elizbeth111:
hmm suicide and depression? very very real,i lost my friend a couple of weeks ago,she committed suicide.. I'm still in shock and in pain..she was intelligent, from a rich home, she had a wonderful job and the best guy..i still can't fathom what and why she killed herself.

she locked herself up and ended her own life by cutting her wrist and bled out.. please if you are in pain or passing through any problem,please speak out,i beg you

This is sad

The most shocking thing about many suicides is that their loved ones never noticed the depression leading up to it

Lily4star:



Thanks for sharing. The Lord is your strength. Please quit as it is now and don't ever get tempted back

Call me a pessimist but if his story is true I would say there's no say back for him unless he cries for external help and violently extreme measures are put in place to prevent him betting

First step is for him to confess to his people what he's done before the chips start to fall so they can start sorting themselves out because it would be worse if he has to wait for them to figure it out and from the story some have started figuring it out

Diamond23:
Found solace here

lol then u have much bigger problems sugar

paschal47:





Sister we have to keep our eyes on you

Well am fine

Ridhw0n:
Alright brothers I've read from page 1 to 3 and I've got something to say too

I'm really happy for those that have passed through this stage and survive and for those of us still in this phase of life i pray God be our guidance.

In a nutshell i would like to share my story too.

Firstly I'm an IT student here in Lagos for the period of six months.

It all started July 2018 exactly the day of Portugal vs Uruguay. My mummy sent me 100k to buy a laptop for my younger bro here in Lagos. It happened that i was so broke then that i can't even afford a plate of food. People around me were busy making money out of football by punting (betting). I quickly made a rash decision i could make some money too since i'm good at prediction and i could even do better by staking high on a relatively low odds. In no time i picked my phone log on to the internet and registered on bet9ja. I credited my bet9ja account with the money Mumc sent me and played some games. As devil would have it, i won all games making me more than 100k richer. I got so excited that i kept on punting throughout the whole week without losing a single game. By this time i had made more than 400k.

I decided to make a withdrawal of 190k so i could keep my bro 100k and have the 90k for myself. Within 24hrs the withdrawal was approved i got the money. By this time i had 250k left in my bet9ja account, so i was thinking of how to make it 500k and cease punting. I didn't know the devil was about to reason my matter. I used same strategy as before but the money continue deprecating as i continue to lose terribly. Within 4days i lost the whole 250k but i didn't give up as i deposited 70k from the withdrawal i made before. I lost the whole 70k within few days also yet i still believe i can make it by depositing the remaining 100k. Now back to square one with a burning desire and confidence to win but as devil wants it i lost it all. By this time i was -100k which means i was owing a debt of 100k.

I started making calls to friends and family to borrow money with different lies yet i was still losing it to this devil. I helped my sister changed her Gtb account transfer password so i know it off-hand. With the spirit that i can still make it, i transferred the sum of 120k from her account yet i lost it all same for Grandma's 50k.

By this time I've already learnt my mistake and realised the devil was using me but i need to get back all this money that ain't mine. This, was the only reason i continued to engaged in punting and when i lose i feel so depressed and suicidal.

Just last week i won about 140k which gave me hope that things are getting back to normal but my debt was 350k so i needed to punt more so i could win more and pay off all debts and say bye bye to devil. But in less than a day i lost it all and back to square one.

By this time i had no means of getting money and friends are calling me already for there money. I've to block most numbers and most times switched off my phone to avoid calls or messages. Now i look so wretched and sick from drepession because till now grandma and my sister are not aware that i had transferred all there savings and by October is my sister's freedom from her place of work. So as days goes by so does the intense of my depression and suicidal thoughts.

Yesterday Mumc sent me 45k, 20k for the balance of the laptop and 25k for Grandma to celebrate sallah. I thought i could use the money to punt and win some amount of money so i could buy the laptop but yet again i lost it all.

Right now suicide is the only option i have left as i think I'm possessed or been cursed.

I've the desire to quit but what about the money i'm owing which is about 400k. I've lost everything and now i realised albeit I'm a first class student in academics I'm nothing but a loser in real life.

In the end if I'm lucky to survive this I'll notify this group, if not know i had taken a bold decision. And i hope somebody learnt one or two things from my post. Please be contented with whatever you've and don't be greedy.

Thanks for reading.

Wow!

People are usually surprised when I tell them I've never played sports betting before despite the fact that I could mention the name of almost every player in the top 4 leagues together with where they've been before and many results their teams have stretching back to over 2 decades with varying degrees of accuracy. many even think I'm lying when I tell them I have no idea about it

Honestly this sports betting of a thing is a fast way to lose a fortune which would've been compounded so while punters think they lost 100k today, they've lost even more by power of compounding interest.

There was a tailor that approached me, said he needed money to keep his business afloat. He seemed a responsible guy so I lent him 50,000 but in my mind I actually gave him. Few months later I learnt his business was actually okay but had gotten into debt by sports betting, he lost everything I "lent" him to the same sports betting

I think the government needs to step in and stem the destruction sports betting is wreaking in the lives of youths of Nigeria. Many of these guys are losing money they don't have in attempts to recover the monies they lost till they have nothing left, not even self worth. I do empathise with you though and honestly stories like yours make me more determined not to bet

You need to come clean to your people. they won't kill you. the earlier the better and the faster you'd get help because if you keep shamefully keeping it secret it might get so bad when the secret gets blown out that you might be forced to commit suicide out of shame

HardMirror:
.

