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Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 6:53am On Feb 26, 2020
eduman365:


No, friendship is not by force and I totally understand the lady's position. Stop being emotional over this please... But you lots are selfish sha, just accept it.

Once something isn't tilting towards your area of satisfaction, na wahala!

I fear women ooo.
lol I think you should look in the mirror before you fear women . tongue.


Any woman past 25 that keeps men like the op as friends doesn't know herself.At 34 the op didn't even have a serious relationship with anyone before leaving ,na all this type of "let's see how it goes " boys e be.


So her moving on with her life is wahala to you undecided ,na wah for una o. All this disapora people sef undecided

2 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 6:55am On Feb 26, 2020
Emaprince:
She is very childish.
Anyway. Thats how all of you behaves. You all think you are so special that any guy you come close to must be interested in you, hence the bitter attitude you give when a man just want to keep it platonic.

Na SIMPs dey cause am sha...too much attention and validation is the reason a lady can't deal with rejection.
If you are that sensible you will know there is an age where a woman should entertain any form of relationship and there is an age where only potential suitors should be her circle of friends.


A 35 years old should only have potential suitors as male friends.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Emaprince: 6:59am On Feb 26, 2020
Ladycewhy:
If you are that sensible you will know there an age where a woman should entertain any form of relationship and there is an age where only potential suitors should be her circle of friends.


A 35 years old should only have potential suitors as male friends.
If you are sensible, then you will know that loneliness will eventually kill you when depression sets in...since all you think of is potential suitor.

Meanwhile, na your type go still complain if your prospective hubby ask you to cut off all male friends. This shows that you still keep your male friends before and after marriage. So stop being a hypocrite.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 7:01am On Feb 26, 2020
Ladycewhy:
lol I think you should look in the mirror before you fear women . tongue

Well it's all good. She has done what she had to do. The OP will also move on. But there really isn't any crime when someone genuinely likes you. There are good people that you need in your life, just as friends.

A lady friend of mine got married recently, we were so close back then in school but we defined it and she noticed I wasn't emotionally attached to her, but we flowed quite well, she got married and had a kid.

Till today, when she has some personal issues, she still reaches out to me for support (mostly moral) and I do my best because I liked and still like her as a friend.

One thing a lot of ladies fail to understand is that marriage is just the beginning of another journey. If you think you won't need anyone besides your husband, then wait till you get married first. You can't cut off everyone just because of marriage.... It's wrong.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Longman8: 7:01am On Feb 26, 2020
The best u can do bro is to let go. What misses you was never meant for u and what is mearnt for u will never miss u. Marriage is totally out of our hand no one knows who God will make their match. Achieve ur goal i wish u well.

1 Like

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 7:03am On Feb 26, 2020
Emaprince:
If you are sensible, then you will know that loneliness will eventually kill you when depression sets in...since all you think of is potential suitor.

Meanwhile, na your type go still complain if your prospective hubby ask you to cut off all male friends. This shows that you still keep your male friends before and after marriage. So stop being a hypocrite.
But who is here ranting now tho? grin shey na una wey Dem bruise e ego . If una enter abroad e dey make una head swell when people from here dey reach out ,some of una go even think say Dem wan beg una for foreign currency grin.


Gone are the days when women used to waste their years waiting for abroad husbands to come back and marry them. You go abroad I find someone else here ,no time for loneliness bro tongue

6 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 7:09am On Feb 26, 2020
eduman365:


Well it's all good. She has done what she had to do. The OP will also move on. But there really isn't any crime when someone genuinely likes you. There are good people that you need in your life, just as friends.

A lady friend of mine got married recently, we were so close back then in school but we defined it and she noticed I wasn't emotionally attached to her, but we flowed quite well, she got married and had a kid.

Till today, when she has some personal issues, she still reaches out to me for support (mostly moral) and I do my best because I liked and still like her as a friend.

One thing a lot of ladies fail to understand is that marriage is just the beginning of another journey. If you think you won't need anyone besides your husband, then wait till you get married first. You can't cut off everyone just because of marriage.... It's wrong.
Let me ask you is it every lady then you still talk to? The answer is no. I am sure this lady the op is talking about has other guys she keeps in contact with.

From the ops tone the sounds egotistical and is only here to whine about his bruised ego hence he was admonishing guys to dump their female friends before they do.who needs such a person as a friend?


I have someone like that who went abroad ,he started acting funny ,you know you disapora people always think everyone trying to reach out to you wants to beg for foreign currency or something ,so I decided to cane my lane. Some people are better left alone to avoid see finish especially if they leave to travel abroad.

