₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
So these men shame women for being oloshos who have sex before marriage but can’t stand one who’s actually waiting for the wedding night?
Confused mofos.

OP that woman knows what she wants which is more than anyone can say for you.

You may not be good enough for her so if it pleases you, let her go. She will find someone who shares same beliefs as her and will be willing to wait.

then you can find the one who will have sex with you whenever you want so that you and your fellow NL retrdds can swarm around and call her olosho.

kunleweb:
She reserves a right to her definitive of principles and institutions ma

mechanics:
There is nothing wrong in her decision, in my church you are not allowed to make love until after church wedding.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

icankel:
God bless u my dear, I feel like sending any available Boko haram person to his location. The girl been honest and transparent to him yet he's still lamenting, maybe he only wanted sex and the girl played smart on him

okoroemeka:
I don't believe the op has got a good wife like u saying,how can she be a good wife when konji is destroying the man that paid her traditional bride price and she does nothing, something is definitely fishy here and also there will be compatibility issues,the man is virle and ready for love, while the lady can relate with the guy for 1year and not feel anything,the op is definitely getting married to a frigid woman and his sex life will suffer,how can i take something for life without testing it and seeing how it works,well it seems the op is a perfect gentleman because many men I know will not tolerate that rubbish, Even before going for the traditional stuffs I must start the engine and Rev it to Max power,the lady even live in owerri and still claiming virgin, haaaaahaaa!!!

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

steppin:
Getting married to her has made that particular arrangement null and void.
It's like buying a car with the necessary documents, and then deprived of using the car for a flimsy excuse.

iAudio:
where is church wedding written in the Bible?

Church wedding is simply oyibo tradition copied by Africans.

MariaAngeles:
You say wise things

Daree88:
This is the best response I have read so far. I kept wondering before scrolling down to see your contribution, why someone would have a good wife and still complain? Are you marrying primarily because of sex? If you respect her, respect her view about life too. And if you had gone this far, suspending wedding because of differences in your views about timing for sex before marriage is too mean, unscrupulous, menial and preposterous a reason. Why can't you just wait until after the wedding? You won't die before then. After all, you will get tired of it after your wedding. Soonest, I will be getting married, and for love's sake, I have sincerely and happily respected all my fiancee's rules and I am more comforted to do so because those things are temporal but marriage is till death. So, why can't I endure what is temporal for that which is permanent since those things will by themselves go after wedding? I respect those godly principles of my fiancee cos that is what is called VIRTUE which is not common in this generation where we are controlled by our impulses and satisfy it at all cost and don't care whether we defy moral values or not.

I pray she's not making a mistake, because your self-centeredness can affect your marriage, that's a bitter truth, except you change and allow God mold you. Please, desuspend your wedding (if there's an English like that), wait for that day and enjoy yourself after then. I understand, but still be patient; you will have a good wife in her.

mignone:
The so-called white wedding doesn't have to be a lavish one;in fact, ppl (esp easterners) spend more on d trad. than to receive the priest's blessings.
That aside, the point here is that there was an agreement.

midnighter:
Of course, traditional marriage has spiritual backings. Who said that it doesnt?

Even my own parents only did trad so kindly see yourself out of my mentions! Confused people who dont read somebodys post very well Shior!

WriterX:
the op has issues oh, demanding for body even when he and her agreed on what and how things were going to be done, imagine his level of self imposed right over the woman's body like really?
mehn and to think some people are going Crazy with the shirty " she is a slut and all" is really annoying to me.

She is a very decisive and determined individual and to me that's a rare quality to find in a woman, imagine the OP dEmanding his right to have his way with her body like, make she give am the op where is the said love he speaks about .

DozieInc:
You deserve a medal.

Igwe Georgia no listen to advise

Chigold101:
It will not but the man would know he has a bigger battle to fight.
Remember the church wedding certificate is given to the woman not the man. The woman would have what to approach the court with incase of stories that touch the spine.

dennel:
Well, you can’t force everyone to reason just like you and that’s why we have different opinions, races, beliefs, religions, tribes and all...

We all can’t sleep a turn our heads on a side, so dts why you need to look deep into others perspectives and either take or leave their decisions or ideas...

Mind you, I still didn't oppose or claim you’ve spoken wrongly responding* Ts your own opinion n you damn entitled to it*

fela4live:
Shame on you confused person! You don't even understand your own comment.

midnighter:
Lol you don't even understand anything, the shame is yours and yours alone!

DeeMain:
You have no honour. You have no respect for her nor for God. You gave her your word! And those words mean absolutely nothing to you.

Brother, I am angry. Two, I am ashamed on your behalf.

You agreed to wait till wedding night and now you are shifting goal posts, playing the victim and manipulating and blackmailing and guilt tripping her just so you can have your way.

This case is not about whether you are legally married or not already or if she is a virgin or not so don't try to bamboozle us with extraneous materials here as someone like me will call you out on your BS. This issue is about an agreement to wait and a promise not kept.

And the guilty party is YOU.

You see the way you do one thing is the way you do so many things. If I were her, I will begin to have serious doubts about your character and wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Naansense and manipulation!

Offpoint:
I'm sorry, there was no agreement in the write up.... "I didn't take it serious" was the statement.

midnighter:
That has nothing to do with what we are discussing here

DeeMain:
You have no honour. You have no respect for her nor for God. You gave her your word! And those words mean absolutely nothing to you.

Brother, I am angry. Two, I am ashamed on your behalf.

You agreed to wait till wedding night and now you are shifting goal posts, playing the victim and manipulating and blackmailing and guilt tripping her just so you can have your way.

This case is not about whether you are legally married or not already or if she is a virgin or not so don't try to bamboozle us with extraneous materials here as someone like me will call you out on your BS. This issue is about an agreement to wait and a promise not kept.

And the guilty party is YOU.

You see the way you do one thing is the way you do so many things. If I were her, I will begin to have serious doubts about your character and wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Naansense and manipulation!

iAudio:
It is supposed to be, in Africa, once you have done the traditional rites, you are married. And whoever is married should take home his wife.
But instead, we wait to add the borrowed oyinbo culture too before we say we are married.

Therefore, my post has everything to do with the topic of discussion.

igwegeorgiano:
my dear am tempted to ask thus question is church wedding actually in d bible? To the best of my knowledge and I stand to be corrected church wedding is a western ideology its not an African stuff at all

igwegeorgiano:
not at all. I did not considered her virginity but cos she has proved beyond doubts to be the woman I wanted but with this over righteous attitude and not taking into cognisance that I have paid her bride price and other traditional obligations is what I don't understand