Sarang:


And so? Is it his wife? And so? Then there shouldn’t be boundaries cos close family. Are you for real!

I obviously didn't write in Chinese. Did I in any way exonerate the man?

chronique:


I still stand by what I said up there. If you have a friend who can go to your house and send your wife to buy recharge card, then it means you have no respect for your wife. Anyways, there are levels in life and I can only try to imagine the category of people who would be sending their friends wives to go buy recharge card.

Oga I no write in Chinese or Arabic so I no understand why e dey difficult for you to grasp wetin I dey talk. I tell you say e dey right for the man to send the woman message? I get close friends wey fit go my house wait for me dey different from sending my wife message. From her story her husband even mentioned his family, that she has respect his family and friends so there's definitely more to this story. We only heard the woman's side of the story which I think might not be entirely true.

chronique:


I still stand by what I said up there. If you have a friend who can go to your house and send your wife to buy recharge card, then it means you have no respect for your wife. Anyways, there are levels in life and I can only try to imagine the category of people who would be sending their friends wives to go buy recharge card.

Oga I no write in Chinese or Arabic so I no understand why e dey difficult for you to grasp wetin I dey talk. I tell you say e dey right for the man to send the woman message? I get close friends wey fit go my house wait for me dey different from sending my wife message. From her story her husband even mentioned his family, that she has respect his family and friends so there's definitely more to this story. We only heard the woman's side of the story which I think might not be entirely true.

chronique:


I still stand by what I said up there. If you have a friend who can go to your house and send your wife to buy recharge card, then it means you have no respect for your wife. Anyways, there are levels in life and I can only try to imagine the category of people who would be sending their friends wives to go buy recharge card.

Oga I no write in Chinese or Arabic so I no understand why e dey difficult for you to grasp wetin I dey talk. I tell you say e dey right for the man to send the woman message? I get close friends wey fit go my house wait for me dey different from sending my wife message. From her story her husband even mentioned his family, that she has respect his family and friends so there's definitely more to this story. We only heard the woman's side of the story which I think might not be entirely true.
"NOBODY TELLS THE WHOLE TRUTH"

alert01:


Exactly my point. Women have innate power of destruction. They can manipulate to have their ways. Let me narrate a story here :


A friend of mine just get back to naija from the UK. He visited our best friend in h

Lol sir please, what did the husband now do?

No vex, I have wanted to ask you this for how many hours but I forgot my password

midnighter:


Lol sir please, what did the husband now do?

No vex, I have wanted to ask you this for how many hours but I forgot my password

The husband having hold claim of the truth called his friend and set up a meeting in his house without informing the wife. The guy on getting there sat down as a gentle man, and the man called his wife out, started asking her questions. As we all know too many questions betrays a liar. She failed to substantiate her early claims with enough evidences and of course later betrayed herself. When the guy was vindicated in the prescence of the husband and the wife, he left. The wife later told her husband the truth of all her infidelities afterwards. And of course you shuld know what usually ends such when the mother inlaw got to know her son's wife who has not even born any children for his son is engaging in such act. The family advised their son to find another wife

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

gay partner spotted

Assuming the story is true, it should act as a supplement to that other one where the lady used hot pepper to chase the -stupid friend away

Ladies are tolerating a lot in the name of "husbands friend" o

alert01:
The husband having hold claim of the truth called his fri

Hmm. Well thanks for completing the story Thank God your friend handled it logically

And discovered it on time! This could have been a disaster

I am not one to dole out advice to anyone especially a married couple since I am not a marriage counselor and don't profess to be one. However, I would be remiss if I do not add my two cents to this. If the facts are as you stated, then I am afraid to say that you married the wrong person. In my own opinion, a man should at least be able to know what his wife is capable of doing. So, for him to take sides without hearing your own side of the story goes to show how he feels about you and besides as a man, it is his responsibility to protect and take care of his family [wife and children] first above everything else. If he rebuffs every peace overtures you've made, then let him be. As a woman, I am sure you know how to hold your own and with time he would come around.

midnighter:


Hmm. Well thanks for completing the story Thank God your friend handled it logically

And discovered it on time! This could have been a disaster

Yeah. It really could've.

She refused to help a visitor buy recharge card. But has d strength to cook. Lies from d pit of devil she eat Apple with in Eden. Your husband deserve another wife. If na me ur papa house 4 daura na him u go dey by now. Stubborn goat contributing nothing

Madam go and apologize! I am sorry is just 3 words. E no go stain u for body and it doesn't mean you are wrong too. If u respect and love your marriage (not even your husband) you wouldn't have waited this long.

Apologies does not show weakness but strength and wisdom.

***Modified: Your apologies will calm your husband down. You will now be able to sweetly explain your side and even use women "wayo wayo" to turn his head wherever you want then. You dey struggle with man for authority? You no be "wise" woman o. You no Sabi manure your man ego....?!

