Sixfeetbelle:


Oga @healthserve good morning ooh. I dey greet. One of the reasons I follow you on this forum is that you usually give great advices, mature ones, so I believe you must be, too.

Asides, you sound very bitter this morning and I dey wonder, who do you?

Bitter ke. As i heard by God's spirit in me is what i dished out as i received it. Did you see her detest it?

healthserve:



Bitter ke. As i heard by God's spirit in me is what i dished out as i received it. Did you see her detest it?

I guess I'm used to seeing you detail why you are giving a particular advice so the abrupt and blunt "divorce him. You're evil" surprised me.

And yes, I agree. She should let the guy go. I'm not seeing the situation changing for the better after all the therapist idea.

Sixfeetbelle:


I guess I'm used to seeing you detail why you are giving a particular advice so the abrupt and blunt "divorce him. You're evil" surprised me.

And yes, I agree. She should let the guy go. I'm not seeing the situation changing for the better after all the therapist idea.

She herself placed mental blocks to not love him no matter ehat he does. Thiugh the power to be able to love him is within her. Amongst many other things I'm picking in my own inner truth discerning systems. To avoid wasting my precious counsel is ehy i called her whom she was and told her the right thing to do, to elt the man go. Maturity many times isn't using plenting words thats why i settled fro two this morning

" Witch " and " Divorce ". I hope you get my drift now


She's a useless human being. This one is past redemption. Her soul is dry bitter and narcissistic. Only the Holyspirit can help these kinds. Theraphy and cuddling her with niceties won't. If she came to me for theraphy with this, she's in trouble.


So sometimes i could be detailed other times I'll be abrupt, blunt and instant. As the Holyspirit leads me

Hmmmmm........I also need to let you know that in going to a counselor, your purpose is to find a solution to your situation so you shouldn’t go with prepared defense mechanisms for yourself.

Honest counseling can be difficult to accommodate but if you keep an open mind knowing that the end result of the exercise is basically for your good, you stand a better chance at it.

Girlwhocares:


I have opened up to two counsellors to seek for their professional therapy but they ended up been biased and sentimental,hence their involvement was fruitless.

However,there's no harm in trying another therapist who will more professional in his/her dealings.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and i will surely look into it.

@bankowner,
Thank you so much I've been looking up for counsellor(s) online to rebook appointment with and I'm open to all critics as long as I wil yield a positive result.

Once again,thank you.

Sixfeetbelle:


I guess I'm used to seeing you detail why you are giving a particular advice so the abrupt and blunt "divorce him. You're evil" surprised me.

And yes, I agree. She should let the guy go. I'm not seeing the situation changing for the better after all the therapist idea.

Can i share an information with you?

Cc Franchasng Na where you dey Nwanne

crackkhaus:

As much as your words might seem harsh, I'm inclined to add a like and a share to it.

I can't believe people are petting her.

Divorce the man already mehn..he will definitely be better for it because I don't see how she is helping/contributing to his life. No sex for years, no emotional support, no addition to his overall growth, NOTHING.
Just sitting there like a fvcking light fixture feeling like she's doing him a favour by staying married to him, acting like the victim, when in fact she is the antichrist herself.

Does her honesty and self awareness not matter?
Or the fact that she is taking every responsibility for her bad marriage? She even acknowledged the man’s goodness
She is just unhappy being married to the guy, she is not the devil (not to me at least)
I acknowledge that the husband deserves a better married life though, but with someone who can do it with him. It is selfish and wrong to not free him IMO. He would hurt initially, but be better off for it. She also deserves to be happy

