₦airaland Forum

midnighter:
YOU are very funny for talking about "situations like this" instead of the one WE READ ABOUT IN THE OP !

.From your statement that I quoted,both are interwoven.

wiconse:
I don't understand what is the problem of ladies. I met one two weeks ago, though an old friend of mine. We went on a date. Not even up to two weeks, she has started to bill me.

Yours is better bro..
I helped a young lady find her lost purse in a bus last week Thursday. And while looking into the purse, I saw her phone number written on a mini diary. So, I decided to call her to hand her stuff over to her.

She picked the call and was very happy. By the way, I stay abit far from where she lives. So, she resolved to coming for its collection in the evening time.

Lo and behold, she showed up around 5:40pm and I handed over her purse to her, bid her goodbye and turned back to be leaving. After taking about 3steps, she stopped to tell me she had no fee for her return fare and pleaded if I could reimburse her.

The very mistake I made was giving her the last #500 I had in my wallet. She must have seen some nice guy.

Would you believe should I tell you that this young lady sent me a text the following morning(5:30am) that she needed #5,000 to settle bills and annual level at school?

I called her around 7am to be sure if she knew who she sent a text and re-established her knowledge of me.
Consequently, I gave her a polite lecture that she should have recieved from home a long time ago: on content, dignity, timing and self esteem.
Asking for such from a total stranger showed how much of self respect she had.

JONNYSPUTE:
.From your statement that I quoted,both are interwoven.

Then you should have written it like that to put your point across instead of making it as if Im being silly for referring to the topic instead of some hypothetical situation that you made up in your head.

DeeMain:
It's a shame you plagiarized this beautiful article verbatim and still had the gall to go defensive when called out by luminouz.


Shame dey catch me on your behalf.

See it as a retweet

Defenderalert:
Its not totally true.Working class high profile women get divorced too.

I think its a matter of compatibility because our great grandmothers were majorly stay at home, home makers and seldom got divorced.

Absolutely valid point... But stay at home mom as they were, they didn't slack in carrying out their expected duties. They were the real role models, same goes for the great grand fathers with utmost virtues. We've deviated alot in recent times. Lord help us.

murphyibiam15:
You're thinking more like a Muslim guy, lol

I don't know how Muslim guys think, I am irreligious, though I accept the existence of a Deity.

My way of thinking has been developed over years of dating, studying books, observing married couples and the dynamics of marriage; starting even before I myself got married. One singular thing that I believe Islam got right is the acceptance of polygamy and the ease of the right to divorce. Sometimes it is absolutely important that one can make those choices. Christianity seems to have tragically gone off the logical path in prohibiting both.

luminouz:
Sorry ma'am, unless I'm getting paid to do that,I can't start searching over the million posts NL has.


Are you saying you sat down and drafted this article yourself?

Are you saying she can't?

Gordieshegz:
Yours is better bro..
I helped a young lady find her lost purse in a bus. Looking into the purse, I saw her phone number written on a mini diary. So, I decided to call her to hand her stuff over to her.

She picked the call and was very happy. By the way, I stay abit far from where she lives. So, she resolved to coming for its collection it the evening time.

Lo and behold, she showed up around 5:40pm and I handed over her purse to her, bid her goodbye and turned to be leaving. She suddenly stopped me to tell me she had no fee for her return fare and pleaded if I could reimburse her.

The very mistake I made was giving her the last #500 I have in my wallet.

Would you believe should I tell you that this young lady sent me a text the following morning(5:30am) that she needed #5,000 to settle bills and annual level at school?

I called at around 7am to be sure if she knew who she sent a text and re-established her knowledge of me.
And I gave her a polite lecture she should have learnt from home a long time ago: on content, dignity, timing and self esteem. Asking for such from a total stranger showed how much of self respect she had.

LMFAO. Majority of them are foolish

MARX77:
Absolutely valid point... But stay at home mom as they were, they didn't slack in carrying out their expected duties. They were the real role models, same goes for the great grand fathers with utmost virtues. We've deviated alot in recent times. Lord help us.

Many housewives would be at home throughout the day and do not even remember to cook until 9pm. Addictions to Telemundo and keeping up with the Kardishians yii nani..spits

All I know is, a man with vision will always carry his girl along. No sane man moves, leaving his girl behind.

When a man leaves a lady, it's obvious the lady wasn't his first choice, someone somewhere was, and he was building her vision too.

jackals:
Instead of ubunja to be educating the women folks about improving their self worth too, he won't. his loyalty is only to the brotherhood. selfish lot.

