₦airaland Forum

MrBrownJay1:
just because a woman may consider marriage to a man, doesnt mean this man can come to her recklessly.

didnt you read the part where it was written that the babe has been "disturbed" by the dude with marriage proposal?! so YES, the babe is minding her business, some guy is DISTURBING her with marriage proposal while he doesnt even have a place of his own... is that not in insult?



pregnancy to a man who cant even afford his own place?! god forbids bad rubbish. stop wishing ills and misery on others!



just because it is a woman's dream to get married and have kids, certainly does NOT mean "they should" with the 1st broke legged donkey that comes their way. is it?!



you are absolutely RIGHT... now is it wrong for a woman to refuse to marry a man who isnt independent enough to have his own place?! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
again, this man didnt say:"lets get a place together and get married" he said: let's get married while i live at my parents home, and later we can move" which IMHO is wrong.



marriage also isnt a gamble... get your priorities straight before wanting to marry someone.

What does the girl do for a living??

Rozz:
Why will a guy who stays in his parent's house think of marriage

My sister it's condition o. Will he not marry before?

Kirinwa:
With which money will he move to his own house? Is it the epileptic #30 000 stipend?

Funny people full here.

maybe one room...where they will be bathing outside..some guys nor dey try..what has he been doing for 35 years soon he will b 40..na wah o
.well he is d first son so no need to leave his fathers house he should remain there .there is nothing d girl would do that will make a 35 years old grown up man change his mind..his sis should learn to live with it..pathetic

As if ur sister has a choice..what if after renting and relocating with ur sister things get worse that they couldnt pay for the house after it might have expired n they were forced to go back to his fathers house nko?..make una no dey fast past una shadow..that ur sister dat is giving person condition does she have her own apartment?

savvy12:
According to her,he is not making any plans to relocate.He doesn't even know where to relocate to because the N-power job he does is in the village.He is not searching for alternative jobs too.He is 35.
He doesn't have any married brother.He is the first child.

Taa 35years in family house,God forbid pls my dear sister tell your lovely sister make she leave that lazy man with N-power Job, if truly that man have plan to relocate he should have done that earlier before he even clock 30years,in other way round I don't know maybe Age is on your sister Side. If your sister age is between 25 -28 she can leave that lazy idiot but if she is 30th upward let her pressure him to leave that family house b/4 marry him.
** That man they vex me**

Don't marry him. Not because of the house, but because he's too laid back. At 35 he's not thinking of ways to better his life. 30k cannot pay antenatal fees. Except your sister is ready for farm work.


House in the village is cheap. With 30k he could get at least 2rooms. In fact, saying he doesn't know where to relocate to is a red flag. No future ambition. As in.. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah.

malcom1X:
Family house is different from living with the parents, we don't know how big the family house looks like but if it can accommodate your sister then no problem.

She is part of the family once she gets married to the guy.
He is also running the Dad's business too not that bad.

Tell your sister to stop putting pressure on the guy.
Or leave the relationship or at the very least contribute money and pay for a house so they can move out.

Moving out is not even sensible. His job and business is in the village. Will he move out and be transporting to and fro?

eni4real:
Accommodation+ Agent+agreement+caution fees etc will drain that guy!!

He has not even spent on the Wedding yet

I am just trying to picture what was going on in his mind!!

Staying in the Family's house for a while, may be the best for him!!

Nobody should discourage them

the guy has 6 siblings minus his parents o,let's remember,even if they are staying in a mansion, it will not be easy for that lady.


There is no crime in wanting comfort for one's self not everyone is built for suffer head or incovinience ,it doesn't make them a bad person either. I personally will rather be in a one room sef con in the privacy of my own place with my husband than be in a mansion with his family. Two is company,three is ... You know the rest.