Back to this, I feel you judge her too harshly
I am really curious, me cat? What would you tell your sister or daughter if she laid her heart bare like this about a bad/failing/failed relationship?
(Is it still the same as your submission here? Do let me know)
@ topic? Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are disempowered, trapped and or obliterated by marriage. They really do exist
Dear OP, I might know exactly how you are feeling. It is okay. What’s not okay is making your husband suffer for the way you feel. Free him for someone else to love (if you can’t make it work)
Wish you a happy life ahead (however you want it)

namiji2598:
madam I am not married yet, but I have enough experience in marriage cos I have stayed with so many married couples in my life and am assuring you that marriage is very hard to be perfect, in as much as u can't force love in to ur heart, u can only allow it grow. Ur husband should try winning your heart, he should read you very well and know ur heart desires, he should know the kind of man you need and he should try being that type, sometimes is not by jus being a good man sometimes is by being the right man, if you ar the type that desires clubs and party, no matter how he tries he can never win you unless he is also that type, of you ar the type that needs flowers but your husband only gives you money, he can never win your heart, if you ar the type that needs vacations and great sex but your husband never took u for vacation, he will never win your heart,he have to know ur heart and try feeding it
And how did you guys cope with sexual urge? Do u guys cheat?

I disagree with the bolded. Why will he change himself to suit his wife? Or is "accept me the way I am" patterns to only women?

There's no way he can change and win the heart of the OP.. Best thing is, they should divorce and find better happiness separately.

Girlwhocares:
Please help me,I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad i will make them feel,also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant,we hardly have any conversation,we do things differently,we share different rooms,no sex for the past 3years!even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage i can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday,we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, i hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best,which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times,I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely,bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because i know i might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.


Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind,my heart is heavy,I need someone to talk to,I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly dont need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through alots all i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

your pinchor or no contribution



Cc: healthserve I need to see her pinchor first because I now only advice sexy ladies, I repeat sexy ladies only!! No time for Mgbekes feeling funky

healthserve:




Can i share an information with you?

Is it like a secret? Cause I love secrets like crazy.

Yeah, you may

Ishilove:
Op what was that special reason that made you accept his marriage proposal in the first place?


Start from there first.

The usual...

- Escape from spinsterhood.

- Financial security.

Sixfeetbelle:


Is it like a secret? Cause I love secrets like crazy.

Yeah, you may

I have the full video

Sixfeetbelle:


Is it like a secret? Cause I love secrets like crazy.

Yeah, you may

When Jesus said in His word that whoever marries a divorced person has committed adultery do you know why He said it?

franchasng:
your pinchor or no contribution



Cc: healthserve I need to see her pinchor first because I now only advice sexy ladies only

Hahaha You'll soon be a daddy o

healthserve:



She herself placed mental blocks to not love him no matter ehat he does. Thiugh the power to be able to love him is within her. Amongst many other things I'm picking in my own inner truth discerning systems. To avoid wasting my precious counsel is ehy i called her whom she was and told her the right thing to do, to elt the man go. Maturity many times isn't using plenting words thats why i settled fro two this morning

" Witch " and " Divorce ". I hope you get my drift now


She's a useless human being. This one is past redemption. Her soul is dry bitter and narcissistic. Only the Holyspirit can help these kinds. Theraphy and cuddling her with niceties won't. If she came to me for theraphy with this, she's in trouble.


So sometimes i could be detailed other times I'll be abrupt, blunt and instant. As the Holyspirit leads me

I want to believe our choice of words matter in everyday life, especially when people have different levels of psyche. I may be blunt but I don't believe in using a misnomer, so, I'll spell it out for you so you'll name yourself accordingly.

To each his own, I guess.

Sixfeetbelle:


I want to believe our choice of words matter in everyday life, especially when people have different levels of psyche. I may be blunt but I don't believe in using a misnomer, so, I'll spell it out for you so you'll name yourself accordingly.

To each his own, I guess.

You no go believe. Do you know one of the reasons she's doing this ? Whatbif i told you what she didnt put out the remaining part?

I used to becareful too however not with wicked people

healthserve:




Hahaha You'll soon be a daddy o

Ned Nwoko is a grandfather, Donald Trump is more than a daddy....even uncle Bubu chased his first wife away to marry Aunty Aisha, what about Uncle Tinubu that hid his first wife at Ajah for decades and married Aunty Remi while chasing other ukwus....abi Grandpa Obasanjo that married so many wives and also help his sons to cater for their girlfriends and fiance's in the oza room, are they not men, so why are thou crusifices me

healthserve:



When Jesus said in His word that whoever marries a divorced person has committed adultery do you know why He said it?