Thank you OP, I have gained one or two things from this write-up

Hahaha. That's not necessary. I'm glad I learnt a lot of things from you. He's taught me how to swim with the sharks.

Gordieshegz:
Yours is better bro..
I helped a young lady find her lost purse in a bus last week Thursday. And while looking into the purse, I saw her phone number written on a mini diary. So, I decided to call her to hand her stuff over to her.

She picked the call and was very happy. By the way, I stay abit far from where she lives. So, she resolved to coming for its collection in the evening time.

Lo and behold, she showed up around 5:40pm and I handed over her purse to her, bid her goodbye and turned back to be leaving. After taking about 3steps, she stopped to tell me she had no fee for her return fare and pleaded if I could reimburse her.

The very mistake I made was giving her the last #500 I had in my wallet. She must have seen some nice guy.

Would you believe should I tell you that this young lady sent me a text the following morning(5:30am) that she needed #5,000 to settle bills and annual level at school?

I called her around 7am to be sure if she knew who she sent a text and re-established her knowledge of me.
Consequently, I gave her a polite lecture that she should have recieved from home a long time ago: on content, dignity, timing and self esteem.
Asking for such from a total stranger showed how much of self respect she had.

Are you serious? ?
Is she fatherless?? Chai

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

this one is so pained. I hope you rant with this same energy when ladies are sponsored by their partners to school and on graduating, decide he isn't good enough for them anymore.

If there's any gender exploiting the other, it's the female exploiting the male and still playing the victim when things don't turn out the way their manipulative ass expects.

CHoccolaTE:
What do you mean by "more value than a maid could add"?
So in addition to cooking and cleaning and taking care of children women are also under obligation to provide for men and be breadwinners too?

While all the men do is go off to work and return back to rest?

I fully agree with you. Women should face the housework and not be breadwinners. It's unnatural.

CHoccolaTE:
I dont think you even live in Nigeria, Nigeria where the average man tells himself he is too big to do housework and cooking so are women now supposed to handle the homefront also slit bills just to prove herself otherwise the man would be justified in leaving her because she contributed nothing?

You are correct. And she's not contributing nothing. She's contributing a lot of her time, energy and effort for the well being of the family and the sexual; and sometimes emotional; comfort of her husband. Only a weak man would fail to recognize that.

There is this woman who worked while the husband was in school and she had to take care of their three children and the husband's parents from her meager teacher salary. She actually suffered. The world would have termed her 'wicked' if she decided to leave her children to some charity and particularly the husband's parents to pursue her dreams, right? She would be this 'irresponsible woman ' who left her children cos she was 'selfish', right? She endured it all and now the husband has a second wife!

This other uneducated woman was solely responsible for their children's upkeep, education, feeding and so on. There was no market day she didn't go to get stuffs to buy and sell for the wellbeing of her family. She is a beauty too. She suffered it all. But you know what? The husband got a second wife after he got a carpentry job from a samaritan who wanted him to have a good life with his family.

Another woman I know suffered more. She went through a lot to push her husband up, to get a job, to refine him and so on. My sister, he didn't think twice to go marry a more succulent woman the moment money started rolling in.

...I can go on and on. Not fiction or gossips o, real life experiences I witnessed and still seeing around me. Some women may be this lazy as you described but more are hardworking and are supporting their families everyday. More are breadwinners and I know some. Kai, my own mum did a lot for us. You know what, some of our men are just forgetful and inconsiderate. They don't appreciate their women, the mothers of their children and it is all about their egos and pride.

So, this generalizing is kinda off, for me. Women are super beings, strong , supportive and kind. We should support ourselves. Good day ma'am.

Riele:
Oga face your front !

My dear goan find a way to end your man hating problems...asap!!!

Gordieshegz:
Many housewives would be at home throughout the day and do not even remember to cook until 9pm. Addictions to Telemundo and keeping up with the Kardishians yii nani..spits

Lol, this generation in general comes with a whole new class of faults... And we see it as modernization...

ngwababe:
All I know is, a man with vision will always carry his girl along. No sane man moves, leaving his girl behind.

When a man leaves a lady, it's obvious the lady wasn't his first choice, someone somewhere was, and he was building her vision too.

no one likes a burden. If she prefers to fold her arms and be carried along without making an effort to walk with him, he'd likely drop the burden at some point, especially when he realizes he deserves better. A relationship isn't a charity.

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

Hahaha. That's right. Kudos to you!

Men are only interested in a woman who could bring stability to their lives, not other way round anymore.

