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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? (59090 Views)
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Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by obstead200(m): 6:50am On Dec 19, 2019 |
DenreleDave:he is ungrateful and inconsiderate. Can u imagine the stupid excuse "we are not legally married" What about the baby? What should happen to it? Why make it face a broken home? Why can't he work on his marriage? 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Nobody: 6:53am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Burggerxbabe:why did you ignore the last question? Will you allow your single son with no kids to marry a divorcee with 4 to 5 children? |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by IDERAWOLE(m): 6:59am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: I tried reading other comments before dropping mine, I do that sometimes to be sure I'm not too hard on posters. The truth is that you got married without knowing it, apparently, the way you spoke sounded like someone railroaded into the traditional wedding you did. It's very possible that what you had between yourself then was just lust and not love, and when pregnancy came the eyes of both of you became clear. Now, don't judge your success in the marriage simply on the tension between the two of you now. You could've have enjoyed the relationship better if you know the Dynamics of marital relationship. This is what you must study, don't underate it's importance. Like someone said here among the comments, even if you divorce this one, if you're still ignorant of this dynamics, the second one will fail too. For now, let me tell you, every woman is beautiful, sexy, romantic, the job is in the hands of both of you. We all differ, but we all have our strength and weaknesses. A successful marriage is one who appreciates both in each other's and maximize the strengths and overlook the weaknesses. The initiative for reconciliation and progress lies with the man, women are created to respond to the action of their men. So, clear your head, initiate the kind of marriage you want with that wife of yours and you'll see the response you're dreaming of. It's never too late to reignite the flame of love and passion you once had before the pregnancy. No woman is bad until the man gives up on working on the marriage. No woman will take a side chic in your office and lie low. Forget those fine looking chics in your office, you'll be surprised to know that your wife is more beautiful if you give her attention and funding. Is your wife earning money or salary? Better ensure that angle first. Nobody is happy without a source of income. 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by obaaderemi: 6:59am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:Your life is not in a mess! You've still got your good health and your entire life ahead of you. Pull out of that toxic relationship before it puts your life in real mess. Give yourself some time before you enter into something serious again. You've got only one child, right? Do you want to wait until you got three with the wrong woman? But,wait. You've not really told us what the problem is. Have you ever caught her with another man or something like that? If not I think you can still work on it. 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Chikelue2000(m): 6:59am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Ginaz:.....can we get married?.....u sound so unique n matured....I hope dis is u |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Rhaspody(m): 7:02am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Better separate from her. And remain single for a while |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by posemeke: 7:08am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Hello friend, just read your heart felt story and I am sorry for wat you are passing thru. I have equally read from other advisers, and some of them make sense. However, I want to share this link for you to read and even use your Bible along but before then pray for God's spirit to guide and open ur mind. Thank you. https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1101996032#h=1:0 For more information please visit: www.JW.org and search for family happiness or marriage. Thank you... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by STAdom(m): 7:16am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Aboy, go and work on your marriage and be responsible |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 7:18am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: You have the rest of your lives to live together and you guys are just starting. Can you live a life of unhappiness for the next 50 yrs? I believe you should explore every option of reconciliation with your wife. You guys loved each other and you can bring that love back. Before you think of divorce, act like there's no other option than to stay and see how you guys can manage your excesses and love in the happiness you had earlier. The lady you speak about might be looking like everything perfect that your wife doesn't have. She's like a breath of fresh air...perfect rebound. You don't know the demons you will be fighting once she also settles in. So please be careful about settling down for now because your judgement is clouded with your wife's flaws and it's making you see this new lady as everything you need. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by gratiaeo(m): 7:18am On Dec 19, 2019 |
1 op said he's a sanguine, and here it's What are the weaknesses of a sanguine?Op your marriage can not work because you did not prepare for marriage, you married because you got her pregnant not because of love 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by DenreleDave(m): 7:20am On Dec 19, 2019 |
obstead200: So it's the man fault now abi.. What if she is cheating and the man doesn't no yet. Did u read this part?? "" "" "" There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else."" "" "" "" "" |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by theoilguy: 7:23am On Dec 19, 2019 |
bukatyne: Thank you sir for this piece.. OP, listen to him.. give your marriage a second chance and yes, you are married traditionally which is what counts in Nigeria anyway. You are both very young so there would normally be tension and disagreement.. Even older couples quarrel and fight so nothing new here.. Give your marriage a second chance and work on it fully. Treat her better and she ll reciprocate. Nothing here guarantees that your new girlfriend would not be worse than your wife when you eventually settle with her.. Las las, you ll be alright. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by lovchalice(f): 7:24am On Dec 19, 2019 |
