ImaIma1:


If you get married and you don't quarrel those first few years, check yourself...except you were already cohabiting before marriage.

That's how people keep enduring and keeping everything in mind till they explode one day.

Yes I would check myself what I have been doing right that makes us love and respect each other the more cause that first 3years from most marriages I have seen is that time the love even get stronger and they still act like they are still dating....so if you agure most time in your first year and always have misunderstanding then that marriage have a problem.

It's not easy to pay this sacrifice in becoming a good wife that accommodate.

My wife inorder to mitigate the pressure associated with my Mum's visit has to plan it during children's holiday. So as to avoid the stress of children's school runs of waking early, preparing other things for their school etc. And this was agreed by us and it worked for us. Less complain, Less stress, though some visit could come as emergency and would be treated as such.

Sometimes My mum could assist her in some task like bathing the children not always anyway. But for Africa magic you can't seperate them...lol

She has come and now she has gone back to her husband house. The visit isn't FOR EVER, so why are some women seeing visit or to stay as not acceptable is not appropriate and they should change.

You said it all IT'S JUST AWHILE. May your children and family continue to see women such like you as golden vessels even in your advance age. Amen

Pearl05:


I dont have any help so the whole work was on me. From going to mkt, cooking, cleaning, washing ( have machine but prefer hand wash for baby clothes) the only thing mum does was to eat her meal, bath herself and watch her Africa magic. Not even to bath the little man.

By the time she left everyone was saying that we took good care of mum as she was looking fresh and plump.
And I was the opposite but I just said to myself it's just for a while.

Triniti:
A kitchen is place where you cook food, an intelligent woman would never lay claim to it. This is what women in the olden days used to do, you don’t expect someone that live in the same house with you to take permission whenever he/she wants to eat?

They may not need to take your permission outright but they still need to be considerate because people (women) are trying to organise and budget for their feeding which a good visitor should be mindful not to scatter.

SweetyZinta:


Where are we taking this world to? Why do people enjoy cutting off other people in their lives? Either peaceful or troublesome Inlaws should be welcomed. Everyone should just know their boundaries and maintain their lane. My paternal and maternal uncles and aunts still visit and assist us in any way they can. People should not forget their source/root. Always remember that old age is there to treat you as you have treated yourself when you were younger. If you good, good you shall see, if you cut people off, boredom will kill you. I just noticed that the people who cut off relatives from their home, their children also desert them when they have made it. Be Nice my people. A word is enough for the wise!!!

. Thanks alot for this.

safarigirl:
quite the blanket statement for people you don't know.

People like Irina own their sh*t a lot of times, because they are hardly people pleaseers. They are b*tches in every sense of it.

And you never take people's words, you judge them by their actions.

You mean people that washed their dirty linen in Public!!!

You don't have to know them before you know the reason for their separation!!!

They tell you without mincing words!!!!

eni4real:
What is visiting without staying??

How do you expect them to visit this morning and must go that same day??

They will stay

Why not if they live in the same city? Even if they want to stay for sometime, anything more than 2 weeks should not be encouraged

dominique:


Why not if they live in the same city? Even if they want to stay for sometime, anything more than 2 weeks should not be encouraged

2weeks..
Now, they have tried!!!

I was responding to the lady that said, they should leave the same day!!!

majestique:


do you even understand the topic?

If it was about d topic, i wouldn't av mentioned you, madam think you will realize my response was tailored for your comment.

My in-laws comes after my own heart. I love my husbands relatives like they are my very own. I know we have individual differences but come on if they don’t visit who will? Emergency days can come o and we need them and even if emergency days never comes they are still precious to our hearts. My opinion

Meeyankee:
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

Very common these days. I have a rich uncle whom his younger ones sacrificed alot to make whom he is today, but his wife has totally turned him against us. No help whatsoever from him, you dare not visit his home self

You are Right on.
May God bless you all

NELLY1990:
My in-laws comes after my own heart. I love my husbands relatives like they are my very own. I know we have individual differences but come on if they don’t visit who will? Emergency days can come o and we need them and even if emergency days never comes they are still precious to our hearts. My opinion

ImaIma1:


And you guys are here back lashing women . Just see what you wrote...this is exactly the issue that causes the issues between wives and mums-inlaw. Someone coming to run your house.

Amtruth
Bigiyaro
youwanbanme

Can you guys see that it's not peculiar to women. See your fellow man

"CONTROL" is one major problem with women, it quiet funny how wives see there hubby relative as threats ... if only women could think logically wives should know they occupy seperate spot in a man's heart , just as family get there own spot so why the tussel.
When a man as the impression his wife loves & tolerate is family ,he will fight 4 her if the need arise without the wife avin to raise her voice. a woman with good heart will tolerate her hubby family cos someday she wil be a mother inlaw tew.

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

Yea keep the same joyful energy when your wife's relations come visiting or staying.

Honeydenz:

Very common these days. I have a rich uncle whom his younger ones sacrificed alot to make whom he is today, but his wife has totally turned him against us. No help whatsoever from him, you dare not visit his home self

I am in the same position with you guys now. But man no just fit write plenty story down now.

safarigirl:
I have never seen a man tied to his family's apron, whose kids like him.

