EVEN THAT ONE CHILD CAN STILL BE SS.

CONFAMA:
The probability that they will give birth to a sickler is just 25% which is still low to me although the risks increases if they continue to bear children overtime without limitation.

My advice to the couple is to limit the number of their children to just one or two at most.

pandax:
My dear, I am As and married AS as well. There is a procedure called PGS ( Pre-Implantation Genetic Screening) to be followed by IVF ( In vitro fertilisation), It could be done in Nigeria with a cost of N5m maximum; though we did ours in Eastern Europe and presently my wife is in her 7th month of pregnancy ( 1AS Boy, 1AA Girl & 1AABoy)

Alternatively, if trhe girl is below 28 years they could go for a procedure called CVS( chorionic villus sampling) or another one called 'amniocentesis' to determine the genotype of the foetus within 12 weeks and a D&C could be carried out if unfavourable.

God has given us wisdom, use it wisely

I'm glad you added the cost implication. How many people can afford that. I guess you are fortunate to be able to handle the expenses. Let's not forget that these guys (medico) are quick to hide under the umbrella "CHANCE" Even condom sef, dem go tell you say no be 100% assurance. I wont advice anyone not to go ahead with such an arrangement but I will definitely not give my support. For God's sake, let's think about these kids. Out there in Europe where you are, I believe such kids if one is unfortunate to have them would have access to the best health care ever. Not in this our own Naija. Its hell to even consider it.
If

Firstly there are two options for them and they both require courage and a lot of money

No 1. IVF (which can fail and is crazily expensive. genetic diagnosis + IVF could gulp close to 5-6 million for 2 cycles)---I advise they visit a fertility clinic and confirm the cost first

No 2. Prenatal diagnosis - Test the pregnancy at 10-12 weeks and abort if SS. This is emotionally draining and considering you are not clear on the number of abortions you will end up doing

In summary, this decision is not for the faint hearted or lazy. If your brother embarks on this option and funds become a major issue coupled with a wife who isn't financially ready as well, meeehn that love go evaporate o

I advise he goes about to understand the cost(financial and emotionally) of avoiding a sickle cell birth and if it is something they can deal then goodluck else simply find a woman you are compatible with.

Regards

Regards

CONFAMA:
The probability that they will give birth to a sickler is just 25% which is still low to me although the risks increases if they continue to bear children overtime without limitation.

My advice to the couple is to limit the number of their children to just one or two at most.

My friend, abeg leave percentage o
Even if they did not plan to have more than 2 as you suggested and the first one that dropped is an SS, wetin go happen. Limitation is not the solution for me since no guarantee that the child in question will come as a first, second or third child.

luchee:

Sorry, I just had to quote you. There is nothing about respecting choices/wishes in this case because this doesn't involve only the couple but also the unborn child(ren) whom they might bring into the world to suffer. What about the child that might probably go through severe pains almost every day of his/her life?
If you have ever been close to any sickler, you wouldn't think twice about this.
What about even the trauma that the parents would have to pass through; hypertension and Co?
It is really not a nice experience.

Well said. Thank you

DopeAngel:
thank you fear. the thing is the girl herself is not ready to let him go. she still even calls him. her age factor is making her even more desperate. i dont care if the girl gets married or not. she should just leave my bro alone. i mean is that too hard for a lady to do? am so much pained. right now i have so much hatred towards the girl. right now i am thinking of giving her a very sound warning to stay away from my family or else she would never find peace. i would be very happy to be the black sheep that destroyed the relationship and save the lives of my bro's unborn kids. is it right?

I responded to the first post but allow me to say this. It is good to be concerned about your brother, not to hate his GF. for goodness sake, your bro is an adult. Why not direct your hatred towards your brother too. What if your brother is the one not willing to let go of her and its not open to you guys. I dont mean to be rude, would do hate her if she was married to your brother and she desired to have sex everyday as against your brother's choice of 2ce a week because you feel it might tell on his health. We are all adults, just like your bro and his GF. Let them be bro. On a lighter mood, if you happen to be a woman and you come be mother-in-law, your daughter in law go hear am o. Just be cool bro and take it easy. You've played your part.

eyinjuege:
Its not your relationship, neither is it your business.
The main thing is for both of them to understand the risks involved, and if they're ready to plunge in, goodluck to them.
Your place as a brother is to support. Not dictate, not rule or instruct your brother.
You should learn to respect your brother's choice and wishes. If you're not ready to support him, you can disown him.

