₦airaland Forum

TheArchangel:
How old is your brother?
Oga, stand your ground in that house.
Force your brother to rent a house for you by raising serious hell and at the same time appearing meek. Sleep in that room when you come back and if the wife and her sisters talk trash, raise hell. Do not budge one beat. Keep your bags in the shop but sleep in that room to avoid them messing up your things. Take the food from that pot and raise hell while doing it. When your brother comes or is around, pretend like they are accusing you falsely.
Remember self defense, beat the sh!t out of any of the sisters that touch you first. You can plead self-defense later. Do not touch the wife but remember to use your mouth to finish her. .
Do not relent. If they can be there, you can be also. It's either your brother chase you all away or peace or resemblance of it will rain in that house.

Madam calm down, there is a peaceful approach to follow issues, I don't know if you are reading what you are typing

bjprodint:
from my small pikin brain i think your brother is to be blamed.he should have never allowed his wife move in with his sisters.he should have lived only with you and his wife,then rent you an apartment when you finish serving him.

Are u sure the brother is not sleeping with one if them?

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

awwwwn you're so Intelligent, I love you.

nemynely:
Dear little man, I am 42yrs old man and will be celebrating my 14th wedding anniversary this year by God's grace.
Just take it from me when I give veave a passmark. She didn't just vomit the things she wrote spontaneously. She sat back, replayed championxxx story, captured vital angles and addressed them accordingly without mentioning God or Satan.
I envy the man who would ask for her hand in marriage (here's assuming she isn't) because her wisdom will guard her home as a mother hen does her chicks.

She is saying things that you'll like to hear!!
Her comment are selfish and sexist..

Calling an immature 19 year old girl a woman, defending her in such a manner that make the OP look bad.. That is just a way to encourage more abuse!!
She is defending abuse and think tolerating abuse measures Maturity. That is Rubbish!!

And the OP's brother is a Dunce for tolerating such loose behaviors from her wife and sister in laws!!

Th girl you quoted is biased, stop calling her 'wise'!

She simply defending abuse but add a passive aggressive advise tolerance just to cover her bias!!

Op should tread carefully among those witches.

Best thing is to leave in due time!!! His brother is not in charge of that House!!!

TheArchangel:
How old is your brother?
Oga, stand your ground in that house.
Force your brother to rent a house for you by raising serious hell and at the same time appearing meek. Sleep in that room when you come back and if the wife and her sisters talk trash, raise hell. Do not budge one beat. Keep your bags in the shop but sleep in that room to avoid them messing up your things. Take the food from that pot and raise hell while doing it. When your brother comes or is around, pretend like they are accusing you falsely.
Remember self defense, beat the sh!t out of any of the sisters that touch you first. You can plead self-defense later. Do not touch the wife but remember to use your mouth to finish her. .
Do not relent. If they can be there, you can be also. It's either your brother chase you all away or peace or resemblance of it will rain in that house.

This is evil advice! He was the first to hit her. Don't try and turn it the other way around

chii8:
Don't let the devil push you out of your settlement stage(celebration), endure a little more, ignore your sisters in law and keep on greeting your brother's wife.Infact in some occasion, buy the ladies little gifts or snacks and patiently wait for your final settlement day.(the more gifts you get them, the more you win your brother's heart).

Please do this. Buy her sister up and they will fight your fight for you. Thank the person that said this. They will fight their sister for you and before and behind you. Call them (her sisters), great them, joke with them, I swear, they will feel ashamed and make peace with you
In no time

O'boy, settle yourself from the shop fast fast.
Begin to de move money from the sales, in 6 months you will be fine.

Brightgem:
I mean just look at the number of people that liked and shared the comment. Abuse is Abuse! Not every time diplomacy and leave everything for God. God gave you thinking faculties, use it! A situation you don't like is a situation you should find how to get out of. The OPs brother is a foolish man that can't even maintain balance in his own home. Just sickening.

Exactly!!

chii8:
Don't let the devil push you out of your settlement stage(celebration), endure a little more, ignore your sisters in law and keep on greeting your brother's wife.Infact in some occasion, buy the ladies little gifts or snacks and patiently wait for your final settlement day.(the more gifts you get them, the more you win your brother's heart).

Please do as this person has said. I swear, both sisters will definitely fight for you

this your matter is very complicated
I don't see why your brother should bring in her wife's siblings and asked you to leave the room is very bad

First of all, I must commend you for giving that little brat that brain formatting slap and secondly on standing your grounds on not apologizing to her.

