₦airaland Forum

fyneboi79:
Very good topic here. It took me more than 35 years to realize what my mother did to me concerning my dad. I hated and abandoned the man. Now all I can do to say sorry is to beautify his graveside.

Regiomontanus:
A woman is already biased and emotional once the cunning ways of the female nature has been exposed. Reasoning with them on issues like this is like expecting to an alien spaceship in Nigeria.

bukatyne:
[s]No matter how you try to twist it, it is the responsibility of the father to ensure his children see him as he really is.[/s]

[s]If all the children have to judge his persona is the feedback from their mother, he is still a failed father.[/s]

[s]I know a father who visited his kids despite the fact that his wife left him when he lost his job.[/s]

[s]He couldn't give the kids anything yet whenever he visited, he prayed for them, re-assured them of his love and dropped one or two nuggets.[/s]

[s]Did I also mention that the wife was trying to poison the kids against their father so they had to meet outside?[/s]

[s]If you a man enough to father kids, be man enough to nurture them and stop blaming your wife for their perception of you.[/s]

[s]I know kids whose father disciplined them well yet they do not doubt his love. Some of these men were poor, others were not even good husbands so it was not like they were perfect.[/s]

nams77:
Very apt. I have chatted several single moms and they all keep saying their Ex are oafs. The last one i was chatting with was also berating the Ex until i pressed harder and she opened up that the man is abroad and pays for the boy's tuition with out fail. He pays directly to the school.

My advice to men. Try and do financial transaction online. Pay school fees and other stuffs directly from your account. That way, there is evidence.

I remembered how a lady when online a while ago berating her Ex. She cried that the man doesn't even drop a dime or cater for the kids education. The man replied by posting carefully documented copies of school fees receipts

grom:
I discovered you lack both.. Brainwashed by your mother

EXPERTS OF MANIPULATION. MARTINEZ39

FIRST, RELIGION THRIVED THROUGH WARS AND FEAR. NOW IT THRIVES BECAUSE OF MOTHERS.

YOU'RE NOT RELIGIOUS BECAUSE OF COLONIZATION. YOU'RE RELIGIOUS AND SUPERSTITIOUS BECAUSE OF YOUR MOTHER.

A MOTHER IS NOT ALWAYS 100% CORRECT. QUESTION EVERYTHING SHE TELLS YOU EVEN WHEN CRYING OUT HER EYES.

bukatyne:
No matter how you try to twist it, it is the responsibility of the father to ensure his children see him as he really is.

If all the children have to judge his persona is the feedback from their mother, he is still a failed father.

WOW. THIS MEANS THAT SINCE I WAS BORN, ALL THE FATHERS IN THE HISTORY OF FATHERHOOD ARE FAILED MEN.. BEING THAT IN ALMOST EVERY FAMILY THE CHILD IS CLOSER TO THE MOTHER THAN THE DAD.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE WOMEN ARE LOVELY WHILE MEN ARE HARSH.
IT'S BECAUSE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE NOT TOO DIFFERENT. THEY OPERATE ALMOST AT THE SAME FREQUENCY SO IT'S NOT DIFFICULT FOR THE TWO TO GET ALONG. THEY ALSO REASON SIMILARLY.

MEN ARE FAILURES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THEIR FAMILIES ARE COMFORTABLE. LOL.

Beyfit:
Women are special being and they are protector, giver, lover and home keeper.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. That's where I ve problem with most ladies. Once something doesn't go in their way,you ate seen as an enemy. They are too emotional. Just like what happened yesterday in the hotel where I lodged. Due to the fact that my room was not cleaned when I came back,I refused paying. The receptionist started shouting at me and when I wanted to entre my room she used her body to block me,if I had slapped her,they would ve said I raised my hands on a woman. I simply called her director and she was sacked immediately. All the females working there saw me as a bad person but non spoke to her when she was acting.They seems to allow emotions becloud their sense of reasoning.

