Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

based on these Info you provided, she doesn't have your best interest at heart. I know you are in love, but there are millions of women out there. Hustle and be successful, forget her, and you will find that in the future when you look back at this time, you will laugh, and be grateful that you didn't live for life for an unreasonable woman.

This advice is coming from my personal experience.

Goodluck

Op I'm a lady but I don't think the condition she's giving you is right. She's only trying to play safe. The reason she's giving you a condition is to measure your stance with who she's thinking about already.
Your coming to Abuja will be the only reason she'll choose you above her incoming guy. I've done this before yea and I know just exactly what is playing out. She has broken up with you already, move on, get yourself together, forget whatever kindness she must have shown you in the past. Try to make her reason along with you and if she doesn't just call the bluff.
Get yourself together and make a better life for yourself. She's only being selfish, even if if you go to Abuja you'll just end up being frustrated as she doesnt have feelings for you anymore. She's only trying to see if your being around her can rekindle whatever you guys shared in the past.
I might not be absolutely right but I'm sure you'll definitely have something to learn from my contribution. Daalu �

Bros calm down, make your woman shill, once once enta Abuja go visit her then use the opportunity adventure for job, Putting pressure on you makes no damn sense. Baba calm down plan your life, Las las u go de alright whether she still de yur life or not... Abuja nor be place to enta without proper strategy/plan on ground... Jettison pressure for now, this stage of your life is very delicate

Kaycee54321:
When last did you Bleep make Love to her? She's missing your sugar cane

She Loves you and believe me, girls willing to invest in a guy are rare these days... Most dey find already made

Go to Abj and do the needful, spend some days with her and make her see reason... Then do what's best for your PERSONAL development.

That woman Loves you.

seriously she is a really good person unlike some of our sisters we are not related to they can't be trusted

Just one advice for you lil bro. Forget about that girl. Stay back in Lagos and hustle. She is sex starved she wants you to be close enough to to her so that she can be getting the cassava on a regular. She used you in school and wants to continue thereafter. cassava is scarce in abuja. I bet yours is circumcised majority of Abuja cassava are uncircumsied. by the way you didn't tell us how long you guys have been fucking?

She might be under serious pressure from other suitors, hence her insistence that you relocate so that you could ward off intruders.

I will advice you go there even if it's for a week to survey and see how likely you will be able to relocate.

You may loose her if you don't take action soonest.

Born2winnx:


Obob you nor know the way the thing pain me for body.


Read him write up na


Him papa and mama when suffer train am go school de there.. Him never reason make I try hustle straight.. Take care of them

Na to run follow Toto him de think about

CRaze boy


If I be elder brother I repeat I go beat am die.

This guy noe get sense at all

egbon no vex, she is aware of my parents condition too and is using it to blast me on d need to make money immediately and help them. Bottom line is that she wants to make money asap. She feels I'm wasting away in Lagos nd shud go over to abuja asap, not minding the nysc situation

King44:
seriously she is a really good person unlike some of our sisters we are not related to they can't be trusted

Yeah, that's what the op has failed to realize. If the girl doesn't care about him, she won't need to be begging him to come to Abj. She'll simply be getting her engine oiled from them Abj Niggas and be satisfying the op with video call and sweet text. The woman has his interest at heart though the ultimatum and threats na based on how the guy keep body for the relationship before.

My brother listen to me and listen good. You will not risk your life and safety over a girl that is not yet your wife. It is not compulsory that you will make it in Abuja even if you go there. My advice to you is simple; since she has broken up with you over this matter, stay back in Lagos and continue trying your best. I am sure you will make it.

ocheejeh:
Bros calm down, make your woman shill, once once enta Abuja go visit her then use the opportunity adventure for job, Putting pressure on you makes no damn sense. Baba calm down plan your life, Las las u go de alright whether she still de yur life or not... Abuja nor be place to enta without proper strategy/plan on ground... Jettison pressure for now, this stage of your life is very delicate

JUST[b][/b] CALM[b][/b] DOWN[b][/b]
If you follow woman around with no strategic plan of your life, she go frustrate your life eehn you go consider SNIPER.

