Oyindidi:
No, its someone else I was referring to

okay

Olifiz:


Do u know her family well, her upbringing, etc. is she older than u? I’m asking all these becos some women change when they get comfortable, wen they are married. So things like her upbringing might have an impact on how she will behave after marriage. U wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where ur wife doesn’t have respect for you because she’s richer than u. Then if u must marry her I think u should start looking for a better job elsewhere or being self employed. Still depends tho.

I can’t b accurate cos me sef still Dey single o.

but u are quite knowledgeable about marriage seam I'll do well in marriage all things being equal that u utilize ur knowledge + God being on side. Thanks

Single boys and girls giving relationship advice

Daeylar:
At his age. Op is still a fuckboy. So sad.
You didn't remember her money and position when she
You dated this lady to the point where she feels comfortable enough to "gesture" to you about marriage.
You have intention of marriage but you didn't remember money and position.
Now it seems like it is getting to a time to make a decision about marriage you've suddenly become intimidated by her money and position.

I don't even think you can marry any woman op.

Any woman you marry(if you don't marry this one) if during the marriage she surpasses you in position and money. She will hear it from you.

And furthermore what kind of husband will you be when you cannot pray for your wife to be the best she can be?
You'd probably pray, let my wife excel in everything in life but let her not be greater than me Amen.


If Chimamanda talk now people will want to swallow her.

Don't mind them it is a societal thing.
Men are not advised to pray for their wives it is only women because according to religion na only the woman dey build the homeSo many insecure men I remember attending a church service back then and the woman was preaching telling women to pray that their husbands earn more money and become more successful than them just because they are men and it was their God given mandate to provide and not the place of a wife to earn more in the family.
I was dumbfounded.

SarcasticGenius:


They already know. It is a source of pride for them.

dat means muslims ar evil...lolz

omooba969:


He is not a lazy man, he's employed.

If i hear d guy is a damn gigolo

There are so many angles to look at this but the angle u are looking from is not even important...how does her miney and position in the office affect hiw u feel for each orher.
My own is..if the sex is not great...as in, u know u are not really giving her earth chattering orgasm. And shes just managing it.....ladies know how to manage, especially when all they want is the marriage title and speerm to give them them one or two kids......u go still hear am later ooo

U cannot be enjoying a ladies money and still not be able to fvck her proper....which kind nonsense be that

The main issue is that you're yet to achieve self-realization - this is very evident in your submissions herein. Anyway, you need to look beyond her surface possessions (position and fatness of her bank account) and quantify her based on the depth of the immaterial substance she's made of. If she's either feeble-minded or headstrong, discard the thought of marrying her. Meanwhile, if she's strong-minded - and if you're too - marry her since you said that both of you fancies each other and are passionate about each other. The immeasurable worth of a woman lies in her meekness, selflessness and sweetness.

Oyindidi:
I never believed in love. Love is according to your duties not all this lips service

u are right in an aspect but in an another u are wrong. What if he was performing his duties and because of old age or illness he couldn't perform again will u not remember those good old days to still give the usual undiluted love and respect anymore?

I appreciate all the comments with sincere deep thought to each of them. If all things turns out successfully, it will be an open invitation to all Nairaland users

Boss13:
All these people advising you to marry her are not married. I am going to be blunt with you - YOU HAVE VIOLATED ALL RULES IN A RELATIONSHIP

First Violation - Never enter or prolong a relationship with a colleague. This is where you make your income. You should never mess with your income. Now not only are you dating a colleague, you are also dating a senior colleague.

Love is the last issue to consider during marriage
Never marry for love only. Conduct your due diligence properly. Married people will tell you that there are times your partner disgust you. Those times will come during marriage, you cannot escape it. Look at your in-laws, especially the mother, investigate her sisters if they are married

Power Dynamics- In marriage, whoever has the more influence and power dynamics dictates the marriage. In your case, it seems your wife has more influence. Automatically, you will never earn the respect you should. Her friends will never respect you, her family will never respect you. Possibly, your children may not respect you because she is the breadwinner. These are the things that will eat you up in that marriage. Erode your ego and make you contemplate suicide.

Women Change - You keep hearing that women change when they marry and that’s 100% FACT. They change that some don’t even know they have changed. The first change you would noticed is after child birth. Apart from the physical change, her attention would move towards the child. This is nature and normal with women. Any married man who tell you that this is when you begin to feel like a visitor in your house. Regular sex turns to routine sex and then to less sex and possibly lesser sex or no sex depending on her mood swing. I don’t know your wife’s age, but for her to consider marrying you means she is not young anymore because the average woman marry up and not down - that’s women HYPERGAMY for you. So be prepared for some physical change such as natural enlargement due to child birth which may no longer make her attractive anymore and even worse due to her age. Also, be prepared for emotional changes too. It is the emotional change that will mess you up.

Young man, if you plan on being married, you must plan on being in it for the long haul and not to venture into it. Marriage is not an exercise or a test game. The kind of woman you marry determines how far and well you would be. In your case, there are many red flags. The number one is your DOUBT and that is why you are here seeking advice. Listen to this, never marry a woman who has more influence than you - NEVER. It is better to be poor and have peace of mind in your home than to marry a rich woman - YOU WILL REGRET IT.