CAPSLOCKED:
WOW. THIS MEANS THAT SINCE I WAS BORN, ALL THE FATHERS IN THE HISTORY OF FATHERHOOD ARE FAILED MEN.. BEING THAT IN ALMOST EVERY FAMILY THE CHILD IS CLOSER TO THE MOTHER THAN THE DAD.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE WOMEN ARE LOVELY WHILE MEN ARE HARSH.
IT'S BECAUSE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE NOT TOO DIFFERENT. THEY OPERATE ALMOST AT THE SAME FREQUENCY SO IT'S NOT DIFFICULT FOR THE TWO TO GET ALONG. THEY ALSO REASON SIMILARLY.

MEN ARE FAILURES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THEIR FAMILIES ARE COMFORTABLE. LOL.

lagosminded:
WOW so you are saying women are like children. This has descended into something else.

Regiomontanus:
Our forefathers knew about the emotional, egoistic, manipulative, deceptive and destructive power of women that's why they introduced the patriarchy. The patriarchy not only only put women in check but made society safe. Unfortunately, feminists, beta historians, Hollywood and the rest told us that our forefathers were misogynists.

The reason why women were not allowed to vote was because our forefathers knew that women are too emotional and could not make the sound logical decision especially when it didn't fit them. It was not that they hated women. Imagine if a socialist politician comes to Nigeria and gives women free stuff regularly and promises them more, who do you think women will vote for? Even if you try to explain why capitalism is better and why socialism is disastrous, they will not listen? The greatest mistake men made was to think that women are their equals intellectually and morally. Women can be moral and intelligent but not on the level of men.

Men are currently suffering from the plague called feminism. In the West, it's feminism and the gynocentric laws. This happened because men were brought up to put women on the pedestal and believe in the thing called "love". Men are worshipping women as women are manipulating the hell out of them.

CAPSLOCKED:

1. WOW. THIS MEANS THAT SINCE I WAS BORN, ALL THE FATHERS IN THE HISTORY OF FATHERHOOD ARE FAILED MEN.. BEING THAT IN ALMOST EVERY FAMILY THE CHILD IS CLOSER TO THE MOTHER THAN THE DAD.

2. IT'S NOT BECAUSE WOMEN ARE LOVELY WHILE MEN ARE HARSH.
IT'S BECAUSE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE NOT TOO DIFFERENT. THEY OPERATE ALMOST AT THE SAME FREQUENCY SO IT'S NOT DIFFICULT FOR THE TWO TO GET ALONG. THEY ALSO REASON SIMILARLY.

3. MEN ARE FAILURES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THEIR FAMILIES ARE COMFORTABLE. LOL.

Regiomontanus:
Yes, CAPSLOCKED is right. When you study how women argue and reason on many issues, they are no different from children.

JONNYSPUTE:
If we are honest here,we would ve noticed that the op was very objective in his right up.He never generalized that all women are bad neither did he say that all men are good. I think the problem here is the lack of comprehension from some of us here. Listen to this.... ...Was hanging out with my closet pal one night and suddenly he started crying. I was confused, so I asked him why he was crying and he told me a story he had never told me before. ......He said that while growing up,he hated his dad so much because their mum made them believe their father was a very bad person. He told me that his father moved out from his own personal house to a rented apartment and stayed there till he died. All these while,himself and the other siblings believed what ever their mum told them and that made him never to check on the man until he died of hbp and stroke. He told me he is crying now because he started asking questions about his dad and what he found out was terrible.The whole thing the mum told them were all lies.

Regiomontanus:
So much effort dedicated to maintaining the false narrative that the great critical thinker, Martinez39, has shattered with his wonderful and remarkable topic. Such mothers will be exposed and there is nothing you can do about it. Not even the trash you wrote will amount to anything. Hush woman!

lagosminded:
So you’ve been arguing with children since? What does that make you?

