₦airaland Forum

Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

Baba! What country did you travel to for masters and what scholarship is that?

So she one year older than you his the koko, please just let it be, marriage on pity equal to failure

Mariangeles:


Most times you type trash!
Life doesn't begin and end with sex!

Lollll...it may not end with sex(although it sometimes does) but it sure begins with sex.

Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

Bro all this issue only happen in with African ladies mostly. In Europe and other part of the world, you can be close friends with a lady, as long as there is no official knowledge of intimate friendship, you guys are cool like that.
However, it is necessary for friends to be open minded and talk about their priorities in life.

Prec1ous:
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.

I keep saying this. A man and a woman cannot be just friends. It never ends well.

If i dont see myself marrying you, we cant be close. Its that simple. I dont trust the ‘we are just friends’ typa girls. I dont.

jidxin:
its not my opinion that's the full version. We usually omit that part

your words your mouth

Katier00:
your words your mouth

its not too difficult to remain dogmatic....just embrace change. so i hope you ve learnt new thing today.

jidxin:
its not too difficult to remain dogmatic....just embrace change. so i hope you ve learnt new thing today.

your hands your keyboard

Send her contact I am ready for marriage...

Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

Send her contact let me help you friend her till you come back

Katier00:
your hands your keyboard

dont be too hard....just accept

jidxin:
dont be too hard....just accept

your head your thought

AfroKnight:
She doesn’t have sense. Why couldn’t she toast you? What’s with the attitude? So her ego won’t let her go for what she wants and convince you to see things her way? Nonsense.

Also, if you’re pretending not to understand why she blocked you then you don’t have sense cos I don’t like this innocent, oblivious picture you’re painting. You’re deceiving yourself. Nonsense.

the lady wey try tell me say make we start relationship after being friends, she was even a single mum and very industrious, guy na from fvck the stuff wan enta marriage na so I jakpa. she is even less than 30.
women should wait for the man's proposal, otherwise she will be used again and heart broken.
men feel accomplished when they conquer many pussies. women feel used after fvcking plenty dicks without none saying shit on marriage or they remain broke.

Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

A lady blocked u r angry, don't worry she will unblock you, she just want to find someone to let off the steam of expectation, then she may remember she is having one friend abroad.
otherwise u maybe permanently blocked n deleted. So she can move on.

PrimadonnaO:
So spinsters should be avoided?

The real issue here should be setting boundaries and properly defining association so no one gets funny ideas. Not that people should be careful being friends with ladies of marriageable age. What's to be careful about if it's a completely ordinary friendship?

Thanks for this. Op wanted an open ended relationship and the sharp babe ended it faster than he thought. Hence his whining here.. I really dont understand what he wanted from her.. He doesnt want any serious relationship with her but wants her attention, time and space.. SELFISH LOT

israelmao:
Your dream couldn't be combined with the lady you described as comfortable,well travelled and beautiful even after your first degree?She saw you as someone who was not ready to give her the attention she wanted.

Thanks

DNSPro:
he is very right.

Not at all

DNSPro:
which feelings. Do you have comprehension problem? Who is catching feeling between op and the lady in question?

Op has feelings for her.. Just forget all this wrote up here.. HE IS PAINED THAT SHE HAS MOVED ON FASTER THAN HE THOUGHT LEAVING HIM..

tiwiex:
I think he was sharing a strange behavior. It didn't sound like he was bothered. If he thought she was worth the trouble, they would have done something. I suspect his sixth sense suspected she had some weird behaviors that should be avoided. If they had dated and he was serious, this lady would have done the same oh and that would shatter any man. It's a pattern.

Really? Op is really bothered and heart broken. Thats the truth

Chi59:
They've been friends for 3 years, she was catching feelings, guy was not feeling the same way Overall he had to travel abroad to pursue his career. Lady blocks him as a way of dealing with rejection He comes to whine and give useless advice on nairaland.
How can you in all honesty say you're a friend to a lady who is over ripe for marriage? And for 3 solid years, you wasted her time hanging around her life. Now she's trying to piece herself together THE ONLY WAY SHE KNOWS by cutting off all memory of you you're complaining. You want your career, you want her affection. You have nothing to give in return. Yet you say he's not trying to eat his cake and have it.

My dear , Op is very very SELFISH

Sister.... how am I selfish?

I told her my plans to travel in future. We were good friends... no sex nothing nothing.

Once in a while sef she will tell me how her date went. When I noticed she started catching feelings I pulled away and she was upset.

I think she hoped somehow I could have married her.

Now I doubt the if she really a friend,

Now that I have left Nigeria. She blocked from all social media. I.am ok with it.... I have moved on.

So do you discard a friend because your hope to marry him did not happen.... that's why I think it's not healthy to even be friends with a mature unmarried lady desiring marriage cause her priority is to get married while yours might have just been platonic. But if every lady treats her male friends like this.... not good enough.

No ill feelings anywayz... I hope she is better now. If we are related we will meet again.... life goes on.

Evercurious:
My dear , Op is very very SELFISH

Smile4mee01:
Sister.... how am I selfish?

I told her my plans to travel in future. We were good friends... no sex nothing nothing.

Once in a while sef she will tell me how her date went. When I noticed she started catching feelings I pulled away and she was upset.

I think she hoped somehow I could have married her.

Now I doubt the if she really a friend,

Now that I have left Nigeria. She blocked from all social media. I.am ok with it.... I have moved on.

So do you discard a friend because your hope to marry him did not happen.... that's why I think it's not healthy to even be friends with a mature unmarried lady desiring marriage cause her priority is to get married while yours might have just been platonic. But if every lady treats her male friends like this.... not good enough.

No ill feelings anywayz... I hope she is better now. If we are related we will meet again.... life goes on.

It's okay.. She is only handling her feelings the way she knows best. Pls dont take it personal nor against her and just let her be. She ll unblock you when her feelings are now 'normal' towards you. It's just temporary. She ll be fine and your 'friendship' with her might continue afterwards