His philosophies, most times, elude me, so, no I don't. Indulge me, then

franchasng:
I have the full video

Full video of what? I wanna see

franchasng:
Ned Nwoko is a grandfather, Donald Trump is more than a daddy....even uncle Bubu chased his first wife away to marry Aunty Aisha, what about Uncle Tinubu that hid his first wife at Ajah for decades and married Aunty Remi while chasing other ukwus....abi Grandpa Obasanjo that married so many wives and also help his sons to cater for their girlfriends and fiance's in the oza room, are they not men, so why are thou crusifices me

Na so. I'm sure this tastes like chapman why typing it. Junior is on his way no worry. You go soon get who go dey compete your fone with you

" Nnamdi , Nnamdi, return my phone, why did this boy hide " in Franchas voice

falcon01:
@Girlwhocares Atleast you are honest and know the problem is from you. now my advice here is life is too short to spend it been unhappy maybe marriage is not your thing maybe been in the family way is not your thing, [s]you gave in due to pressure from your family and now you are paying the price[/s] , you want to be alone you dont fine him attractive all his done and is doing for you isn't making you feel the vibe so please don't make him suffer and don't also make yourself feel unhappy sit down and think of what you want and do it Call your husband, talk to him that it is not working and it's your fault you tried to feel it but it's just not there and make sure you are financially capable of taking care of yourself. or even better tell him you guys should take a break to figure out what is good for you

This is my favourite post on the thread!

@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, and you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with what is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly no, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Do you want my advise?

No, you have already made up your mind and it is fixated on the frame work of 'your type of man'. But what will give that mind set a hard reset is called 'Disappointment and Heartbreak and Insult' from exposure to the world out there, where there is no protection, no mercy, and definately no loving man who loves you sheepishly and foolishly than the man you have.

He is suffering and too ashamed to tell people how much his own wife hates him and he is helpless because he has not made up his mind.

The day he decides to mix up and share his suffering. He will be liberated, he just does not know what great life he is missing on an account of a mentally deranged woman who is suffering from chronic bipolar disorder engineered by thoughts of what could have been as opposed to what is.

You are not a married woman, because you are obviously in denial. But remember, some day, you will grow old, and lack the love you failed to give to someone who loves you. The Universe is savvy. We programmed it with a reward mechanism.

Solution:
1. Meditation - Stop inputs from all 5 sense organs and be left with your Thoughts alone for 1hr each day.
Watch your thoughts go through the memories and projections of your mind and delete the disgusts you feel for your husband and replace hem with what you love about him, cos you will find that your thoughts are mostly negative. No one can do this for you. This is epigenetics.

2. You are not your thoughts, start using the reticular activating system to replace your 'type of man' image with your husband's image during visualization and contemplation and the fabric of your universe will output that within 30 days of the exercise.

3. Invite your dream master every night to show you the progress on your simulated visualization through dreams and recommend steps to open up your heart chakra for unconditional love for all lives including most importantly your husband.

4. Surrender to the Pilot of your Avatar and seek realignment of your Soul within your husband soul group if you want to be with him.

OR Simply walk away and leave that innocent man to a new girl who will love him unconditionally.

I do not like people like you. So, do not thank me. But if you need my assistance, I can guide you out of your valley of darkness.

Now sixfeetbelle read what the poster above me said. The oart she didnt include in her post and why i mentioned Jesus is she has sexual partner she has eyes on and is only using her sick post to seek validation to carry out her evil antics

Not everyone is blind Adultery adultery. The Bible says bread stolen in the dark is sweet but its companions are in hell. Whenever an act becomes so excitebale and sweet. Watch it, the devil is in the mix somewhere


May thunder fire that side nigga forcing this marriage to break he also will have no rest.

healthserve:



Na so. I'm sure this tastes like chapman why typing it. Junior is on his way no worry. You go soon get who go dey compete your fone with you

" Nnamdi , Nnamdi, return my phone, why did this boy hide " in Franchas voice

I will beat the hell out of him, I look like him mama ni

franchasng:
I will beat the hell out of him, I look like him mama ni

We go see na. Na for mouth e tey. I gove you three years

Vortex369:
@ Girlwhocares

I really am worried how people babysit you on this forum when all you need to learn on how to make your marriage works lie in more than a Gospel Truth.

