Adviseasister:


You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.

I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

1) maybe the distance is what is the cause, for the decline in communication, he may feel the relationship is leading no where to me so he decided not to continue wasting his time.
2) another reason maybe, from the beginning he may not really have any solid plans for you, he may feel maybe one day if he gets the chance to see you, he might take his part of share of you that is if you guys see, but with time he later considers that the whole stress is not worth it
3) another point is, he might have a bad view of long distance relationship, either from friends or personal experience, to him been in long distance relationship with a lady he hasn't meet for once is a big risk, what if he continues the relationship for 2/3 years and when you guys spend time together for 5/6 month he see somethings he doesn't like in you. how do you think he will tell you he is no more interested, so the best is to end it now and prevent story that touches the heart.
My point is, A GUY DOESNT JUST CHANGE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THERE IS ALWAYS S REASON, IT IS EITHER YOU ARE THE CAUSE OR HE IS, HIM TELLING YOU THE REASONS FOR HIS ACTIONS DEPEND COMPLETELY ON HIM.
NOTE:- this is just my suggestion, they might not be true and they might be true.

iammiracle1:


Bro this is no longer totally true, except for lazy shallow minded men who feel they can't work up their way in a new country patiently, a lot of so called white women or akata would show you shege, nah den you go know say 9ja ladies better pass, lesson learnt abeg

they still do..it is still common

czarina:
Spot on.

Babes get carried away with this "abroad" nonsense!

It is not about abroad!!!!! I didn't know he was abroad when we started talking!!!

I am SHERIMAN I don't believe in This Shit called DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP beginning seems to be interesting anyway. later on the middle will be getting to be bore which will later lead to break up due to some things especially barrier in communication.. You just have to Move On girl.. No time to check time

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

My only plain advice is count your loss and move on; Dont beg someone to love u cos He may even hate u.

Adviseasister:


I haven't collected money from him. He sends me flowers at work though, brightens up my day. How do I explain it to my colleagues, they were all rooting for us.

Colleagues kwa? You have started broadcasting something that wasn't sealed, you sound like a baby, very naive, cos a matured sensible girl won't go around informing ppl about her "oyinbo" not around bf, madam grow up

MissRaine69:

Who is in this relationship? The pair of you? Or you, him and your friends?
Whose opinion matters the most?
Look at it from that perspective

The two of us. I don't know how to go tell them it has crashed.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Move on!

iCauseTrouble:
Oh ye good people of Nairaland..... Should we tell her the truth?

Come on man, matters of the heart is no joke

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

I do this all the time; make females think I want them then when they get to attention needy I get bored and stop talking to them.. That's probably what you did, you got attention needy, he needs space. Let's hope he's not like me, then its just space he needs .. He'll text you back in a couple of weeks if u give him that

Adviseasister:


Thanks. It is a long distance relationship, I don't mean Lagos to Abuja, but different countries, continents. How do we see the counsellor? What do you think is wrong with him? I feel he has drifted.

better come back and fall for naija guys, the future u see is better than the footballers u DNT see

iammiracle1:

Colleagues kwa? You have started broadcasting something that wasn't sealed, you sound like a baby, very naive, cos a matured sensible girl won't go around information ppl about her "oyinbo" not around bf, madam grow up

I am 23. I didn't broadcast it, he sends flowers, sometimes lunch to my workplace, that is how they got to know.

If I say make i chook mouth for this matter now...ehnnn

First of "us" aunty...for inside this relationship wey the distance long so...who among una dey Naija and who dey yonder?

This wan go help me know wether somebody dey mistake escaping this awa next level for love or somebody just dey use nl dey while aeay time plus give some desperados false hopes.

Thank you don't mention..

Modified:

Now I understand who is located where amongst you.

Aunty abeg forget the guy make we begin reason how we go take climb that "Next Level" staircase.

That's serious

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Don't move on yet but just ignore him for good and i mean stop texting or initiating conversation him.

If after like a month he does not wake up then it means he has moved on then you can move on too. Nobody is too busy to have time for the one h/she truly desires.

Adviseasister:


It is not about abroad!!!!! I didn't know he was abroad when we started talking!!!

but immediately u knows that he is in abroad u fall for him

how do one PM here on nairaland?! All i do here is to look and qo..

You have simply become monitoring spirit, he is possibly not comfortable with that.Every man loves his privacy o....Long distance relationships is not my thing but I only keep them as friends and I think it works perfectly.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and I we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

Whenever a relationship feels one-sided, it probably is.

All these abroad love is 30-70. Some materialise into a permanent arrangement, while a vast majority fizzle out like yours has.

Aunty, move on because he has obviously lost interest in whatever you two had going on. It is painful, but you will survive. Trust me, you will meet someone else who will love, appreciate you and not take you for granted because you showed how much you adored them.

Open your eyes and look around you.

Adviseasister:
Good evening Nairalanders,

I had to create a new moniker for this, but I believe my guy will know this is for him.

Sometime last year I received a PM from a nlder. After going through his posts, I was pleased and we started talking. One thing led to another and we started a relationship. I must confess he is everything a woman wants in a man, he brought out this part of me I never knew existed and he did it so easily. We started seeing a future, I was happy.

Fast forward to February this year, I noticed a decline in communication. I complained and he blamed it on work. It continued and I had to ask what the problem is, he maintained it was work.

By March, things got worse and I have not been able to concentrate at work. I send him voice-notes and he responds hours later. I send messages and he responds with one word. I must also add he doesn't pick my calls at night anymore, but his NL profile would be seen online, though he won't comment.

I do not know what to do as I can't bring myself to love someone else as I love him. It is a long distance relationship and I do not know what to do. Is it possible he is facing challenges there and doesn't want to share?

Should I wait for him to come around or move on? Has anyone been in this situation before, how did you manage it? I feel so heartbroken.

In every long distance relationship, there is always a third party. USE YOUR BRAIN.

Adviseasister:


You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.

I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

And don't forget to feed us back...

Smh. Guy u never see

Nnaabros:
But how does one love a person they've never met?
You fell in 'love' just from his online post, texts, phone calls?

The word love has been so misused these days that it has become almost meaningless

You will be surprised how often that happens. We have a name for it in our family. The ”indomie effect” is a relationship that starts from the middle, it progresses very fast has no solid foundation yes it might stave off hunger pangs but it is not for the long term. At some point you start to notice what it lacks.

Toks2008:


Don't move on yet but just ignore him for good and i mean stop texting or initiating conversation him.

If after like a month he does not wake up then it means he has moved on then you can move on too. Nobody is too busy to have time for the one h/she truly desires.

exactly, no matter how busy we are we always create time for the ones dear to our heart.

If you have his full name and identify the first name they called him at birth

Also, His mothers name


Picture

I can use all this to help you use him for money rituals

Adviseasister:


It is not about abroad!!!!! I didn't know he was abroad when we started talking!!!

Ok, my bad. Sorry.



Make your decisions. And all the best with that.

I was expecting something more Tragically.

czarina:
"He's flirting with other females on here"



Babe, move on with your life. You have a bright future ahead of you and "abroad" isn't everything or even close to being everything.

BE SMART!

Please stop judging me harshly, it is making me sad. It was never about abroad. Maybe it was me being jealous, maybe it wasn't flirting actually. Just two people having a conversation.

Dear OP, I think you should give him time and space. Some people actually get bored easily and may start showing signs, which doesn't mean he is no longer interested.