vince96w2:
bro, don't tell anyone. Talk to your Dr there is a way she can breast feed. The baby will be on drugs. If not formula is just fine. Just look for a medical excuse to tell everyone.. Make sure she always takes her drugs then use condoms often. She should always shave so u get no cuts on you dick. If you do,you take truvada efaverenz for a month..You are a good man your love is pure.. You will last together.kudos

It’s not something she can hide, especially if the family of the guy are learned folks.... just one visit after they give birth for omugo, they will notice....he should just get ready to handle handle the stigma and backlash

missvaj2015:



Guy I love your response. That is just the big truth. Forget telling them and stay with the woman you love. About breastfeeding; she can but the hospital would give her some drugs that would make the virus not to affect the baby.

hi, good morning please pm me thanks

I must confess you really have mind o!, bros u need to sit and think deep if your love for this girl can last.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

Who told she can't breastfed?
Let her enrol in PMTCT in a reputable institution.
There's no need to tell anyone if you dont want to

Crazeman03:


Thanks for the insult. The third I tested since we've been having sex was march and I'm still negative.

God in heaven will bless u beyond imagination. You're a blessing in disguise to mankind. Your type is rare. May God bless u again, again and again.

OP this guys just dey admire you

Ken4agent:
U discover she was HIV+ early enough to take off, but you dem d consequence of going ahead.....now the consequence is here and u are asking for opinion??

Yu need not worry about what people will say when she can't breastfeed.....it a path you choose. But I can assure yu it going to be a very very very long walk for you so the earlier yu get set for what coming ahead d easier u get over it

My only worry now is just like we put HIV behind us and years ago and move on, am hopping we put coro virus behind us asap and move on

If u have any hiv positive person, bring her for me I will Bleep her without useless condom. HIV is a harmless virus.

Orpe7:
You are like an idiot who is genotype SS yet still marries a Lady who is Also SS
One day your eye go clear
That kpetus wey dey sweet u go soon tire u

Mumu

SwagPower:
Wish I saw this sooner..All I want to add though is There's no reason why she can't breastfeed..As long as her Viral load is less than 20..

She can breastfed till baby is 12 months(-ve persons are usually adviced to do this for atleast 18months)

You might be considering formula feeds but as a health professional ,I'll tell you your baby will be at a disadvantage taking formula ...

That's she's had it for 12years and still looking good means she's adherent to her drugs.All she has to do is remain adherent and I don't see any reasons why you two can't live happily, till you are both old and wrinkled...

BTW you are a good person...

Thank you
So many ignorant people are quick to comment on what they know nothing about....

perryy:


If u have any hiv positive person, bring her for me I will Bleep her without useless condom. HIV is a harmless virus.

Unfortunately am sorry to disappoint yu.....I no get

Bros, there's no course for alarm, both of you can live a normal life. She can deliver normal and She can breastfeed the baby exclusively for six months while she and the baby take med and instructions given to her for the baby safety. Do her the favour of visiting the hospital where she enrolled for drugs for your questions. Bet me notting will do your baby if she adhere strictly to instructions.

Brother I think best answer will be not to tell them. You love her and she loves you. Go ahead and Marry her. Tell them will be a trauma on her part because when they start insulting even you will be shocked.
Breastfeeding is no issue as there are alternatives to that. I wish you a happy family and God bless you and your family

Crazeman03:
Thanks to everyone who contributed positively, will follow your advices. We went to see a doctor for consultation in General Hospital, I was told thesame things no one's needs to know and she can breastfeed also. And it's Good since she open up to me. He Even went ahead telling some stories about some Gene who can't contract the virus and also most ladies don't tell there partner even when the married ones because they believe there viral load is low and can't pass on the virus.

If your viral load is very low and undetectable, there is zero chances of passing the virus. . If undetected=untrasmittable.

U should have done this before coming to nairaland...I can imagine d horrible comments u had to read from these ignorant folks

Nembeboi:
Wow.....u re obviously a very enlightened guy with a good heart. Keep it up.
U actually dont need to tell anyone in ur family why she isn't breastfeeding. U can just say its ur decision because u dont want her breasts to fall. Its ur decision so dont let anyone including ur mum to determine wot happens in ur home.
I got married to my wife and we re both AS but we didn't tell anyone. Its a risk for both of us and luckily both kids are free from SS.
So keep ur reasons to urself.

