₦airaland Forum

Hathor5:
It's not about talking or not talking but the quality of the conversation.

Hathor5:
It does not work that way. When we first fall in love, we fall in love with the image of the person, which is 80% the making of our fantasy because we don't know know the person yet and don't have the full true picture of them. As we discover their true self we stay in love, fall deeper or fall out.

Hathor5:
It does not work that way. When we first fall in love, we fall in love with the image of the person, which is 80% the making of our fantasy because we don't know know the person yet and don't have the full true picture of them. As we discover their true self we stay in love, fall deeper or fall out.

cynosuree:
You don't have to be social to be able to contribute intelligently to a conversation. I'm an introvert, not social at all, and I can contribute to pretty much any topic

cynosuree:
I didn't say I want someone who knows quantum physics. I was only trying to emphasize that I'm not expecting him to be an Einstein, I just want him to be able to engage me in normal conversations.

jelel6:
Wow! You have finally worded my phobia of relationships I try to start when I don't know the person organically or from a save, neutral distance at first.

SVandal:
If you want someone to talk quantum theory and mechanics, get a nerd. Your boyfriend is clearly not the chatterbox.

IMO, he's the definition of a "real man" - talk less, act more.

cynosuree:
I didn't say I want someone who knows quantum physics. I was only trying to emphasize that I'm not expecting him to be an Einstein, I just want him to be able to engage me in normal conversations.

XXLMANDIGO:
What level of education did he attain & What attracted you to him in the first place, His Gorgeousness or his Mandigo?

Acidosis:
How is it your business? Leave him to live his life or move on.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.


I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.


I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .


I'd like to know what you think

jeff1607:
you can't have it all

jelel6:
Wow! You have finally worded my phobia of relationships I try to start when I don't know the person organically or from a save, neutral distance at first.

Romangalactic:
No wonder a lot of you keep getting screwed in your romantic relationships.

A grown person who has attained mindfulness follows the process of knowing a person first, getting a big enough picture of them that goes deeper than a projected image before falling in love.

SVandal:
Well, it goes both ways, if you want someone to talk with, get yourself the chatty type.

cynosuree:
Tertiary.

Physical attributes at first.

Hathor5:
Nobody said so.

Scholar94:
Let me simply advise u on how u can help him. It is as simple as giving him a topic u will like to discuss with him prior to the day u guys are gonna meet. Of course, u will have to do that with maturity. I use this trick to carry any lady I found interesting to talk but who might not share similar interests with me or perhaps are not that current. Trust me he will do anything to make sure he holds his points before u guys meet if truly he's into you.

U can follow this format;

ME: (just in d middle of discussion), This incident of George Floyd really hit me. I can't still stop thinking about it he lost his life just like that

SHE: George Floyd?? Who is he?

Me: he is an African American murdered recently in Minneapolis in USA by a USA police officer. He was accused of spending fake $20 at a grocery store. Americans and their racism!! I'm sure the guy was murdered because he's black

Her: (crying emogy)...

Me: I'm even thinking we talk about this when next time we meet.

This might look like ya forcing thing. But really to me, it is not. We are simply bringing out the best in each other. It is almost impossible to find a partner that will fit into all u want. U will have to build the castle yourself!

Hathor5:
Congratulations on being the grown mindful person.

StubbornGENIUS:
Are you sure this is not the OP's alternate account

Hathor5:
It's the second time I am supposed to be someone else. Interesting. Everyone is someone else on this forum allegedly.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.


I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.


I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .


I'd like to know what you think

Scholar94:
Let me simply advise u on how u can help him. It is as simple as giving him a topic u will like to discuss with him prior to the day u guys are gonna meet. Of course, u will have to do that with maturity. I use this trick to carry any lady I found interesting to talk but who might not share similar interests with me or perhaps are not that current. Trust me he will do anything to make sure he holds his points before u guys meet if truly he's into you.

U can follow this format;

ME: (just in d middle of discussion), This incident of George Floyd really hit me. I can't still stop thinking about it he lost his life just like that

SHE: George Floyd?? Who is he?

Me: he is an African American murdered recently in Minneapolis in USA by a USA police officer. He was accused of spending fake $20 at a grocery store. Americans and their racism!! I'm sure the guy was murdered because he's black

Her: (crying emogy)...

Me: I'm even thinking we talk about this when next time we meet.

This might look like ya forcing thing. But really to me, it is not. We are simply bringing out the best in each other. It is almost impossible to find a partner that will fit into all u want. U will have to build the castle yourself!

cynosuree:
You don't have to be social to be able to contribute intelligently to a conversation. I'm an introvert, not social at all, and I can contribute to pretty much any topic

Acidosis:
How is it your business? Leave him to live his life or move on.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.


I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.


I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .


I'd like to know what you think

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.


I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.


I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .


I'd like to know what you think