Mensah007:


egbon no vex, she is aware of my parents condition too and is using it to blast me on d need to make money immediately and help them. Bottom line is that she wants to make money asap. She feels I'm wasting away in Lagos nd shud go over to abuja asap, not minding the nysc situation

O Boy. Go Abj for some days. After una finish praise and worship, sit her down and explain stuff to her. That Lady na wife material. Make una plan una way logically and decide the best thing to do for yourselves... Give her ur reasons and listen to her own too


Good girls no dey oh. If you enter slay mama hand, my brother you go swallow red pill tire.

Theres no big deal here, She misses you thats why shes acting up, Just let her know you will find way to relocate, but for now She should give you lil time,
while you sought yourself out, Use the deployment money to make necessary travel arrangement and make plan to see her in abuja soonest, for short stay 5-10 day so that you can both reason it together.

buy her time, Let her you ve enrol for additional/optional training in lagos. Let her see reason with you and stop complaining to her about the bad situation of things in Lagos. Infact tell her you are doing fine. If indeed you want lagos to be your home instead of Abj.

The Choice is yours

..

Peterosky:
Op after going through all the comments above, I would have reasonably concluded that you have had enough advice to make you take charge of the situation at hand. But for emphasis sake, I will also add my little voice.
l am not going to doubt the fact that your girl loves you and want the best for you and her.But first, she is doing it the wrong way by placing an ultimatum on the matter, this simply means that the future is bleak if you eventually marry her as she will be the final say in the house. If you ask me, at this point I will simply break up with her. Secondly,any decision taken under duress has 90% possibility of counting against you in the future. Again, I don't see Abuja having job opportunities like Lagos except by serious connection and God's devine grace. And for her to say she will never come Lagos no matter what, hhhhmmm.You are dating a commander-in-chief .
In conclusion, that girl is not a wife material. So forget her and focus on your life.

did she say she would not come to abj no matter what I didn't pay attention to dat part

my guy move on and figure out your life if it would take time it should don't take a decision that would waste your time n life, if she is meant for you she would reason with u

Guy, my question is, " has she prepared a place where you would stay as long as it requires for you to get job and also made plans for your welfare?

If no, my brother her talk and agitations are just empty. Hence, you need to make decisions as a man too. If she breaks up bcus you tow the rational part of staying back, then she was not yours from the onset. My guy shine your eyes oh

kowema:



I'm here wondering how Abuja is more lucrative than Lagos.
The most available job in Abj in Civil service job. You can say Abuja is a lot more peaceful, but definitely not more lucrative.

You nailed it.

if she is the husband, then go, but if you are the husband, give her your stand if she disagreed, brake-up immediately.
use your head

Kaycee54321:



O Boy. Go Abj for some days. After una finish praise and worship, sit her down and explain stuff to her. That Lady na wife material. Make una plan una way logically and decide the best thing to do for yourselves... Give her ur reasons and listen to her own too


Good girls no dey oh. If you enter slay mama hand, my brother you go swallow red pill tire.

kikikikiki if e enter their hand na iPhone 11 + he go use that him money wey him dey save buy las las

How is Abuja lucrative more than Lagos? Op receive sense

Mensah007:


egbon no vex, she is aware of my parents condition too and is using it to blast me on d need to make money immediately and help them. Bottom line is that she wants to make money asap. She feels I'm wasting away in Lagos nd shud go over to abuja asap, not minding the nysc situation

Guy from your post and write up..

You sound like a baby crying for nothing

No sense at all.
For you to even come here put it on the internet
I feel ashamed for you..

You not worth to be created as a man.....

If your mother see this post she be ashamed of you..

