Shegzy8:

Baba me that I'm saying all this ehnn. I'm not the type that will drag for property, I love my peace more than anything. But I understand you quite well. It's not easy though

Thank you sir, for understanding me. It's not easy I know.

sassysure:

Thank u my dear. Just look at how people are advising him to call police or go to court.
Really?
And pursue them out to live where?
That his dad should have pursued them away when he married. Just for one old house. They don't have the money to build. They see the house as family house irrespective of who built it. In my place u dare not try it. It's a taboo to pursue your brothers out of the house because u fight everyday. Nobody will ever support u. Even if they are a pain to you, u dare not tell them to move out. Look for the root of the quarrel and settle it.
Now as the son, instead of u to hustle more and build another house, carry your papa to the new house, u are continuing with the useless mentality. Everybody want to assume he is right. I wouldn't be surprised if u call these two guys, they will give a diff version.
Also, it's our house mentality is overriding their reasoning. Mum behaving like typical naija landlady and dad telling them they they can't even raise money to build a house of their own. We all know what we say when we are all worked up. The 3 families quarrel and shout and the kids take sides. Now he has grown,he should start reasoning like an adult with sense but her he is making the same mistake his dad made. I wish him luck. But this might trigger the children of the other two to make it in this world and at a point, him.or one of his siblings or children might need them desperately for one thing or the other

We all have mad people as parts of our family members.
It can even be us. But we learn how to manage and abide with them. Sometimes it pays to be the fool so that peace will reign.

Everybody, here is one of the uncles on Nairaland o!

We are yet to hear both side of the story, 1. Did your father demolish the main family house while building his house, becuase it usually happens with first born, if your father built his house in the main compound where your grandfather lived and he demolished the house, your father should get ready for a big battle becuase they can claim that's their general house what your father could have done is not share the main plot and build another house for his own plot, that main building could belong to every Okpara of the family he should use his sense while there is still time.

AFRICAN MAGIC COME TO MIND, NKEM OWO VISIT OKE DIBIA CHIWETALU AGWU, AND YOUR UNCLE EVIL WIFE PATIENCE EZEKWU BY THE SIDE GIVING YOUR MUM AND SIBLINGS HARD TIME AND THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE IS " THE MISTAKE OF MY FATHER" WATCH OUT FOR PART TWO

If the judiciary was not lame, they will all down tools and take a stand against executive bullying. until federal government calls one of its attack dogs which is the DSS to order

AwkaetitiBabe:
Entitled siblings. Your dad should have known that trouble will definitely erupt someday when his brothers are married. Why didn't he encourage them to build all these years?

Why should the dad be the one to encourage them to build? Their brains should have told them that the house doesn't belong to them. Thank God its not someone like me that they are messing up with. You don't leave that house in a week, na army I go tell make them come flog any LIVING THING in any of those rooms. What's my business with umunne, na them give me money build the house?

sassysure:

Don't delve into what u had no idea how it works if u are not igbo. This is not a house in the city but a village house. Even if u are the mad o e in the family, I mean a real mad one who roams the street, u must have a roof in your father's house. The person who built it doesn't matter.
The last born might be doing better than the rest and decide to pull down the old house that have and build new one. The house automatically belongs to every body in that family. That is how it's done. If u don't want your poor brothers to stay with you, then build something for them. Simple.

This building of house in the Obi is a very strong issue in Igboland. Sibling entitlement is strong. My dad built a bouse in the village in the early 80s. We have never slept one night in that house. It was completely taken over by his brothers, sister and their family.
This is because we have always lived in the city. Goes home like once in a year.

Dad later built another one is his own personal piece of land given to him by the Umunna. The flip side to this is that he is held in very high regard by the rest of the family. He can do no wrong. So i sometimes understand the rational behind not chasing your brothers out of your house built on the ancestral land. It's a very delicate issue in Igboland.

Ameen, bless you too.

Amarachiishere:
you are a wise man bro. i dont know you, but God bless you

SmileDance:
He should use the house as a collateral for a loan or better still sell the house

Op, please here, SmileDance has giving you the answer to your question.

You see, the issue of land or house dispute, as the case may be, is always a dicey one. Tell your dad to thread cautiously and you too. In fact, you and your siblings must not get involved in the matter at all.

Tell your dad to go source for loan from the bank, use the house as collateral, with the intent not to pay back and use the money to build another house somewhere outside the family compound.
And the building of the new house must be kept secret.

Bunch of wicked uncles married to unreasonable wives.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Where's my birthday gift?

At my place. Can u DM 4 location?

damoobaba:


Why should the dad be the one to encourage them to build? Their brains should have told them that the house doesn't belong to them. Thank God its not someone like me that they are messing up with. You don't leave that house in a week, na army I go tell make them come flog any LIVING THING in any of those rooms. What's my business with umunne, na them give me money build the house?

