₦airaland Forum

AceOfRed:
We have advised him to involve both, but he is reluctant, he will rather call never-ending meetings that never yield any result . My dad is all these 'peace loving' kind of people. There is nothing that these people have not done in his own house.

madridguy:
It is true that some mistakes can never be corrected in life. Tell your dad to try and make peace with his brothers and forget about evicting them.
You should also try your best to stay neutral so your relationship with your cousins will forever remain intact.



Don't u think they haven't tried this..

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

cRobo:
You will have to involve the police and customary court

Do this ASAP

If your Dad is late there is nothing you or your mother will be able to do to evacuate them

Probably they are waiting for you Dad to be late so they claim the property

Evict now that your Dad is alive by all means

jaymichael:
He should just sell the house or transfer to a management company.

like1:
I have to say this again, the selfishness we brew these days in our Igbo families, I really don't get it. I am sure the problems between your father and the brothers arose because either your father or mother is trying to be Lord over them just because they live in your house and they resisted.

Your parents should learn to tolerate his brothers. As you said, they can't go and live in the bush, the so called ancestral land till they build theirs and you also know they are not capable to.

Imagine, what your father and his siblings are going through and you think later it will not be the same between you and your siblings. Let me tell you what will happen, if you guys succeed in pushing your uncles out. The next fight will start between you and your siblings over same house. I am telling you from experience, it is psychological. I has happened in many families I know, even mine.

Moreover, which relationship do you want to maintain with your cousins when through your parents you chased them away from the house.

This is the same problem that happened in my paternal family and now happening between my maternal uncles. People will never learn. The level of selfishness these days is really overwhelming. I don't get it.

My story;
If you like learn from it.

My uncle built an up-stair (big house) in the early 80's. Both families all live in the city, so we just come back to stay in the village house during Xmas and sometimes Easter. Within the few days in the village, their mum and mum will always quarrel. I mean sometimes even physical because both women were always at loggerheads with flimsy things. E.g one of my brothers (a kid then) 'pooed or peed' in the compound, my mum was cooking here and not there. So this quarrel has been there for years when we were kids till our late teenage years when it escalated. My Dad even though not buoyant, started to build a house but then they were not even patient enough for my Dad to near completion of the house before we were sent packing. My Dad had to sell a small property in the city to even roof the building. Then we moved. Of course the relationship dwindled, everybody started minding his or her business.

Now, in less than 7 years, we are better of. Completed my Dad's building, built another with complete finishing and live better and bigger. However their house remained uncompleted as it has been, no fence, not tiled, no paint and all that. Now, they all want a closer relationship but naturally it can't happen, the discord is there already. The news around the village now is that my cousins (now adults and married) are quarreling on who will occupy upstair of the house and who will stay down. Imagine.

Don't neglect people. Nobody is God. Everybody fit pick.

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

like1:
I have to say this again, the selfishness we brew these days in our Igbo families, I really don't get it. I am sure the problems between your father and the brothers arose because either your father or mother is trying to be Lord over them just because they live in your house and they resisted.

Your parents should learn to tolerate his brothers. As you said, they can't go and live in the bush, the so called ancestral land till they build theirs and you also know they are not capable to.

Imagine, what your father and his siblings are going through and you think later it will not be the same between you and your siblings. Let me tell you what will happen, if you guys succeed in pushing your uncles out. The next fight will start between you and your siblings over same house. I am telling you from experience, it is psychological. I has happened in many families I know, even mine.

Moreover, which relationship do you want to maintain with your cousins when through your parents you chased them away from the house.

This is the same problem that happened in my paternal family and now happening between my maternal uncles. People will never learn. The level of selfishness these days is really overwhelming. I don't get it.

My story;
If you like learn from it.

My uncle built an up-stair (big house) in the early 80's. Both families all live in the city, so we just come back to stay in the village house during Xmas and sometimes Easter. Within the few days in the village, their mum and mum will always quarrel. I mean sometimes even physical because both women were always at loggerheads with flimsy things. E.g one of my brothers (a kid then) 'pooed or peed' in the compound, my mum was cooking here and not there. So this quarrel has been there for years when we were kids till our late teenage years when it escalated. My Dad even though not buoyant, started to build a house but then they were not even patient enough for my Dad to near completion of the house before we were sent packing. My Dad had to sell a small property in the city to even roof the building. Then we moved. Of course the relationship dwindled, everybody started minding his or her business.

Now, in less than 7 years, we are better of. Completed my Dad's building, built another with complete finishing and live better and bigger. However their house remained uncompleted as it has been, no fence, not tiled, no paint and all that. Now, they all want a closer relationship but naturally it can't happen, the discord is there already. The news around the village now is that my cousins (now adults and married) are quarreling on who will occupy upstair of the house and who will stay down. Imagine.

Don't neglect people. Nobody is God. Everybody fit pick.

baby124:
While one is squatting and homeless, the person has to be very humble and put other family members in check. So that they don’t inconvenience or become a nuisance to their hosts. Anybody call fit pick, but don’t be a nuisance while waiting for the call.

like1:
Humble? You better say slave, because that is what our selfish minds would like to see as humble. Anyway, the society and values keeps going down and we all will still be the beneficiary of the decay. You can't plant rice and get beans.