Here comes my 'more than Gospel Truth' and you deserve it:

You think too highly of yourself, you believe the world revolves around your own happiness. It is silly of you to conjure up this image of your type of man. It is a world of fantasy and smart people know it is nothing but fantasy.

You believe in your heart that he is not your type, an you keep fantasizing about your type in such a manner that you are ready to go down on sex with boys who can not clean the floor that your husband walks, because because they are your type. Those boys you sleep with do not have to do anything to make you like them. You just foolishly like them, cos they are your type. It is not shameful, it is a worrisome case of mentality so disordered by expectation of what should have been that you have lost touch with what is.

I want to repeat that line;

You have lost touch with is, while your mind is fixated on the framework of what should have been - a fantasy image built on a particular structure of the body and lifestyle that you have totally forgotten that you are married. You are ready to behave single and lie about your marital status and diet to look for ever young because you live in denial. You are hoping someday you will be with your type for ever. A silly fantasy that dies when you realize that you may not be the type of lady for your type of man. When you meet your type of man, are you really his type of woman? mostly know, so the table turns, and you begin to face the Karma you put your husband through. Because obviously, he is also a slave of your type of woman.

Do you want my advise?

No, you have already made up your mind and it is fixated on the frame work of 'your type of man'. But what will give that mind set a hard reset is called 'Disappointment and Heartbreak and Insult' from exposure to the world out there, where there is no protection, no mercy, and definately no loving man who loves you sheepishly and foolishly that the man you have.

He is suffering and too ashamed to tell people how much his own wife hates him and he is helpless because he has not made up his mind.

The day he decides to mix up and share his suffering. He will be liberated, he just does not know what great life he is missing on an account of a mentally deranged woman who is suffering from chronic bipolar disorder engineered by thoughts of what could have been as opposed to what is.

You are not a married woman, because you are obviously in denial. But remember, some day, you will grow old, and lack the love you failed to give to someone who loves you. The Universe is savvy. We programmed it with a reward mechanism.

Solution:
1. Meditation - Stop inputs from all 5 sense organs and be left with your Thoughts alone for 1hr each day.
Watch your thoughts go through the memories and projections of your mind and delete the disgusts you feel for your husband and replace hem with what you love about him, cos you will find that your thoughts are mostly negative. No one can do this for you. This is epigenetics.

2. You are not your thoughts, start using the reticular activating system to replace your 'type of man' image with your husband's image during visualization and contemplation and the fabric of your universe will output that within 30 days of the exercise.

3. Invite your dream master every night to show you the progress on your simulated visualization through dreams and recommend steps to open up your heart chakra for unconditional love for all lives including most importantly your husband.

4. Surrender to the Pilot of your Avatar and seek realignment of your Soul within your husband soul group if you want to be with him.

OR Simply walk away and leave that innocent man to a new girl who will love him unconditionally.

I do not like people like you. So, do not thank me. But if you need my assistance, I can guide you out of your valley of darkness.

Kai......this is my missing second wife oh, ewo nne mara mma, asampete......tomato Jos, you have finished job.....that was why after reading the foolish, selfish, ugly-forming classy op's stupid rant, I just had to ask her to post her picture for me to see the ugly, shapeless, amoeba looking lady causing one innocent man his life's happiness all because the man decided to wife a prideful....ego filled ugly-lady-thinking-she-is-hotter-than-Kim-Kardashian mgbeke lady


Over time, I have come to realize that its mostly ugly ladies that think high of their look.....ugly ladies always feel they are the hottest women on earth maybe because some futureless, no-future-ambition trouser-sagging gigolo boys have been chasing them around and calling them fine girl fine girl and making them feel like they are that pretty, not knowing all what guys want to do is chop and clean mouth