I appreciate this sir, i've known you for a long time on Nairaland through my previous account "Teensway" (deactivated). I got it deactivated after i left a note of wanting to commit sucide on nairaland. About learning a skill, i've tried programming. I have some knowledge on c++ and python but i can't practice because i lack the necessary tools which i can't afford. I've tried mechanic, it was Mum's pressure that made me to stop. Tried generator mechanic, same.


I'm currently teaching some pupils at our home but half of the pay goes to mum. I received 3k yesterday, i initially wanted to register for P-ume but mum borrowed it promising to pay today. I could have gone to compt villa et all, Mais Je n'ai pas le temp and i'm not in Lagos. I've wanted to try freelancing but i have no tools except this Java phone i'm holding.


I know what you mean, but the will is there but i can't find a way. It's as if i stucked in a black hole and i'm not progressing

IamTeen:
I appreciate this sir, i've known you for a long time on Nairaland through my previous account "Teensway" (deactivated). I got it deactivated after i left a note of wanting to commit sucide on nairaland. About learning a skill, i've tried programming. I have some knowledge on c++ and python but i can't practice because i lack the necessary tools which i can't afford. I've tried mechanic, it was Mum's pressure that made me to stop. Tried generator mechanic, same.


I'm currently teaching some pupils at our home but half of the pay goes to mum. I received 3k yesterday, i initially wanted to register for P-ume but mum borrowed it promising to pay today. I could have gone to compt villa et all, Mais Je n'ai pas le temp and i'm not in Lagos. I've wanted to try freelancing but i have no tools except this Java phone i'm holding.


I know what you mean, but the will is there but i can't find a way. It's as if i stucked in a black hole and i'm not progressing

where are you based?

elizbeth111:
i won't call mine depression because i've not thought of sucide yet..but i pray i pass through this phase and come out victorious.. i pray someone somewhere will come to my aid

Sister please u can talk to us just remove ur dp and u'll become faceless.

Many of us have passed through this stage and came out victorious.

Post ur mind and mention hardmirror, lest do the little we can.

Take care

Dasherz:
I've tried and failed thrice now dad opens the door to my room first thing in the morning everyday to check up on me

What prompted the decision to attempt suicide.

Kindly share it is a faceless forum

Goodlyhrt:
You have you and some cvnts to prove wrong

Sorry, I'm not proving anything to anybody, nobody cares about anything or anyone, i do not really care about that too
The future is looking too bleak
Everything I imagined would happen years ago always happened and my premonitions continues like that till this day
If I had money I or were even a yahoo boy those days I would have saved my family, relocated and even saved my Sister and Mama, but I used to think very differently then
Things would not be this bad,
Sorry for the long post

hopefulLandlord:


Call me a pessimist but if his story is true I would say there's no say back for him unless he cries for external help and violently extreme measures are put in place to prevent him betting

First step is for him to confess to his people what he's done before the chips start to fall so they can start sorting themselves out because it would be worse if he has to wait for them to figure it out and from the story some have started figuring it out

I doubt with the level things has gotten to the point of thinking suicide, he ought to have learnt by now, who wouldn't??

Lily4star:


I doubt with the level things has gotten to the point of thinking suicide, he ought to have learnt by now, who wouldn't??

lol. You know nothing about gambling. When i lost my first 30k i tot i would never gamble again. Now i have lost over 5million. I have a thread here on nairaland where i talked about gambling. I had lost 2million at that point and yet today i have exceeded 5million. Breaking free from gambling is not by being willed, you have to create structures to keep your finances away from your direct control

HardMirror:
lol. You know nothing about gambling. When i lost my first 30k i tot i would never gamble again. Now i have lost over 5million. I have a thread here on nairaland where i talked about gambling. I had lost 2million at that point and yet today i have exceeded 5million. Breaking free from gambling is not by being willed, you have to create structures to keep your finances away from your direct control

Thanks for the enlightenment, easier said than done, my bad, I hope he stays strong, are you in a work in progress to quit now?

HardMirror:
glad you are out

not really but I decide to self-console myself (aka self pity)

Lily4star:



Thanks for the enlightenment, easier said than done, my bad, I hope he stays strong, are you in a work in progress to quit now?

nope. Not quitting. Instead working towards having my own betting company. Most likely a cryptocurrency based betting platform. I regret losing so much, but all good. Let everyone lick his wounds in peace. I take responsibility for my recklessness and stupidity and i would rather map out a strategy to make money off it

.

HardMirror:
nope. Not quitting. Instead working towards having my own betting company. Most likely a cryptocurrency based betting platform. I regret losing so much, but all good. Let everyone lick his wounds in peace. I take responsibility for my recklessness and stupidity and i would rather map out a strategy to make money off it

More like my actions, my responsibilities. I hope it works out well for you like you've planned

HardMirror:
where are you based?

