₦airaland Forum

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

daddytime:
Money wey dem take the raise family dem no dey save am put for one corner oh.

daddytime:
Money wey dem take the raise family dem no dey save am put for one corner oh.

WhatIf:
Another man food is another man poison.

I don't have a job when I met my wife, I am a hustler when I gave birth to my first daughter and my second son. Still, up till now, I don't have a stable job, my first daughter will sit for her W.A.E.C this year in one of the best private secondary school in Ijebu-Ode. What If I tell you I am living in my own house, will you believe?
What pains me most is that I got this knowledge very late, but All glory be to God.

dammywapes:
I b 27yrs i go pass out from nysc by june.... so far he no easy. I have a good partner but kna money b koko to settle down now

PrimadonnaO:
But that's what most guys do. They act like they need to save up the whole money they'll need to cater for the family forever.

Marriage comes with its own blessings. Just have a plan, and a decent source of livelihood. Everything else gets better with time.

Ballary:
This is really an inspiring post, getting married earlier is the best, but how many women do you think will settle for a struggling or broke guy.

To raise a family is not really easy in this present naija, only very few decent girls can cope with a struggling guy, l'm in my late twenties,I really want to get married at least by 30.

But the way things are going,it will be really difficult,to even get an understanding babe is also a major issue.

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

Gforce2019:
Pls, it is not compulsory to marry. So, don't make people.that re not.marry feel bad. Everybody have his or.her own timing..the kind wahala wey some people dey face because of the wrong marriage wey dem don enter pass hellfire.
The customary court is full with marriage divorce case because of the two nonsense things that join themselves together and calling themselves husband and wife..pls help our society to get rid of bastard children.marriage is.not compulsory...

If.you want to.learn about celibate, you can dm me.

jeph19:
This is what I'm talking about... Thanks for this I'd actually want to marry early... Though in my finals
Nice one sir.
I think people just gat look for an understanding spouse and have a vision they are on a mission to accomplish... Am I right sir??
Lemme learn from the elders

MhizJoyce:
Don't worry, I won't reveal the content of your DMs

MhizJoyce:
Don't worry, I won't reveal the content of your DMs

PrimadonnaO:
But that's what most guys do. They act like they need to save up the whole money they'll need to cater for the family forever.

Marriage comes with its own blessings. Just have a plan, and a decent source of livelihood. Everything else gets better with time.

WhatIf:
Another man food is another man poison.

I don't have a job when I met my wife, I am a hustler when I gave birth to my first daughter and my second son. Still, up till now, I don't have a stable job, my first daughter will sit for her W.A.E.C this year in one of the best private secondary school in Ijebu-Ode. What If I tell you I am living in my own house, will you believe?
What pains me most is that I got this knowledge very late, but All glory be to God.

WhatIf:
She is a Company Secretary by God's Grace

WhatIf:
Despise not the day of thy little beginning says the Holy Book, we plan together, for the first 10 years of knowing ourselves, we work together, we had a Computer Business Center, we operated the same Bank Account, we relocated from ABK to IJB, and then she got employed and we separated Bank Account, yet I got alert of every transaction on her account on my e-mail, and she also knows my income, because I am still hustle, but my hustling these days pays me a lot. Mind you, not that we don't quarrel, we quarrel a lot, but we quickly settled within few hours, as the Holy Book say that we should work out salvation.....so, we take our time every blessed day to work things out for our family.

Impostor:
They are mostly married except for a few corpers serving there

PrimadonnaO:
When you find a girl who really loves you and believes in you, you'll be really fine.
I had my first boyfriend when I was in Uni. I loved him so much that I was ready to get married to him ASAP. I knew what the future held for him... and for me. We'd have been okay. Bur uncle wanted to make all the money first. We broke up at some point.

Years later, he's trying to get serious and wants us back. But I've moved on.

P.S The people y'all are dating who want to wreck you financially don't love you. If all they do is ask ask ask, even when it's obvious that you can't conveniently afford what they're asking for, then just know it's not a love relationship. They have no other reason being with you. So if they must stay, the cash
must roll.
Well said from you, but it's really difficult in this present time to find such,cos the are hard to find.

Okoroawusa:
In as much as I am not against marriage then hustle n take care of the kids, you ended up not offering this young man any advice or explain how you have been able to maintain a family for many years despite not having a steady job nor how your daughter ended up attending the best private secondary schools in Ijebu-Ode.

Ballary:
This is really an inspiring post, getting married earlier is the best, but how many women do you think will settle for a struggling or broke guy.

