MyGeneration:
my problem is number 1 though number 2 is a little bit part of it. I am yet to meet my dream woman.

Describe her

Hector09:
the op aint working alone mine is even worst, there is a time i delete my parents number, its demonic as u said

Yours is more than worse your village people are after you and you only how can someone delete his or her parent number for no reason

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

You are not alone brother. You just love having peace of mind that's all.
But as you grow older, you will realize you need people.

Dear op, nothing! i mean nothing! do you, u are just like me, see people will disappoint you, see everyone as a suspect, dear op! In this world, you are at a military zone, so keep a military mind, nobody is your friend, that's why you, me and others, are on Nairaland just to escape reality a little. You are against the world.

rs172:






Does those friends really wanna win you

That's it, all this books (whites books) are not applicable in Africa, we are blacks with black character, they will win op for their meal ticket.

See satin me dey find
I like am badly

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

.

that's like me.

its an innate system your mind has used to protect itself from rejection and or disappointment over a long time.

its also needed for people who are business minded because business take years to build and you know what must have gone thru all that "waters".
you hear stuff like a top business person being " ruthless". he is simply taking decision with with head (in line with a principle he/she is following) rather than his heart.
you are likely to
1. keep very few friends.
2. have strong determination or persistence.
3. introverted
4. sometimes make uncommon rash decision.
5. feel untouched my happening even when people are emotional about it.
6. be a realist.

the major problem with this kind of mentality is
u hardly ask people for help and at some point in life u need help from other people.

things that can help u strike a balance.

take a vacation if possible twice a year.

2. visit a very elderly person and use that period to generate communication and help them do stuff (the opposite sex - are a man help a elderly woman). it helps u to view life more relaxed because elderly people don't rush things, are slow and patient.

3. play with kids, I possible teach them ( in school if opportunity exist). why? others who think u are cold will see a different you and an opportunity to interact may open .

all these won't take the trait from you but u become more likable and could soften a bit.

dancok:
Dear op, nothing! i mean nothing! do you, u are just like me, see people will disappoint you, see everyone as a suspect, dear op! In this world, you are at a military zone, so keep a military mind, nobody is your friend, that's why you, me and others, are on Nairaland just to escape reality a little. You are against the world.

#fact

Etizz:
Hey guy ,you have something some people are looking for but for the right reasons...


Forgetting someone quickly without any emotion attached is very good when the person don't worth you or left because he or she thinks you are not good enough,

But forgetting someone is bad when the person did not really hurt or wrong you....

So my take is, you forget those who wronged and disappoint you or those who will make your life miserable.... Don't do it to people who did not offend you

Why?

krissconnect:


Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

From my view... you need to look at how you were raised. I would say you lack love in your heart. I doubt if you were raised in a normal family.... or maybe you are the only child of your parents who showered you with whatever you wanted. You have no connection to people... no emotional connection. Should your work mate drop dead.... you may tell the boss Emeka dropped off the chair a while back....he's still laying there....slimy mouth and his eyes rolled back in his head..his colour turn to ash...I think he's dead...maybe you should check him out...I'm off to Mama Put.
If this can be you...then you are indifferent... and that's worse than being a hateful person.
I'll suggest you visit orphanages.... visit very poor areas... do some charity at schools...never mind how small.... such has a way of softening hearts of stone. Work on yourself.

MissRaine69:
It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

You are right.

Ur head too correct.
Have got the same issue tho and still ask masef if ayam normal.. U shld hit the THING for head GBAM

MissRaine69:
It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

It's simple, you're possessed. With a demon called impatience, and selfishness and apathy.

Toks2008:


I was like you too until I trained myself to be very slow in making decisions cos things are not always the way they look.

baba Toks thank God I found you. Would like to chat you up about something

It's not a problem to me at all.
Mine is that I will forget you and what you look like.
You stop me anyday and your name is forgotten.
Even their faces most times.
That's why I do warn people that think they 're close to me not to get me angry coz I may wipe off their existence from my head any minute and they become total strangers in real life to me next time we meet.
Seriously I walk away as fast as lightening. As long as you ain't money or great ideas, you ain't worth the chase to me at all.
Many ladies have scolded me for walking away right the moment they ve started falling and about to say YES.
I don't really care. I just see myself as unique.
The last person to swallow your bullshit & pretend is me. If am doing that, just know that am waiting for a good day to hit you real hard on your own face!
I have great friends and I knew how I picked them.
I believe it's high self esteem issues and 95% Nigerian ladies & gentlemen don't know how to give maximum respect to whom it's due.