As for the food, that is a blessing in disguise, they can poison your food or put something that may not cause real harm but can cause you upset stomach.

I will advice you though, please don’t go back to the village, I know you must have said it out of anger and it also appear that your brother love you too, please don’t develop hatred for him...he is in a difficult place at the moment. This is the reason some people despise marriage, there are truly good girls out there, but it is difficult sometimes to land the good ones and for men out there who out of luck or some determination got the right ones kudos to you....but, there are some men who made the wrong choice and they are just managing the situation.

Tell your brother about the food situation and let him know that you are telling not that he resolve it, so they start giving you food, but that he should know what you are going through....and don’t hide it from him that you are afraid they may poison your food, keep pressure on him to get you a place.

If you greet him and he does not response; keep doing, but I will advice that you do it maybe for 3days and then stop for the next 2days before you resume again....you can vary it and repeat the iteration...this will let him know that, you are greeting him out of abundance of respect & love and that though you have the wherewithal to stop greeting him as you have demonstrated but you chose instead to do it, it will also communicate to him that, you are not happy with the situation of things.

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

Sorry to say this but your brother is not a man. It is clear that he is not man enough to take a stand in his own house about the comfort of a brother that has diligently served him for almost a decade.

My people say, wetin a man go do dey for him mind. This is the time to save up and move out on your own terms, before you do something that will make you brother throw you out empty handed.

Don't wait till that little girl accuses you of rape.

kingreign:
First, you are all shades of wrong by hitting your in-law no matter what she did.
Second, save up and move out of that house. You've overstayed your welcome.

I will accept to the fact that he ought not to have hit the girl but you see the second paragraph is rubbish. He has overstayed is welcome you say? In his brothers house? I am sure you are weak man too.



No matter how much a man loves his wife, you should never take crap from her and you should never take crap from your own siblings either. Being just is necessary, but most people lack that. Putting stupid sentiment and giving preferential treatment all in the name of love.

I am just unusually angry right now.

As for the lady who commented first, honestly she would act the same way the OP's wife brother acts if she were in her shoes from everything she typed up there.
Just imagine the bullcrap she typed up there.
Everything she wrote right @ the front page is total nonsense. Very bad and wrong advice,except for just 2 paragraphs that makes sense.
I don't know why the brother can not talk to his wife. Is he scared or what exactly? Letting your brother suffer,while you watch without being able to do a single thing is wicked also.
He does not even have a say over the siblings, I mean in his house what the hell is happening there?
And as for most women, I HOPE and PRAY GOD delivers them. They do very wrong and silly things causing issues up and down, yet they say it's their nature. What kind of nature is that? You know what you doing is wrong, yet you still continue with it. Some of them claim to be spiritual yet very wicked in heart, and the remaining half just do not care.

Honestly may God deliver us.

OP my advice for you is to ignore them, try to control your anger and pray for God's intervention because to me it's like they all have hidden agenda and as such I will not advice you to leave that house yet. Don't let them frustrate you, there's a reason why you are in that house. Turn onto God to help and make your brother sane and shed light into everything that's dark. I am sure in time all will be revealed if you do this. Just try to be good and maintain your sanity please...Ciao

I'd appreciate it if this can be moved to the front page MOD

TheArchangel:
What do you suggest sir?
He should maintain the status quo, huh? No, I think not!! Let him feel free in his brothers house too, same as the inlaws.
If they come to the parlour to disturb, go to the bedroom and do likewise. Nobody has monopoly of bullsh!ts. Do not entertain such or you will never rest. You are an adult, with your brother and without him, you can still survive.

I agree with you oh. Which kind nonsense be that sef. Give them fire for fire silently without raising your hand to beat anyone first until one does, then beat sense in that one out of self defense.

I was like u when same thing happen to me, I had no were to go, but I went out, and I suffered, but now am happily marriage, if I were u, look for a woman or your gf to confide in, that can be with u like mine back then on the street of Lagos. Now am a boss.

Listen to your higher self you will know what to do next

Beey:
First things first. Why are you living with your brother if he doesn’t pay you or has no goal like getting you a job or taking you to school? Are your parents living? Are they financially capable of supporting you?