The man made a mistake, he should have sound it into their eardrums that they moving out once married. Close relationships are strained when people from different backgrounds get involved

Luiz1:

At my place. Can u DM 4 location?

I no need that kinda gift jarey. Thank u

AwkaetitiBabe:
I no need that kinda gift jarey. Thank u

Okay o. But my intentions are pure

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

To the wicked, peace is temporal. To the good hearted, a peace offering seem a solution but ends up futile.

I say the only peace you can get is if there is no confrontation. The only way to provide for zero confrontation is to remove one party from the picture. As long as you people stay in the same house and your uncles donot want peace, there is nothing else to do. I don't suggest lawyers, court or the police as a peace measure when these people have diabolical plans.

I suggest that your dad build say rooms like a hostel that will be affordable to him. These rooms will be seen as an upgrade to their single rooms.

The trick is to get them out of the main flat. The hidden trick is that, your father should build to fence them out. The building should be place strategically as a sacrifice of the land it sits on.

Drag them out peace fully then lock them out.

Be carefull not to be out played by the wicked. If your dad builds for them, do not hand over the building without a commitment from them to move out (umunna's as witness and enforcers). If they refuse to move out, set up the place as a business place and temporary move out.

Sell the property as last resort.

Your father made a huge mistake from the on set while having very wicked siblings. From where I come from, building an apartment in the village means building extra rooms for siblings and old parents else your own house will be overtaken.

My father build his village house and built 6 adjoining rooms in a hostel style. The main flat is 3 bedroom with a kitchen. The hostel rooms where allocated 1 for our grandma/daughters and 1 for step grandma/daughters and 2 for uncles.

My dads cousin did a big 6 bedroom mansion in the village, he has 8 rooms hostel behind the big mansion.

My father inlaw is a sibling to a retired military General. The General built is house and fence it detached from a 16 room hostel for his brothers. 3 brothers have their own flats now. And plenty empty rooms are available.

Thats the way to go.

koning:



This building of house in the Obi is a very strong issue in Igboland. Sibling entitlement is strong. My dad built a bouse in the village in the early 80s. We have never slept one night in that house. It was completely taken over by his brothers, sister and their family.
This is because we have always lived in the city. Goes home like once in a year.

Dad later built another one is his own personal piece of land given to him by the Umunna. The flip side to this is that he is held in very high regard by the rest of the family. He can do no wrong. So i sometimes understand the rational behind not chasing your brothers out of your house built on the ancestral land. It's a very delicate issue in Igboland.

Yes, it's a very sensitive issue in igboland which is always handled with caution.
What people normally do is help their brothers to build theirs even if two rooms without kitchen etc to avoid cases like this.
Obi belongs to the first born but if others don't have a place to call their own yet, they are stuck with you.

Anytime their children made money to build house, they know what to do. If it's the first sons son that made money, he will build a house close to that one and leave that one to the rest of the family members
Eventually that house will become theirs though it will take time

ImaIma1:


But this house is not their father's house. It's their brother's house

If u are igbo, u will understand the dynamics. It doesn't matter who built it. It's called THE FAMILY HOUSE aka the obi. Obi house belongs to everybody until others can find their feet
Constitutionally and traditionally, he can't evict them. The court wilk tell them.to go and settle in peace likewise the police. I have never heard of somebody being evicted from the family house.
Being the first son, u are giving more privileges than others because of instances like this.
Igbo people here understands what I'm talking about.

AceOfRed:


We have advised him to involve both, but he is reluctant, he will rather call never-ending meetings that never yield any result . My dad is all these 'peace loving' kind of people. There is nothing that these people have not done in his own house.

relax your dad is protecting you guys.... They should find a way to make peace...


But if he have to evict them, he should do it sense so that he will not leave a life long badbelle for you and your siblings...

Something like renting another place for them that you want to use the rooms for something else, or even that you want to break it down and build another one or renovate..


Something that won't make people think your father is wicked without hearing the two sides of the story..

Alexanity:
We are yet to hear both side of the story, 1. Did your father demolish the main family house while building his house, becuase it usually happens with first born, if your father built his house in the main compound where your grandfather lived and he demolished the house, your father should get ready for a big battle becuase they can claim that's their general house what your father could have done is not share the main plot and build another house for his own plot, that main building could belong to every Okpara of the family he should use his sense while there is still time.

U have a valid point. If he demolished the main.building to build this one, then it's for everybody. It's only if the other building by their grandfather is still standing and they are claiming this one with him, the ùmùnna alone will evict them.