The greatest mistake a man can make, is to put his wife's decisions behind that of his family. You will end up old and alone, because your children will think you wicked and insensitive

Have you seen any man so tied to his family that he neglects his own immediate family (children & wife) never! becos no family will neva manipulate a man against his own children, buh i av seen so many wives that turn there hubby against his own family n when trouble comes these women flee.
A real man wil only take advice frm his wife or relatives but he wil decide what is best.

Certainly I must do that and I am doing so.

Siberry:


Yea keep the same joyful energy when your wife's relations come visiting or staying.

worworbabe:


The reason men don't have a problem is the woman's family always respect their daughter's husband. They treat him with respect and all join hands in caring for his needs.

But what do the men's relatives do to the woman? Complain about everything she does, disrespect her, compete unnecessarily with her and create issues for her where there is none.

it's my brothers house is what they will always say

Wow! Another Revelation.
No Family will never manipulate a man against his own family (Children and Wife) I add

youwanbanme:




Have you seen any man so tied to his family that he neglects his own immediate family (children & wife) never! becos no family will neva manipulate a man against his own children, buh i av seen so many wives that turn there hubby against his own family n when trouble comes these women flee.
A real man wil only take advice frm his wife or relatives but he wil decide what is best.

youwanbanme:





"CONTROL" is one major problem with women, it quiet funny how wives see there hubby relative as threats ... if only women could think logically wives should know they occupy seperate spot in a man's heart , just as family get there own spot so why the tussel.
When a man as the impression his wife loves & tolerate is family ,he will fight 4 her if the need arise without the wife avin to raise her voice. a woman with good heart will tolerate her hubby family cos someday she wil be a mother inlaw tew.

You didn't respond to what I quoted. You are still going on and on about women's flaws as if men are flawless angels with self control.

youwanbanme:




Have you seen any man so tied to his family that he neglects his own immediate family (children & wife) never! becos no family will neva manipulate a man against his own children, buh i av seen so many wives that turn there hubby against his own family n when trouble comes these women flee.
A real man wil only take advice frm his wife or relatives but he wil decide what is best.

Yes, I have, MULTIPLE TIMES.

It is so COMMON, so RAMPANT, that I cannot even begin to explain it's widespread nature.

I kneww a girl in school who hated men in general, because of how much of an asshole her father was to them, while paying attention to his extended family.

There are multiple tales of this, so much, some people even attribute it to jazz.

Never ke? Do men know what is happening half the time? Some don't even know what they are doing, na when you catch their children in school, you will know why kids prefer their mothers and her relatives, to fathers relatives and even fathers.

Meeyankee:
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

Bukatyne wet I won marry? I run for my life.

Blu03:
I don't know?.

You better go and know it because I will never tell you.....

ImaIma1:


You didn't respond to what I quoted. You are still going on and on about women's flaws as if men are flawless angels with self control.

lolz ! the topic itself makes women person of interest cos its majorly women that have problem puttin up or accomodating inlaws/relative, that doesnt mean men don't av flaws tew buh @least not on these subject matter. if my respond stil doesnt correlate with what you quoted... do you mind making it clearer

Skmoda360:

You better go and know it because I will never tell you.....

sshhhhh! Is the word by any chance...transgendered?

youwanbanme:




lolz ! the topic itself makes women person of interest cos its majorly women that have problem puttin up or accomodating inlaws/relative, that doesnt mean men don't av flaws tew buh @least not on these subject matter. if my respond stil doesnt correlate with what you quoted... do you mind making it clearer

If you didn't understand it, never mind.

NELLY1990:
My in-laws comes after my own heart. I love my husbands relatives like they are my very own. I know we have individual differences but come on if they don’t visit who will? Emergency days can come o and we need them and even if emergency days never comes they are still precious to our hearts. My opinion

You're really wise ma'am!

The easiest way a lady can win my heart forever is to love my siblings and mum! In fact, I'll go extra miles to make such a lady the happiest wife on earth.

I have come a long way with my family. We've been through thick and thin, cried and laughed together for a very long time.

No woman can restrain my lovely people from coming to my house. I'll try to emphasize that fact to any lady I'll be getting married to.

That's exactly my point brother.

They would indisputably win our hearts. There's no magic in that.

God bless you.

Jman06:
You're really wise ma'am!

The easiest way a lady can win my heart forever is to love my siblings and mum! In fact, I'll go extra miles to make such a lady the happiest wife on earth.

I have come a long way with my family. We've been through thick and thin, cried and laughed together for a very long time.

No woman can restrain my lovely people from coming to my house. I'll try to emphasize that fact to any lady I'll be getting married to.

TruthHurts100:


Don't confuse yourself abeg. Are you speaking for me or against me?

Which would you choose?

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

As for me, I like both my own and my woman relations to keep off.

https://www.nairaland.com/5674865/real-reason-african-nigerian-wives


Check this thread

Thank you dear.

Jman06:
You're really wise ma'am!

The easiest way a lady can win my heart forever is to love my siblings and mum! In fact, I'll go extra miles to make such a lady the happiest wife on earth.

I have come a long way with my family. We've been through thick and thin, cried and laughed together for a very long time.

No woman can restrain my lovely people from coming to my house. I'll try to emphasize that fact to any lady I'll be getting married to.

Amen and you too

AmTruth:
You are Right on.
May God bless you all