That's part of many problems we have in Nigeria family system, this guy is the last born and the responsibility to raise him up and help set up his future has been shifted to his elder brother... Why bring many children into the world if you are not ready to take care of all of them, what if the elder brother was not financially stable, now I'm not saying it's bad to assist the junior ones but parents should not give birth to plenty children and leave the last born to the mercy of the elder ones

That is smart.

And i will advise you to go on this path, this is the path of not caring about their nuisances Or ignoring their drama

1) Try to talk only as little as possible, let them do the talking and return to your business.
2) If you have a place you can go to, where you can learn something or build your skills, do so.
3) If you have good friends, who are not shady, and who have good skills, you can spend time improving on some skills
4) Find something that relaxes you, for me it was music, i just put ear piece in my ear and my mind goes to the music.


I had some girls in the house, and i noticed they acted like they have all the time in the world for drama, so i distanced myself, from their web of drama, but i was also friendly, so they thought i was quiet, but i did not have time for their pettiness.
It always like that with immature girls in the house, but they will grow slowly.

SailorUgo:
Dearest OP,

I can totally relate to everything you are going through. I wish you'll take my advice because I'm an Igbo boy and I went through exactly what you are facing and even worse.
I used to stay with my very rich Uncle in Lagos and I can tell you that it was mini hell.
The wife gave me hell. The female daughters( especially the youngest one) added brim stone to my hell.
The youngest daughter made me cry for the first time in almost 10 years of my life. She didn't beat me, I was a year older than her. She simply served me food in a plate used to give dogs food... And I went into the bathroom and cried like a man.


But today, nah dem dey find my attention...
I still love them because they are my family and I think they were my stepping stone to whatever life I have created for myself today.


This is the solution;
1. Go home today and act like you can't even remember what has happened in the past. Learn to never complain. My uncles wife once asked me if I have ever tasted chicken. lol... Me wey be say I go the best private sec. school in my home town. I said NO. It helped to massage her ego very well and she felt ontop of the world. Wicked women enjoy feeling superior.

2. If they wet your mattress, jejely sleep on a wrapper. Don't complain. Trust me after two weeks, you'll become boring to them and they will turn against each other.

3. Put all your energy and passion into your brothers shop. Work like it's your own. Put your energy into impressing your brother.

4. Give them GHOST mode. Make new friends who you can easily go visit, so they'll barely see you around. If you have chores you do at home, do them without being reminded.

5. Never complain to anybody. NEVER COMPLAIN. they derive joy from seeing you complain trust me.

6. If and when they try to engage you in a conversation, Let them do the talking while you do the smiling and laughing.. in fact upgrade your laughter. Only give them the Boyfriend and girlfriend gist. Sometimes be genuinely happy for them. Treat them like they are kids who need pampering.

After two weeks of doing this. You'll realize that;
1. U no dey even see them.
2. u no dey even reason dem
3. ur broda go dey happier with u and the bond between una go dey stronger. It will be u and ur broda against them.
4. dem go begin fight demselfs.


Ochicha gwara umu ya si, Ofe d'oku ga ajuriri oyi.

NB: if you leave your brothers house now, they will kill your brother spiritually and emotionally. He will become a vegetable and may live all his life, full of regrets. Obulu ozu na aga ije. He needs you and u need him. Even if he turns against u oo.



GOODLUCK.

The best way to handle troublesome women is to ignore them. Believe me women hate being ignored. If you quarrel argue get angry, believe me you are giving them more energy.

From the first day they don't want you around but by ignoring them you may have won more of them to your side which may not be possible. Ignoring them is still the best option.

Women that are trouble makers are really good at manipulating people they will fabricate all sorts of stories. Even their dreams about you is like a fact to them. Any day they dream a bad dream and you were in that dream they will say that it is a revelation. Troublesome women are also frequent in spiritual houses and before you know they will manipulate their husband to join them. These people always come up with new things everyday.

The question is how do you deal with them. To be effective with them you need an unusual amount of patience and endurance. Don't engage them in any argument, Don't engage them in any fight. Like I said before they are good at manipulating people, so every word you say will be twisted and used out of context. The next thing your brother will hear that you were insulting him and he will call you and start asking you silly questions, now this is where things get worse and because of the silliness of your brother you would be so angry that you would insult him. Then it would be as if everything they told him was true.

