₦airaland Forum

Op I'lld advice that you go back to why you decided to stay committed to her in the first place. When time passes in a relationship same as marriage emotional and physical attractions may dwindle but remember in those times that it is the commitment that sustains the love and not the other way around

Valerie47:
Marry someone you love sincerely and emotionally attached to in order to avoid cheating and unhappiness in your marriage.

Money wasted, time exhausted, hearts broken. She deserves sumfin bera than emotional attachment blah blah blah. Why, dude lead her on for years. Years she would have used to find sum sweet guy who appreciates her effort.
Bro marry that lady o. She have made breath taking sacrifices for you and now, you want to stab her in the back? No way.

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

Please do not marry out of pity cos you'll regret doing that. That's all

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

/
Everything is not a problem.

Find your emotion and attach it to her or let her go.

What is the problem here?

/

EmekaBlue:
Marry her and still play outside when u feel like. Try not to get caught

spotted... hell fire candidate!!!

XaintJoel20:
She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

Don't let the devil deceive you my friend.


A word is enough for the wise.

You dont need anyone to advice you.. You've already figured out you're not emotionally attached to this person, then how are you attached to her that makes you call her your fiancee ?? It so good that you're able to realize the kind of feeling you have for her. So my brother go find who you'll be emotionally attached to and I hope and pray it last forever.
U cant build or force emotions and dem no dey sell am for jumia or olx.. but wait, are you seeing another lady??

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

From what you have posted, I believe you fell for the "wife material" scam.

Nairaland, Nigerian media and the society have created what they see as the standard qualities in a wife and when guys who don't know what they want meet this lady who fits into the societal view of wife, they think they have found Mrs right.

You think because she has all this qualities, she would make a good wife and she might actually make a good wife but the question is would she be a good wife to you?

Would you be excited going home to her at the end of each day?

isaacsegun:
spotted... hell fire candidate!!!

heaven is by force,even if its through back gate/fence

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

village people at work in your life...

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

no offense! But you sound like a gold digger

If your emotional happiness is more important than stability of the home then please don't marry her.
I have a friend who married for these reasons, and yet he is emotionally unhappy. He keeps seeking out his ex to whom he had serious emotional attachment. When he's down, need friendship and all. He seeks her out. He and his wife have a good home but they are not attached at all. seems everything he does with his wife is just out of duty not attachment.
Reminds me of Leah and Jacob. Jacob loved Rachel and even though he married Leah first and she bore him more sons, he still preferred Rachel and even loved her children more..
Save your self a life time of longing and regret.
However whatever you choose now, you will live with for the rest of your life. Don't rush into anything.

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

My guy abeg give ya sef brain oo...she is too special to be in ur life,if u dont aprc8 her now..u will end up regretin it..she has done too much for u and has build her sef alone for you...i am sure she isnt cheating on u...u are so confused,i know all u have in mind is all abt sukura or shaki with lifeless skirt..shaking dere axx with nothing to offer..u dey dey complain while oda guys know how much God has blessed u with dz woman most guy have ever prayed for..not even in dz kind of country where things get as e be...u are here saying rubish...guy u are vexing me.. emotional ko....rationally ni...u beta get ur heads straight...where ever ur mind emotion run go..go dere and get it back and start ya life..and if u insist plz let her go and dont forget to drop her number...nonsense

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

....

beg ur villagers..if seeing all this and yet you are foolish enough to let her go then village people have finally succeed on your matter...

go to village and give them their sacrifice or else..oyo lo wa oo

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

You need time to be convinced that you are not emotionally attached to her

Love grows as relationships grows

Don't be in a hurry, give yourself time to be sure you are not getting it wrong somewhere

You said her attributes are every man's dream, why not focus on it and watch things grow

Whether you will chase out after marriage is a thing of habit men formed over time

Concentrate in her potentials and score her or rate her

You can't get all in one package

Oloju kokoro ni eh. You can’t have everything and I hope you know that. And love or emotional attachment is not all you need to make a marriage work. Those emotions fade with time or they are not as strong after many years in marriage. The things that hold a marriage tight mostly are the qualities of your woman you just stated. If you like be looking for emotional connection everywhere like those useless Bollywood series. That woman there is the real deal. That woman is your prosperity. That woman is your happiness. That woman is your success. You fucking better learn to develop emotions for her right now if that’s what’s most important to you.

I know you will still cheat on her after you eventually marry her but you’ll regret it. You lose more than you are afraid of losing right now.

Cut the relationship right now if you know you’ll not be able to develop that stupid emotions you are looking for, for her.

She’ll definitely get a better person because she good.

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

Op I see you as a gold digger, you love what she can offer but you don't love her person, please let that lady go and get someone that'll truly love and appreciate her, Just because a lady has outstanding qualities doesn't mean she must be your wife , may I not fall into the hands of indecisive men like you.

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

Please send me her number I just want to discuss some business plans with her...thanks in anticipation

Let me date her pls

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

She is your wife, marry her..forget the emotional sentiments for now...things will fall in place never let such a quality pass u by.

XaintJoel20:
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

Hmmm....isn't this the bone of contention?...the root of the problem?.... the real reason for you being on the fence?.....that she is better educated? ....the fear of a better educated wife who would more likely earn a whole lot more than you?.... and in your mind the one who earns more is the one who controls the family? If you're not emotionally attached why not help her find a deserving husband?....why not?

Acetin:
OP, I have been in your shoes and I do understand how you feel.
First of all, you have to do this, take out a pen and a paper and write down the good and bad qualities of this your fiancé, then if the good things are more than the bad side then I advise you stick to this lady.
Then secondly, get to understand the things you don’t find attractive about her and discuss it with her, if she is understanding like you said, then she will truly learn.
And also try and find attractiveness in those things you feel are not attractive about her.

if he doesn't love her there's no need of subjecting her to daylight nightmares called marriage

XaintJoel20:
I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

Pls connect me with her. I swear bro I won't let her down. I promise to even b paying u monthly salary. This is what I have be in lookout for. Pls help a brother

XaintJoel20:
She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

then let her go

OK