As much as i try not to comment because i belong to the comments readers association, let me just give my opinion...

Op and i are birds of same feathers. Mine is even worse.
I wasn't feeling bad about it, not until i realized that i would be 26 this year and i don't have any single friend that i can invite on my wedding day (that's if I'd be able to entrust my life to any lady).
But this feelings didn't even stop me from my usual custom of clearing more than 80% of my contacts list that i was able to accommodate throughout the previous year.
as in every beginning of d year, i delete people that i feel they are not important from my list.
Between 2017/2018, I changed my line thrice.
Seriously i walk away from people like nothing ever happened.

Here's my opinion... it's a matter of priorities.
but at the same time, mine is just too much.
Don't see me as a bad person, no I'm not.
I love socializing, I love meeting people... and that's the more reason why i keep deleting.
I just can't accommodate bad energy, not even for a second.
I can't give people the privilege of making another mistake.
I cant give anyone the privilege of thinking that i can't do or survive without them.

I know i need help and that's why i have been reading the comments but i have not seen any satisfactory response.
So please bring it on!

agreeing that something is not right with ur behavior is the most important thing,

I think its somehow connected to the way you grew up?

I believe that ,you can at least first start reading books about friendship, relationship and learning to forgive...Expecially now learn to understand the 80/20 rule of friendship and relationship

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

tamethem:


What's your Zodiac symbol, I'm trying to see if the stars has anything to do with this. I'm like this too.

I'm Taurus, I'm exactly like the OP...
Though I find it really hard to start a conversation with not just strangers but with people I know. I've a very small circle of friends which I'm not really happy about, and it get worse with the opposite sex.
The only positive effect of this type of life is just that people tend to fear, respect and easily get intimidated by my presence. But deep down I am lonely and need people around to take me as I am.
especially the opposite sex....

dancok:
That's it, all this books (whites books) are not applicable in Africa, we are blacks with black character, they will win op for their meal ticket.

Lolzzzzz, Writers will want to sell there books too, all na just manipulation tools.

you are there quitting people and I am here looking for love and stability



irony of life

Jimmyo3:
I'm Taurus, I'm exactly like the OP...
Though I find it really hard to start a conversation with not just strangers but with people I know. I've a very small circle of friends which I'm not really happy about, and it get worse with the opposite sex.
The only positive effect of this type of life is just that people tend to fear, respect and easily get intimidated by my presence. But deep down I am lonely and need people around to take me as I am.
especially the opposite sex....

Our up bringing is the most reason for this kind of condition. I was brought up by a loving , Godly but strict dad. So I had fears to mingle with the opposite sex early in life, but thanks to God that ended at Form 5 of the then school system. I decided one day to break away from the shackles of Shyness and tried my very first toasting of a girl and God so good it was easy because I was good looking. Since then the confidence came on me and I began to be at ease in the midst of ladies.

Well its never too late bro. All you need to do is be ready to inconvenient yourself. Inconvenient yourself that I mean is , you and I know it won't be easy to change but since you need the change , you have to determine it by fire by force.

Anywhere you find yourself, look for something to start a conversation. Either Politics, Football, Religion, Jokes, just anything once you start it and people contribute just continue and see where it ends. Do this often. And as you do it you will find out that you are breaking away from your normal self and to start relationship with people will be easy.

Goodluck

Firstly I congratulate u 4 being among d super few. Especially in this part of d world. We humans neva really understand d true worth of anything unless we don't have it. 4rm me 2u?...u r great.
If u dare find ur way around living a normal life like uv been severaly adviced here, u will regret bitterly later in life wen u realize d possibilities and potentials uv squandered by immitatively submitting to average life.
This is how to live it, discover ur area of interest in life, (mine is politics for example), create a big dream,(one that scare u weneva it flashes ur mind), build ur life around it and ur life will become more meaningful and interesting than u dare dreamt. Such goals r neva 5 or 10 years in span, its usualy a lifetime goals, like a legacy. U r not built for average life, dnt dare ask for it again. D inconveniences it brings u now is ur price for d glory dis life can bring u if u live it rightly.
So if u like, bury ur diamond in d mud of "happy" average life or refine it in d furnace of standing up to it.
To be able to cope u need an emotional support measure, (sex, smoke or drink) wcheva works 4u. & importantly physical fitness. Believe morality at ur own peril.

