izzou:


But she was an option.... His first paragraph said it.

He wouldn't have married her if he had the chance of getting an "under 25". He married her because he needed to acquire something fast. That's his reason, according to him

I don't want to talk much about this matter. I feel for them. The Op sounds honest, and the lady is just unfortunate. I pray God touches her to forget

missjo:

I will borrow one of LordKO's most repeated word here and that is CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.
It is not everything we feel we ought to reveal but now that he has revealed it,he ought to do all he can to reverse the situation by working her back. It seems manipulative but it is what it is. This is his wife and God will not do for humans what humans can do for themselves.

LilMissFavvy:
You are 100percent wrong. The woman might have forgiven her, but those words has left a wound in her heart. When the people we love say horrible things that breaks the heart it can hurt badly, even after forgiving the person.

iPrevail:


Listen, I've had firsthand experiences. I've said horrible things to my gf and she's said unbelievable things to me as well... All in moments of anger. My mum has said things she should never say to me before, she was very angry. But beyond all of these, I know these people love me because they've proved that.. And I love them as well. One moment of unwholesomness is not enough to wreck a relationship, not to talk of a marriage.
So her husband got angry and said bad things to her, what is the best thing for her to do? Sulk over it all year?

theButterfly:
You should be empathetic to her b/c the things he said were too much /incredibly hurtful, and shows he doesn't love her that much.

How would you feel if your own so-called spouse tells you

1. You were never who they wanted to marry
2. You weren't their specs
3. You were/are too old for them
4. If someone younger was available you wouldn't have blinked twice before marrying them

She is never going to forget these words and it's going to affect their marriage henceforth. He shouldn't have married her if these were his feelings going into the marriage. Anger typically exposes hidden feelings / things you've been bottling up, so I do believe he meant them.

iPrevail:


Listen, I've had firsthand experiences. I've said horrible things to my gf and she's said unbelievable things to me as well... All in moments of anger. My mum has said things she should never say to me before, she was very angry. But beyond all of these, I know these people love me because they've proved that.. And I love them as well. One moment of unwholesomness is not enough to wreck a relationship, not to talk of a marriage.
So her husband got angry and said bad things to her, what is the best thing for her to do? Sulk over it all year?

LilMissFavvy:
Some people cannot just heal. Not everyone can heal. You asked if she should sulk all year, left for the lady to answer, but many adults know that words of mouth has destroyed even the best of relationships and marriages.

omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally but when you cross boundaries she can decide to unlove you with the same energy.
Men can often be insensitive through their actions but when you say it to their face then it's a confirmation of what you have been thinking. Never get to this point with a woman who genuinely loves you. That being said
You have to keep trying...
When she leaves you alone in the sitting room go and meet her. Gist with her.
Take her out on dates
Surprise her
You have to do things like you are just asking her out all over again.
Over one of your dates tell her you are sorry and would love to be the love of her life once again. Pls let it show that you are truly remorseful.

She will forgive you only you might have to reassure her over and over again.

Note: watch what you say henceforth .

Goodluck!

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person, after saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back, I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person, after saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back, I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person, after saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back, I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

UjuJoan2:
Jeeeez, I need tips from your wife oh, to be able to put these men in check. Chai, she's an expert at passive aggressive behaviour, I Duff my hat for her . . . Much respect.

That being said, you deserve all she is doing to you, and more. You are even lucky she's still allowing you touch her sef (of course she may be doing that just to get pregnant, and then shut you out completely )

THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU JUST NEVER SAY!

You me need to understand that you are not doing women a favour by marrying them. It is actually the other way round. When you consider the sacrifices a woman has to make in the name of marriage, then every man should wake up every morning and thank his wife for marrying him. And this is no joke

This mumu man married a GOOD woman, and had the guys to insult her over her age, only 31. And I bet you are even even older than her, yet you think you are somehow a catch for her, because she is 31? What foolishness.

Truly, I can't even wrap my head around it.

If my husband ever said something like that to me, I don't even know how I will react. Truly.

Spec ni, specs ko.

I just pray you don't deceive her again into forgiving you and falling for you again. Because for you to have made such a statement, you don't DESERVE her love, at all. And you probably never will.

This so sad!

Zielle:
What did u expect after what u said? You hv the same mentality as CalgaryFriend. "She's perfect" but you had to tear her down with ur gutter mouth, mtchew

healthserve:



Been a while. Anyways a different moniker

Na wa o. You still have the words of CalgaryFriend so fresh in your mind? Anyway , that man, na man wey sabi. He's mouthed just like you Zielle.

healthserve:



Been a while. Anyways a different moniker

Na wa o. You still have the words of CalgaryFriend so fresh in your mind? Anyway , that man, na man wey sabi. He's mouthed just like you Zielle.

calgaryFriend:

Zielle is a tough woman. But she fine sha o, from her pictures that I have seen , she try and she get correct brain too.

Yes I am patronising her, allow me.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of e loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Zielle:
Is this CalgaryFriend? . Yes, I'm still upset with ur words, along with ur mentality . You and ur plethora of monikers, why?

calgaryFriend:

Zielle is a tough woman. But she fine sha o, from her pictures that I have seen , she try and she get correct brain too.

Yes I am patronising her, allow me.

iPrevail:


Listen, I've had firsthand experiences. I've said horrible things to my gf and she's said unbelievable things to me as well... All in moments of anger. My mum has said things she should never say to me before, she was very angry. But beyond all of these, I know these people love me because they've proved that.. And I love them as well. One moment of unwholesomness is not enough to wreck a relationship, not to talk of a marriage.
So her husband got angry and said bad things to her, what is the best thing for her to do? Sulk over it all year?