Sanchez01:
The best option right now is the legal route. Advise your dad to get a lawyer and also involve the police. Let the police invite the three of them, first make them sign an undertaking that they'd be responsible for whatever happens to your dad based on the threats.

Then have the lawyer serve a quit notice to them, possibly before the police. Of course, the eviction wouldn't be immediately but knowing that they have been legally asked to leave will render them incapacitated and plant fear in their hearts.

Whatever you do, DO NOT go the customary way because its approach towards something as this is not really efficient. The so-called Umunnas might be doing the bidding of your uncles.

With the ongoing trend, your cousins might be warming up to 'inherit' those rooms seeing your uncles have unconsciously laid claims to them. Advise dad to get a lawyer before visiting a station. I'd prefer a police command in your state. They are more effective at addressing issues as this one.

Shegzy8:
You guys are just saying build another house as if it cost 1k to do that.

like1:
I have to say this again, the selfishness we brew these days in our Igbo families, I really don't get it. I am sure the problems between your father and the brothers arose because either your father or mother is trying to be Lord over them just because they live in your house and they resisted.

Your parents should learn to tolerate his brothers. As you said, they can't go and live in the bush, the so called ancestral land till they build theirs and you also know they are not capable to.

Imagine, what your father and his siblings are going through and you think later it will not be the same between you and your siblings. Let me tell you what will happen, if you guys succeed in pushing your uncles out. The next fight will start between you and your siblings over same house. I am telling you from experience, it is psychological. I has happened in many families I know, even mine.

Moreover, which relationship do you want to maintain with your cousins when through your parents you chased them away from the house.

This is the same problem that happened in my paternal family and now happening between my maternal uncles. People will never learn. The level of selfishness these days is really overwhelming. I don't get it.

My story;
If you like learn from it.

My uncle built an up-stair (big house) in the early 80's. Both families all live in the city, so we just come back to stay in the village house during Xmas and sometimes Easter. Within the few days in the village, their mum and mum will always quarrel. I mean sometimes even physical because both women were always at loggerheads with flimsy things. E.g one of my brothers (a kid then) 'pooed or peed' in the compound, my mum was cooking here and not there. So this quarrel has been there for years when we were kids till our late teenage years when it escalated. My Dad even though not buoyant, started to build a house but then they were not even patient enough for my Dad to near completion of the house before we were sent packing. My Dad had to sell a small property in the city to even roof the building. Then we moved. Of course the relationship dwindled, everybody started minding his or her business.

Now, in less than 7 years, we are better of. Completed my Dad's building, built another with complete finishing and live better and bigger. However their house remained uncompleted as it has been, no fence, not tiled, no paint and all that. Now, they all want a closer relationship but naturally it can't happen, the discord is there already. The news around the village now is that my cousins (now adults and married) are quarreling on who will occupy upstair of the house and who will stay down. Imagine.

Don't neglect people. Nobody is God. Everybody fit pick.

LabDNA:
What if the police tells them, they don't meddle in family matter. I've seen such scenarios especially when enough money is not forthcoming.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Entitled siblings. Your dad should have known that trouble will definitely erupt someday when his brothers are married. Why didn't he encourage them to build all these years?

sassysure:
In my place

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

Omoluabi16:
. With their threats, and backing of those shameless umunna's if anything happens to him you should kiss that property goodbye. Now is the time to act. Police and lawyer COULD easily be compromised. Best bet is to dispose of the house totally.. forget whatever attachment you guys may have. Your dad should be pushing 60 or 70 years now, so it's not really about him again but you. Do not let some ingrates steal your rights.
If your uncles are this shameless, I would expect their wives to speak sense into them.Apparently they're birds of the same feathers. Greedy and wicked.

stubbornman:
Tell your Dad to sell the house.... you guys can buy another house and live happily ever after...

baby124:
Yes you are a slave and beggar when you can’t afford your own roof. You should carry yourself with humility as the squatter and burden you are.

donifez:
I am not sure they can sell out rightly if the house is in the Obi. Does not look right.

AceOfRed:
Funnily enough, I and my cousims do not have a relationship, absolutely none. But I and my siblings respect their parents and have never insulted them. But these my cousins are in cahoot with their parents to wreak havoc in the house.

My parents live alone with a househelp as none of my siblings is at home. So we always feel they are endangered.

About making peace, bros it is impossible now, believe me. I believe they can only tolerate each other when they begin to live apart.

like1:
Anyway, life knows how to humble people with the type of mentality you have.


I have noticed, no one who is really successful thinks this way, but only people who managed to get 1 or 2 things going for them at a particular point in time. You can't manage a successful business like this, because the employees who will make the money will definitely leave for better options or will just be inefficient because of the boss attitude.

If you like learn, or just be a regular abusive nairaland'er'.

sassysure:
To sell village house to who, my dear?
And after selling the house, where will he live?
Where will the poster go to in the village?

When I thought I have seen it all here