ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

baby124:

Women also do have sex with men they don’t love. That’s not unique to men alone, but women get judged. They mostly do it secretly though. On both sides this has to do with your state of mind/morals. However be ready for the consequences when you make that decision. To his wife he may not even be her cutest catch but maybe the one that offers her escape from poverty . The girl is probably the smartest in this whole thing because she got her desired outcome, while he’s bitter because his fraudulent act backfired.

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

CsRockefeller:


All through, I was the one even pushing her to go to school. In no way was I manipulating her to keep her around.

We never saw since I left school, just phone calls so there was no way I could have stopped her from being free, it's what's she tells me I believe.

She saw that the friendship was very valuable to her and decided to stay despite we not dating.

I believe I did no wrong, I told her why we can't be, she acknowledged but we still kept in touch.

Tomorrow when she completes her education, she will look back and be happy she met someone who pushed her not someone who was interested in her body or frivolities.

@Mariangeles

HembaqMbk:
Bible says "Love your wife". It is a commandment. So just love her. It is the only way to cope.

AnanseK:


I agree with you. But imagine the society insisting that Ashewos should marry customers who visited them , with no option at all.

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

ImaIma1:
I guess sex happened or she just fell pregnant.

If not, why get intimate with someone you can't seem to stand.

bukatyne:


Brother Ollins,

If this lady is as terrible as this, how were you able to get an erection to stick it into her?

How did you start the toasting to get her into your bed and arms?

The same magic you worked to get her pregnant, use it again.

It is in you like peak!

ollins:
Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

Righteousness89:
As Long as you have Married her, She is your wife...

As for Love, open up yourself and your Family to God... As you two begin to Love God, His Love will begin to reignite Love in your Home..

The More you two connect together to God in prayers and in his word, Baba will sort you two out..

PharmaGirl:

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

Righteousness89:
As Long as you have Married her, She is your wife...

As for Love, open up yourself and your Family to God... As you two begin to Love God, His Love will begin to reignite Love in your Home..

The More you two connect together to God in prayers and in his word, Baba will sort you two out..

CsRockefeller:
OP I have a feel of what are passing through. It's quite a pity you had sex with her.

I once had this small (petite) Yoruba girl. I was first attracted to her because I thought she was Igbo due to her fair complexion.

We got into d friendship, gosh!! She was there, everyday, every night. She will call with her credit and we will gist in Yoruba, we were an item, yet I refuse to ask her out.

I couldn't imagine myself with a Yoruba lady, even if I managed to get pass that hurdle what about her education? She was a hairstylist, her mom had just passed on, her father was away in Benin Republic, her brother was in Abk, so she was just alone in one room.

Two years gone, we were still friends, she kept on asking why I was taking time I really wanted to love her enough to date her but I couldn't find it. She asked if it was because she wasn't in school, then after my NYSC, she got admission to a Polytechnic, she thought I might have a change of heart. I didn't.

Every opportunity to go see her, I turned it down. It's now 4 years, she has decided to move on. I was still trying to close my eyes and imagine that she isn't Bisola but Nkechi or Chioma. Funny is that we spoke Yoruba everytime we spoke.

She invited me one day for that stuff, I told myself; don't do this if you don't love her enough to date her. I didn't go.

The following month she got a date, but she wasn't feeling it. We kept on talking and my presence was a distraction to her new found love. Las las d guy blocked me everywhere and I decided to let it be.

Sometimes, I just seat and beat my heart or brain for not finding that push or extra space to accommodate that girl in my heart.

Truth is sometimes our heart or feelings just plays tricks on us.

My own case was not that I didn't find a very nice beautiful girl but stupid Tribalism wouldn't let me be.

kaycee125:
But when you hang her leg for your shoulder you no know.

sandrapretty:

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

sylve11:
You're in for a long thing.
In the hay days when you're telling her you loved her just to spread her like bedsheet on top a sheet, so you're telling lies, isn't it?

I will not say much because If you nor know how song take start make you no go hurry dance put, before you go dance GARALA inside ASONTO....

bukatyne:


I don't how brother just popped into my head o jare.

Women missed the plot when they decided to 'sleep' about with commitment aka 'sexual liberation'.

The natural man is a sexual opportunist and will sleep with anything. It takes training, discipline and/ or religion to break out of that pattern. That is why a lady should as much as possible know and understand the dynamics of the relationship before sex.

The natural woman is a sexual victim and will always 'feel' used when a sexual relationship goes wrong. It also takes training, mind renewal and religion (the way it is taught not helpful though) to think differently.

The OP in his sexual opportunist nature slept severally with a girl till she got pregnant. And he can tell us he doesn't love her. Twenty years ago, he would have been flogged in the village square because it is believed at his age, his vision should drive his decisions and not his pen.is

In the spirit of 'freedom and in pursuit of happiness,' he has been told to divorce if he still can't 'feel'.

Anyways, if he got married in the church, he better find the love and build his home with his wife.

There is no provision of divorce due to lack of love and it is 'husbands, love your wives' not 'men, marry who you love.'

armyofone:
How did you have a fling with someone you don't love ? How do you have sex with someone you don't love ? You managed to do both with your eyes wide opened, I'm sure. After you done chop finish, you come see clearly?
Forget "loquaciousness" and focus on building your family.