₦airaland Forum

ScotMisile:
The worst is that if he continues with you, he will be for ever depressed,even if he forgives you.
Our pride is our woman.
Women, pls do not cheat because your husband cheats.... we are not the same...you have breasts, hips,backside,mothwr of our kids, our family married you, our parents child, our ego....we run after you,We pay bride price, we spend on you, we protect you,so our reward is the exclusiveness of that secret garden..if not,then it all doesn't make sense to us.... Etc.

No man forgives sexual sin from a woman. . Never ever possible.. .That love dies a natural death, buried and forgotten. It becomes irritating to us.. .we see the guy all over you. ..We hate the guy.... And I can go on and on and on. .... WE DO NOT FORGIVE SEX, FORNICATION, CHEATING, SIDE GUY.... . NEVER, EVER, NADAAAAA

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

AreaFada2:
Ma'am sorry for your predicament.

But honestly hardly any man can forgive. He might claim to forgive but he won't have peace of mind. He might even see you as a danger to his life. Who's to say your lover cannot knock him off to get you back? He paid your bride price ad your family gave you to him to be part of his family forever!

It's not just about the "mechanical" sex but the fact that another man just chop his "jewel" clean mouth. Not once BUT MANY times. Essentially a second husband sef for a while.

Also every man wants to sow his seed. If you watch NatGeo you will even see it with males of animals. That his wife could bring the child of another man to him adds to the disgust. At least a cheating hubby won't be able to deceive his wife into thinking another woman's child from outside is hers.

Now we know that about 35% of firstborn kids belong to another man and about 30% of all kids belong to another man outside. A relative's three kids turned out not to be his. He died soon after accidentally finding out.
So the consequences can be severe.

I'm almost sure of one thing, if you had conceived by a rogue sperm from you married colleague, you would have covered your tracks VERY nicely and hubby would never have found out.

Apportioning blame and torturing oneself won't help anyone. Better to come to terms with reality at hand.

It's better he moves on if he cannot forgive to the point to trust, cherish and love you same way he did before. Better for you to suffer this pain now at once than suffer it slowly for years to come in the name of remaining together and he reminds you of it at every slight provocation.

What matters is to forgive yourself and move on too.

Good luck.

Shibaraba:
I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

Great6Pack:
The worst set of hypocrites in this world are men. You can go Bleep as you like either as married man or while dating but it is a taboo for her to do it.

Let it be known here that I am not in anyway in support of cheating while married or courting. But let the truth be told, if you access 10 men, married or courting, at least 6 of them had at one time had sex with someone not their mate. One thing is sure, if this babe is the one that the man confessed to, she will happily forgive him and move ahead with the relationship.

Why can't men sometimes do same. Especially when you know your mate isn't promiscuous but was overtaken by moment of weakness?

Sis, please gather yourself together and concentrate on your work and life. I give you 3 months, a RESPONSIBLE guy will be dying to be your man. And if your present guy (soon to be ex) comes back, tell him he was in the past but you have moved on.

Please abuse me ONLY if you know you are innocent and never cheat. God is watching!!!

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

Butterscotch92:
I understand. We have talked about this. But it's difficult to move on with the guilt, regret and sense of loss. And I want to do anything to help him heal.

theButterfly:
According to your post, he already said he forgave you (which is respectable of him), but that he doesn't want a relationship with you anymore (which shows he's a man w| standards). You can't expect any sane person to continue a r|ship w| someone who has cheated on them (had sex with another party) not once but four times. Girl, put yourself in his shoes.

Trust is very difficult to repair once it's broken.

Move on and learn from this.

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Butterscotch92:
I understand. We have talked about this. But it's difficult to move on with the guilt, regret and sense of loss. And I want to do anything to help him heal.

EgunMogaji2:
From my point of view, the relationship is doomed and now just a waste of time. Without any judgement on morality it’s just best to move on.

That being said I did have a coworker many years ago in the USA whose wife was impregnated during an extra marital affair. They stayed together, he fought the other guy in court and won adoption of the baby.