I'm not sure you've ever seen a sickle cell patient in crisis.
Very selfish risk you both took there.

Albinoworwor:


Thank you
So many ignorant people are quick to comment on what they know nothing about....

This forum has so much more potential..I only Hope Seun can come to this realization quicker and to the needful..

J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.

Can you imagine this mothafucka called Crazeman03? People stuppid gan ooo.

Maybe he even married an Olosho who was sleeping around and caught the virus. Abeg, wetin I no sabi, no go sabi me.

Can you imagine? In love with a HIV patient? Not like you don't know. But you knew and went ahead to start sleeping with her? In the name of love?

Anybody that tries this nonsense is nothing short of an iddiot. Love kee you dia.

J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.

Can you imagine this mothafucka called Crazeman03? People stuppid gan ooo.

Maybe he even married an Olosho who was sleeping around and caught the virus. Abeg, wetin I no sabi, no go sabi me.

Can you imagine? In love with a HIV patient? Not like you don't know. But you knew and went ahead to start sleeping with her? In the name of love?

Anybody that tries this nonsense is nothing short of an iddiot. Love kee you dia.

You don't need to tell your people because is not everyone that knows that HIV is no longer a death sentence and you can marry a HIV person. All the same go for medical advice .
I learnt a HIV person can breast feed.
You can go for medical counseling they are in a better position to counsel you.

SwagPower:

This forum has so much more potential..I only Hope Seun can come to this realization quicker and to the needful..

Exactly

Crazeman03:


Yes I truly love her and she feel thesame way. Though she till have doubt and always feel insecure about me. She believes one day I will walk away.

Then you need to constantly reassure her.

You might not need to tell any of your family members if you don't trust them.
Make sure it is only members of her family that were already aware that would come and help her in taking care of the baby.
Others should come, greet and go back.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

You have my respect Sir, and I also want you to know that profilaxsis is now available but I don't know when it will get to Nigeria. With it you can remain Negative for life.

Oga sir if am you i wouldn't let anyone know remember third party is a crowd and will give you too much panic and pain.

Nawa, I no go put sand for your garri ooo.

YoungPerson:
They say too many cooks spoil the broth but I'll give you my two cents.

Don't tell anybody. Not even your sister. Make your life as private as possible. If you try it, you will know the true meaning of stigmatization. Even if your family eventually warms up to you (some will never), the truth will out everywhere to your extended family. You won't be able to attend family functions, etc. Don't start an interfamily village people standoff.

Even if you have to, start your family first. Let the child come into the world. If they can reject your child along with you, then they can f**k off. Simple as ABC.

.


Supported

Truth is,if you intend anyone in your family you might want to protect her in a way,make it seem like you both have the virus,you know how families can be they might just low key hate on her for putting you at risk.i mean i commend on your bravery but i feel if i was in ur shoes that's what I'd do.

You are the only one that have made a meaningful comment about this Matter

ichidodo:
There is no such thing as unconditional love and women being more red pilled than us men tis no wonder she has her doubts about you which is why she decided to fall pregnant thereby hedging her bet and tying you down....And women knowing women as to how devious they can be, I would give my right hand to be a fly on the wall where you choose to reveal her and her condition to your female family members...I have two words for you.... "brace yourself"

AngryIgboMan:


Can you imagine this mothafucka called Crazeman03? People stuppid gan ooo.

Maybe he even married an Olosho who was sleeping around and caught the virus. Abeg, wetin I no sabi, no go sabi me.

Can you imagine? In love with a HIV patient? Not like you don't know. But you knew and went ahead to start sleeping with her? In the name of love?

Anybody that tries this nonsense is nothing short of an iddiot. Love kee you dia.

U think its written on the face abi so many people have this virus and dont tell their spouse because of stigmatization from people like u they keep it away
Moreover who says u are immune from being infected

Is she the one feeding you...

Don't lie you don't really deserve her if she didn't have HIV

I see desperation on your side to continue feeding off a lady.

Congratulations! Atleast it's not Corona Corona!

emyrald91:
Help how?

You know get sense?

HIV is not a death sentence though.

But let me ask you, do you know your current status?

Bro you don’t need to disturb yourself because this story is nothing but a Nollywood one. Do believe everything you read on nairaland.

Clap for yourself.
Sebi you're in love.

Though the story seems fake to me.
The carelessness described here is to much to believe.