₦airaland Forum

lilwetdick:
i agree i am a fuckboy , a proud fuckboy, i infact got strips on my shoulders

so you believe that someone in a faceless forum knows your worth, how are you sure you are infact communicating with a female, you are a real tasty nigger, you are already bringing out pre cum by just typing with a so called female online.. Mumu

Ote. Let me worry about myself abraka boy

healthserve:
Ote. Let me worry about myself abraka boy

mumu..came in the form of advice but had his interior motive. he won collect online pussy...lol

lilwetdick:
mumu..came in the form of advice but had his interior motive. he won collect online pussy...lol

Hahahahaha see this $200 Yahoo boy. The creme ladies on my matter pass 10, you're $200 westey no go fit carry am olodo

healthserve:
Hahahahaha see this $200 Yahoo boy. The creme ladies on my matter pass 10, you're $200 westey no go fit carry am olodo

yeah!, so why dont you select one of the "creme ladies" to settle down? abi you no fit afford their lifestyle

i know say for your mind you think say you don see gf for nairaland, you been singing praise and worship songs to the most high while staining your boxer with pre cum, but man know say with all your advice na just format.

wetin man no go see for nairaland be like say its been like 10 years since you bang girl na why your blood dey hot like fire.

na audio pussy you go collect.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

continye heoing ooooooo

lilwetdick:
yeah!, so why dont you select one of the "creme ladies" to settle down? abi you no fit afford their lifestyle

i know say for your mind you think say you don see gf for nairaland, you been singing praise and worship songs to the most high while staining your boxer with pre cum, but man know say with all your advice na just format.

wetin man no go see for nairaland be like say its been like 10 years since you bang girl na why your blood dey hot like fire.

na audio pussy you go collect.

Don't spoil the thread. Let it go abeg I'm busy with work

yettymuse:
If you raise a standard, then be sure you match same standard. You want a man with a car, good apartment, gainfully employed etc.... Do you have a car? Do you pay your own bills? Do you have an apartment to yourself??

The pu..s!y market is saturated now and only good pssies with good head gets a great spoil!

....start by upgrading yourself with your own money....(it’s a lot of work trying to upgrade with a man’s money)... I’m not talking Instagram-kinda upgrade... then every other thang will fall into place!

Men don't look at whether you have car, apartment and shit like that.

Its face and body.

Harlequeen:
i believe in God

Are you the one liking my post?

philsbaba:
so this is all you have to offer This is all you have to offer for all that great characteristics you mentioned in that post..... Sorry oo, but the type of man you want would never want you

Alas men will first check beauty first before looking for " inner beauty " .

Harlequeen:
she is just slightly concerned that i am not married at 25 or seeing anybody for now, but she wants me to choose a good partner first of all. She tells me to do what i can and be smart about it.And she wants me to manhunt in the house of the lord.

There you have all the advice u need!!!

What more can I say?

RealMrNigerD:
Are you the one liking my post?

yep

GrabHisBalls:
She shouldn't drop the mentality of listing credentials oh! People marry for selfish reasons even though they will tell you they love you unconditionally. The woman you married, you married her for selfish reasons. At least, she didn't collect a Kobo from you while dating. That was selfishness on your part.

How do you people advise people to drop standards? Anything doesn't go. Not all men with the dick are worth a relationship, not to talk of marriage.

that is why you are still single

Harlequeen:
......I would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men.

He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person)

he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria.

This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Back.... have calmed down from the earlier sexcitement.

You must know what you want... nothing wrong with that... and I respect that. The thing is... you need to be flexible... willing to compromise on some of your expectations. What you can hold out for without compromise is no sex before marriage. But the other stuff you can even drop some depending on the strength of the other qualities. What if the guy is good at a certain trade... and is fair with the other qualities... should you really rule him out because he is not well spoken?

Most matured accomplished guys are already settled.... most that are not are either players....still playing the field and not ready or never would be ready to settle/have issues with relationships... too possessive... women beaters/married to their jobs or mothers/semi impotent/gay. What are your chances of running into the veryyyy few free good men left?

Just like you are young but matured.... there are also guys like you... so why rule them out because of age?

Ha!...guy with plans to leave the country!.... is hard to find any guy...well spoken or pidgin only spoken ...hardworking or lazy yoot who doesn't have plans to leave the country. Scratch that one out!

