I will not let any woman play with my situation/head/emotion for any reason.


I can't put myself under any unnecessary pressure cos of one woman whom I'm not sure would be a good wife to me.


u can't control me to come to you wherever you are just to retain our relationship. never!


I am the man. I would discuss with you what I want, we should then work towards making it work for both of us.



I won't let any woman toy with my manbeing. no woman will.






OP, be a man.

Op after going through all the comments above, I would have reasonably concluded that you have had enough advice to make you take charge of the situation at hand. But for emphasis sake, I will also add my little voice.
l am not going to doubt the fact that your girl loves you and want the best for you and her.But first, she is doing it the wrong way by placing an ultimatum on the matter, this simply means that the future is bleak if you eventually marry her as she will be the final say in the house. If you ask me, at this point I will simply break up with her. Secondly,any decision taken under duress has 90% possibility of counting against you in the future. Again, I don't see Abuja having job opportunities like Lagos except by serious connection and God's devine grace. And for her to say she will never come Lagos no matter what, hhhhmmm.You are dating a commander-in-chief .
In conclusion, that girl is not a wife material. So forget her and focus on your life.

aralc:


My guy same thing happened to my cousin, he died on his way. Car accident he was the only one that died. My advice @op is this "a reasonable girlfriend will always be considerate, so if she don't wanna be with you because of this her irrational reasoning then free her. It is only in Nigeria a boyfriend will have more responsibilities, problem and stress than a married man with 4 kids. You are too young to face this mental stress. No go get BP for woman o

Is this the advice he's asking for?

U may not like how this affair will end. She seems to be ahead of you, u need time to fix your self,don't run at her pace,run at your pace. Tomorrow she will/ may see a ready made guy and ditch you. She will soon be detective. Allow her . Mid 20s ? Please talk about marriage at 30 when you are sure you will be in control of a girl not the other way. Give her space.

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

This is a serious matter that needs to be handled wisely.
Rationally speaking, you need to be sure of the kinda strings she's tryna pull on you, like, does she have a surprise job, accomodation for you in Abuja? Kindly, ask her those questions.

Secondly, hope she is not the kinda girl that will want to be the man in her relationship simply because she's been the "financial pillar" in the relationship right from school days. Hence, will want to make decisions for you not minding if you're comfortable with it or not thereby leaving you optionless and without choice.

Her motive for you might be right but she shouldn't be pushy about it. And forcing you to do it under duress!!

My brother, you are a man and whatever you accept in your relationship you should be ready to accept it forever (that's if you guys end up together).

You are at a point in your life where you need to evaluate your decisions critically before you choose and when you eventually go for a particular option, you do it intentionally and not out of compulsion from a girlfriend/Lover/Friend/Family member and so on. Mind you, I'm not saying all the aforementioned cannot advise but las las the decision is solely for you to make. Any decision you make at this point imn your life will definitely have a turn on you tomorrow!

Lastly, I will submit by this pidgin phrase that says: "Na Sleep We Dey Use No How Death Be!!!"

[quote author=gideonite98 post=82800860][/quote]

Na d 2 u know u dey talk oo, if u sell one land or house for abj, ur life Don set, and it happens on a daily, plus there are businesses and other side hustles available in abj,

OGA Mr poster some people never eat since morning. Na relationship matter u wan come take disturb us . Your own better Sha .. Na person wey chop Belle full dey worry him self on top woman matter ..

Kpekus giving us problem since Adam and Eve era

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

You can play by her rules to save your relationship.

B U U T T T!!

Expect more instructions and deadlines after marriage!!

Rule number one in life-The best thing you can be in life is yourself,being yourself Rule number 2-always avoid see finish.......3.chase success,accomplishments,happiness and peace within when you acquire all these qualities and you have such state of my mind...you can then attract the good things of life with it which includes money and material possessions,women and love,fun relaxation and pleasure...!!This is my piece don’t relocate to Abj cos of your gfs threat or condition or whatever you may call it....relocate and move on if you can see loads of positives and your heart,your body and soul is unison your spirit goes with it....don’t go with the mindset or go empty handed in a nutshell if you don’t have enough resources to sustain for a short term never consider it we humans can be very fickle and you don’t wanna tske a very bold and daring step in the hope of living on your gf’s goodwill....unless you’re a leech or you lack self esteem have some dignity and self respect man!

medd422:
Pack Ur bags, and face Abuja immediately, that's Ur woman , don't loose her. When u get there, things will sort itself out. Trust me
If u stay back in Lagos and hustle d hustle and finally make it, there's no assurance that u will ever meet a woman that will love u for u anymore. Most girls are leeches now. They will suck u dry

Till see finish enter because e no get work or money den break up set, love no be everything ooo

This is a very serious matter but for some reason this song keeps ringing in my head..."It ain't nothing to cut that bitc# off"

Mensah007:
NB: She has already broken up with me and insists that my moving over is the only thing that can change her mind. She wants d best for us nd has been supportive of me throughout our uni days and is a very good girl. She is really really serious abt this.

I know u love her and she loves u bt she’s being unreasonable and I hate that. Such attitude can get one in trouble for no reason. Are u going to redeploy urself by urself? If she can’t be patient she’s not serious or worth it. If the case was reversed will u do same thing to her? How will she take it?

I’m tired of gals making unreasonable demands pls. That is not how love works.

I wud rather she breaks up than put myself and future in jeopardy.

Aurielfinizu:


U be mumu...

