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VickyRotex:


That part isn't really clear in the op's write up. Nonetheless, I encourage the op's sister to ensure they have a place prior to the wedding/marriage. They can both put resources together if the guy feels limited by money, but if the money is available and he's still not serious, no plans, nothing, then she should leave.
Again it's her choice, there's only little we can say.

True talk.
But if what the op wrote is the truth, then I can tell you that young man is comfortable with his present situation and have no plans to move out or look for a better job.

He's just waiting for his father die so that he can take over the father's business and family house.

franozx:


Let me not me biased... It all depends sha but u know living in your family house with your new wife won't make your wife very comfortable especially when your people/your wife aren't very tolerating... So started your new home away from home will be the best option here...

I hope the new home will improve his salary scale rit? abi its just all about the girls decision? a reasonable person will not expect a guy to rent a house and still work around his family house, that's stupidity.. a wife that is not in good terms with the husbands side is not a good wife and don't worth bringing home

ume1000:
am not saying its right ,but the way we make it seem a 35yr old lady living in her father's house is better than her male counterpart is rediculous

Bro u are not a woman,a man is the head of the house not a woman it's better for a woman to stay at her parents house it's signifies dignity in our culture where a woman needs to be humble and respectful.nothing wrong if she has her own house though.but as for 35yr old man in his parents house instead of thinking to invest and improving his life to be thinking of marring in his father house.
Haba all I can say is that
ITS IS FINISHED

Never. As a woman I no longer live with my parents, so?

We can stay at my place and manage for a while before God answers but I can NEVER stay with him in his father's house.

Is your sister willing and ready to settle in the village?

I think the "village" issue is the major factor, not getting an apartment. No man will leave his village for the city because of marriage.

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simplexvi:
I hope the new home will improve his salary scale rit? abi its just all about the girls decision? a reasonable person will not expect a guy to rent a house and still work around his family house, that's stupidity.. a wife that is not in good terms with the husbands side is not a good wife and don't worth bringing home

Knowledge is in your Blood

ume1000:
marriage is a two man's boat
All am saying is that both should get thier priorities right

come on man, this woman is sitting home minding her own biz, some dude come and say he wants to marry her, while he doesnt even have a place of his own... who in their right mind would even take his proposal seriously?! and now, you now want to make this a two man's boat?!

the man didnt say:"lets rent a house together" OR "i am broke now so if you can help me with rent, we can get a place together and finally get married".... he only promised that he will relocate AFTER marriage, thus any wise person will simply ask:" why cant you relocate now, before we get married?!

or you think some women want to marry men that promise them the moon, like banana island mansion, to later realize that the dude can only afford a mud hut in the bush?!

simplepee:
Never. As a woman I no longer live with my parents, so?

We can stay at my place and manage for a while before God answers but I can NEVER stay with him in his father's house.

I like this one

The guy is absolutely unserious to me ,you don’t have a stable income and you want to get married? You think say na love go feed una ..plus he’s not even living in a family house ,he’s living with his parents ..the guy no go get head not to talk of sense .. he should go and get a stable income first no matter how small and then get his own apartment even if it just bed then he can be thinking of Marriage

Xendra has created another account to comment on this thread. She has forsaken her moniker cos I'm trailing her
I will find her out soon.

My sister is better you accept his proposal ooooo before all those slay Kings go chop you finish and before you know you don clock 40 no marry
Beside he is a graduate and a hustler too so no condition is permanent

#men are scars oooo
Marriage is hard to get

Onyi22:
I can't ooo, if he is not done building his mansion, he shouldn't even think of marrying me

Rich men turn you on!

simplexvi:
I hope the new home will improve his salary scale rit? abi its just all about the girls decision? a reasonable person will not expect a guy to rent a house and still work around his family house, that's stupidity.. a wife that is not in good terms with the husbands side is not a good wife and don't worth bringing home

When I mean renting a house, he must cut his cloth according to his size. He should look for an affordable apartment and rent... And too the man shouldnt see npower as an employment. He should leave his comfort_zone and challenge himself into engaging in some other work(odd job inclusive)

MrBrownJay1:


come on man, this woman is sitting home minding her own biz, some dude come and say he wants to marry her, while he doesnt even have a place of his own... who in their right mind would even take his proposal seriously?! and now, you now want to make this a two man's boat?!

the man didnt say:"lets rent a house together" OR "i am broke now so if you can help me with rent, we can get a place together and finally get married".... he only promised that he will relocate AFTER marriage, thus any wise person will simply ask:" why cant you relocate now, before we get married?!

or you think some women want to marry men that promise them the moon, like banana island mansion, to later realize that the dude can only afford a mud hut in the bush?!

She was sitting at home minding her business??

So she doesn't want Marriage too??

If Pregnancy comes now, won't she be singing DUDUKE up and down??

It is her dream to get married and have children too, don't put everything on the guy !!

Marriage is a 2way thing!! They should build each other up and have a lasting love!!

That is the best!!

Marriage is not a Philanthropist-Beneficiary relationship

Let them stay in the Family house now, it is their decision!!

They will make it together!!

Renting house(AKA getting an accommodation) is not an achievement

Emotionss:
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True talk.
But if what the op wrote is the truth, then I can tell you that young man is comfortable with his present situation and have no plans to move out or look for a better job.

He's just waiting for his father die so that he can take over the father's business and family house.