On your approach.... none of what you listed is more important than the character of the person and if the person really loves you. Your approach is more like interviewing someone for a job... a business partner....not a life partner. Does the person want kids?...like kids?... selfish?... overloaded with ego?...respect you as a person?...has an open mind?.... a flexible mind?... can own up to mistakes?...consider advice?.....what are his vices?....is he a gambler?...an alcoholic?.... does he have a sense of humour?...or he be army drill sergeant type?.... you have no religion?...does he?..is after your ehmmm....destiny? He can meet all of your listed requirements and yet be half of the above!

My advice.... make friends... stop looking for a husband..... friends eventually become husbands because you get to know them inside out.....almost.

And you know these gossipers here on NL be ehmmm..... let me shut up!

Harlequeen:
sex is high risk and low reward for women and not pleasant for all women. That is why faking it is almost second nature to so.e women.

I am not saying i don't like sex, i don't regret being sexually active. I am not in a relationship, and do not see the point sleeping around.

People are different.

Sex is a high risk low reward at the same time is a no risk no reward at same time high risk high reward.

This means sex is risky.

What am saying is, since you ain't the religious type, sex shouldn't be important. Sex is not a priority. It is not an issue. Be liberal about it.

What did you lose by being sexuality active? If your answer is nothing then you'll not lose anything from having sex with your future partners. As long as your sexual life is discrete and safe, you can't lose. So why are you afraid of sex?

Am not saying you should have sex indiscriminately, am saying, the conditions of having sex shouldn't be the same as for your life partner. The requirements for sex should be far lesser.

urahara:
Men don't look at whether you have car, apartment and shit like that.
Its face and body.

are you for real?

Be explicit then. Maybe the highly sort after kind of nigga is in the house

Harlequeen:
That's not the kind of investment i am looking for

pansophist:
The quoted above only demonstrates the unrealistic standards girls set for themselves, pricing themselves out from the romance market place. Of course, you have the right to aim for high-quality men, but your aiming should be realistic with the situation on ground. You want a well-spoken, accomplished, high-quality man, ready-made man, that lives in Lekki, the kind that is also highly sorted after by lots of women, the kind of man that knows he has options and has less incentive to settle, is, in my view, unrealistic to aim for.

And after all these expectational qualities you wrote, I still didn't see where you wrote about your own contributions to his life. I do not want to think that you assume yourself to be perfect and that any man you picked should be damn lucky for having you in his life. It seems like you want a trophy husband, an exotic animal that you will admire every day for his accomplishments and high-powered lifestyle, you just love him for what he is, not who he is.

How about seeking a good man that will treat you right and grow with him? Do you think that such ready-made men you aim for will find you worthy when you haven't known them in their formative years and when they had nothing? You even said that whenever you see these men, you are not attracted to them, at this point, you need to come to terms with the realities on the ground that relationships are all about compromise. You cant have it all. There is not an equal amount of rich men for every girl, just as there is not an equal amount of stunningly beautiful women for every man.

At 25, I want to believe you should be matured to know that meaningful relationships are formed on the foundations of compatibility and altruism. Seek a man with potential, with honor, thas expresses healthy masculinity. A man that respects you and has good track records that are subjective to his circumstances, grow with him, and let your femininity complements his. Still expecting to sweep off your feet and tingling butterflies is temporary and fades with time before realities sets in.

Mr Panso,
Is this not what we've been telling them all this while?
In a country that is extremely poor, someone looking for high quality man and she may likely not even be bringing anything tangible to the marriage.
That is why i do say women have Employee's Mentality, no difference.
Look it this way - in a country with soooooo much graduates who all were dreaming of getting their dream job when they were in school; too much hope and expectations.
Dreaming about getting a high paying job, official car and house, fat salary etc but when reality hits them hard, they become frustrated, confused and suicidal.

Martinez39
Ubunja
Franchasng

pansophist:
The quoted above only demonstrates the unrealistic standards girls set for themselves, pricing themselves out from the romance market place. Of course, you have the right to aim for high-quality men, but your aiming should be realistic with the situation on ground. You want a well-spoken, accomplished, high-quality man, ready-made man, that lives in Lekki, the kind that is also highly sorted after by lots of women, the kind of man that knows he has options and has less incentive to settle, is, in my view, unrealistic to aim for.