To raise a family is not really easy in this present naija, only very few decent girls can cope with a struggling guy, l'm in my late twenties,I really want to get married at least by 30.

But the way things are going,it will be really difficult,to even get an understanding babe is also a major issue.

frozen70:
You made sense

If you want to be with a woman and both if you will have to struggle to make it, just respect yourself when you have made it

If you try to outsmart her or treat her bad after success

She won't take it lightly with you

Lightangel65:
You guys come and blab yet you still date the same girls

francdec4:
Wish I did or saw this kind of advise earlier. Had stable job and good profession but was busy sharing my money n salary to relatives who ironically started their own families early and who felt entiled....dont get me wrong nothing bad in helping others and relatives but then at one's neglect of vital life exigencies, it's somehow. Now am 37 and eager to do it as soon as possible. Sad but that's life. Younger ones learn, from 26 and 27 for men, just do the needful, pray and build your Empire together.

kunkelhanspeter:
Almost the same here imagine the girl I am dating now thinking of settling down wi her I asked her of glo 100 she can’t afford it I just weak

WhatIf:
Despise not the day of thy little beginning says the Holy Book, we plan together, for the first 10 years of knowing ourselves, we work together, we had a Computer Business Center, we operated the same Bank Account, we relocated from ABK to IJB, and then she got employed and we separated Bank Account, yet I got alert of every transaction on her account on my e-mail, and she also knows my income, because I am still hustle, but my hustling these days pays me a lot. Mind you, not that we don't quarrel, we quarrel a lot, but we quickly settled within few hours, as the Holy Book say that we should work out salvation.....so, we take our time every blessed day to work things out for our family.

Impostor:
Hello NLders

I just want to share my experience. I want people to learn from others.

So recently I started dating and meeting women with the mindset of getting married as everyone around me keep shouting that I am getting overripe. Some are even wondering if everything is ok downstairs lol. How can you not be married up till now? You know those types of comments. But how could I have gotten married when unemployment no release me until 36? Nigeria is something else. It was at that age that I finally landed a decent job. I am even lucky to be where I am now.

So many youths are underemployed/under paid. Less than a month ago, a good friend who is also my course mate messaged me to express his frustration at teaching somewhere for 50k and he said he's now ready to make money anyhow even if it will take someone's blood . It's just a threat out of frustration.

The problem now is that I don't know if there are still good women like our mothers in this country. I have met so many young girls that I have stopped trying, the quest and hunger of these girls for money is just too much.

You are unemployed and you want me to buy you an iPhone of 150,000 Naira and she was making so much noise about it. Meanwhile I use a phone of 30k lol. Almost all the ladies I am meeting are unemployed and expensive. I met one girl awaiting NYSC, she told me straight up, that I will have to be taking care of her, that she's tired of dating broke guys so she has decided that any man she wants to date will have to be responsible for her completely. It sounded like a transaction. Though she's a very pretty, tall girl but I am not even after all those facial beauty.

Another lady told me she has half of her rent and she's looking for the remaining half. The stories are so many, I could write a book with them. I don't even know how to get working class ladies. But I have now realized that Nigerian ladies are not even the problem, it's the economy. Many young ladies are struggling just like guys and the only way they can meet up with their bills is by dating 3/4 guys.


Advise from my experience.

After my NYSC, over 10 years ago, I had this mind set that I won't get married without a job or funds to take proper care of my family. I think that mindset MAY be wrong, so many people still think this way.

I will advise you look at it again because it may take you 15/20 years after University to become comfortable (not your portion). Let me be sincere with you, this Nigeria is getting worse by the day especially with the type of leaders we have, who think only of themselves and their families/tribe.

For example, you can see for yourself what is happening with the outbreak of Corona Virus in the country. After 2 infection, people started advising that we should stop foreign flights, they refused until so many infected people got into the country, now they are running up&down. If we are lucky to get good leaders after now, it may take another 30 years of continuous good leadership to save Nigeria.

My advise is that after your NYSC, if you have a supportive family and a good/understanding girl friend, just marry her and start your family. You two will Hussle together and God will bless your hustle. You may ask why? Because most people finish around 25. If it takes you 10 years to become stable and get married, if you are lucky, you will have your first child at 36, 37. By the time you are 50, your child will be in junior secondary.

Be wise money is not everything.

jeph19:
Thanks sir
This piece is really inspiring especially the part of quarreling and settling it.
Really appreciate sir