4 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Apus: 7:11am On Feb 26, 2020
Ladycewhy:
the op stated that before he left he realized she wanted to be more than friends . Now tell me why a 35 years old lady should keep male friends who are not potential suitors undecided. Infact any lady above 25 should not keep friends who are not potential suitors.




Well, if that would save the ladies from time wasters, I'm in full support. Otherwise all kinds of friendship should be clearly defined from the onset. Our problem is we don't define or set boundaries in relationships.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nzeodogwu(m): 7:12am On Feb 26, 2020
Prec1ous:
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.


Master of the Arts!
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 7:13am On Feb 26, 2020
Apus:





Well, if that would save the ladies from time wasters, I'm in full support. Otherwise all kinds of friendship should be clearly defined from the onset. Our problem is we don't define or set boundaries in relationships.
Good you now get my point.

1 Like

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 7:14am On Feb 26, 2020
Ladycewhy:
Let me ask you is it every lady then you still talk to? The answer is no. I am sure this lady the op is talking about has other guys she keeps in contact with.

From the ops tone the sounds egotistical and is only here to whine about his bruised ego hence he was admonishing guys to dump their female friends before they do.who needs such a person as a friend?


I have someone like that who went abroad ,he started acting funny ,you know you disapora people always think everyone trying to reach out to you wants to beg for foreign currency or something ,so I decided to cane my lane. Some people are better left alone to avoid see finish especially if they leave to travel abroad.

Yea well... I totally get it. Life is an interesting journey, we all live to learn and understand it more as we grow older. Life goes on.

1 Like

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Ladycewhy(f): 7:15am On Feb 26, 2020
eduman365:


Yea well... I totally get it. Life is an interesting journey, we all live to learn and understand it more as we grow older. Life goes on.


have a blessed day bro.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by mechanics(m): 7:19am On Feb 26, 2020
It's well, assuming she had her way and you impregnate her, it's then you will see her true colour.
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Usanga35: 7:27am On Feb 26, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I am ok with her blocking me. I meant no harm by being friends with her in the first place. This was more like an advice to others to be careful when being friends with a single lady who desires to marry and you are have no such intentions.

Leave her alone, before she leaves you.
SO U MEAN WE SHOULDN'T BE FRIENDS TO SINGLE LADIES OF 30+ YEARS OLD?.... COS THEY ARE LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 7:28am On Feb 26, 2020
Smile4mee01:

Brother, there is more to life than sex. A 35 yr old single lady wants more than sex bro... She never gave that vibe though. She wanted more from me, like commitment and marriage. but its all good. Its all behind me now. I wish her well still...


You did well my brother, d funny thing is I have same problem, the first one was extremely easy to cut, it's this current one that's the main problem. can't seem to cut ties, as she always check mates my moves
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by jaxxy(m): 7:31am On Feb 26, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

Women are generally more emotional unstable than men, u did nothing to require getting blocked on social media bt she probably needs to get her emotions under control so blocked u or she’s just a bitter person, it’s either of the 2. Whichever way it was wrong thing to do and I hope it’s temporary cos u always be frnds who knows how things might go. I don’t like people with hasty or negative conclusions.
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Richpounds: 7:42am On Feb 26, 2020
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!

Who be this one food giver

Na ur type to go der spoil everything come they apologize

The guy did the right tin
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 7:43am On Feb 26, 2020
Prec1ous:
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.

You are spot on.
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Richpounds: 7:43am On Feb 26, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad.

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

You be man...

Focused and firm.

The worst thing to offer is to take advantage of her when your not ready..

More oil for your head
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Filmewell(f): 8:09am On Feb 26, 2020
Sorry I understand this your type of heartbreak. Is good she left for you are very unserious.take heart.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by DonTattaglia: 8:21am On Feb 26, 2020
I will tell u what went wrong. The lady sees u as a waste of her time. Blocking u on social media is to cut off completely any memory or link she has with u. She never wants to remember u again neither does she want anything to do with u.. U slacked big time. U could have at least bleeped her very well even if its once. Women love rugged and bad guys more than good chaps. U don't have to come to NL complaining or seeking for opinion like a teenager. It shows u are so hurt by her action. Focus on ur career of masters degree outside d country and throw her case behind u forever...Good luck.
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Jeweltz(f): 8:27am On Feb 26, 2020
Prec1ous:
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.

Aaaaaaaaaghhh
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 8:30am On Feb 26, 2020
Emaprince:
Wow...He can't eat his cake and have it?

So rejecting ones advances is now a crime? When a woman rejects a male friends advances and he reacts this way, I'm very sure your type will call him childish.