If father see this post he will weep bitterly



This not even your wife

Your girlfriend blackmailing you to come to abj or she dumps your assx


That Lagos when you de..jobs buku pass abj

King44:
kikikikiki if e enter their hand na iPhone 11 + he go use that him money wey him dey save buy las las

I dey tell you

He see Lady wey dey motivate am, he dey complain.

Mshad662:


Get ready this night by 3:am

Lmao , your foolery is legendary , 3am naija time or yankee time or Dubai time ? Does your juju know time difference ? We have to be in sync for this to work lmao , ode

Kaycee54321:



I dey tell you

He see Lady wey dey motivate am, he dey complain.

but if he go abj no get connection, no know anybody no know how he go run him life there I am sorry nahin be hin be him last name

the worse scenario he gets there try to hustle is way out over some time the girl gets a well paying job and a guy who is showering her with love las las she dumps him then he comes back to lag to pick up the pieces of his life or keep struggling over there then story ends

what he has been trying to avoid still happens
the girl still wins he loses

Bros... Don't go anywhere. She has already broke up with you. She just want a reason so she won't feel bad.


Hear my advice. Hear am.

Mensah007:
NB: She has already broken up with me and insists that my moving over is the only thing that can change her mind. She wants d best for us nd has been supportive of me throughout our uni days and is a very good girl. She is really really serious abt this.


lalasticala , mynd44 , ishilove, , farano , Rocktation mods pls move to FP

See the way a grown man is whining and bitching because he couldn't meet the target his 'master' gave him.

Chai, what a generation of weak and sissified men I have been born into.

At least, there are still few men like me to feed these weak men gallons of guts and balls

King44:
but if he go abj no get connection, no know anybody no know how he go run him life there I am sorry nahin be hin be him last name

Na Wetin make I suggest make he go reason the babe wella. Lag get opportunities as a hustler pass Abj. The guy dey sound like person wey no get liver sha...He dey complain for nairaland untop good girl, if he come jam Karishika, I wonder Wetin he go do

Mensah007:


bros I confuse pass you, i don't want to lose her but I want to be rational too

Put your confusions together, my own confusion is way bigger...

Abeg she go give you job for Abuja?.

Bro i met someone like that who insisted i was wasting my time serving, then i didn't even wanna be seen in Abuja cos i just wanted to be out of reach from my peeps...las las you will survive..

She may be right, Abuja is more lucrative but then if she can get her people to get you a job then by all means, mind you if after few months in Abuja and you still can't secure any reasonable thing she will/might ditch you and even say you are lazy..so save yourself the dignity, no leave, no transfer, infact since she has offered to pay the 50k collect it add 30k buy your laptop..afterall she has broken up with you, i am just saying oh, just do what your mind tells you.

Mensah007:


She stays in Gwarimpa. Y do u ask pls

will she allow u to stay in kado for some time before looking for an apartment, if yes i can ask a friend if he can accomodate u for the main time. NB: KADO is like AJ in lagos.

Kaycee54321:


Na Wetin make I suggest make he go reason the babe wella. Lag get opportunities as a hustler pass Abj. The guy dey sound like person wey no get liver sha...He dey complain for nairaland untop good girl, if he come jam Karishika, I wonder Wetin he go do

sniper loading....

what if this madam is pregnant and wants to lay it on ya
Me I am just thinking ooo

That ur girlfriend is a selfish person and too desperate,if u end up relocating to abuja on this basis,u will surely regret it,be a man and make the right decision for urself.

J111333:
It seems the girl has plans for you in Abuja but you're dull. All she needs is a bold step from you but she ain't seeing it.
Mr. Man, go to Abuja and sleep in a motor park if necessary.

My brother.... This your reply seems like a joke but it's the best advise so far... Let him be a man... Bold Steps matters. She loves him and wants to help him. I stay in Abuja, i would have love to be of help but. Chai! Oju tiri mo beru eyan. Ara la mo, ako mo nu (in Yoruba)