CAPSLOCKED:
WOW. THIS MEANS THAT SINCE I WAS BORN, ALL THE FATHERS IN THE HISTORY OF FATHERHOOD ARE FAILED MEN.. BEING THAT IN ALMOST EVERY FAMILY THE CHILD IS CLOSER TO THE MOTHER THAN THE DAD.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE WOMEN ARE LOVELY WHILE MEN ARE HARSH.
IT'S BECAUSE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE NOT TOO DIFFERENT. THEY OPERATE ALMOST AT THE SAME FREQUENCY SO IT'S NOT DIFFICULT FOR THE TWO TO GET ALONG. THEY ALSO REASON SIMILARLY.

MEN ARE FAILURES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THEIR FAMILIES ARE COMFORTABLE. LOL.

nams77:
Very apt. I have chatted several single moms and they all keep saying their Ex are oafs. The last one i was chatting with was also berating the Ex until i pressed harder and she opened up that the man is abroad and pays for the boy's tuition with out fail. He pays directly to the school.

My advice to men. Try and do financial transaction online. Pay school fees and other stuffs directly from your account. That way, there is evidence.

I remembered how a lady when online a while ago berating her Ex. She cried that the man doesn't even drop a dime or cater for the kids education. The man replied by posting carefully documented copies of school fees receipts

CAPSLOCKED:
YOUR FRIEND IS A SEXIST WOMAN HATER FOR CRYING ABOUT THIS AND ACCUSING HIS INNOCENT MOTHER WRONGLY.

TELL HIM I SAID THIS ON BEHALF OF NAIRALAND WOMEN.

Regiomontanus:
Lol. Seems you are not bright. Someone thinking like a child doesn't mean that such person is a child. Men love video games like children do but men are not children. I warned your mother to breastfeed and nourish you properly but she did not listen. Now, her son is a dunce while her breasts are still firm.

Regiomontanus:
Never underestimate the power of brain washing. In addition, most mothers subtly make it known to kids that "it's either your father or me."

MariaLavina:
Your comments on this thread so far makes me doubt if the write up is truly yours, instead of you to defend your posts with logical points and facts you are busy guilt ripping hiding your shallows with emojis and baseless tantrums, even Capslock did a better job defending your very own thread. Pity!


Women don't paint men bad, No they just didn't cover up their husband's misconducts from their children. If you are smart, observant and exposed has you claim to be, you will realize that husbands 'painted bad' aren't saints. Most times they exhibit characters the women use against them. Lol it's funny you think a child's mind is a GIGO kind of thing. No,! Children emulate/take in/ form their perception mostly on what they see than what they hear, The later is easily forgotten while the former lasts longer. If a woman tells her child the husband is bad and the husband acts otherwise believe me those words will have no effect. So this is a case of no smoke without fire.

You also make it sound like only a woman owns the child whatever stops the father from forming a bond with his child?But No! An average African man thinks it is a sign of weakness to express emotions and that the needs of the children is basically food clothing and shelter. Other needs should be met by the woman, it is her job.And this is the cause of the fall of African Man when it comes to getting a child's love.

So what if they aren't together? Are the fathers denied access to their children? Thing is Most Nigerian men do not care that much, to them they have enough sperm to produce another child if the wife decide to go with the children. Hardly will you see a man worry that much except if the children are grown and he has invested a lot in them.A typical Nigerian man is a deadbeat one, the ones 'painted bad' are just the unmanaged ones.

That said, You seem to forget the fact that Children who have little knowledge of their fathers or mothers seek after them mostly when they are grown.They tend to appreciate the invisible one more than the one who nurture them.They begin to ask questions, make calls , search for maps just to find the one who wasnt there.At the end no one loses , This thread no hold water jare.

lagosminded:
You realized it doesn’t look cool to call women children now you are back pedaling. Anyways, that’s why I jumped on this thread. Since you now regret doing so, you can carry on stroking your d!ck. Na for woman you get power. One day, I hope I get to see this kind of passionate responses in male dominated sections

bukatyne:
100 likes.

As in, a father is good and the mother paints him bad?

How?

Instead of them to sit up and become good fathers, they are looking for women who would do PR for them.