So never say never.

akilo1:
The last time

i forgive my girlfriend and have sex with her she gave me Gonorrhea

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

WackyJ1:
It's difficult because We have been there before.
I have forgiven a cheating girlfriend several times and I have heard several confessions, admissions of Guilt and Admissions of a desire to change but guess what. It didn't end well. The person had not changed.

I will never do it again because for it to happen the first time and according to you 4 different times, then it means that the girl doesn't Love me or respect me enough regardless of whatever words come from her mouth.

Secondly, Let's take a breakdown look at your actions from what you have told us here
For a smart man, if you told the full confession to your man just as you had told us here then there are certain things that will not help your case at all with him. And I am going to explain to you in a way that no one on this thread has.

1. The fact that it didn't happen just once, not twice not thrice but FOUR TIMES.
You didn't repent the first time, you didn't repent the second time, you still went to enjoy it the third time until something happened the fourth time that made you stop.
It is easier to understand that it was a mistake if it happened just once, but the fact that it happened 4 times, removes any defense that it was just a mistake.
I had a female friend who cheated on her boyfriend with another guy in a car then. She actually enjoyed car sex and she cried and confessed the next day but you? You enjoyed it 4 more times before your senses came.

I'm sorry but I don't believe your moment of weakness storyline. It is not plausible and if your boyfriend reasons like me then you don't stand a chance.

But I am not done, let's move on.

2. The fact that it was a married man did not even stop you. If you had cheated with a single guy that would have been a different thing. Your case is more than just betraying a man, your ex-boyfriend, you also betrayed another woman's marriage. It shows an underlying lack of conscience. Once again the fact that your conscience/guilt did not kick in until you had enjoyed the forbidden fruit 4 times shows that underneath, deep down, regardless of whatever you might think of yourself as a good person and all that, there is something there that is dangerous.

Once again, if it was just once then perhaps we can understand your Moment of weakness angle but the fact that you did it 4 times with another woman's husband and that, that fact didn't stop you from going back the third and fourth time means that there is more to it than the moment of weakness angle that you are playing.

3. You had sex in a car.
This part is a painful part for the man because it shows a general lack of respect for yourself. Car sex to the imagination of someone who is not involved in it looks degrading to the parties involved. Now, this is where you have lied to us, to your boyfriend and probably to yourself.


Are you explaining the first incident or all the other incidences? If sleeping with him in the car was because it wasn't premeditated then what about the second, the third and the fourth time too? You continued entering the car knowing you had had sex with the man and then the sex continued.
The fact that you did it the second, third and fourth time cancels any excuse about the first time not being premeditated. That fact is no longer relevant. Now it is just a matter of you loving car sex. But I can only imagine the excuse you gave for the second, third and fourth time.


4. Did you confess to your boyfriend that you have not cut off the married friend? I highly doubt it, I will explain why in a moment. But let us assume that you did. Considering the first two points, what does it look like? You had a moment of weakness with another woman's husband and this moment of weakness led to 4 different incidences of sex. AND YET YOU DIDN'T CUT HIM OFF What does that say about you? it negates your entire moment of weakness storyline. It makes your remorse look hollow and insincere. In fact, if I were in your ex's shoes, that singular fact will obliterate every possibility of us ever getting back together.

You really need to ask yourself why you still kept in contact with the married man. Somewhere deep down, you're lying to yourself about something.

Your remorse and your guilt were not strong enough to make you block the married man to help your case with your ex just like it wasn't enough to stop you from sleeping with him four times.

5. A woman never tells you everything. A woman's confession is only 20% of the real truth.
This is this reason why I doubted that you told your boyfriend everything. If you had a moment of weakness that made you sleep with a married man four different times then you sure as hell don't have the emotional strength to tell your boyfriend the full truth. If your boyfriend knows this principle then in addition to the other four points that I have mentioned above then you really stand no chance.

If your boyfriend has a friend like me, then you have zero chances of every getting back to him.
I'm sorry but the best thing you can do for yourself and for your ex is to leave him alone and work on yourself.

TonyeBarcanista:
Stop mentioning God!

Every man must face the consequences his his action! She Cheated, she didn't do evangelism!

She was caught, she didn't voluntarily confess!

NB: If I was her ex I won't cut off all forms of communication with her completely

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?