You married the wrong guy. You should not apologise to his so called friend. Why would his friend come to your house and send you on errand to buy recharge card for him? Are you a house maid? If he files for divorce, I would say good riddance. You should stand your ground.

What he did was totally stupid but just do as he ask you to do. I really fell sorry for U.

poseidon12:
You married the wrong guy. You should not apologise to his so called friend. Why would his friend come to your house and send you on errand to buy recharge card for him? Are you a house maid? If he files for divorce, I would say good riddance. You should stand your ground.

"stand your ground" ehn? E good! I beg make I ask sth.... Are you married?

BookEditor:


Madam, I understand your pains. Yes things like this sometimes happen but you must be very careful.

Now let me tell you this. The devil does not like anywhere there is peace, joy and love. He will be angry and make sure he goes there to scatter that peace, love and joy that you enjoy.

This is what happened. It's not your fault. You've done the best you can do in that circumstance. But the devil wants to use your husband's friend to scatter your home, so you must be very careful and vigilant.

First, your husband's friend was wrong for even sending you on an errand and even getting angry. After all, you're not his wife. Secondly, your husband was equally wrong for listening only to one side of the story (his friend) and jumping into conclusion without hearing from you. Your husband acted very rashly, irrationally and is inconsiderate. He's supposed to respect you enough to hear from you first before taking action.

But as I said before, the devil wants to sow a seed of discord in your family to break your home. Let me tell you this: Even if you you did what you've been accused of, it still does not warrant your husband threatening divorce. Divorce is not what you pronounce anyhow. Words are very powerful and can eventually come alive if spoken carelessly.

Now this is what you must do. You must realise this problem goes beyond your husband or his friend. Go down on your knees at midnight for 3 whole days and pray sincerely - cry to God over this matter, the Lord will hear you and He will change your husband to love you more and also change his friend not to pick faults with you over any flimsy excuse. This is the only sure solution in this matter.

Meanwhile, this does not stop you from apologizing to his friend. Humble yourself and apologize even if it's clear you're right in this matter and his friend is wrong. You know why you should apologize? Because you must stoop to conquer. Remember Oliver Goldsmith's "She Stoops To Conquer"? Just stoop for them and you will surely conquer. It's very clear that these two men have ego issues and need their ego to be "massaged", so just help them massage their ego by apologizing, while you go down on your knees to tackle them with prayer. You will surely overcome. I've counseled countless couples in similar situations and those who followed the steps saw good results.

Mind you, if you apologize only without praying about it, very soon another thing will happen in your home. They will still find another flimsy fault with you that you're disrespectful again. But your prayer is a must because it keeps such things away from coming up.

Try this sincerely with faith and it will surely work. You might get in touch if you need more counseling and/or advice. Wishing you all the best. God bless you.

Best advice given here.

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

You are stupid if you ever pick your friends over your wife - stupid AF !!!

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

I should buy you a drink for this !!

Pls dm your Acct number - this is a friendly gesture , I like common sense dispensers like this

imagine the nerves... to send another man's wife on an errand. the sick man obviously has no regards for ur husband. keep massaging ur husbands ego while standing ur ground in not apologizing to that his arrogant friend.

humbly and patiently settle things with ur husband. don't let the idiot come between u and ur husband pls.

may the good Lord protect and preserve ur marriage.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

You called him your husband but he is acting like a boyfriend.... picking up fight when not necessary....I Sha don't like all this friend friend thing. This cause a lot of trouble in marriages now....some men think fighting for their wives in such case makes them weak, if he can't respect you - asking you to get recharge card for him then he doesn't have a single respect for ur husband.
Anyway, u don't need to do anything bad... kneel down and beg your husband as a responsible wife that you are....tell him to get through to his friend on fone so u can also beg him....and mind u, if u Know u are beautiful and endowed beware and stay away from such husband friend as he could lure you into some mess..if u know then u Know

Your beloved husband doesn't appear to have respect for you.
He certainly thinks little of you especially to his friends that would prompt his friend to attempt to make you his errand girl.

I feel that's your major problem. Ask people how you can get your husband to regard and respect you then you can worry about his threat of divorce.

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

Your father must be an animal

Op plz don't listen yo many advice here bcoz it can ruin your marriage most of them are single they never known what is called marriage listen to those ones telling you to apologise, it can't remove anything from your body though your husband friend was very wrong but plz save your marriage.

One, I can't even open the door for you when my husband is not around. You will knock and knock on the gate, when you are tired, you disappear.

2. What gist are we gisting when your friend is not there? Hian. Let me even keep quiet about the food. Because you will not step your thin legs inside my house in my husband's absence.

3. Send me to buy credit? It is like you are mad o. Stark, raving mad. Just that you are yet to tear your cloths and run into the market. Loooool. No be only credit, na crayfish. Loooool.