There's a lot of selfishness here, they understand what they're diving into, but what about the innocent unborn child?

1Sharon:


So much ignorance and naivety in this post . You really need to update ur knowledge cos sickle cell is not how it used to be and is not what you assume it is.

Ignoramus

Hello?

I reside in PH and not abroad. In fact the cost of PGS & IVF has gone down now. There are clinics like Nordica, Bridge and the rest in Nigeria that can comfortably carry out the procedure with their foreign partners. it is doable. I married my wife with my last N1m in my account and I knew that we were not compatible because of our genotype. I love her and was able to do it because we did not tell anyone except my mother-in-law who supported us. Till today, we have not done white wedding as most churches refused wedding us. I told my wife to follow me that God will see us through. Today, I have tens of millions within 2 years of marriage and my healthy triplets are on the way. Maybe, after delivery we will go back and see if churches will wed us.

AloneTK:







I'm glad you added the cost implication. How many people can afford that. I guess you are fortunate to be able to handle the expenses. Let's not forget that these guys (medico) are quick to hide under the umbrella "CHANCE" Even condom sef, dem go tell you say no be 100% assurance. I wont advice anyone not to go ahead with such an arrangement but I will definitely not give my support. For God's sake, let's think about these kids. Out there in Europe where you are, I believe such kids if one is unfortunate to have them would have access to the best health care ever. Not in this our own Naija. Its hell to even consider it.
If

CONFAMA:
The probability that they will give birth to a sickler is just 25% which is still low to me although the risks increases if they continue to bear children overtime without limitation.

My advice to the couple is to limit the number of their children to just one or two at most.

What if that SS child is the first or second child?

Looking at it mathematically, that particular 0.25 will occur randomly unless they have full control of other dependent variables such as their gene transmission, which we know they don't.

That is a rather high risk to take. Lives shouldn't be gambled on.

DopeAngel:
I did bro. i dont think he is in his right mind right now. he is desperate. what if he does not actually listen. what do you suggest i do. if the girl accepts to see my reason why i dont support their union, i think my brother will come back to his senses but the girl herself is not backing out. right now the girl is even having more influence on him than i actually do. the reason i think confronting the girl is the next best thing

i do understand u. bt 2 me i still think d best person u can talk 2, too backoff 4rm d relationship is ur brother not the lady.

an minded u am also an SS, so am not one bit in support of d reletionship, if he can afford money for some of the test dat have been listed 2 aviod given birth 2 SS he can go ahead,

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

My dear, u're hurting cos of ur ignorance. I wish my ex had parents like urs. I'd av bn d happiest man on earth by now.
This is 2018, not 1820. With appropriate medical/reproductive health guidance AS couples can marry without giving birth to sicklers. They shud rather seek expert advice on how to go abt it.

OkoYibo:


Love is not blind in this century, it's your ignorance as a nurse that is appalling. Go and read up on PGD testing. CVS and amniocentesis tests.

Dear OkoYibo, Of course those test detects abnormalities in utero and there's a 25% chances that AS couple could have SS children, some people are lucky while some are not. Not everyone can afford the expenses of those tests...... . Bdw, if you are a medical practitioner, you should know that insultive languages are not good enough. Have a nice day.

Christie06:
Dear OkoYibo, Of course those test detects abnormalities in utero and there's a 25% chances that AS couple could have SS children, some people are lucky while some are not. Not everyone can afford the expenses of those tests and if the result test positive, not everyone can take the option of terminating it. My advice still remains, that the couple should not get married...... . Bdw, if you are a medical practitioner, you should know that insultive languages are not good enough. Have a nice day.

I'm not a medic but I've removed the offensive words in my initial post. Other points noted, thanks.

It's one thing to be ignorant of your genotype before marriage and have one or two children with sickle cell but it is another thing to know and deliberately want to test God.

People always forget that work comes before faith,the work here is finding out your genotype before marriage and doing the right thing which is calling off the relationship. It's like wanting to be like Daniel in the Bible by deliberately jumping into the lion's den and expecting not to be eaten.