Just admit that the most bitter experience a woman will ever have is rejection from a man. You women will kill the guy if you see the opportunity. Little wonder you guys die in silence when you see a guy you admire so much because of fear of rejection.

What the OP did is best. And thats exactly what I would have done. Though in my case, I usually start avoiding the lady..because I already know how bitter she will be when she sees me.
They've been friends for 3 years, she was catching feelings, guy was not feeling the same way Overall he had to travel abroad to pursue his career. Lady blocks him as a way of dealing with rejection He comes to whine and give useless advice on nairaland.
How can you in all honesty say you're a friend to a lady who is over ripe for marriage? And for 3 solid years, you wasted her time hanging around her life. Now she's trying to piece herself together THE ONLY WAY SHE KNOWS by cutting off all memory of you you're complaining. You want your career, you want her affection. You have nothing to give in return. Yet you say he's not trying to eat his cake and have it.

7 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 8:36am On Feb 26, 2020
Fountainofyouth:
And yet you brought it here to whine, you wouldn't do that if it isn't bothering you and you don't miss her, she did right by blocking you though, cos you keep pestering her with your constant contact.
No mind the guy. He's not interested in her but still trying to keep his memories alive in her mind by sending messages upandan. He thinks she's a teenager. I'm happy she blocked his ass. If only he knows the immense pressure she's going through to settle down This one dey do friendship.

4 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Longman180(m): 8:40am On Feb 26, 2020
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by Nobody: 8:46am On Feb 26, 2020
And that is making you angry? That you left this shithole to a better place and she blocked you and you are annoyed? Do you even consider yourself at all? You think there are not other ladies who are not willing to be with you in that country you are going to. Since shes ignoring you, I'd suggest you be yourself and stop worrying over anything. Focus on what took you overseas and do your family proud. Family first. understood?

God Speed!
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by brodalikeme(m): 8:57am On Feb 26, 2020
Smile4mee01:
I have been friends with a lady at work for about 3 years now, we were just friends and things were quite well. I soon realized it appears she wanted us to be more than friends, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship. I told her I had ambitions I needed to achieve before I got married and it included traveling abroad for my masters. By the way I got a 50% scholarship abroad

To avoid being blamed for playing on her emotions and wasting her time I pulled away and only contacted her sparingly. We have never been intimate, no romance and the likes. To be sincere, she is a good lady who has been unfortunate with love and marriage. She is very comfortable, beautiful and well-Travelled.

I am single as well and a very goal oriented person, women have never been my priority. She is about 1 yr older than I am. However , I can not let go of my dreams to be with her. Now that I have left Nigeria, She has blocked me from all social media contact and ignored my messages.
While I often desire to be at peace with all men. Maybe it’s best to leave it this way and move on.

Nutshell: Guys Be careful being just friends with a single lady of marriageable age, Her priority is to get married and not just be friends. If that’s not your intention, Bro. Help her, help yourself Cut it. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

I wish I can advice you on certain things. You are a goal oriented person which is fine. You set some goals for yourself and God has some for you. Your goals and God’s plan will surely overlap at some point. Hence what would you do at those time when a good thing that is not in you plan presents itself? A good lady that is compatible with you is always a good reason to make a detour.
Bros, wife matter no be small tin. It can make or break you. What some successful career person’s are going through in their marriage is unspeakable.

I have been married for 10years and know what I’m talking about.

1 Like

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by CharlesJok3r: 9:15am On Feb 26, 2020
Nice thread.... The OP is still pained about her blocking him across social media... I will like to tell that woman " You Are Doing Well" and "Ooin" to the OP.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by ngwababe(f): 9:16am On Feb 26, 2020
Prec1ous:
OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.


Guy, you bad. You know surely, how to get us. smiley
Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by doyinbaby(f): 9:17am On Feb 26, 2020
Now move on with your life....leave her alone.....give her the opportunity to chart the course of her marital destiny

1 Like

Re: Is It Emotionally Healthy Being Just Friends With A Mature Lady ? by ziondaughter247: 9:19am On Feb 26, 2020
Davash222:
She blocked you cos she've realized you're not man enough. They carry food give you, you dey dodge.
It takes a second for a woman to transfer her love and affections to a man into hatred. Once you turn down their sexual advances, automatically she hates you! You were thinking marriage while the lady only wanted your dicck, Stop feeling yourself. she even blocked you shows you didn't play your game well. That's laxity on your side. Shame on you!


How old are you?/ You sound very immature. Not everything is about sex please. This your talk nah teenagers talk, abeg

2 Likes

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