DenreleDave:. Who will he leave the mother of his child for. Why can't he make efforts to heal his relationship. He is busy saying he is unhappy. S woman that have been with him for years, without bride price or wedding, does he know how she is feeling |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Truthbites: 7:25am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Mindfulness: You didn't get the question, will it be divorce if he quits the current marriage? Is he supposed to return the 'something' he paid on her head? ( To you and ur 175 people liking your comment) |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Sensenan: 7:25am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Bros even if you are legally married to this lady and the marriage is not working must you continue. Let two of try and see a marriage counselor to know if things might change. And the only way you can confirm if you are legally married traditionally is to go back to lady's village and ask. Tradition defers. |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by ddestiny20(m): 7:26am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: That is marriage for you,i went through worst but this is my10 years of marriage, the next woman will be worst that her so the best bet is to find a way to live with her and understand her, she is just angry that she left a thousand men just to spend the rest of her life with you. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by MedicH: 7:29am On Dec 19, 2019 |
midnighter: Yes na how else do i put it. Some ppl get married and are able to accommodate themselves. For some people it's war. |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by amaks: 7:35am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: Please leave before it pushes you to suicide. You're not married yet. And never live your life based in other people's expectations or what they'll say or think. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Nobody: 7:37am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Dignity5: It's easier to give theory statement. Explain further |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by asatemple(f): 7:38am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Teaveapoet:God bless you my dear 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by asatemple(f): 7:42am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:my husband will always say that women are like Abakaliki rice, no matter how you wash it, you must definitely see sand. I keep saying it, it’s better for a man to marry 3 wives than 2. She is your wife period! 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by nobilie: 7:49am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Please treat your wife as your wife. With love and a baby heart, she went to your office to claim territory perhaps you gave her less attention. She obviously feels unfulfilled. What does she do now? If not busy, work on empowering her (a shop or let her go back to school. Say part time). Every marriage has its peak period of trouble if well handled, leads to a glorious time. Handle your marriage. Communicate. Cherish and love her. Let God lead in your home. You see, the moment couples stop praying together, you give room to the devil. |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Khingjames1: 7:50am On Dec 19, 2019 |
bukatyne:shugaboy6102 well I commend u wit ur approach Infact a job well done. The honestly truth is u ain't seeing her a wife and that wouldn't solve anything just bring urself back ask her to forgive u first den plan for way forward and that aunty around ur hus pls free her. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by GraGra247(m): 7:52am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: So why should your first decision be to marry another lady instead of remaining single. Do I smell hypocrisy? How do you even know the next lady won't be worse. If you decide for another lady be sure to agree with your wife about both of you parting ways. Else she'll claim you've been having affair and that's why you treat her bad. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by uuzba(m): 8:07am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Mindfulness:To carry prick left and right, the OP knows that one. To marry the girl now, he's asking and answering question. - If they told you at 24, to leave that girlfriend alone, you wouldn't agree. Now see the nonsense story |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by bindukwe(m): 8:07am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102: I think you should have a dialogue with your wife. Tell her the things she's doing wrong and how you are complicit in that. There's no way your 100% guilt free of the happenings. She should do the same too. Terms and conditions should be reached. Leave everything to feelings and things will fall apart like this. Things have to be clearer than they are now. Also.. Its not self evident by any stretch of the imagination that marriage is something that should provide happiness. Its a false idea and not true. We are all full of shit! and marriage as an idea tries to fix that by pairing 2 idiots together to make one reasonable individual. Its an old idea. The bible proposes the same idea with the message of 2 becoming 1. Life is hard enough, surviving on your own without help moves you a step closer to your grave. You need someone that reminds you of your stupidity, so you can get better. With your strengths paired, raising an infant into a reasonable adult is a lot easier than it'd be without the pairing. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by uuzba(m): 8:09am On Dec 19, 2019 |
GraGra247:I really want to slap the OP. |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by uuzba(m): 8:12am On Dec 19, 2019 |
gratiaeo:And now he's carrying his prick to another woman. Should we not just beat this buy up? |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by alizma: 8:18am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:Send her to her parents house and remain single without serious commitment to any lady for a whole year. Within this period, you can think of your life properly while studying her from afar. If she wants a home with you, she will adjust and seek for forgiveness while you will also have time to identify your errors. I can assure you that you will be making another mistake if you chose to step into another woman's life without given yourself a break. The reason is that you never had a life of a bachelor and your supposed wife is also lacking the same thing. If you were 24 when u got her pregnant, I aspect her to be 23 downward as at that time. You guys skipped something and you need time to convince yourself that the sacrifice Worth it 1 Like |
Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by KingGBsky(m): 8:18am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Amanee: I follow nairaland so much and what I see about the ladies here is so predictable. If this was about a lady not happy in her home you will see all the feminists all out to tell the woman to quit the marriage, that her happiness is what matters most. Now it’s about a man not happy in a home that’s not even a complete marriage yet, you’ll ladies are asking him to endure. Chai. It’s a pity. Bro do what will give you happiness. No woman has the right to put a man in unhappiness. For what reason? If she chooses to make your life a living hell, then leave her and be with whoever gives you happiness. A man will work and provide for his home for one woman to make his life a living hell. Them never born that woman. Modified: Seriously you shouldn’t be talking about going into another marriage yet. Take it easy bro and learn a lesson. |
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