For those cajoling you to proceed that loves conquers all or are more materially inclined due to her wealth - let them venture into it. I have advised you as I would advised my younger brother or my son when he is ready to get married. MARRIAGE IS NOT A JOKE!!!

Eleyi gidi gan o

Hotzone:
I appreciate all the comments with sincere deep thought to each of them. If all things turns out successfully, it will be an open invitation to all Nairaland users

thank you. If you see every other qualities you want in a woman go ahead age is just a number to be frank. You may end to up leaving her for a young bae whom you don't have guarantee of her respect. And endeavors to change your username when bringing your invitation

Westaslave2:
If i hear d guy is a damn gigolo

How do you know, but they're colleagues at the same place of work na.

you need to be sure you truly love her first..then mk sure she does in return and it must be genuine.. get to know her family and up bringing. mk sure she is not the type that will over ride on you wen u finally settled in marriage..cos most ladies working class with their money are like that... most of all if she respect you for who you are that's all..but always be real and keep it professional as you said. God bless you.

post your picture and her own let us know if two of you are compatible

boy16:




I think she is a feminist who now realised age is not on her side.


OP if you marry her don't come back on Nairaland saying

"my wife is too old what should I do?"

Wait I think he means senior colleague as in higher position not age o, me sef confuse now. @op which is it ?

Joshuamilarge:
Mohammed that could not resurrect, molesting young girls and sleeping carelessly with his mother age, is that a prophet?

I pity you.
You can't make it in this life and the next if you continue to reason this way.

a woman with power and money can not marry or Bleep herself

GIFTD:
but u are quite knowledgeable about marriage seam I'll do well in marriage all things being equal that u utilize ur knowledge + God being on side. Thanks

It's one thing to have knowledge about something & it's another thing to apply same knowledge in practice.

Marriage is a different ball-game entirely.

Olifiz:


Do u know her family well, her upbringing, etc. is she older than u? I’m asking all these becos some women change when they get comfortable, wen they are married. So things like her upbringing might have an impact on how she will behave after marriage. U wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where ur wife doesn’t have respect for you because she’s richer than u. Then if u must marry her I think u should start looking for a better job elsewhere or being self employed. Still depends tho.

I can’t b accurate cos me sef still Dey single o.

He has to find another job or be promoted to her level. I'm two months older than my wife. She was earning better than I did 3 months ago. Today, I earn better than her. In our first fight, she was angry when I bought data with money in her bank account - giving her cash to save my trip to bank for lodgment - saying she doesn't like having cash in hand. During our second fight, she stopped cooking foods at home for family and refused to use anything in the house bought with my money. I was not worried because I had already started looking for a house I will once in a while go to whenever she starts her nonsense. After some days, she started crying profusely.

Hotzone:
I appreciate all the comments with sincere deep thought to each of them. If all things turns out successfully, it will be an open invitation to all Nairaland users

Now you're talking & I will be coming with my adorable ibkkk.

Jogunomi1:


He has to find another job or be promoted to her level. I'm two months older than my wife. She was earning better than I did 3 months ago. Today, I earn better than her. In our first fight, she was angry when I bought data with money in her bank account - giving her cash to save my trip to bank for lodgment - saying she doesn't like having cash in hand. During our second fight, she stopped cooking foods at home for family and refused to use anything in the house bought with my money. I was not worried because I had already started looking for a house I will once in a while go to whenever she starts her nonsense. After some days, she started crying profusely.

@bolded,

Buahahahahaha That's normal for them na. Don't you know they can be very possessive when it comes to money & d1ck?

GIFTD:
u are right in an aspect but in an another u are wrong. What if he was performing his duties and because of old age or illness he couldn't perform again will u not remember those good old days to still give the usual undiluted love and respect anymore?

you are getting it all wrong

Edum13656:
post your picture and her own let us know if two of you are compatible

This is it.

boy16:




I think she is a feminist who now realised age is not on her side.


OP if you marry her don't come back on Nairaland saying

"my wife is too old what should I do?"

He said she is a senior colleague. Not that she is older than him

Hotzone:

I don't want to be specific but I am in my early thirties and she is a little above middle thirties

run from evening newspapers and old hâgs. Run for your life...

omooba969:


Reference your claim on Khadijat's age please.

And she was a Catholic/ Coptic Orthodox Christian..

A part of truth the Muslims cover up

Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

From what u wrote it’s obvious Ure not even dating her yet and u talking about popping the question. Is that how u do things??

How can u marry a stranger? because u work in thesame office doesn’t mean u know her or anything. I don’t believe this story anyway

Hotzone, I will ask you some fundamental honest questions about your relationship to give you an honest and candid advice. WhatsApp me on 08130838202...

/
Some things are better not said.

Without laying claims to clairvoyance...(let me stop here).

But sometimes letting a child touch the fire is the best way to teach him how hot it gets.

Two different motives are at work. Yours seems to be love or possibly, infatuation. What is hers? You can only find out after marriage.
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