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

Is this an advert pretty lady? I would have asked you out but I prefer women with more flesh on the chest

Rigel95:
My dear goan find a way to end your man hating problems...asap!!!

Be guided ,
I'm not a man hater !

livebyday:
You are a teenager right ?
Don't worry some day you will understand

Post

You sound idealistic and not realistic


My dear I repeat , it is called self development.

This mind set you have is why marriages crash . You have two people of different backgrounds with their own baggage coming to a marriage with expectations?

A marriage or relationship isn't where you go to fix your issues ! You are an adult fix yourself before getting committed to a relationship.

So if you come to me with nothing but culinary skills as your knowledge base then that is entirely your fault

I am not here to fix you, it's hard enough fixing me talkless of you

This is why I always say, not everyone should be in a relationship or marriage! Some people just have the wrong ideology.

Your partner isn't there to fix your issues, this is why alot of relationships in Nigeria feel so stressful and tiring. Because alot of womenhave your mindset and come there with their baggage looking for whom to dump on .

If you are old enough to decide move in with him then you are old enough to have figured out what you need to do to fix your life

There are a few valid points in most of the submissions above.

But in truth, if you are with a not-good-enough lady, the best thing is to leave the relationship and not to continue keeping her.

Again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with spouses encouraging and helping each other out. I assure you, no one goes into relationships/marriage perfectly fixed. There's always a need. There's always a room for development. As far as we continue to aspire for greater heights, we would keep having needs. This is where spouses help each other...

You get?

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

Your just a pain bitch suffery from her past because she as choose not to move on

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

Don't mind them,
Allow them to write,
Women are in all profession,
I don't understand where all these things are coming from, women are very hard working, they work, trade, they are engineers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, etc.
Go to the market they are there selling,

Where did women go wrong?
If you come in contact with anyone misbehaving, just correct them, all these writeups are embarrassing,

IPhone 8 Plus 64gb and 256gb for grab
WhatsApp or call

luminouz:
Sorry ma'am, unless I'm getting paid to do that,I can't start searching over the million posts NL has.


Are you saying you sat down and drafted this article yourself?

The lavyllily is even a slay queen

ireneidiva:
Then date your type. Simple.

His type always end up fixing their women, but will come to form kingkong on social media. We've seen them all.

Any man that forms intolerance online, check well, dem no dey breath for house.

Shoutout 2 all d independent women around d world.who hustle hard instead of depending on men

TONYE001:
There are a few valid points in most of the submissions above.

But in truth, if you are with a not-good-enough lady, the best thing is to leave the relationship and not to continue keeping her.

Again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with spouses encouraging and helping each other out. I assure you, no one goes into relationships/marriage perfectly fixed. There's always a need. There's always a room for development. As far as we continue to aspire for greater heights, we would keep having needs. This is where spouses help each other...

You get?

I agree with you 101%

No one goes into a relationship 100% fixed I agree but it's wrong to put that responsibility on your partner!

As an adult before you embark on a committed relationship or marriage you must be able to stand as an adult and take responsibility for your finances , religious beliefs, and emotional stability same with your life goals and career ambition. If you aren't mature enough to handle all.these for yourself then you have no business being in a committed relationship, stick to flings and casual relationships.

There is this old saying in the west, before you marry someone first marry yourself. This means you must be able to stand on your own two feet before you take the hand of another .. how can one talk of being a parent when you can't handle your own life choices.

It's not rocket science

RisenPhoenix:
I don't know how Muslim guys think, I am irreligious, though I accept the existence of a Deity.

My way of thinking has been developed over years of dating, studying books, observing married couples and the dynamics of marriage; starting even before I myself got married. One singular thing that I believe Islam got right is the acceptance of polygamy and the ease of the right to divorce. Sometimes it is absolutely important that one can make those choices. Christianity seems to have tragically gone off the logical path in prohibiting both.

Lol..I said it, I knew it that you had some Islamic ideologies, I don't find it had to detect

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

And what is wrong in selling all these

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

youu are very correct.

They will come to social media and display motivational talks like;


"Ladyk1ng", "independent chic"
"i pay my bills"
"u don't need a man to build ur own empire"
"u don't need a wealthy husband become a wealthy wife"
"I work hard for my bills" etc

and nah man moni u take gather body start d weavon and make-up biz so oh. and even with ur income u still dey task the man for Christmas clothes, for asoebi dress, "to change my phone" and for there's-this dress-i-saw-on-jumia baby. heheheheeh


my problem is not them making d money but them coming to SM to disturb us. yen yen yen yen