with repentance from fornication and accept Jesus as Lord and saviour. Then pray, God will guide you will be happy. sometimes love becloud our reasoning.

Left to me, it's a no-no...With a kid, maybe, but two? Hell no!!!

I wouldn't advice u to go for it or not, after all it is ur life.

But know something, marriage is not about pity or sentiment, it's a lifelong decision, and u don't want to start on a wrong foot. It's obvious she's seen it all in relationships, and she has more experience than u, so u need to be smart about this.

Forget about the s3x she has exposed u to, and think deep about other aspects of her life. The fact that she's an HOD in d church doesn't follow, she might just be doing all she's doing to win sympathy and trick unsuspecting men in the church to help her in catering 4 her kids. We've heard d stories of ladies who had a very rough n unholy past ending up in d church for marriage. U sure can change a wolf's coat but not its character.

Before taking this life changing decision, ask urself these questions


1. Are u even sure her story about her baby daddy is true?

2. Will u still want to be with her in the next 10-15 years?

3. Is she really the best for u?

4. Can u cater for her, her kids, d 2 or more kids u will have with her (to University level), and her dependent folks if there is any?

5. If truly she has learn't her lesson with her baby daddy, why is she still having ceaseless rounds of s3x with u, or have u promised her marriage?

6. Are u sure u are d only one she's seeing?

7. Will her baby daddy always have his way into her pants whenever he shows up?

8. Can u handle d pressure that will follow once u announce ur intent?


There are so many questions u need to ask urself bro.

Just note: women can be very deceptive before marriage (no offense), only to show their true colours after wedding.

However, if u have made up ur mind to marry her after asking yourself these questions, get to know d kind of family she is from, learn about her past 4rm her friends and maybe neighbours if need be.

Best of luck bro.

In my language we say "having children before is not sickness".

I think marrying her is good, but pray over it.

As a single mother she also deserve another chance.

Well, I know very well that deep down your heart, you already know what you want, so go ahead and do what your comfortable with. Thanks

watch how some mumu ladies here now go be like.."A REAL MAN IS A MAN WHO MARRIES A SINGLE MOTHER" ..ode full nairaland including Op

Why didn't you ask Nairalanders before intimating with her.
After that you now realised that she is asingle mum.

Please if I may ask:
During your intimacy, was it sounding and testing "single mum, single mum" or "my family will agitate"?

Just asking in orther to comprehend well.

destinel:



lool, you are wrong my dear....nd even if dat is my church, U are very wrong to have broadcasted it here cos i know
u might be a member there. Implicating the whole church and yourself. Be guided please!!

Y u dey lie lyk dis eh? the church quoted by d nigga na ur church! dont force me to put up ur pix!
@d topic, women r not what u think that they r. their real self will be known to u when u eventually marry them. if u r ok wit her, go ahead & marry.

Destinel, pls don't listen to these childish brains on here. U should have posted this in the family section, where U would have gotten mature replies.
Romance section is just full of senseless kids, ignore their lacerative comments.
To the topic, if truly she possesses all those traits U wrote up there, then, she might make a good wife from the way I see it. Though the sex part gave bad impressions on many on here, myself inclusive.
Bro, no one can advice U enough on here, just follow Ur heart. I believe U are mature enough to see, in Her, what will make married life with a single mother, a non regrettable decision.
Virtually all women have had many dirty pasts, but that of this woman is not dirty, but mistaken. All blames on the Man that used and dumped Her.
In conclusion, go ahead and marry Her if U are sure U are taking the right step.
*it's the one who wears the shoe that knows where it bites*
XO

Prettythicksmi:
Two kids already?op use ur fuvking brain,u dont need any advice.

So she should remain husbandless for life or she ain't worthy of love again or WHAT Tick-tock mouth?!!!!

With the exception of widows,most single mothers always have issues and clings on their baby daddies,so i will not advise sane young man,except divorcee or widower,to marry single mother.Forget all these epistles,there is always regrets at the end.

First of all, I can see that you really are very ignorant and very childish, dont you think that lady is older than you,
And it is clear you are confused, how can someone that fonicated with you be God fearing, from what u wrote that lady is a master in seduction and she has caught you, I hope you know you and that lady are not born again. You are about to fall into a deep pit, HA! I feel sorry for you

God fearing bt una dey fuk. Nigerians and hypocrisy sha

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

Don't rush things. Take your time and trust me those scales will fall off your eyes with time. Single mothers are very good with trapping young guys.... They know how to fvck and also how to treat a guy right.... But there is always an angle. Just don't rush things.... Date her for a long as possible,when she thinks you are just fvcking her for free.... She will show her true colour.

Op God will help you, but have this in mind your single mom she is just a church goer that is yet to know Christ imagine her past experienced , she can still have another sex in out of wedlock ,what if she got pregnant again it means 3rd child without married? I think she attending your church just because of husband sake.

When virgins fool everywhere

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

bro are you proud to have this single mum, can you be proud of her in public, is she good enough for you? If yes go ahead nd marry her.
Exactly this happened to me, but on my own case she was not educated and I can't be proud of uneducated woman and I dump her for the reason

Fx55:
Being a single mother is actually a disease. It's a tag you wouldn't want to carry around where I come from.... Especially if you're thinking about getting married. For God's sake, who wants to marry a second-hand woman?

Second hand woman you say ?

There are thousands of single ladies that are even worst compared to single mother.

Anyway, i don't want to belief am talking to a matured soul

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