Regiomontanus:
Our forefathers knew about the emotional, egoistic, manipulative, deceptive and destructive power of women that's why they introduced the patriarchy. The patriarchy not only only put women in check but made society safe. Unfortunately, feminists, beta historians, Hollywood and the rest told us that our forefathers were misogynists.

The reason why women were not allowed to vote was because our forefathers knew that women are too emotional and could not make the sound logical decision especially when it didn't fit them. It was not that they hated women. Imagine if a socialist politician comes to Nigeria and gives women free stuff regularly and promises them more, who do you think women will vote for? Even if you try to explain why capitalism is better and why socialism is disastrous, they will not listen? The greatest mistake men made was to think that women are their equals intellectually and morally. Women can be moral and intelligent but not on the level of men.

Men are currently suffering from the plague called feminism. In the West, it's feminism and the gynocentric laws. This happened because men were brought up to put women on the pedestal and believe in the thing called "love". Men are worshipping women as women are manipulating the hell out of them.

larryking540:
To all the single guys out there,to every married man, to every hustler base in 9ja and outside 9ja,
pls and pls, create time for ur kids, it's very important,

I always speak from experience, I was at the backyard of my house the other day, and I noticed that my next door neighbor just had a misunderstanding with the wife and after the man left the house, the wife sat outside the house doing some hand laundry, with 2 of the kids around her, u need to see the way d lady was saying some harsh words to the kids about their father, I wouldn't want to say it, cus it was just not worth hearing such from her, I just went back into my room and I sat on my couch and reason that if this man and woman continues to have such a misunderstanding and while the wife spends more of the time with d kids, trust me, the kids will channel so much hate for their father, even thinking that their mother is the bread winner of the house, not knowing is their father ,,


So pls my fellow men out there,
always create time for your kids, call them, if u are base outside the country, do a Skype call with them,
often, if u can call them every day by evening call them because na old age matters o,
for u men who are within the country, calls check up on them via calls or chat, a 1 minutes call will go a long way in their thinking about anyone has said or told them concerning u

Speaking from experience, that's is what saved my own father that we still use to respect him till date, even though my own mother backlash at hime at his back ,a day never passes by my father doesn't drop a call on my cell phone, infact he call me pass mtn,
and dat is what I have actually used to prove my mother wrong,

I hate people that pretend,

JONNYSPUTE:
. Hahahahahahaaaaaah.These women won't kill us. My wife just called now and informed me that school is resuming tomorrow and that I should send her money for the tuition, I simply told her I ve transfered the money to the school already,she was like OK oooo. We need to step up our games bro.Before she starts telling the kids I'm a useless man,always travelling. Lol

LOL.. WHENEVER YOU'RE AROUND BUY THEM TOYS. PRETEND YOU ENJOY PLAYING IN SAND WITH THEM IF IT'LL MAKE THE KIDS HAPPY. BUY THEM THINGS. DON'T SEND THEIR MOM OH, ONCE SHE GETS THINGS FOR THEM WITH YOUR MONEY AND DIRECTIONS SHE CLAIMS TO BE THE PROVIDER.. AND SHE WILL EMPHASIZE ON HOW MUCH SHE SUFFERED TO BE ABLE TO RAISE MONEY TO BUY IT. WHERE AS YOU PAID FOR IT.

YOU MIGHT GIVE YOUR ALL TO YOUR FAMILY, BUT TOMORROW.. THE KIDS WON'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE THEIR MUM SPOKE HARSHLY ABOUT YOU AFTER A QUARREL ABOUT THE RANDOM MEN SHE SPENDS TIME CHATTING WITH ON FACEBOOK.

Regiomontanus:
Another usual but ineffective tactic : woman supporting and tagging each other in their echo chamber. As long as men have woken up, you all can rot in your echo chamber.

MariaLavina:
Women don't paint men bad, No they just didn't cover up their husband's misconducts from their children

If you are smart, observant and exposed has you claim to be, you will realize that husbands 'painted bad' aren't saints

Most times they exhibit characters the women use against them.

