Is there a need to call this "men's corner" or other forms of couch group counselling sessions? Lets just gist and talk.

I mentioned "men's corner" because men are the most likely to rape and more than 90% of rape cases have involved men being the aggressor.

From http://www.dictionary.com/browse/rape,

Rape is unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim

So basically consent right? But is it all about consent?

Imagine a lady comes to visit you and at 1am, you ask her for sex. She turns you down and you threaten to throw her out knowing well that she has nowhere to go at that time and she is also in danger if she does and because of that, she agrees, is that consent?

Imagine the Manager asking one of the receptionists for sex with the receptionist knowing well that she is at risk of losing her job so she agrees. Is that consent?

Your girl visits you, you make those romantic moves but she was not all for it and says no so you "lockup" two hours later, you take her out, buy her drinks and when you are both home, you have sex with her, she probably even took your shirt off for you but is that consent?

You are a civil servant and someone wants a file submitted but you tell her to come see you in the photocopy room first, she agrees but is that consent?

We as men need to do better. We need to drop the bullshit and rise about it.

A girl is walking down the road and you and your friends turn it into a chance to make unsavory noises cos you think they are compliments…but isnt that harassment?

You have convinced yourself that women say no but mean yes. Bruh, dont play that game……no does not and will not mean yes. Even silence does not mean yes. Because she is wet is not even mean consent. What's the worst that can happen if you dont have sex when turned on?


Can we discuss this more? Lets be better for our women and maybe the world will be a lil bit better

Its not rape if you have an option to opt out of the act. Most of the scenarios you gave are blackmail not rape.

Oga at the top don show
Some men don't care if the lady say no, all they want is to satisfy their sexual urge.

The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she felt like killing him that moment.

Lionbite:
Its not rape if you have an option to opt out of the act.

Yes but is consent drawn by coercion really consent?

Lionbite:
Its not rape if you have an option to opt out of the act. Most of the scenarios you gave are blackmail not rape.

And the topic is not all about rape, it is also about sexual harassment and other grey areas

Mynd44:

Yes but is consent drawn by coercion really consent?

ofcourse...... it doesnt matter the medium used, as long as you succumb to engage in the sexual willingly Its not rape

Lionbite:

ofcourse...... it doesnt matter the medium used, as long as you succumb to engage in the sexual willingly Its not rape

what are you trying to say?

Lionbite:

ofcourse...... it doesnt matter the medium used, as long as you succumb to engage in the sexual willingly Its not rape

So you do not see anything wrong with this? Why?

Mynd44:

And the topic is not all about rape, it is also about sexual harassment and other grey areas

the act of coercing and blackmail can be acclamatized to sexual harrassment but not rape.

according to the constitution or according to the society

Mynd44:

So you do not see anything wrong with this? Why?

why wont i, everything is wrong with it. Why will u decide to hold others to ransome just to please your sexuall urges. Sex should be a mutual agreement from the heart of both parties

Evaberry:
according to the constitution or according to the society

Both ways really. Lets just talk

Lionbite:
the act of coercing and blackmail can be acclamatized to sexual harrassment but not rape.

Hence the point I made.

Do you think it should be prosecuted?

Al dose scenarios ar nt enough reason 4 a lady 2go down wen she doesn't feel like, I have encountered 2 of dose scenarios and I opted out quietly, it wsnt easy tho bt dey ar choices I decided to make.

Oyindidi:
Oga at the top don show
Some men don't care if the lady say no, all they want is to satisfy their sexual urge.

The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she was felt like killing that moment.

Marital rape.That's bad,she should report to the police.

Oyindidi:
Oga at the top don show
Some men don't care if the lady say no, all they want is to satisfy their sexual urge.

The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she was felt like killing that moment.

This is sad Oyindidi

The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she was felt like killing that moment.


If only men can understand that sex is a two way thing. It's to be pleased, and to please. Women should marry men with understanding. This trend will continue to stick around for a long time.

My take on alleviating rape is raise up good sons, ladies stop complaining men this, men that, every man was once a boy, no one dropped from heaven. If we want a society with good men, then we should raise up good sons.

Also, if we raise up good sons with the mindset of i'm doing this for the future, so some other persons will raise up good sons for my daughter, we will have a society saturated with good people all across. If we have a society that is proliferated with terrible people, then we are beneficiaries of our negligence.

It's easy to see girls fantasize about marrying the perfect guy, but it's difficult to see the same ladies take about " grooming ".

Perhaps responsibility is the key ! People hate to take responsibilities. So till we do all of these, let's not blame the male folk, nor the female folk for rapes, let's all blame our negligence.


Peace

MhisTahrah:
Marital rape.That's bad,she should report to the police.

Nothing as marital rape technically. It will be quashed as a family issue.