4. Apolo wetin? Are you referring to Apollo, the eye infection? He will get nada from me.

Mad people everywhere. Loool.

Perhaps the friend was trying to poison your remaining food in the kitchen ?
Why couldn't he walk out himself to go and buy recharge card? Abi his legs are not working again ni?
Even if he was your husband's boss, he should have respected himself and not be comfortable enough to stay alone in your home
He only got angry because he couldn't achieve his aim

Nairaland30:
Puxxyasslicker.
Friends over bitches mehn!!

you're stupid

Iziquiel:
I think there's more to your story. Anyways, if your story is anything to go by, I think he was wrong to have sent you on an errand in your husband's absence. It would have been okay if it was your husband that sent you to go get the call card for his friend.
I'm sorry to say this, I also think you're a disrespectful woman. I mean, you should have gone to get him what he asked for but you came up with those excuses which I don't believe just because you feel he shouldn't send you on an errand. It doesn't cost you anything to go out and buy him the recharge card.

she shouldn't have left her house with a stranger/friend alone inside. what stopped the friend from excusing himself and going to buy the card outside. OP didn't go to work due to ill health, and you expect her to be doing errand girl for one fake friend? he's lucky she even gave him food and entertained him. if she hadn't given him food, he wouldn't have had energy to be angry and walking out on her.

eyinjuege:


she shouldn't have left her house with a stranger/friend alone inside. what stopped the friend from excusing himself and going to buy the card outside. OP didn't go to work due to ill health, and you expect her to be doing errand girl for one fake friend? he's lucky she even gave him food and entertained him. if she hadn't given him food, he wouldn't have had energy to be angry and walking out on her.

I never exonerated the man in any way. Like I said, I feel there's more to this whole story, we only heard from one of the parties.

Why's ur hubby's friend asking you to buy card for him?

Are you his maid? Stupid man.

Iziquiel:

I never exonerated the man in any way. Like I said, I feel there's more to this whole story, we only heard from one of the parties.

perhaps there's more to the story, but you also said she should have gone to buy the recharge card for the man in question. That's why I quoted you, to tell you it's probably unsafe for her to do that. it has nothing to do with pride but the safety of her family.
She said she didn't go to work for health issues. That's another legitimate reason she couldn't go out and buy any recharge card and even provided alternative solution.

I don't mind if i am the only one believing that ur spouse had a pre-arranged deal wt his pal to do / pick or drop something mischievious on his behalf in ur house at that point in time. You unknowingly became a cog in their wheel of progress. They never thought u wl think of e-loading (phone top-up) & that remedied the trap set for u & shattered their plot, provoking them. Please add more attention to ur baby's security henceforth. Apologising wl be ur undoing. This flows from d tap of a victim of his ex wife; be a victor ma. Fool me once, shame on u, but fool me twice shame on me.

Good day my sister,
First and foremost, obey your husband by apologizing to the friend, not minding the pains it will cause you. It is not that you have done anything wrong (if your narration is correct anyway), but all ‘am interested in is how to keep your marriage, so let the sleeping dog lie.
Secondly; both your husband and his friend are out of their senses. The friend is a falsehood monger and a devil that is ready to cause damage in your union. And your husband is a man who cannot protect and respect you before his people. May be they have motive for that incident/action; you have to be prayerful, please.
Now, to the real issue; mind you my opinion is based on the Islamic and Yoruba cultures. I am confident that the English (British) will not tolerate such action too.
1. A Yoruba adage says "Agbejo enikan da agba osika" i.e he who does not allow fair hearing, is a bad person. Irrespective of how grievous the report he must have heard from his friend, you deserve to be given listening hear.
2. The so called friend is a rude and pompous type, if not what right has he to send another person’s (friend, neighbour etc) housewife an errand without the permission of the husband. It is a total disrespect to marriage institution for him to have asked you to buy him call card in the first instance. It is never done in Yoruba land; you cannot send another person’s wife an errand, however small she is. This, your husband refused to appreciate/understand.
3. In Islamic Shariah, if a woman’s husband is not around, he as a friend has no right to enter the house and the woman is strongly forbidden to admit him in while her husband is away. If he must stay, it has to be outside and with the consent of the husband. The same thing in some set of Yoruba Land especially the hunter clan. The friend has also violated this rule.
4. Your husband’s friend is a lair that you have to be careful with and keep praying not to cause your separation; if not why must he translate your gesture to have electronic recharge as being poor and report same to your husband.
All these notwithstanding; please as advised/stated above, obey your husband, apologize to his friend and begin to pray fervently for God’s guidance and intervention in your union knowing fully well that devils are always at work and this is one of such.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

When you angrily replied, you made a mess of the situation because you don't know what his friend told him. Sometimes, Silence is golden you could have said your mind/tell him what really happened later when tempers are down.

I advise you be extremely careful n observant because both of them are acting suspicious.