Lest I forget,they live in the village ,I don't think your first statement holds water, some villages still rent out rooms as low as 500 naira.

eni4real:
What does the girl do for a living??

dont know but whatever she does, the brotha was bold enough to disturb her with marriage proposal...

supercase1:
Bro u are not a woman,a man is the head of the house not a woman it's better for a woman to stay at her parents house it's signifies dignity in our culture where a woman needs to be humble and respectful.nothing wrong if she has her own house though.but as for 35yr old man in his parents house instead of thinking to invest and improving his life to be thinking of marring in his father house.
Haba all I can say is that
ITS IS FINISHED

it will definitely end in tears ..a guy 35 still living with ur parents spits at 22 self me don move nonsence..that what u get when u are too comfortable in ur comfort zone..imagine the mum telling this adult that food is ready.i pray my son nor go be like this lazy beast God forbid

MrBrownJay1:
dont know but whatever she does, the brotha was bold enough to disturb her with marriage proposal...

She should get a job too

savvy12:
According to her,he is not making any plans to relocate. He doesn't even know where to relocate to because the N-Power job he does is in the village. He is not searching for alternative jobs too. He is 35.
He doesn't have any married brother. He is the first child.

Ehn 30 kinii?? I have a similar story to this but this one pass me Abeg....

eni4real:
She should get a job too

of course she should (if she hasnt got one already) but thats irrelevant to the issue of marrying a dude to go live with his parents.

eni4real:
Accommodation+ Agent+agreement+caution fees etc will drain that guy!!

He has not even spent on the Wedding yet

I am just trying to picture what was going on in his mind!!

Staying in the Family's house for a while, may be the best for him!!

Nobody should discourage them

if u reason like this at 40 he will still be under his parents...mum go still dey cook for a 40 year old man..I feel for the mum.no mum deserves this.the guy should return all monies spent during his naming ceremony it's not fair na

okine4real:
Someday,I will write about how I got married to Nairalanders. When I wanted to get married, I still leaved in the house I grew up. Its a two bed room flat, Dad was late, two of mine sisters where married, but mine mum, mine sister and mine brother was still around. I told mine wife I wanted to still stay in the family house, the house was very cheap, so I told her,let's stay here and use the opportunity to save, build our own house and accomplish things. She agreed,I must say the truth, it was hell for her, but I thank God, she loved me more than she even loved herself. She endured with me, when I say it was hell, I mean it was hell for her, I remember there was a time mine younger sister called her Ashawo, they fight most times, even mine wife and mine mum had the same issues, but she loved me so so much. I will always beg her, talk to her and we would move on. Today I have built a two story building for her, atleast yearly she gets a rent of atleat 3M yearly. I also built another one that has 25units of room and parlor self contain for her. I also have another 10units of room and parlor self contain that I also built for her. We still leave in the same family house even as am tying this message. But now my mum has moved out and the house has being given too me. We leave very happy, when we look back when we started dating and where we are now, we just laugh. The funny thing is, the house we get 3M rent yearly was built in the area we grew up. We both grew up in the same area, so people seems to be surprise that we where able to build such a house despite they know our levels when we started.I was wearing a very tattered shirt and trouser daily.I used to eat beans 30Naira and yam 20Naira. Am only saying this, just for the readers to know that, the way a man starts might not depict how he would end.

Back too OP, everybody has to write there own destiny. Your sister might move in with him and along the line, things will fall in place for the better or get worst.one weapon that will see them through this journey is, if the guy loves your sister dearly. For me mine marriage would have ended if not that I love mine wife. Family members would try and say bad things about your sister to her husband,but if her husband loves her, he would know they are only trying to manipulate him. Even till date mine brother tells mine wife jokeinly that they know she has washed something for me to eat. They tell mine wife that, that place she went to get her powers from that they also know the place. Each time mine wife tells me, I just wave it off because I know what they are trying to do.

Moving in with him in the family house mine favour them and it might not. But I must tell you, its not going to be easy... Am telling you from experience, if your sister wear fine JUDGE, hope I got the spelling right, the husbands mother would be eyeing her, because the husbands mum know the cost of the JUDGE, So she would be saying your sister is eating there sons money. I will end it here and I will tell you guys also how I married mine wife and how we spent 70k for our traditional wedding in the village. Am talking of confirm wedding ohh in 2012. Now we have three kids, we all very happy. I will write about it here very soon. I just want Nairalander guys to know that, there are still good women out there, so don't be scared of getting married. Also I know marry Village babe ohh, I marry confirm IGBORO BABE. Know be babe when know know what's up ohh, in terms of relationship, she was more advance than me 10 times but things just work out because we both agreed to let things work.