You deserve an accolade for coming out to give this mumu op a KO

franchasng:
Kai......this is my missing second wife oh, ewo nne mara mma, asampete......tomato Jos, you have finished job.....that was why after reading the foolish, selfish, ugly-forming classy op's stupid rant, I just had to ask her to post her picture for me to see the ugly, shapeless, amoeba looking lady causing one innocent man his life's happiness all because the man decided to wife a prideful....ego filled ugly-lady-thinking-she-is-hotter-than-Kim-Kardashian mgbeke lady


Over time, I have come to realize that its mostly ugly ladies that think high of their look.....ugly ladies always feel they are the hottest women on earth maybe because some futureless, no-future-ambition trouser-sagging gigolo boys have been chasing them around and calling them fine girl fine girl and making them feel like they are that pretty, not knowing all what guys want to do is chop and clean mouth



You deserve an accolade for coming out to give this mumu op a KO

Kuku cari stick knack my waist

Girlwhocares:


He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!

Problem number 1. You never quite married him because you loved him and envisioned a lifetime with him. You married because people said he is good for you.

Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Problem number 2. You married him because you thought you will grow to love him, and now years down the line, the attraction still hasn't grown.

Stop struggling to love him. You either love a person, or you don't, and you don't. There's no point in saying you shouldn't have allowed yourself be pressured into marriage because those that said he is good for you are not living with you today, neither are they privy to the conflict in your heart.

Stop struggling to love your husband, I repeat. Love is natural, flowing from the deep wellsprings of the human soul. It is not forced. Forced love is a false love and is as passing as the wind.

What I would do if I were in your shoes: Isolation. Take one week off from everyone, your husband included. Get a cheap hotel room or guest house and meditate on your marriage for a week. Focus on that aspect of him that turned you on, in this case his intelligence and what other endearing areas in his personality. You can conduct your business or go to work from your hotel room, but most importantly, take a breather from your marriage. I sense you're feeling smothered and it's making you miserable.

Jeremiah 17 vs 9 says- the heart is deceitful above all things, who can understand it? God can, you know. In your isolation talk to Him about your marriage the way you'll talk to your friend and listen closely so that when He replies, you'll recognize His voice.

If after one week separation and meditation your heart doesn't grow fonder, neither do you miss him the way you ought, know that the time has come to face the harsh reality that your separation has to be longer because you cannot make the poor man miserable with unrequited love. It's painful.

The long and short is forced love is false love. It's temporary and leaves a big gap in your soul that can only be filled by facing up to the truth.

I think you know what to do.

franchasng:
Kai......this is my missing second wife oh, ewo nne mara mma, asampete......tomato Jos, you have finished job.....that was why after reading the foolish, selfish, ugly-forming classy op's stupid rant, I just had to ask her to post her picture for me to see the ugly, shapeless, amoeba looking lady causing one innocent man his life's happiness all because the man decided to wife a prideful....ego filled ugly-lady-thinking-she-is-hotter-than-Kim-Kardashian mgbeke lady


Over time, I have come to realize that its mostly ugly ladies that think high of their look.....ugly ladies always feel they are the hottest women on earth maybe because some futureless, no-future-ambition trouser-sagging gigolo boys have been chasing them around and calling them fine girl fine girl and making them feel like they are that pretty, not knowing all what guys want to do is chop and clean mouth



You deserve an accolade for coming out to give this mumu op a KO

This is quite disappointing. The day you can create one strand of hair is the day you gain the right to call anyone ugly. Are you your own maker? Even the child that comes from your loins is not made by you but the One who bequeaths you the grace to be a channel for another human's entrance into this life.

I am so so disappointed in this your comment.

Ishilove:

This is quite disappointing. The day you can create one strand of hair is the day you gain the right to call anyone ugly. Are you your own maker? Even the child that comes from your loins is not made by you but the One who bequeaths you the grace to be a channel for another human's entrance into this life.

I am so so disappointed in this your comment.

Now I feel so bad




But the op is heartless

healthserve:



Kuku cari stick knack my waist

but Ishi has made me look horrible with that comment