Pray make Buhari give u job 1st..

U never hear say after nysc and job u settle down marry your mother 1st.. I mean take good care of that woman who suffered for u..

U are here talking of stupid dirty girl who won't allow u take care of your old woman

As in d guy mumu no be small!

It's clearly obvious that the dominant bîtch is the MAN in the relationship.

This love is already a set up for disaster in the future.

The foolish love go soon clear for e eyes when e go Abuja become errand boy.

I don't know who is raising these boys to be stupid , lately.

Except your papa na Dangote or you have already earned millions before finishing your NYSC, no struggling guy has business dating a lady of almost the same age, because the lady is due for marriage and has options.

All that is left for you, is to hustle and if she is not patient to stay, she can move on. Too many pûssies around.

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

tell her you want to show her something for show her i lagos........when she comes i will tell what to tell her next, kkeep calm she not leaving you .

What So she can't wait a few measly months until it's over?

Aghotaro m akuko nke a oh

She gave you a deadline to come there and be doing what exactly...? Does she have a job for you there?

Imagine passing through all the rubbish from lecturers and all the insults from police and nysc staff, just for somebody from your own graduating class to be giving you one kind frog jump command and condition

Anyway just try moving to that Abuja, let me see

Guest007:
In life there's only so much you could do... If its impossible for you to join her then you can't join her. You have tried your hardest but you Must prioritise your future above any relationship. You have to do service, you need accommodation...

The only option I see is you forsaking your future for this relationship and that doesn't sound healthy or right.

I think you should call her bluff and let her know that you have tried and you have no options. If she wants to end the relationship over this then you will have to live with that.

I'm thinking she doesn't believe that you are trying so she's putting pressure on you to make you move. But, she needs to understand that you have tried and that the ball is in her court now.

If she truly loves you, trust me, she will come back, and if she doesn't then she had a better option and opportunity for herself and there's not much you could do about that.

true, what would be would be my guy don't rush ur sef because of the fact that u love her if she wants to break up let the words come out of her mouth but before then make yourself clear n let her know she doesn't have to go to that length of giving you a deadline plus you need some time to figure out things for yourself at your own pace

if she can't wait brother don't use ur own to hold her back or rush your life because of love so u won't leave for abj after sometime come back disappointed to start over again in lag

besides like a guy asked when last did u f...k her she is surely missing you take some time out to pay her a visit find cheap hotel at most 4k a night two days is OK then back to lag to continue ur life who knows she might change her mind when you explain things to her over there plus it would be better if you explain things to her face to face rather than explaining over a phone call

Oluromantic:

Dis matter confuse me, let me wait for my forefathers.

When last did you Bleep make Love to her? She's missing your sugar cane

She Loves you and believe me, girls willing to invest in a guy are rare these days... Most dey find already made

Go to Abj and do the needful, spend some days with her and make her see reason... Then do what's best for your PERSONAL development.

That woman Loves you.

Born2winnx:



Guy your a weakling..

You never marry woman yet she don de control you..

When you Marry her how it go be.

U are a big slowpoke
Fool..


How wish I be your elder brother I go Beat you die for this shit

Sometimes I wonder how a dude will be so goddamn stupid. Claiming you are in love with a girl when you barely stand your ground.
Carry girl matter for head.

cenaman:
OP answer me, where in abuja is ur babe?

She stays in Gwarimpa. Y do u ask pls

lilmax:
She recently became more aggressive about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her.



Don't go, all I see is DANGER

Break up with her immediately

I'm with you on this one.

Mensah007:
NB: She has already broken up with me and insists that my moving over is the only thing that can change her mind. She wants d best for us nd has been supportive of me throughout our uni days and is a very good girl. She is really really serious abt this.


lalasticala , mynd44 , ishilove, , farano , Rocktation mods pls move to FP

my man, don't let a lady manipulae your course in life, they can't be trusted no matter how you think she loves u. Their Brain fluctuate like glo network, if u relocate to Abuja u might end up regreting u ever did. You've started your life here in Lagos, things will get better for u as time goes on I strongly believe. Her love for u is conditional, I repeat, it's conditional...

Such love don't last long , at the end she's still gonna fine a reason to break up with you. That's when you'll regret your actions.

God bless your hustle. Piece..... (voice of God)

What is in Abuja?
Do not move even if you have the money.

Put a price on yourself. If she cherishes and loves you, she will come for what is hers. If she actually has that belief.

Else; my guy"signout"

Best of luck

Lagos has more opportunities than Abuja. I have been to the two places. It is easier to grow a hustle in Lagos too.

My point: intensify your efforts. Better still, learn a digital skill, it can pay you more than you think.

Reason with her, talk things over with her and present your points and concerns. If she still insists....

Pray and follow your heart.

You can still reassure of your commitment to making it work.


Do not put yourself under unnecessary pressure. Nothing gets better in a day. As far as your mindset is positive enough, you can make it anywhere.

Mensah007:


haa, abeg i need advise pls.

Bruv, don’t sweat. There are a lot of things ahead. Your break through may come sooner than you think. Oga leave woman hustle.

Jaybnjamin:






Sometimes I wonder how a dude will be so goddamn stupid. Claiming you are in love with a girl when you barely stand your ground.
Carry girl matter for head.

i swear, God forbid I let a woman control my destiny. He's gonna regret going there if he tries it

AstroG:
This matter confuse me..

Lemme wait for the elders

lmao! Savage.