Kogi.

IamTeen:
Kogi.

little or nothing i have there. Keep a tab on me. Lets see if anything comes up i cld engage you with in the nearest future. By the way check out guys like Ymodulous and mayorall here on nairaland. Known these guys since 2013/2014 and it is amazing how they built their lives from almost nothing. Take time to think. Also relate make friends with guys who are thinking ahead and working... you may have to serve first, but it is all temporary, with time you would be able to stand on your own. If you were in lagos i could i linked you up with young hustling guys you can learn from

Lily4star:


More like my actions, my responsibilities. I hope it works out well for you like you've planned

thanks.

HardMirror:
little or nothing i have there. Keep a tab on me. Lets see if anything comes up i cld engage you with in the nearest future. By the way check out guys like Ymodulous and mayorall here on nairaland. Known these guys since 2013/2014 and it is amazing how they built their lives from almost nothing. Take time to think. Also relate make friends with guys who are thinking ahead and working... you may have to serve first, but it is all temporary, with time you would be able to stand on your own. If you were in lagos i could i linked you up with young hustling guys you can learn from

Thanks. You've been helpful sir.

Dasherz:
I've tried and failed thrice now dad opens the door to my room first thing in the morning everyday to check up on me

Please be strong and don't allow depression come close to you.


Always know that you will rock today's Davido Aye as an old skool in your old age.


be strong always

Lol. Nice thread. Truth is suicide and depression is not something you can understand until you experience it you might like to think you know but wait till you experience it. Situations and circumstances differ from people to people as well as their severity. Individuals differ so one must not make the mistake of using one's self as a yard stick to talk to depressed individuals. Moreover, what one sees as important in life is what another sees as rubbish. Some seek academic prudence while some seek money. Many once told themselves no matter what I will never commit suicide but many years later they become suicide victims. I try to encourage suicidal and depressed individuals but I don't push them by all means to live or tell them how valuable life is because to someone that is depressed and suicidal, life has no meaning and is of no value to them. When I want to tell them that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I ask myself "how do I know?", it's easy to advise them to pick themselves up but life is not easy like that, for every successful man, there thousands of unfortunate individuals.

I also think it's naive to say tell them that others are worse off. Truth is whether we like to acknowledge it or not, certain lives and living conditions are not worth it. They are not worth living. Suicide does not discriminate, it happens to the rich and poor, black and white, wicked and good. The topic is complex, live your life the way you want.

@hardmirror

Nice thread.

Martinez19:
@hardmirror

Nice thread.

thanks bro

Martinez19:
Lol. Nice thread. Truth is suicide and depression is not something you can understand until you experience it you might like to think you know but wait till you experience it. Situations and circumstances differ from people to people as well as their severity. Individuals differ so one must not make the mistake of using one's self as a yard stick to talk to depressed individuals. Moreover, what one sees as important in life is what another sees as rubbish. Some seek academic prudence while some seek money. Many once told themselves no matter what I will never commit suicide but many years later they become suicide victims. I try to encourage suicidal and depressed individuals but I don't push them by all means to live or tell them how valuable life is because to someone that is depressed and suicidal, life has no meaning and is of no value to them. When I want to tell them that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I ask myself "how do I know?", it's easy to advise them to pick themselves up but life is not easy like that, for every successful man, there thousands of unfortunate individuals.

I also think it's naive to say tell them that others are worse off. Truth is whether we like to acknowledge it or not, certain lives and living conditions are not worth it. They are not worth living. Suicide does not discriminate, it happens to the rich and poor, black and white, wicked and good. The topic is complex, live your life the way you want.

actually i think it is best we encourage people who express their depression to us. That is the first step. Many are glad they were talked out of the act. We can never tell, we just have to try.

HardMirror:
actually i think it is best we encourage people who express their depression to us. That is the first step. Many are glad they were talked out of the act. We can never tell, we just have to try.

True. Some are later happy that they never committed suicide (one of them even posted here) some are still in the backhole and it's even getting worse but I agree that we should always give it a try because for those that later make it, it's worth it.

Martinez19:
True. Some are later happy that they never committed suicide (one of them even posted here) some are still in the backhole and it's even getting worse but I agree that we should always give it a try because for those that later make it, it's worth it.

it is bro. We all gonna die eventually so lets face the damn thing. Tho no big deal, if afterall he/she still wanna die, no p. Do the bloody thing with no drama and ensure you make provisions for ur corpse. That is the best way to go. Not creating a mess for people around to take care of. Lolz

HardMirror:
it is bro. We all gonna die eventually so lets face the damn thing. Tho no big deal, if afterall he/she still wanna die, no p. Do the bloody thing with no drama and ensure you make provisions for ur corpse. That is the best way to go. Not creating a mess for people around to take care of. Lolz

Martinez19:

abi nau. That is the most annoying part. Expecting people to dispose of your corpse at their own expense

Dasherz:


Well am fine

Thank God.

Your diary, I must say it's a nice piece. You write well