Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

Many of us have similar problem but go ahead and be our guinea pig. Good luck and remember to keep in touch.

Idrismusty97:
Meaning she old pass you? Upon say you too don dey old. Ok. Age no be just number oh.

Dele Giwa wife was older than him. A renowned Prof of Medicine in UI wife was older than him by two years. They had wonderful marriage.

Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

Age is but a number
My guy sef marry babe wey old pass am
Your maturity will determine how things go though

The story seems like you guys already have a relationship. If you can gbensh her what's stopping you from marrying? It's better to have a high earning wife who likes you physically than one who only likes you for your wealth. Your future children will enjoy all she has to provide financially.

Fawklicant:



Perfect brother. Listen to this advice :


Position and wealth is nothing for someone with proper self esteem and confidence. But I'll advice you to tread carefully. Marriage is a different ball game. You start seeing unimaginable character never envisaged when you are in it. If everything about her is mostly perfect, bro you are being packaged. Everybody has annoying traits, it just depends on the ones you are willing to live with and tolerate. Does she respect others too or you are blind to see it's only you she respects?
Never propose to a woman because you feel pressure from her to do so. Whenever you are comfortable with it, do it. But understudy her first. Make sure she can run your home, not ruin it.
Most women can't handle power and still submit to their husbands especially in a situation where both of you work in same establishment. Conflicts will arise.
Try to know her well and her family too. Don't just rely on what she tells you. Talk is cheap.

Above all, follow the very first instinct/premonition you had about her. The first is usually right before unnecessary considerations and branding begin to becloud sense of judgement.

Finally do serious prayer before marrying her.

Guy, you love her and she loves you. You understand her and she understands you. You can accommodate your differences. Pls go ahead.
Invite me for your wedding pls

Westaslave2:
Go n marry her or hunger kills u

He is not a lazy man, he's employed.

Truth is, marriage as a whole is 4c.k.e.d up and too complicated in this our generation so because of this I have nothing to say....The best adviser here might be struggling with his own marriage...

So go on with whatever works for u

But by the way, who the 4.ck instituted that the husband must be older in a marriage in the first place??

At his age. Op is still a fuckboy. So sad.
You didn't remember her money and position when you dated this lady to the point where she feels comfortable enough to "gesture" to you about marriage.
You have intention of marriage but you didn't remember money and position.
Now it seems like it is getting to a time to actually make a decision about marriage you've suddenly become intimidated by her money and position.

I don't even think you can marry any woman op.

Any woman you marry(if you don't marry this one) if during the marriage she surpasses you in position and money. She will hear it from you.

And furthermore what kind of husband will you be when you cannot pray for your wife to be the best she can be?
You'd probably pray, let my wife excel in everything in life but let her not be greater than me Amen.


If Chimamanda talk now people will want to swallow her.

Rashduct4luv:



Stop Spreading weak and unfounded narrations. If you have nothing better to say please keep shut!

What's unfounded about his comment?

Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

Google is your friend, ask Google about it

It is very difficult to actually love in Africa. Religion, tribe, age, class, etc. always seem to lord over what two people actually feel for themselves. Sad.

Whatever she has shouldn't be a problem to you, if it isn't for her. I know a few families where the wife is the stronger financial muscle in the home. Still, they do well.

The age part might be trickier, especially if your family knows about it. But I've always believed marriage should always always be about what two people want, and not what others or the society wants.

So what do you really want? And would you still want her if she wasn't rich?

Ask yourself those questions and if the answers are affirmative, then go right ahead.

Blackfire:



Khadijat was 45... Muhammad was 25

Reference your claim on Khadijat's age please.

Rashduct4luv:


You call yourself a sarcasticGenius, yet you dwell on hearsay without authentic proof! Dont be a sarcasticMumu!

Mumus are the kind of people who try to hide notorious facts that are in plain sight.

Imagine how stupid a person has to be in trying to hide something which the whole world acknowledges.

When you're done imagining, look into a mirror and write the word "fool" on the image you find looking back at you.

Oyindidi:
Something is wrong with this kind of love. Somebody is about to be turned to a houseboy

Lol...this your mouth sef...

folly22:

Sorry, I didn't read that.

Go to Specsavers.

Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

seek advise from a marriage counselor. preferably a female marriage counselor who has been in marriage for at least 7yrs.
success

Idrismusty97:

Ohoo now I see it
If he's not comfortable with the age difference, he should let her go abi?

Joshuamilarge:
Mohammed that could not resurrect, molesting young girls and sleeping carelessly with his mother age, is that a prophet?

Show some respect please & don't forget to have your head checked.

Oponu jatijati.

FYI, I'm a xtian.

