rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

bukatyne:

What kind of demonic entitlement is this?
Is it the money you kept with them you are asking for?

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

sweetmelanin:


I don't blame them. I blame the gullible ones abroad who keep sending their hard earned money for others to squander. God forbid I send a dime to anybody back home - when I'm not an ATM machine.

Tommorow its these same people that will start bad mouthing you that abroad people are "living in cubicle, they are broke, they pay bills, they work menial jobs" etc.... but they are shameless enough to beg money from you

eazzzy1:


This is not always the case for immigrants, especially the ones of coming from Africa. There is a minimum wage system in most developed country, meaning no matter what you do, you can not earn below certain amount of money. These wages are put in place with consideration to cost of living, i.e housing, transport, feeding, taxation etc. Most minimum wages are livable wages, you can survive and live comfortably if you live according to your means.

Most Diasporans who come back home only do so because they do not see themselves doing these minimum wage paying jobs. e.g your cousin with a master degree wouldn't want to work as a security or sales associate at a store. Depending on ones course of study, grades, age, past work experience, not every diasporan will get the career of their choice. As long as you are able and willing to work and spend according to your means, you won't suffer.

jaxxy:



Look at Davido and the other guy. Stingy is a word in the dictionary for a reason. Don’t makes excuses for bullshit.

While I understand nobody owes u anything bla bla bla and there are many factors at play b4 a dear friend helps u out. Don’t get it twisted. Stingy is a Real Word. Check the meaning in the dictionary. Just like a Miser is a Real Ass Word.

Whether it’s bad or good in now relative. Lol

MrBigiman:
Very true. I decided to do my worst and not to send anyone for the past 7months, and I was surprised how much I saved.

More surprising was the fact that no one died or was homeless from me not sending any money to them

wisdomiskey:


How dare you feel entitled to money someone else worked for?

People with your mindset often live and DIE in poverty because they spend they whole life with a bambiala mentality.

ajl:


Some Nigerians can lie. It is easy to know when someone is lying, as the chap above. As in every parts of the world, there are the doing very good, the doing good, the doing not so good, and the I wish I did not leave Nigeria. Problem No. 1 in the West is if you do not have residency. Most immigrants go through that phase and it's often the most difficult parts of their lives because without legal residency, it is difficult to have money in your pocket.

In the West, even most cleaners have a roof over their heads. One day I had to go give money to the Mexican that usually mow my lawn and I had to drive to the address he gave me. I was expecting that it's an apartment building but rather it was a newly built house in what seem to be a medium middle class neighbourhood. That is someone working as an "ordinary" Gardner as you Nigerians tend to make humble professions look ordinary. so, that is the same "abroad you claimed you always send money to people".

Galadimabawa:
[b][/b] Very good write-up

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

snowland:



Please don't tell him yet. Let him found out by himself. I pray he joins them as soon as possible, so that he can also have better things to say about "abroad" .

smeag0l:
Oga, most people that work for organisations or companies in nigeria pay tax. Ive read this statement about how people don't pay tax in nigeria over and over again on this thread and it annoys me. I pay 25% of my salary as tax.

eazzzy1:


A friend told me about somebody who told him that he is broke and can't even fuel his car in naija .he asked for money from my friend .it's really funny to know that my friend does not even have a car abroad and not even a house of his own.people in naija don't know that you have to pay house rents every month,u have to pay all the bills every month ,electricity and water.you can't dodge it ,u have to pay radio and television taxes .The system abroad is based on taxes so that this tax can be used to help others and the develop the country.it is designed to take away from the rich to help the poor ,to balance the gap bw rich and poor.so when u earn much ,u pay more tax.in Nigeria ,u can afford to have 3 or 4 cars but abroad majority in Europe don't have a car,it's expensive to even build a house or buy a house .whereas in naija ,people can have 4 houses .I laugh when people say naija is the worst place on earth.even with all the bad things in naija ,there are some things people in naija still enjoy.when people abroad send all their money back home ,it's because they believe that is where they have hope to build a house and start good business and not abroad.alot of things you can't do abroad because you are a foreigner but you can do in naija .so when people send me request ,I examine the need and see if it's urgent .if not urgent ,u have to wait .it may be after 1 to 3 month.if u can't wait ,u need to find other options.things are also hard abroad,while most Nigerians are asleep,most people abroad are on their way to work as early as 4am .doing tedious job for 8 or more hours




Desperation can bring out the worst in people. I agree with you, i try to set aside a percentage of my earnings for charity, but i discovered that people will always take advantage of it. Some people who make requests end up living better than you, they walk into restaurants and spend money you won't spend on one sitting. You soon start to feel like you are being taken advantage of.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

hakeem4:


In some part of Europe ,taxes is about 30 to 40 percent or more based on your tax class .some pay more tax than others .



Yes, I agree with 90% of what you said, but earning 100K and left with 40K is just an exaggeration. at best you would be left with 65k even if you are living in New York city

Mcslize:


While I won't object the grace of God in making it in life, let me still point it to you that you can actualize all your dreams if you have clear cut plans. You can't just make it if you do not have set goals and work towards them.

Making it in life doesn't require one sitting dormant without upgrading one self. God will only support you if you take action to make life good for yourself.

That's why even the Bible said; faith without action is nothing. You must back up your faith with action. That simply means you must upgrade yourself. You must always look out for new opportunities. You must acquire well sort after skills. Nothing comes by luck without an atom of work behind it.

When God sees that you are doing all you can to make life comfortable for yourself, only then he will come in to make things easy for you. So that a journey that will take you 5yrs to achieve, you will end up achieving it within just 3yrs. That's where the grace of God comes in.

In essence, one must take action for God's grace to locate him. A dormant person that refuses to work or upgrade himself positively, no amount of the grace of God will be sufficient to make life better for such person because he refuses to work or upgrades himself.

If one doeasn't take action, mannas will not fall from heaven for such a person on a platter of gold.

bilulu:

I paid taxes in Nigeria when I was there working but the question is how many people pay tax? That's why people say Nigerians don't pay tax because the moment you don't work white collar, you either don't pay tax or you can boycott the tax burden that can't be said. Everything you do here you pay tax. I changed my tyres from winter to summer 2 weeks ago, the workmanship was $100 and I also paid $12 tax making it $122. That's the tax we re talking about. You repair car, you pay tax, you buy groceries, you pay tax anything that involves money you pay tax. Such is not the same in Nigeria. Apart from the one deducted from the source and Vat nothing more.

sweetmelanin:


You quoted me first madam. Lol.

..and I see you've avoided my question because indeed you see your family members abroad as ATM machines!

Please work for your own money and support them too.. giving is not a one way street!