I always feel for folks with AS genotype, imagine falling inlove with someone and later find out your genotypes don't match.
Thank God for me and my e-boo, ideyfindwife , nothing can separate us, not even genotype

MYHUBBY:
if I need to answer the AS of a thing, I happened to know couples who are both AS but are married for 5yrs now with three kids


how did they do it, they use medical method according to them to verify the genotype of the baby in the pregnancy, when the pregnancy is still in the period of possible abortion, I don't know how true is that. once is ss, they abort the pregnancy and sleep for another one


the first was AS and the second was SS which they eliminate


if those two lovebirds can't follow a scientific and medical method, let them find their route

It is possible,many couples are doing that

folake4u:
Love is all about sacrifice and the sacrifice your brother has to pay is to let the girl go. His future children will not forgive him for bringing them to the world for them to suffer the sickle cell anemia. Talk to your parents and your brother not to bring religion into this, inasmuch faith in God to perform miracle is key, some experiences are really not the best teacher.

You're right.
Many churches don't permit or join such couples anymore unless the couple insist at their own risk.
You don't tempt God because He does miracles, if God doesn't perform a miracle in your case you can't sue Him to any court.
While there are cases of such marriage going to produce healthy children, the risk is too high and every Christian is not on the same level of faith nor grace mates.

DopeAngel:
the thing on my mind right now to do is to warn the girl to seriously stay away from my family and brother or else she wont like the treatment she will be getting from me. i will never ever support the marriage. i am not ready to be an uncle to a sickler. the girl wants to ruin my family. my brother is been perpetually ignorant and foolish. i really dont know what is wrong with him. too much disappointment is not enough reason to go ahead with this marriage. i am tired and unhappy. please i need serious advice on how to end this evil relationship. lalasticlala mynd44 ishilove any other moderator please help a brother in this problem

He just needs information and education on the issues involved with Sickle cell and let him weigh his options. The headache, pains and agony of dealing with SS isn't worth such risk bt if at the end of the day after weighing his options chooses to go ahead let him be. It's his life to live not urs. I know a couple in same situation out of 5 kids just 2 where SS.

U mention disappointments are pushing him into going ahead. How old is he and hv u helped him with any alternatives.

OkoYibo:


I'm not a medic but I've removed the offensive words in my initial post. Other points noted, thanks.

Thank you.

AloneTK:




Hahahaha....my good friend. How verifiable is that? Breaking a relationship built on love is hard. True! But they will surely get over it. That one wey you dey talk, once gbege happen, person wey formulate the medical method wey u dey talk no go show face o....Its safe not to take such risks

it's real, those couple are so closed to me. they're both AS and that's the method they use

Some people stupidly believe that love conquers all, what they fail to release is that love can constrained or strangulated by many force along the journey. One of such forces is health challenges and discomfort it can bring and time and money it can consume.
Seeing fire ahead and deliberately running into it because you believe in miracles amount to resting God. Many Christians have shot themselves in the foot for this mentality and they have suffered.

pandax:
I reside in PH and not abroad. In fact the cost of PGS & IVF has gone down now. There are clinics like Nordica, Bridge and the rest in Nigeria that can comfortably carry out the procedure with their foreign partners. it is doable. I married my wife with my last N1m in my account and I knew that we were not compatible because of our genotype. I love her and was able to do it because we did not tell anyone except my mother-in-law who supported us. Till today, we have not done white wedding as most churches refused wedding us. I told my wife to follow me that God will see us through. Today, I have tens of millions within 2 years of marriage and my healthy triplets are on the way. Maybe, after delivery we will go back and see if churches will wed us.

Good for you then. Well... congrats
why bother going back to the church if you've already attended the Marriage Registry. You know as church things be, dem go begin read useless meaning to the kids you guys already have before coming for church blessings. You are already blessed man
Regards

MYHUBBY:




it's real, those couple are so closed to me. they're both AS and that's the method they use

Is that medical service available and affordable to all?
Have you considered that, that it worked for someone else is guarantee that all others can do same.

DeRay98:


Is that medical service available and affordable to all?
Have you considered that, that it worked for someone else is guarantee that all others can do same.

is applicable to all pregnancy in the world either black or Caucasian. you can hypothesize your baby genotype in the pregnancy

i think at this point the poster can just hope for the best as both parties involved are adults and know the implications of their intentions.
He does not have the right to stop the marriage only the couple can do that, what is baffling is that the girl should know better as she has a medical background but who knows whats going on in their heads.