Like I said before manipulative women are dangerous the best way to deal with them is to ignore them completely. If you ignore them completely, they will start fabricating lies, your brother will call you to confirm and you will politely tell him that you have no knowledge of all the allegation. Your brother will be surprised at your politeness and he will start watching them closely.

Note that your brother loves you very much that is why he has not thrown you out of his house. Manipulative women are very powerful.

Don't move out.

edunaragold:
I was like u when same thing happen to me, I had no were to go, but I went out, and I suffered, but now am happily marriage, if I were u, look for a woman or your gf to confide in, that can be with u like mine back then on the street of Lagos. Now am a boss.

Correct!!!

eni4real:
She is saying things that you'll like to hear!!
Her comment are selfish and sexist..

Calling an immature 19 year old girl a woman, defending her in such a manner that make the OP look bad.. That is just a way to encourage more abuse!!
She is defending abuse and think tolerating abuse measures Maturity. That is Rubbish!!

And the OP's brother is a Dunce for tolerating such loose behaviors from her wife and sister in laws!!

Th girl you quoted is biased, stop calling her 'wise'!

She simply defending abuse but add a passive aggressive advise tolerance just to cover her bias!!

Op should tread carefully among those witches.

Best thing is to leave in due time!!! His brother is not in charge of that House!!!

Aye aye Sir. Don't worry, time changes yesterday.

This is a very serious situation but you ought to listen to your brother. You can leave later when they least expect you to instead of leaving like they chased you out.

Championxxx:
They were doing all this to frustrate me I think she brought them to the house with a mission to frustrate me so I can leave , the funny part is they don’t come to clean only to watch tv and making all kind of noises to disturb my sleep and if I am awake they will go back to their room to sleep till noon. These girls has never help around the house when I am around , I do everything mopping , sweeping , washing dishes when they around pressing phone my brother doesn’t say anything to them. I asked him if he is right for me to do all these chores when we have his wife sisters at home , he said before he married I was the one doing it and why am now I complaining , I told because it doesn’t sound right for me to be doing chores when the girls are busy pressing phone, anyway there is more but not everything is good to say on social media. If he refuse renting a place for me I think I will go back to the village because I am short tempered I don’t want to stay in the same house with that mannerless small girl because I don’t want to do something stupid that will land me to prison for life . I prefer to be in the village than staying somewhere where I am not comfortable

Excellent. You know what you want to do, now go do it.

Your brother will discover your worth in your absence, and be forced to deal with the useless sisters, himself, when you are not there to make things easy for him. Maybe the marriage will end, maybe not, but your brother will be forced to man up at last, and face his household. Not painting you as an angel, but it was not you who brought home the wife and sisters, so don't feel guilty while he deals with the results of his decision-by-default.

Some people have wisely said that peace of mind, even in modest circumstances, is something to be treasured. Someone else said that you don't know your potential until you step out of your comfort zone. I know from experience that these statements are true. You are 23. Time comes to leave father and mother...and brother...and set out to be your own man.

If to say na me, everybody for run comot from that house, even my bro go dey beg me. What nonsense! If he's not ready to rent a self con for you, get ready for them. That ur bro sef get issues with time that kind woman go deal with am.

It seems you're an angry.....Type of person

Bro just cool, laugh over any serious case from them ''I'm here before them, my brother and I strive before she and her sisters came in'' this should be ur quote.

as for your brother, ask him to forgive you of going too deep.

Let me stop here

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

The way you sound, you might me an Igbo man. a 23 years Igboman is no longer a boy. you should understand that you have over stay your apprenticeship, 8 years is not 8 days or 8 months, or 80 days, neither 800 days. you should have been on your own if your brother truly love you the way you love him. i hate seeing people that are been used as toilet tissue yet they can't understand. your brother has already tell her wife that your are a fool by serving him 8 years without talking of establishing you. they are all looking for fault to disgrace you. one of my advise is for you to look for one of your bachelor friend and live with him. secondly is that; you can't live with your brother forever so start living on your own no matter how hard it is you will succeed. don't mind your brother talk that he have big house why should you go and live at another place, that's childish talk, if he die are you going to inherit that house? capital no. so what stop you from seeking for black goat before night fall.

If you are wise go and live with your friend without telling your brother but make sure that others of your family members know where and whom you live with to avoid if anything happen the person that assist you to live with him can be free, i don't pray for bad but a living person can't be 100% free from having one problem once in a while.

also let some people in your business area knew what your passing through so that the day your brother will accuse you of stealing his money they will know where the allegation is coming from and also will not see you as bad boy when you return to the same area to start your own.