Waawwwuuuu!!! This is another angle. Hopefully not.

franozx:


When I mean renting a house, he must cut his cloth according to his size. He should look for an affordable apartment and rent... And too the man shouldnt see npower as an employment. He should leave his comfort_zone and challenge himself into engaging in some other work(odd job inclusive)

my comment was based on what was posted, I hope the girl never said he is the lazy type

I think your sister should talk him into getting an apartment even if it's within the vicinity if at all he doesn't want to relocate elsewhere. I advise you don't stay in the family house because there are things you won't be able to tolerate.

savvy12:
My younger Sister has a suitor who has been disturbing her for marriage. The guy is an n-power beneficiary and currently runs his dad's little business.

The problem is that he still lives in his family house but promised my Sister that he will relocate once they get married. We told my sister not to accept his proposal because he might refuse to relocate after marriage.

Note: he stays in the village and he is a graduate too.

The relocating part after they marry is a BIG lie but if your sister is employed already and loves him. She should go ahead if she can cope with extended family wahala over little things like who bathed here without sweeping away water , you didn't greet me today, besides using your monthly salary for extended feeding.

If she's sacrificial and humble. She stands a chance.

But is N power a job? Just asking for a friend. This one government can decide whether to pay or not to pay or sack or not to sack.

It's very dicey sha.

simplexvi:
my comment was based on what was posted, I hope the girl never said he is the lazy type

Same with mine.... Anyway am off

simplexvi:
if you are a guy now, and the first born, and also u work around your family house, will u rent house for any reason? we stayed a while in my grandfather's house before my dad completed his house...he shud leave only when he got a better job, 30k is no money at all

Yes, I will.

To your point about the 30k, I agree that its not sufficient. I dont know what the sister is also willing to contribute.

My own is if they dont have their basic needs, ("needs" is relative) prior to the wedding they can either decide to move the wedding and work to achieve what they want prior to the wedding. This is not a "one shoe size fits all" kind of thing. The fact that it works/worked for you, doesn't mean it works for everyone.
And you keep looking at it from the man and the lady's point of view, you're not considering what the guy's family thinks, or how events will unfold in the near future. Or if the guy's siblings decides to get married and bring their wives to the same family house. Of course it's their father's house, so they have the same right too.

MrBrownJay1:


tell your sista to give the dude this simple reply:" when you relocate and get your own place, i will marry you"

Such things can be arranged with a friend. After 2 weeks of marriage, the real owners will take possession and she has no choice.

There are people that married and later relocated to family house due to hardship.

eni4real:
She was sitting at home minding her business??
So she doesn't want Marriage too??

just because a woman may consider marriage to a man, doesnt mean this man can come to her recklessly.

didnt you read the part where it was written that the babe has been "disturbed" by the dude with marriage proposal?! so YES, the babe is minding her business, some guy is DISTURBING her with marriage proposal while he doesnt even have a place of his own... is that not an insult?

If Pregnancy comes now, won't she be singing DUDUKE up and down??

pregnancy to a man who cant even afford his own place?! god forbids bad rubbish. stop wishing ills and misery on others!

It is her dream to get married and have children too, don't put everything on the guy !!

just because it is a woman's dream to get married and have kids, certainly does NOT mean "they should" with the 1st broke legged donkey that comes their way. is it?!

Marriage is a 2way thing!! They should build each other up and have a lasting love!!That is the best!!

you are absolutely RIGHT... now is it wrong for a woman to refuse to marry a man who isnt independent enough to have his own place?! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
again, this man didnt say:"lets get a place together and get married" he said: let's get married while i live at my parents home, and later we can move" which IMHO is wrong.

Marriage is not a Philanthropist-Beneficiary relationship

marriage also isnt a gamble... get your priorities straight before wanting to marry someone.

VickyRotex:


What do you mean by he might refuse to relocate?
Is he showing any signs that makes you think he wants to live in his parents house forever?
Does he have brothers that are already married and staying in the same house with his parents?

I've seen cases where the guy moves from his parents house few months to their wedding. So this one isnt an exception. But the once he gets married part is what I dont understand.

I don't see anything wrong with this if and only if he is making plans to move to his own house before the wedding. So I'd advice your sister, that they both work on that prior to the wedding.

If there are any further showstoppers, then she should step out of it.

With which money will he move to his own house? Is it the epileptic #30 000 stipend?

Funny people full here.

savvy12:

According to her,he is not making any plans to relocate.He doesn't even know where to relocate to because the N-power job he does is in the village.He is not searching for alternative jobs too.He is 35.
He doesn't have any married brother.He is the first child.

First child you said? He's in the right place.

Why will a guy who stays in his parent's house think of marriage

Kirinwa:
Such things can be arranged with a friend. After 2 weeks of marriage, the real owners will take possession and she has no choice.
There are people that married and later relocated to family house due to hardship.

if it is indeed so easy to arrange after 2 weeks of marriage then why dont they delay the marriage for 2 weeks so they can have their own homes when they get married. why all the secrecy surrounding the need to get married and only move later?!

savvy12:

According to her,he is not making any plans to relocate.He doesn't even know where to relocate to because the N-power job he does is in the village.He is not searching for alternative jobs too.He is 35.
He doesn't have any married brother.He is the first child.

at 35 still doing n power ..some guys sha they need better flogging.what is wrong in learning a skills

Oluromantic:

I'm offering same advice. He shd work towards relocating. Once he does that, they're good to go

It's either your sister marries him or let him be. Don't put that young man into temptation.

Las las your sister gets pregnant for him. You people will beg him to come and carry. I have the video.

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