And after all these expectational qualities you wrote, I still didn't see where you wrote about your own contributions to his life. I do not want to think that you assume yourself to be perfect and that any man you picked should be damn lucky for having you in his life. It seems like you want a trophy husband, an exotic animal that you will admire every day for his accomplishments and high-powered lifestyle, you just love him for what he is, not who he is.

How about seeking a good man that will treat you right and grow with him? Do you think that such ready-made men you aim for will find you worthy when you haven't known them in their formative years and when they had nothing? You even said that whenever you see these men, you are not attracted to them, at this point, you need to come to terms with the realities on the ground that relationships are all about compromise. You cant have it all. There is not an equal amount of rich men for every girl, just as there is not an equal amount of stunningly beautiful women for every man.

At 25, I want to believe you should be matured to know that meaningful relationships are formed on the foundations of compatibility and altruism. Seek a man with potential, with honor, thas expresses healthy masculinity. A man that respects you and has good track records that are subjective to his circumstances, grow with him, and let your femininity complements his. Still expecting to sweep off your feet and tingling butterflies is temporary and fades with time before realities sets in.

The elder himself has spoken. Truck truckload words of wisdom

This is exactly how a 21st century woman should reason. It's a good thing that you are not intimidated by all the comments above, you definitely will meet the right man, so what must you do? Girl you need to start dressing hot, I mean decent good clothes that flatter your figure. Good hair styles that suit you, then above all, you should start going on few outings.

You are still very young, and in life, ladies can hardly foretell when marriage will come. That's why you see some ladies settling in their early/late 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. As for the baggage your ex left in your heart, the earlier you move on, the better. My elder sister once told me that when looking for a partner, you should make a list of 5 most important attributes. It worked for her, as she is happily married. So make a list, it should not exceed 5qualities.

The age Gap you insisted on is very funny, there are so many men who are in their late 20s/ early30s, but are very mature and intelligent, so erase age out of it, haven't you seen late 20s/30yr old guys getting married? Older men with very young wives still cheat, I say this in case you belong to the group of females who desire to look young for their husbands.


Finally, you can also register with mature sites where you can get to meet African American men. Commit it to God, you will be fine.

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

My dear babe, shebi you see this your standard? Stick with it.
Follow what you want o.
Wait for the type of man you want.

It's better you stay on your own than settle for a type of man you are not attracted to all in the name of there's no perfect man.

Wait for your man babe, when he comes you will know.
If he doesn't come in time, get a fuckboy, adopt a child and live happily ever after.


Shebi you see this life, it's too short to be crying after one stupid scummy man and trying to train it into the man you want it to be.

Don't set ur standards low for any modafvker.

As long as you are deserving of all good thing, it will surely get to you babe.

And for all those weeping and running their mouth bcus you know the type of man you want, ignore them.
It's simply because they don't meet the standards that's why they are pained.

Focus on self growth for now, while on the lookout for your man.

lilwetdick:
the op is looking for a rich, matured and ready made man for marriage, he must be living in an highbrow area, age bracket(35-40)

all her spec are in the writeup but many of you cant noticed that

U go sabi summarized tins well for sec school... U just said it all, the big grammar op has been speaking since is that she wants a ready made man.

OmalichaJesus:
My dear babe, shebi you see this your standard? Stick with it.
Follow what you want o.
Wait for the type of man you want.

It's better you stay on your own than settle for a type of man you are not attracted to all in the name of there's no perfect man.

Wait for your man babe, when he comes you will know.
If he doesn't come in time, get a fuckboy, adopt a child and live happily ever after.


Shebi you see this life, it's too short to be crying after one stupid scummy man and trying to train it into the man you want it to be.

Don't set ur standards low for any modafvker.

As long as you are deserving of all good thing, it will surely get to you babe.

And for all those weeping and running their mouth bcus you know the type of man you want, ignore them.
It's simply because they don't meet the standards that's why they are pained.

Focus on self growth for now, while on the lookout for your man.

..

Your listed criteria are noble. There are many men out there with those criteria. But the truth is that majority of them are MARRIED. And they were aided to be what they are, by the women in their lives. If you can't find a ready made man, be prepared to build up one.

