Ybaby:
Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.

UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!

Ybaby:


Sir, if you want to be eating from your wife's sweat you are welcome to eat it... infact some parents eat from thier young kids sweat and ask them to hawk. Everybody wants different for thier life.

I gave my opinion and experience and belief.

However every human has free will.

Eat away sir. (It is a prayer)

generationz:


Nope, why?

dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

TheSociopath:


Your comment sounded like you were married

tunmiluabi:


Glorious! Thanks. In my marriage I was the one deprived of affection and everything that comes with being married. I never for once looked else where and never discussed with anyone except now on this forum. I have always known that my condition was not permanent. I and believed that I was going rewrite my own story. All I wanted was a go at an opportunity and for her to stand by me and which never came. But when it finally came, the deed has been done. Forgiveness is grace, I have done that already. I swear I have nothing against her. To be honest, she doesn't even know that I have a job. She only knows I am not dead. She has called to let me know that I should work hard to help raise my kid. I am sure she is surprised, I send money to her account on a monthly basis for our kid's upkeep. There is no need for me to brag to her about my current status. If she finally knows, it will great for her. I believe the greatest gift in life is not just knowledge or wisdom but grace to believe, believe, and believe again. At the moment, I have not taken a decision on what next line of action is but what I do know is that she is not in any of the my plans. At the moment I am concentrating on re-certifications that I have not done in years. I will update you guy as LIFE gives me more "feedbacks".

UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

dayleke:
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?

UjuJoan2:


I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!

CAPSLOCKED:


THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

crackland:

Not an easy feat at all...

Glad to know you understand there is a superior gender.

UjuJoan2:


I meant that as an irony.

Of course, if men were truly superior they would never find themselves in a position where mere women will have to cater for them. It's that assumption of superiority that has put you guys in this exact position.

dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

Ybaby:


It has worked for me for 19 years and works for many people too.

The ones who donot adher to roles open marital thread on Nairaland

Ybaby:


You write so long though I did not read it so will not know if it is well but a few infidels read it.

If you are still asking you wife to pay Bills then you need below.

Content writers long epistle people can earn money from it. $85 per hour on up work....

Go for it.

Ybaby:


Oga ade, the epistle is long so I did not read it.

Pls refer back to your free will.

Thanks

Ybaby:

Raalsalghul:


Now I understand why Dirkcoyt is not interested in marriage.

What, is it with all this fuckery that "baby" persona is pasting.

Jeez!

CAPSLOCKED:


THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

crackland:

Bro any man that remains in the house eating his wife's money after life happened to him, is on his own.

Same thing I've always stated here.

He ought to move far away from her and only visit occasionally to see the kids.
If it's not against his moral/ethical codes, he can have a side-chic at his new base to release tension once in a while.

Ybaby:


I can NEVER aspire to be your mum.

She has a son seeking to be fed by a woman and he then shames women for being provided for in marriage.

Her son is a woman because he grew up seeing her be the man of the house - the provider.

Again you have no idea where your mum has taken her vagina too.... you will never know how many times that vagina has been traded to put food on your table..... not traded in marriage like mine ( your dad had nothing to offer her).... but traded on the high way because your father was not man enough to provide for his family.

If you go low I will go lower. Be warned I am not M Obama

crackland:

Whatever the irony, what you meant by that statement is, a man who provides for his family without complaints, is superior to a woman.

Yes or yes?

Genset:




Awwwwn. Am happy for u sis. What is ur advise for unmarried young girls like me?

Genset:



Very true. U re Igbo right?