Cheers

Baba you too much.

OP there is limit to the advise we can give you here because we do not know a lot of background information about parties involved. Could it be that your sister also lives in the village and perhaps with a lesser source of income compare to what his suitor has or no source of income at all? There is no straight answer here. It is all a matter of choice and taste. If your sister and her suitor are from village setting then they may not have any issue. Marriages in typical villages in Nigeria are carried out without sources of income, and marrying into a family house is not strange at all. What should matter now is where both parties see themselves in the nearest future and what they are determined to do to actualize it.

nick50:
As if ur sister has a choice..what if after renting and relocating with ur sister things get worse that they couldnt pay for the house after it might have expired n they were forced to go back to his fathers house nko?..make una no dey fast past una shadow..that ur sister dat is giving person condition does she have her own apartment?

they should rent a house first...its not new people face challenges and return to base but they should have the experience first that's what' makes u a man d guy in question should be suffering from inferiority complex or depression I am certain..how can a 35 year old man still be living with his parents it has never been heard of

Kirinwa:
My sister it's condition o. Will he not marry before?

Let him find a way around that condition first before thinking of marriage.

osazsky:
if u reason like this at 40 he will still be under his parents...mum go still dey cook for a 40 year old man..I feel for the mum.no mum deserves this.the guy should return all monies spent during his naming ceremony it's not fair na

They are only staying in one of the apartment in the house.. We don't know the number of Flats/Units there??

They will definitely feed themselves!!!

I am sure they are going to make it!!

savvy12:
My younger Sister has a suitor who has been disturbing her for marriage. The guy is an n-power beneficiary and currently runs his dad's little business.

The problem is that he still lives in his family house but promised my Sister that he will relocate once they get married. We told my sister not to accept his proposal because he might refuse to relocate after marriage.

Note: he stays in the village and he is a graduate too.

she should never try it in her lifetime...even if its a room self contain let the guy get if he truly wants to marry now.

I was there ....it cost me a living soul before the yoke got broken after 5yrs.

no matter how he sugarcoat the house, the lady should never oblige please


I had a thread in this years ago...living under same roof with parent inlaw

Well am not a fan of a man living with his parents but if I must probe the premise of your discourse, It would be just to say your chasing cars blind folded on the high way. The last I checked, Adenuga, Dangote, Atiku, Orji Uzor Kalu, Otedola, Adebutu Kesington, Asiwaju Tinubu and the likes all have their married children living with them on the same compound so whats the fuss about here?

okine4real:
Someday,I will write about how I got married to Nairalanders. When I wanted to get married, I still leaved in the house I grew up. Its a two bed room flat, Dad was late, two of mine sisters where married, but mine mum, mine sister and mine brother was still around. I told mine wife I wanted to still stay in the family house, the house was very cheap, so I told her,let's stay here and use the opportunity to save, build our own house and accomplish things. She agreed,I must say the truth, it was hell for her, but I thank God, she loved me more than she even loved herself. She endured with me, when I say it was hell, I mean it was hell for her, I remember there was a time mine younger sister called her Ashawo, they fight most times, even mine wife and mine mum had the same issues, but she loved me so so much. I will always beg her, talk to her and we would move on. Today I have built a two story building for her, atleast yearly she gets a rent of atleat 3M yearly. I also built another one that has 25units of room and parlor self contain for her. I also have another 10units of room and parlor self contain that I also built for her. We still leave in the same family house even as am tying this message. But now my mum has moved out and the house has being given too me. We leave very happy, when we look back when we started dating and where we are now, we just laugh. The funny thing is, the house we get 3M rent yearly was built in the area we grew up. We both grew up in the same area, so people seems to be surprise that we where able to build such a house despite they know our levels when we started.I was wearing a very tattered shirt and trouser daily.I used to eat beans 30Naira and yam 20Naira. Am only saying this, just for the readers to know that, the way a man starts might not depict how he would end.

