@ op..like many have said..love is more than just having feelings for each other.. It's about how determined you re for a relationship to work. U might be thinking dat u will find someone better after leaving her but the truth is u re abt to embark on a bad journey ...plan ur life wit her..u won't regret u did..once u start seeing her as a gem dat she is , surely u will love her more..dnt throw this away I beg u..guild her jealously

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

Have you had sex with her? Your answer will help me give you the best answer.

I've been there on several occasion. Have dated people out of pity or move from helping out to an unplanned relationship.

First of all, stop sex and anything amorous with her and see her love for you go down a bit. Reduce her frequent visit to your house and pretend to cheat a little. If she suspects, apologise. When she thinks you cheat, she will start giving room to other guys and who knows you may be free at the end.
Please don't just push her out, she may commit suicide.

Errr @ OP.
Aside the fact that you don't love her or maybe she's not one rich posh slay queen... Does she possess other characteristics that is a turn off for you?

Let me rephrase... Do you think she's a "wife material"?

OP, why don't you love her? you didn't even give one reason why you are not in love with her.
is it appearance? is it behavioral or what?

A woman can either break you or give you the world ,depends on how you treat her...

Op fight your fight o....
The only thing scary about love is when he wakes up one morning and says " it's over"

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.
By
She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

fake story I just know when you said she's beside you as you typed heard that alot jawe

So u only chased after the vulnerable girl for sex, told her lies to get her to sleep with u and now u want to dump her. U don't need to marry her if u don't love her but u didnt have to sleep with her either, knowing u didn't love her!! U are heartless!!! It's imbeciles like u who sleep with girls left and right, dump them, then turn around screaming u want to marry a virgin, smdh.

Trust me op she's not the worse in the world. I was in a similar situation and emotions almost got me. I had to hold my ground.

Am like hey, you even eat three square meals so your situation ain't that bad after all. I called the quit.

Life goes on. Besides, if you ain't well to do would she stay? Think about that then make your decision objectively rather than emotionally.

Goodluck

Better leave her before she gets pregnant for you and your family will make you marry her, for all those saying he is wicked, life is never fair, many girls have experienced heartbreak and they didn't die of it, life goes on. Sympathy marriage is not the best.

cruchenutii:
I asked these same questions on my thread yeah? https://www.nairaland.com/4118415/how-break-up-girlfriend-without

And Wait!



Odikwa Risky oh !

It's heartless...

GraGra247:


I know devils like you with black blood running in your veins will show up.

Heart that is dead and filled with gravel.

Compassion - Zero

Love - Zero

Mercy - Zero

nothing like that.. he's just being truthful

You are the type of guys that make girls turn into something else.
I blame parental training, bad association and a terrible character for this. And you hide under the "no one should judge me"...
Sometimes, imagine if it was your daughter that was to be the victim here. But no.

But go ahead and confess all you have said to her. Leave her peacefully. You are honest but wicked.

Emotional harm is the worst harm you can give to people. It has a way to ALWAYS come back (experience as a former gang boy).

Newboss:
I've never seen a bigger fool!

You never know what you have until it ceases to be yours, dummy!

DISCLAIMER: Except she is not sexy tho

He's an absolute Juvenile creature!

He wants butterflies in his stomach and fire in his soul. A jobless girl with enough time on her hands to go to the mall with wearing matching sneakers.

A 19yr old with a sense of responsibility is too much of a woman for the boy, she deserves a man.

Break up with her already, boy!

Bro, if handled wrongly, you're very close to the hottest part of hell fire.

People make mistakes, shit happens... You've acknowledged your wrong and ready to make amends... Lets fix this.


Have you mentioned marriage to her when you trying go enter?

Answer this let's know our next move.

jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

never love or date out of pity you have on the other party, it doesn't last. just tell her the truth, she might be mature enough to understand

Oluwaseyi00:


Both of you have laid a very bad foundation For your life and destiny.. Only Jesus can restructure it, Accept him today.

You're right but this is a fanatic response... They won't accept Jesus Christ by merely advising them to... Why not ask the Holy Spirit on their behalf

Let her go ASAP!!! She will get over it and come out stronger than before. Better guys are out there waiting for a lady made matured by her encounter with your kind. I speak out of experience. I left my ex because I realized I don't love her anymore due to certain reasons, though she is an averagely good lady. I prayed that she finds someone better than me who can accept her 100%. I believe she is happier now. LET HER GO. The sooner she is free the sooner she finds her way out of the pain and grow.

Op this is the same reason why I decided to remain single.
I have done this to 3 girls, the last one wont let me rest , always begging everyday on phone.

I had to take a break and think of what my problem is, I just couldnt continue that way.
It appears I don't want any commitment.
Now after a long break (2 yrs plus) im ready to date anyone that will lead to marriage but I think I'm being over careful and it really making me become too selective.

I pray God help me, because the truth of the matter is , true love does not exist or let me put it this way , love diminishes over time.
So if it is love you are looking for, I hope you find it but make sure the one u find loves you more than you love her.

Concerning your girl, if you don't intend marrying her, leave her alone. You owe her nothing. Girls even do worse to guys without remorse, so u don't owe her anything. But support her the best way u can since u know her situation.

To use slap reset your brain dey hungry me .
When another nigga is played by this girl after you break up with,we will all gather here to call girls devils.Haba 19 years old,you will make it extremely hard for her to trust guys again or turn her to a good girl gone bad.

my brother ,no stress ,just tell her say the doctor test you and that u are HIV positive..she will run for her dear life

You never loved these lady at first is obvious u were sexually attracted to her only.too bad,is better u tell her the truth than enjoying what isn't yours

You are a coward!

You awoken her love with no intention of loving her back and here you are making her seem vulnerable.

Let her go already. Be kind enough to tell her it was all lies from the onset so she doesn't start wondering where she went wrong.

My candid advice is to stop having se!x with the lady, try to make her your friend. And you will see that you gradually grow in love

Op, please i'll advise you to find a way to break up with that girl NOW. Don't waste her time any further. You can start by avoiding her and not taking her calls etc, that way she will gradually get the message. Never marry out of pity ! This is why many married women are suffering today. Just recently we read a post here by a married lady whose husband treat like an outcast. This is how it starts !

Don't mind anybody telling go ahead when you know that you are not into that lady. Please don't listen to that, unless you know you can cope with her on the long run and not make life miserable for her in marriage.

She is still young and i am sure she will find some else who will appreciate her the way she is.

OP but why?
When guys are praying to God for this kind of lady and u are here trying to push her away...can’t you see that in this 21st century
There are so many fake girls out there? Trying to ruin men life...be wise ooo...because I hate the word HAD I KNOWN

This guy has chop this girl's ponyor sotey he tire, now he wants to dump her.

This is why the good people in the world are getting lesser and lesser, this girl will either become an olosho , slayqueen or just never trust men again.

My brother leave her if you want o, just know say as you do am to person, another person go do am do you

I no bother read ham. but wen u dey eat her kpekus, u no know sey u no love her ba! u don turn her oranges to slack variable u wan come throway ham

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

You don't want to hurt her. Then you love her.

Prec1ous:
Marriage and relationship do not actually survive on love alone.

If you have grown truly, you should have become futuristic to see that this lady can earn you money from business, take care of your kids and never leave.

YOUR problem now is that, you feel you can do better.. Like get a more educated, cultured and pretty woman. It is called the shiny Object syndrome.

The best relationships is one where the woman loves the most, man's job is to complement with logic.

If you you don't need her again, tell her to go but mark this day, you just threw out a rare gem.

God bless you for this wonderful piece.