3rdly, get a good wife, wen d time is right 4u, u will feel it. If u dont have a good home, u will live a crazy and unstable life. Ppu like u need a home, not a house, it will serve as ur arsenal.
Tell u how, marry a phlegmatic, I repeat, PHLEGMATIC, & again, phlegmatic. As much as ur kind love d wild and free kind of ladies bcz dey r not morally inclined just as u, dont dare marry one. If u do, wateva made her not 2give u problems will also cm back wen loss of interest sets in ur relationship, u r built 4 difficult situations shes not so she will screw u and u wud av fallen in love & u know how disastrous dat w b 4u.
Phlegs r calm(wch u want 4 ur home), dey easily let go(wch u dont), tolerant(wch u r not) & helpful(wch u r not) tho dey r value laden, but they r LOYAL. Once dey get used to u, dey can stick for life. & dey r very amenable, give dem time dey r like cameleon, slow, but will surely bcm u later. (by bcm u I mean, bcm d woman u want) I almost broke up wt my gf 2yrs ago bcz she dont dress crazy enough 4my liken. Now am grateful she didn't until we totally integrated. No matter wat she wear now, shes all mine, even tho we r not married yet.

No apologies 4 d lenght, we all know d stakes.

And lastly, dis is d best post av seen in nairaland all my life, coz it finaly brought me close to my kind. Even tho I dnt see u ppu, but d thought dat u r out dre alone means a lot. 15 years now dat av bcm conscious of myself & av neva cm across my kind, at a time I thought am a superhuman, mb angel or smtin.

As a result I dont want to loose dis opportunity, so plz lets create a forum, wasap I think coz most of us dont facebook. Our life is very complex and we learn mostly by experience coz we dont take advice or ask for help, so how abt we have a forum wre we share experiences and learn from each other. Truth is, d only persons we can talk to is either our kind or therapists. Try talk to an elder or religious ones, by d time u discover how silly dia theory sound, uw b 10 times more frustrated b4 u asked 4 help. Therapist system is not common in Nigeria either, leaving us wt Nothing but ourselves. So if u fall into this category kindly drop ur wasap number & lets create a forum wre we can have robust conversation.
08031549600
THANKS.

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

Are you a November born?

Vickwinners:


I can understand.

Most times issues like this can be caused due to past experience with people you really held onto.
They gave up on you when you needed them most and you unconsciously made up your mind not to have much expectations from people.

This makes you give up so easily on people most times because you've unconsciously believed like others they will leave one day. And being that you don't want to be seen as the victim, you give up at the slightest repetition of the pattern.

If above is the case... Then your fear is same as most people including myself. Trusting on or believing on people is a big risk... And it won't be easy to keep up with this but you can start with beginning to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Begin to convince yourself that sometimes it won't cost you anything to hang on for just a bit and give people a second chance.
I have more to write but i'll stop here for now

I love this.

Can I pm you?

Mutuwa:


Are you a November born?

common with November born? I'm November born and I behave like this

Callmeibironke:
common with November born? I'm November born and I behave like this

Wow. This makes us November born many here going by the comments I had read. Would really like to know you more,if you don’t mind?

Mutuwa:


Wow. This makes us November born many here going by the comments I had read. Would really like to know you more,if you don’t mind?

lol I have a distance friend who dislike November born. Maybe because of me.

No problem

Callmeibironke:
lol I have a distance friend who dislike November born. Maybe because of me.

No problem

Oh wow. Maybe he/she is scared of you. I think you psychologically torment he/she
Sent you a PM anyways.

Jubilancy:
you are there quitting people and I am here looking for love and stability



irony of life

Such is Life my dear..
U ganna find love soonest

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

Mehn, I wish i can be you. Anyway, don’t see it as a weakness but as a strenght. Never allow anybody, no matter how play with your emotions.

I give up easily only wen i discover d traits/characters in d person arent appealing to my desires...

Looking out to meet sum1 soon sha

This is exactly what i dream off. omo this is great, you should be happy and joyous