He should have build even one one room each for them.
As he didn't do so, they are stuck together. His son has come to start dragging an old house when he should chose peace. If he has made money, who cares about an old house in the village? Build yours and build for those two also

Your dad should let them
Have the two rooms and you guys stick to the three bedroom flats . My friends dad also has the same issue he just left them with where his brothers are and he had to do few court papers so in future the brothers won’t claim the house . According to what my friend said the lawyer prepared a will that his uncles would have the flats at the back and his wife and children would have the other flats .. Even if any happens to them in the future the house and land would be sold and money giving out to charities . So it’s a 50/50 check .. the uncles can’t harm the children in future when my friends dad is no more or come say then want to take the house in future . At the end my friend dad sold the house and bought another one . That’s how he and his brothers went different ways

I seldom comment on nairaland but I will do you the honour. @Op, like it or not, this fight will go beyond the house ownership or whats not and you might win in the eyes of the law but trust me, when jazz kills a man, there's no court in the world that can judge such a case.

Like I'll always say, EVERY MAN IN THIS WORLD IS USING SOMETHING, so here's what you do and I'm assuming you're a christian, get policemen to evict them, but that's the easy part.

Have you heard all those mountain of fire prayer point where they pray against enemy in my father's house, that's the kind of prayer you'll engage in until You see result cos trust me, your uncles and their families will never back down, blood must rush so no need praying gentle man prayer.

Mind you, I'm not religious, but I have small understanding of spiritual things and I know that juju is very real but Jehovah God is the head of all.

Op, make sure if you eventually get them ejected, you fight all unseen battles spiritually, wish you God's protection

AceOfRed:


Funnily enough, I and my cousims do not have a relationship, absolutely none. But I and my siblings respect their parents and have never insulted them. But these my cousins are in cahoot with their parents to wreak havoc in the house.

My parents live alone with a househelp as none of my siblings is at home. So we always feel they are endangered.

About making peace, bros it is impossible now, believe me. I believe they can only tolerate each other when they begin to live apart.

Brother I feel ur pain, I'm in a similar situation, though we stay in different apartments in the same compound but their problems are much.They are the evil ones here,but they will be accusing in return.Only God can deliver our fathers from wicked siblings.

Your uncles cannot be served a notice to quit as they are not tenants and so do not pay rent. The more appropriate word would be Licensee because your father voluntarily gave them the permission to occupy those rooms. In a normal case, Self-Help would have sufficed but because of the familial ties it will not be advisable as the law also frowns at it.. The best and effective way to achieve their eviction will be by applying to the customary court within the jurisdiction the property is located. They will deal with the issue appropriately and will also be able to apply lawful force to execute their court orders where and when necessary to guarantee eviction. The Police may intervene though, if it has degenerated to reasonable apprehension or actual assault or threat of violence.

AceOfRed:


Exactly, my dad is the first son, and built the house in the obi. There's no way he can uproot from such a place. It's unheard of.

Unfortunately the land is their Obi thus your dad can't send them out until they've built their own house.. that's the rule in Igbo land.

The obi is like the family house even though your father owns the land/house because he's the first son.

You'll have to report the threats to the police though.

Chairman, please work hard and leave that enclave and take the lesson learnt with you. It is very important so that you wont repeat the mistakes of your father. I wish you all the best as you try to do so.

Nlearn:
Yes.. This is family. Bro
Yes we pray for family unity and progress

But on this issue.. Both u and ur dad. Has to be patient until they build their own house. Even if is going to take them a life time.. U have to be patient.

Just stay away from they problem. And focus on making a living.. Ur dad has done great in building a family house in the 80s


Plan to build urs

And here is the truth.. Even after u build urs

If ur uncle and they family. Has not build theirs.. U will still provide an accommodation for them


That is the fact.

Don't go to the police or get lawyer on this.. U will lose the case..

And the memories will out live for ever..

Find ways to unite the family and be on a vigil of peace and progress

Good luck

I'm shocked to read this.

Emwanta?

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

As onye Igbo, you parents know the solution to this problem.

If your Dad built a house in the 80's which he allowed his younger ones to occupy some parts, the best thing he can do is to UPSCALE - build a bigger and better mansion elsewhere then move his family there. Secondly, your family needs to be undergo deliverance and strengthen yourselves in God (MFM style) - note that if your Dad embarks upon building a new house, he could be speared diabolically so as to prevent him from completing the house. Eviction will never work, because from your description these uncles are not well to do; thus, they do not have the means to build their own house.

I have being in this situation, I and my sibs underwent lots of diabolical attacks - our parents passed away in terrible ways; nevertheless, we are stronger now (with God on our side).

AceOfRed:
Please I need legal or customary advice from experienced people.

My dad built a house in the early 80s; a 5 bedroom bungalow, that's before he got married. As at the time he completed the building, he was about to get married, while his 2 brothers were still single then. Because my dad was not based in my town, he gave all his 2 brothers 1 room each to stay in, as they were bachelors. My family occupies 3 rooms ensuite, while my uncles occupy the other two rooms, with a detached kitchen and toilet.