Having an SS child is tough and if they are unlucky they will soon find out. Adoption is always an option if they are open to that , this way everyone wins

andergirl:

Wetin be your own now,if your brother insists,please just join them in their prayers so they won't have ss children. Simple.

Can you hear your self, even the Bible says do not tempt the Lord your God, he works miracle but still he gave us sense of reason to fill away from afflictions, You know the repercussion of AS marrying another an you want to drag God into it, the trauma is unbearable, the pains kill the woman over and over and over, trust me you can not bear the look on the child's face everytime he or she is needled becos you failed to stop the love you fill now. Prayer works but do not test God out of foolishness. HEALTH IS WEALTH AND ALSO PEACE.

eyinjuege:
Its not your relationship, neither is it your business.
The main thing is for both of them to understand the risks involved, and if they're ready to plunge in, goodluck to them.
Your place as a brother is to support. Not dictate, not rule or instruct your brother.
You should learn to respect your brother's choice and wishes. If you're not ready to support him, you can disown him.

Would you be happy with your parents if you were born a sickler? This is not about the parents here, it's about the child. I lost my best friend at the age of 18 to sickle cell anemia. The pain was just too much for him. He'd wake up in the night screaming and yelling and begging to die.
Would you like your nephew to suffer this just because the couple are adults and it's no business of yours.

Something that should be openly criticised in this age of modernity is being encouraged because you serve a living God.
Jump in a lake of fire and watch your living God save you.
Marry an AS with your AS genotype and watch the living God deliver you

DopeAngel:
thank you fear. the thing is the girl herself is not ready to let him go. she still even calls him. her age factor is making her even more desperate. i dont care if the girl gets married or not. she should just leave my bro alone. i mean is that too hard for a lady to do? am so much pained. right now i have so much hatred towards the girl. right now i am thinking of giving her a very sound warning to stay away from my family or else she would never find peace. i would be very happy to be the black sheep that destroyed the relationship and save the lives of my bro's unborn kids. is it right?

i believe I read enough to write this:

Marriage is of God.

I believe you have never been in a family, or witnessed what it means to be a black sheep in a family.

If your elder brother is happy, joyful to marry her, your parents are in full support (giving their blessings), don't ever try to cause it to be dissolved. Because, curses from your elder brother and parents would abound on you.

BE WARNED

sacramento1212:


And then what happens to Traditional Marriage? Will minister announce that one too

If it doesn't matter at that point, why do they always ask of it?

Deltayankeeboi:
some people can just be too ignorant. of all the cases i have seen in this issue, nobody has ever escaped from it. there all had SS child. God can do anything but dont jump into fire you have seen with your clear eyes hoping you wont burn because you serve God. now the kids would suffer the consequences of a very ignorant decision made. what a life! and the girl is even a nurse. your brother should better open his eyes

I ve a friend whose Parent escaped it, his Mum nd Dad are both As they gave birth to four Children of which all are As no SS.It is possible, but I wouldn't advise dm to tk such risk.

CONFAMA:
You probably don't understand what I meant. Let's assume they decide to have ten children. What is the probability that at least one of them would be SS compared to just having two kids.
So the fewer the number of children, the lesser the probability that at least one of them will be a sickler.

Abeg leave story o.
I knew of a couple with both genotype AS, the first child was SS.
I used the word 'was' because she was no more after much pains and financial drains on the part of the parents.

frenzyduchess:
It's one thing to be ignorant of your genotype before marriage and have one or two children with sickle cell but it is another thing to know and deliberately want to test God.

People always forget that work comes before faith,the work here is finding out your genotype before marriage and doing the right thing which is calling off the relationship. It's like wanting to be like Daniel in the Bible by deliberately jumping into the lion's den and expecting not to be eaten.

I always feel for folks with AS genotype, imagine falling inlove with someone and later find out your genotypes don't match.
Thank God for me and my e-boo, ideyfindwife , nothing can separate us, not even genotype

Mere contact with our blood will restore these feeble humans.

My Diva, our essences are divine, beyond mortal corruption as our love transcends Cronus

My heart, we are Homo Perfecta, we can only birth gods!