LilMissFavvy:
This is exactly how a 21st century woman should reason. It's a good thing that you are not intimidated by all the comments above, you definitely will meet the right man, so what must you do? Girl you need to start dressing hot, I mean decent good clothes that flatter your figure. Good hair styles that suit you, then above all, you should start going on few outings.

You are still very young, and in life, ladies can hardly foretell when marriage will come. That's why you see some ladies settling in their early/late 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. As for the baggage your ex left in your heart, the earlier you move on, the better. My elder sister once told me that when looking for a partner, you should make a list of 5 most important attributes. It worked for her, as she is happily married. So make a list, it should not exceed 5qualities.

The age Gap you insisted on is very funny, there are so many men who are in their late 20s/ early30s, but are very mature and intelligent, so erase age out of it, haven't you seen late 20s/30yr old guys getting married? Older men with very young wives still cheat, I say this in case you belong to the group of females who desire to look young for their husbands.


Finally, you can also register with mature sites where you can get to meet African American men. Commit it to God, you will be fine.

Chummy My Chum Chum My one and only Chum Chum

@ harlequeen nothing is wrong with you please, the most important rule for you is this never limit yourself to standards you can't celebrate.

maximusprime2000:
are you for real?

After physical attraction then comes " inner beauty ".

Hey.....

healthserve:
Chummy My Chum Chum My one and only Chum Chum

Barcelona98:
This thread has gone far, and i hope you've learnt one or two. I'm just here to lay out my candid opinion. I'm currently dating someone like you and we've had ups and downs but something is lacking in her. She's a hustler, pursuing her Ph.D and earns well from her business but she still lacks one thing. She has good taste of living and can do anything to put us into that standard but she lacks one thing. She believes she got it handled but it's not. The wants to change but she can't (it's a lifestyle). She has bad manners and lots of pride. Having educational qualifications, being a good hustler and making money is nothing to a man if you're not well mannered towards people and him. This is what drives your daily relationship and what keeps the body and soul together. Pride and lack of submission to your man kills everything good about you. It's not just about getting Mr. Right but doing right by him. Before you work towards getting your desired man, make sure you build yourself to be the woman he wants. I'm a successful man to a point for now. I know what I want in my woman and I'm ready to be what she wants so we can tangle along well enough. I'll be leaving my current relationship very soon because my woman's academic/career success isn't the primary thing here. He daily living with me is no.1. Respect, humility and submission is everything to a man. Good luck my dear, and I pray everything works out fine for you.

LOL... Another aunty is abt to get dumped

Lightway:
Look at this...

When I was in the Univeristy i set a high standard for myself.. i didnt look at broke girls twice and I could only date girls with 100k in their account.... I look out for the rich people and associate them.

Here is your problem

You didnt really specify the specs you want...

Define an ambitious man.

Should he have a million dollars in his account or 1 million?

Should he have a car or cars?

Should he be black or white?

Will you accept a man with a tattos?


You only gave these descriptions

He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs

There are many men with these features, so you need to be very specific.

When you narrow down the characteristics that interest you, ask yourself one question...

Where can you find this kind of man? On the street? By the road? In the highbrows of lekki, like you said Or on social media?

If you cant find him, then ask yourself...

Does this man really exist?

Sometimes we watch too many movies, listen to too many social media talks, consume too many relationship books and shows and all that garbage push us to fantasize and create a partner (man) that doesn't exist...

Just look at your man, you want him to have all the great features just the same way a lot of people want all the bad in the world to be gone..

In reality, the world is so bad that some people dont want to live in it anymore and they commit suicide.

But there are great people out there doing good, with a good heart and a giving spirit. You have seen them and you probably envy them. Unknown to you, many of these people already know the truth, they have studied the bad in this world and learned how to live with it... So while they do good, no one can cheat them or outwit them because they know whats up.

So while your man must has good, impressive features he must have bad features too. And while you're fantasizing about the perfect man for you, remember that no one is perfect and there is no perfect man. In fact, you might find out that no man has all the qualities you want. Instead, they have most, a few or none of these attributes. The right thing to do would be to give those with most of these features you want a chance and learn from there.

Try to learn lessons while you're younger, because they'll sharpen your decision making skills when you get older.

I learned this while chasing after the right partner while I was making 200k per month and hunting only ambitious ladies. So, the feeling is mutual

Harlequeen

you are wise sir i wish we had more Nigerians like you.

Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed.

Come on shatap there you braggart .