The bottom line is d word "consent" . I'll give a real life example... Mr A playfully grabbed miss B's ass in an office and with an unmistaken flirtatious smile on her face miss B said " if i catch u eh u will beg for mercy... bad boy". Mr C just walking into the office unaware of what had earlier happened tried to playfully touch miss B and behold he was met with a loud cry, the kind one would mistake for that of a woman in labour. So the bottom line is the word CONSENT.

MhisTahrah:
Marital rape.That's bad,she should report to the police.

She can't, if she refuse to pull her short, he will ejaculate on her body. Its that bad but what can she do? She is scared of losing her marriage.

IAMSASHY:
Al dose scenarios ar nt enough reason 4 a lady 2go down wen she doesn't feel like, I have encountered 2 of dose scenarios and I opted out quietly, it wsnt easy tho bt dey ar choices I decided to make.

It is not really a choice when the options are not favorable

Jupxter:





This is sad Oyindidi

The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she was felt like killing that moment.


If only men can understand that sex is a two way thing. It's to be pleased, and to please. Women should marry men with understanding. This trend will continue to stick around for a long time.

My take on alleviating rape is raise up good sons, ladies stop complaining men this, men that, every man was once a boy, no one dropped from heaven. If we want a society with good men, then we should raise up good sons.

Also, if we raise up good sons with the mindset of i'm doing this for the future, so some other persons will raise up good sons for my daughter, we will have a society saturated with good people all across. If we have a society that is proliferated with terrible people, then we are beneficiaries of our negligence.

It's easy to see girls fantasize about marrying the perfect guy, but it's difficult to see the same ladies take about " grooming ".

Perhaps responsibility is the key ! People hate to take responsibilities. So till we do all of these, let's not blame the male folk, nor the female folk for rapes, let's all blame our negligence.


Peace

We are all for rasong better sons ma'am but how about the present generation of women who have to deal with this women? Isnt it good if these men can unlearn the things this patriarchal society has taught them and learn to be better husbands, partners, lovers, fathers, brothers, uncles and humans.

That's the point of this thread. How men can be better

most times you don't ave to hurt yourself just to make others happy....giving in to sexually pressure is most done just as off it's a favour...most times you have to stand strong in your decision

Jupxter:



Nothing as marital rape technically. It will be quashed as a family issue.

True. But the Lagos state domestic violence law of 2017 touches some parts of it.

Look it up

Mynd44:

We are all for rasong better sons ma'am but how about the present generation of women who have to deal with this women? Isnt it good if these men can unlearn the things this patriarchal society has taught them and learn to be better husbands, partners, lovers, fathers, brothers, uncles and humans.

That's the point of this thread. How men can be better

Ego won't let them, most men treat their wives like slaves.

Oyindidi:
She can't, if she refuse to pull her short, he will ejaculate on her body. Its that bad but what can she do? She is scared of losing her marriage.

That is gross
I think that we Africans have so spiritualized sex that we dread speaking about it in public. If this matter were to be trashed in a family meeting I'm a 100% certain things would change

of course, at dat point, dey ar far from favorable, in fact, nt evrybody wl survive it bt, risks must b taken at a point in life.

Take for instance, ur no2 scenario, after working 4 a month, d option I got from my boss ws sex or no salary, I had 2 quit d job wtout even d payment, am happy I did bc d nxt Job I got ws triple salary of d former one, risks sometimes ar stepping stones 2 ur success, if u dnt take dem, u may remain at same stage, u dnt hurt ursef 2 please pple

Mynd44:

It is not really a choice when the options are not favorable

Oyindidi:
Ego won't let them, most men treat their wives like slaves.

ma'am that's y the first phrase in relationships is called dating so as to know your lover more


rule 1: know your audience

LordHiffy:

That is gross
I think that we Africans have so spiritualized sex that we dread speaking about it in public. If this matter were to be trashed in a family meeting I'm a 100% certain things would change

That's the point, I advised her to but she is too scared. You know those men that behaves like lords in their home. Let me not say much. I feel sorry for her but there's nothing I can do to help her.

This post shouldn't just be about how men can be better, but women too. You may not have heard about young boys suffering sexual molestation from grown up "aunties" or how men are being sexually harassed by ladies but i can assure you that these things have and are still happening. Its rather unfortunate that the same society that is blamed for making women feel intimidated by men is also responsible for making any "weak" man a laughing stock. When a man touches its called sexual assault, but when a woman touches its called flirting.

Jupxter:



Nothing as marital rape technically. It will be quashed as a family issue.

It is still rape nonetheless.Married sex should be consensual.Saying "I do" to marriage doesn't give one the liberty to coerce or force one's partner into doing something they'd rather not do.Their decisions should be respected.

zainmaxwell:
ma'am that's y the first phrase in relationships is called dating so as to know your lover more


rule 1: know your audience

My brother, some people can pretend for Africa.

OK....today's rape talk!!!