Lol it's funny you think a child's mind is a GIGO kind of thing. No,! Children emulate/take in/ form their perception mostly on what they see than what they hear, The later is easily forgotten while the former lasts longer. If a woman tells her child the husband is bad and the husband acts otherwise believe me those words will have no effect. So this is a case of no smoke without fire.

You also make it sound like only a woman owns the child whatever stops the father from forming a bond with his child?But No! An average African man thinks it is a sign of weakness to express emotions and that the needs of the children is basically food clothing and shelter. Other needs should be met by the woman, it is her job.And this is the cause of the fall of African Man when it comes to getting a child's love.

So what if they aren't together? Are the fathers denied access to their children? Thing is Most Nigerian men do not care that much, to them they have enough sperm to produce another child if the wife decide to go with the children. Hardly will you see a man worry that much except if the children are grown and he has invested a lot in them.A typical Nigerian man is a deadbeat one, the ones 'painted bad' are just the unmanaged ones.

That said, You seem to forget the fact that Children who have little knowledge of their fathers or mothers seek after them mostly when they are grown.They tend to appreciate the invisible one more than the one who nurture them.They begin to ask questions, make calls , search for maps just to find the one who wasnt there.At the end no one loses , This thread no hold water jare.

CAPSLOCKED:
LOL.. WHENEVER YOU'RE AROUND BUY THEM TOYS. PRETEND YOU ENJOY PLAYING IN SAND WITH THEM IF IT'LL MAKE THE KIDS HAPPY. BUY THEM THINGS. DON'T SEND THEIR MOM OH, ONCE SHE GETS THINGS FOR THEM WITH YOUR MONEY AND DIRECTIONS SHE CLAIMS TO BE THE PROVIDER

YOU MIGHT GIVE YOUR ALL TO YOUR FAMILY, BUT TOMORROW.. THE KIDS WON'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE THEIR MUM SPOKE HARSHLY ABOUT YOU AFTER A QUARREL ABOUT THE RANDOM MEN SHE SPENDS TIME CHATTING WITH ON FACEBOOK.

JONNYSPUTE:
. I stopped taking most of the females here serious the day a video of a lady sucking the dick of a 6months old boy surfaced. Non of them commented on that thread until a female mod brought down the thread. Abeg forget these women with their hypocrisy and double standard.

hopefulLandlord:
You asked for a logical counter so I'd bite


This started playing off on the wrong foot as you've generalised.

There are women that paint men bad. there are women that would conjur nonexistent misconducts, claim the father did it to their children then repeat it again and again from time to time till the child believes it. Do women like this exist? if your answer is yes then you have to admit your starting statement is wrong. OP didn't generalise. he spoke about such women alone.

Nobody is a saint. we all have our flaws and insecurities. we fall short in certain good qualities and excel in some bad ones. if the only way a man can fall short of being "deadbeat dad" is being perfect then you would be correct in labelling all father's deadbeat. I want to believe you're much lore intelligent than that

@bolded You shot yourself here Madam those "Other Times" is what OP is referring to and the bolded shows you didn't take your time to read and/or understand the OP before rushing to reply. an understandable mistake but a horrible one

I do not know if the first part is true but you seem not to know how brainwashing affects a child. there's a reason statistics show children usually take up the religion of their parents and die as one. Humans tend to build trust for certain people especially people who are close to them so a child who's mother keeps talking about how bad his father is would start believing it, if he believes it strongly enough then any act of benevolence from the father would be interpreted by such a child to be the father pretending to care. many Humans tend to believe first then search for evidence that fits those belief while discarding those that don't. This is how propaganda works on the human brain
https://www.wired.com/2017/02/dont-believe-lies-just-people-repeat/

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161026-how-liars-create-the-illusion-of-truth



There are instances where the woman makes it very hard/impossible for the man to bond with the child. take a look at this story by starboytwo www.nairaland.com/post/82020500


this again showed you didn't take your time to read OP


Starboytwo's story disagrees