Back too OP, everybody has to write there own destiny. Your sister might move in with him and along the line, things will fall in place for the better or get worst.one weapon that will see them through this journey is, if the guy loves your sister dearly. For me mine marriage would have ended if not that I love mine wife. Family members would try and say bad things about your sister to her husband,but if her husband loves her, he would know they are only trying to manipulate him. Even till date mine brother tells mine wife jokeinly that they know she has washed something for me to eat. They tell mine wife that, that place she went to get her powers from that they also know the place. Each time mine wife tells me, I just wave it off because I know what they are trying to do.

Moving in with him in the family house mine favour them and it might not. But I must tell you, its not going to be easy... Am telling you from experience, if your sister wear fine JUDGE, hope I got the spelling right, the husbands mother would be eyeing her, because the husbands mum know the cost of the JUDGE, So she would be saying your sister is eating there sons money. I will end it here and I will tell you guys also how I married mine wife and how we spent 70k for our traditional wedding in the village. Am talking of confirm wedding ohh in 2012. Now we have three kids, we all very happy. I will write about it here very soon. I just want Nairalander guys to know that, there are still good women out there, so don't be scared of getting married. Also I know marry Village babe ohh, I marry confirm IGBORO BABE. Know be babe when know know what's up ohh, in terms of relationship, she was more advance than me 10 times but things just work out because we both agreed to let things work.

Cheers

Hello, u pm me

MrBrownJay1:
of course she should (if she hasnt got one already) but thats irrelevant to the issue of marrying a dude to go live with his parents.

It is not irrelevant!!
Jobless woman should turn down proposal because they are jobless not because the guy, who is ready to sponsor the wedding, want to take an apartment in the family house!!

Ade3000yrs:
Well am not a fan of a man living with his parents but if I must probe the premise of your discourse, It would be just to say your chasing cars blind folded on the high way. The last I checked, Adenuga, Dangote, Atiku, Orji Uzor Kalu, Otedola, Adebutu Kesington, Asiwaju Tinubu and the likes all have their married children living with them on the same compound so whats the fuss about here?

married sons and daughters oga go and sit down

malcom1X:
Family house is different from living with the parents, we don't know how big the family house looks like but if it can accommodate your sister then no problem.

She is part of the family once she gets married to the guy.
He is also running the Dad's business too not that bad.

Tell your sister to stop putting pressure on the guy.
Or leave the relationship or at the very least contribute money and pay for a house so they can move out.

sent you a mail, pls respond!! thanks

savvy12:
My younger Sister has a suitor who has been disturbing her for marriage. The guy is an n-power beneficiary and currently runs his dad's little business.

The problem is that he still lives in his family house but promised my Sister that he will relocate once they get married. We told my sister not to accept his proposal because he might refuse to relocate after marriage.

Note: he stays in the village and he is a graduate too.

No way..he must get an apartment in the city..if not your sister should not agree at all..

some adults here they surprise me see them encouraging a 35 year old man to remain in his father's house no wonder most of them here celebrate FTC na wah o

eni4real:
What if she come from a poverty background too??

Is Marriage a 'poverty alleviation program'??

She should work hard too and then settle with a man of her new class!!

If she comes from a poor background..Its not her fault, at least she did not have the chance to choose rich or poor parent when coming to earth...
But now, d power is in her hand to choose riches or poverty..
to d question u asked..YES SIR (Use marriage to escape poverty if u have sense..
Use what u have to get what u want.....

Ishilove:
1) Not making any plans to relocate
2) Doesn't even know where to relocate to.
3) His 30k N-power work is village based
4) Not searching for viable alternatives to augment his meagre income.
5) He is the FIRST child

Verdict- The suitor is NFA. No future ambition.

Op, tell your sister to talk to her two legs. If the legs refuse to listen, let her beg them.

I agree with u. Buh believe u in me life is so unpredictable

femmyapson:
If she comes from a poor background..Its not her fault, at least she did not have the chance to choose rich or poor parent when coming to earth...
But now, d power is in her hand to choose riches or poverty..
to d question u asked..YES SIR (Use marriage to escape poverty if u have sense..
Use what u have to get what u want..

Marriage is not a Philanthropist-Beneficiary relationship!!

It is not a 'Poverty alleviation program'!!

She should get a job and continue with her loving partner!!

If it is easy to choose a rich husband, no woman will be broke by now

Leave the couple alone!!!

Never!!! I can't even date a guy living in his family house