All these people advising you to marry her are not married. I am going to be blunt with you - YOU HAVE VIOLATED ALL RULES IN A RELATIONSHIP

First Violation - Never enter or prolong a relationship with a colleague. This is where you make your income. You should never mess with your income. Now not only are you dating a colleague, you are also dating a senior colleague.

Love is the last issue to consider during marriage
Never marry for love only. Conduct your due diligence properly. Married people will tell you that there are times your partner disgust you. Those times will come during marriage, you cannot escape it. Look at your in-laws, especially the mother, investigate her sisters if they are married

Power Dynamics- In marriage, whoever has the more influence and power dynamics dictates the marriage. In your case, it seems your wife has more influence. Automatically, you will never earn the respect you should. Her friends will never respect you, her family will never respect you. Possibly, your children may not respect you because she is the breadwinner. These are the things that will eat you up in that marriage. Erode your ego and make you contemplate suicide.

Women Change - You keep hearing that women change when they marry and that’s 100% FACT. They change that some don’t even know they have changed. The first change you would noticed is after child birth. Apart from the physical change, her attention would move towards the child. This is nature and normal with women. Any married man who tell you that this is when you begin to feel like a visitor in your house. Regular sex turns to routine sex and then to less sex and possibly lesser sex or no sex depending on her mood swing. I don’t know your wife’s age, but for her to consider marrying you means she is not young anymore because the average woman marry up and not down - that’s women HYPERGAMY for you. So be prepared for some physical change such as natural enlargement due to child birth which may no longer make her attractive anymore and even worse due to her age. Also, be prepared for emotional changes too. It is the emotional change that will mess you up.

Young man, if you plan on being married, you must plan on being in it for the long haul and not to venture into it. Marriage is not an exercise or a test game. The kind of woman you marry determines how far and well you would be. In your case, there are many red flags. The number one is your DOUBT and that is why you are here seeking advice. Listen to this, never marry a woman who has more influence than you - NEVER. It is better to be poor and have peace of mind in your home than to marry a rich woman - YOU WILL REGRET IT.

For those cajoling you to proceed that loves conquers all or are more materially inclined due to her wealth - let them venture into it. I have advised you as I would advised my younger brother or my son when he is ready to get married. MARRIAGE IS NOT A JOKE!!!

If what you wrote up here is true.
You have landed yourself a good wife material.



Females in position of authority generally like to lord over anything and anybody.
For her to "lower" down for you at work, she will also do same at home.

Brother, green is a go.

Hotzone:

She loves to tell me whatever I ask her. I love her because of the respect she has for me even within my office environment, even though we try to keep it professional.
I really appreciate your words.

first reasonable comment am seeing from you. You couldn't have answered it better. Thumbs up

NwaAmaikpe:



Please don't be intimidated.
It is actually scriptural.

Our great Prophet Muhammad married wealthy Khadijah who was 40-years old when he was only 25.
So unless she is wealthy, then this is stupid.

CanineOfJackal:
Victorian.she is the single paper billionaire here

Why did u call my name?

What's happening here?

Point of correction : AM MARRIED!

IamPlato:
...



Only God Know How Many Times Una don Fvck on Top Office Table...

Rashduct4luv:


You call yourself a sarcasticGenius, yet you dwell on hearsay without authentic proof! Dont be a sarcasticMumu!

Provide us with the authentic proof then.

The burden is now on you to prove otherwise.

Rubbiish:

Lol...this your mouth sef...

watin do my mouth

[quote author=Oyindidi post=71946568]Something is wrong with this kind of love. Somebody is about to be turned to a houseboy[/quote the way you said this thing ehn. It's like you've seen it happen before.

Hotzone:
Sorry if I don't mention the name of my organization but I am seriously worried and deeply in love with my female senior colleague who wants me to pop the question as soon as possible. While feeling reluctant to respond to her feelings, I am much distracted and feels intimidated with respect to her position of power and money.

If she's what u require in a wife? Then marry her. Also watch if she's humble.

For me, I can't marry a younger man nor a guy working beneath me.

Thank God I married an older successful guy, questions of she will be older than u in looks after some years won't arises. Cause he looks older already.


Anyways the choice is yours op.. Think about it carefully.

NoToPile:


Ohoo now I see it
If he's not comfortable with the age difference, he should let her go abi?

That's his choice to make. But at his age older women should be off his radar. Not only is she older, she is a colleague, and not just any colleague, a senior colleague! This would have been a wonderful love story in America but not in Naija. Let's not deceive ourselves.

@ op, this is the kind of lady I'm searching for, I'm tired of all these slay queen/chewing gum girls that has nothing to bring to the table. Maybe I have been unlucky with working class ladies. Please if you understand, love each other, I ll advice you to go ahead with the marriage.

Olifiz:

Lol u be Muslim? Surprises everywhere

He is a religious IPob Muslim

1miccza:


Let me help you Donstan

No, its someone else I was referring to