As time went on, they later got married, but still kept living in the single rooms. Now they have families, with my oldest cousin being in his 20s.

The problem is that the relationship between my dad and his brothers has deteriorated terribly over the past years to the extent that my uncle's and their wives now threaten my parents with murder and diabolical acts. In fact, I can't put on text the many issues that have arose between my parents and my uncles.

Now, my dad wants them to vacate his house but they bluntly refused saying that they will live there for as long as they wish. As the first son, he has divided their ancestral lands amongst them, but they have refused to put up there.

Their continued stay in that house has become a huge source of worry and headache to my parents. There is no day that one issue or the other doesn't come up.

My dad has reported them severally to the 'umunna', but this hasn't yielded any benefit. As members of the umunna are people of questionable judgement. They keep telling my dad to wait till my uncle's build their own house, but they are not even interested in building anything, as they have made it clear that they will live with my parents, just to be monitoring them.

Small change and police will come do the needful.

sassysure:


If u are igbo, u will understand the dynamics. It doesn't matter who built it. It's called THE FAMILY HOUSE aka the obi. Obi house belongs to everybody until others can find their feet
Constitutionally and traditionally, he can't evict them. The court wilk tell them.to go and settle in peace likewise the police. I have never heard of somebody being evicted from the family house.
Being the first son, u are giving more privileges than others because of instances like this.
Igbo people here understands what I'm talking about.

The best thing would be to sell the house and finally allow them find their feet. The new owners can evict them. At least the tradition will not forbid that.

Your dad should have just built a little family house for them separate from his own house.

Now look, there is nothing for you his kids to enjoy. When he dies, they will give your mum headache.

Let him involve a lawyer and police fast!!!

I can see brothers living happily and friendly until women entered in the name of marriage. P Square is a good example of what i am saying. Under rate women and what they can do at your own peril. Judges 14 is the bible lesson today.

As long as it's a village house,don't expect the umunna to side ur father in evicting them. The normal anthem will always be "they will leave when they build their own houses or u build one for them" Especially if the said building is in the family land.

My advice is to take it easy with them and hand everything over to God. Evicting them forcefully from that house is a war that won't end even in the fourth generation coming.

Take solace in the fact that u will make it big in life,by then u build a house for them no matter how small, by then any action ur family takes in evicting them will be justified.

like1:
I have to say this again, the selfishness we brew these days in our Igbo families, I really don't get it. I am sure the problems between your father and the brothers arose because either your father or mother is trying to be Lord over them just because they live in your house and they resisted.

Your parents should learn to tolerate his brothers. As you said, they can't go and live in the bush, the so called ancestral land till they build theirs and you also know they are not capable to.

Imagine, what your father and his siblings are going through and you think later it will not be the same between you and your siblings. Let me tell you what will happen, if you guys succeed in pushing your uncles out. The next fight will start between you and your siblings over same house. I am telling you from experience, it is psychological. I has happened in many families I know, even mine.

Moreover, which relationship do you want to maintain with your cousins when through your parents you chased them away from the house.

This is the same problem that happened in my paternal family and now happening between my maternal uncles. People will never learn. The level of selfishness these days is really overwhelming. I don't get it.

My story;
If you like learn from it.

My uncle built an up-stair (big house) in the early 80's. Both families all live in the city, so we just come back to stay in the village house during Xmas and sometimes Easter. Within the few days in the village, their mum and mum will always quarrel. I mean sometimes even physical because both women were always at loggerheads with flimsy things. E.g one of my brothers (a kid then) 'pooed or peed' in the compound, my mum was cooking here and not there. So this quarrel has been there for years when we were kids till our late teenage years when it escalated. My Dad even though not buoyant, started to build a house but then they were not even patient enough for my Dad to near completion of the house before we were sent packing. My Dad had to sell a small property in the city to even roof the building. Then we moved. Of course the relationship dwindled, everybody started minding his or her business.

Now, in less than 7 years, we are better of. Completed my Dad's building, built another with complete finishing and live better and bigger. However their house remained uncompleted as it has been, no fence, not tiled, no paint and all that. Now, they all want a closer relationship but naturally it can't happen, the discord is there already. The news around the village now is that my cousins (now adults and married) are quarreling on who will occupy upstair of the house and who will stay down. Imagine.

Don't neglect people. Nobody is God. Everybody fit pick.

ok, we get it, your family is successful now.

BUT the point is, when you are living in another man's house, you need to behave yourself.

Your brother should not be shitting everywhere and you mum should be cooking in the right place.

I am not saying your relatives don't have any blame, i am just pointing out some things in your story.

My mum's sister's kid shits on the floor and uses our curtains to clean his ass! My mom scolds the boy and then lectures her sister on why her kids are not well trained. This boy was 6 years old at the time. I hated anytime they were around.