You don't have any case with your sisters in-law, if not that your not a sharp guy you will have impregnate the two and be in peace in that house, but the ladies see that your holy holy boy. Do you think you think your brother wife will be against you dating her sisters never, she will even be happy that her sister will be getting good caring from you.

when you pack out your brother will know your value, a time come he will look for you because he can't use her in-laws as blood brother and if he does that will lead to his end which is what he does for him self not you. my brother pack out and start your own. this your brother wife will also look for you and call you my oga, but then you need to be careful because she can call you my oga when your doing well and her mind is reflecting back.

then if you know that your not that sharp to live with a friend if your brother no rent house for you, try date that your sister wife, the one of 24 years that trying to be kind to you, if possible bleep her without chance, make sure she conceive. I bet you will just relax and see how she fight for you, she can even get money from your sister and rent house for you. Infarct you can be able to count freedom and mini favor that will be coming from her as soon you start the bleeping. Don't be afraid that she senior you just start telling her how beauty she is and how good she look on any cloth she wear even if is rag.

tell her how you wish to make her your wife but the situation of still living under your brother blocks you. tell her that you wish your on your own to show her how madly you fall for her. use the fight between her sister and you as touching story. that you slap her sister because you love her, that you hate seeing her younger sister around, that she is only one you wish to see every second. by the time she can't control her self anymore rush her in every given chance. even if someone is coming withdraw and continue until she's pregnant then be a man and possess your settlement live a lone and tell her to wait that you want to build your self first before marriage. if her sister get sense she will see that you bleep the family up and there's nothing she can do cause your family can't allow her to harm you. i wish i can come to that house to help you bleep the junior one. am at wuse 2, incase you need my bleeping help

Your brother married look not love, the wife married money not out of love
Because if she loves you brother she'll know you're vital to the growth of his business that brings the money they spend at home. What me I'll tell is that your brother will not do pim for that girl disturbing you because he doesn't want to spite his wife. And the earlier the wife knows your worth in the house the better because no one knows the business like you do except if your brother has started showing her how the business is run. And for that that girl that doesn't know that her mates are taking care of themselves in the real world just tell your brother to inform her to stay in her own lane and don't beat her again if she misbehave, her mother in law and sister in law will teach her the lesson she wasn't thought in their house

Championxxx:
They were doing all this to frustrate me I think she brought them to the house with a mission to frustrate me so I can leave , the funny part is they don’t come to clean only to watch tv and making all kind of noises to disturb my sleep and if I am awake they will go back to their room to sleep till noon. These girls has never help around the house when I am around , I do everything mopping , sweeping , washing dishes when they around pressing phone my brother doesn’t say anything to them. I asked him if he is right for me to do all these chores when we have his wife sisters at home , he said before he married I was the one doing it and why am now I complaining , I told because it doesn’t sound right for me to be doing chores when the girls are busy pressing phone, anyway there is more but not everything is good to say on social media. If he refuse renting a place for me I think I will go back to the village because I am short tempered I don’t want to stay in the same house with that mannerless small girl because I don’t want to do something stupid that will land me to prison for life . I prefer to be in the village than staying somewhere where I am not comfortable

Blood of Zachariah

Op listen carefully do not do the dishes in that house again since there are 3 grown women in that house,infact do not mop or sweep in that house, the only way your brother will come to his senses is if he talks to those 2 daughters of Jezebel in that house, he has to talk sense into them because from ur right up I don't think he has ever addressed them,thats the only way peace will be in that house, cause I don't see any reason why ur brother hasn't done anything about this.

In case ur brother does not restore peace into that house
Please op no matter what you do, don't lay ur hands on those girls ,I know it's not easy but pls try ur best.
Always shower them with kindness,las Las na them go tire.
Op no matter what ur brothers wife does to you, do not insult her, cause your brother will always support his wife.

Get a nice earpiece,plug it in and listen to ur favorite songs,while at home.

Lastly don't tolerate rubbish from those girls, it's your brothers house and I don't expect you to live like a guest that has no say in that house.

Just endure a bit longer,its not easy to be a man.

"If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day
Everything will be alright if ya hold on
It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on"2 pac

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

Firstlt, I want to apologise on their behalf.


Secondly, there is no one that doesn't have ugly beginning

Another thing is, most of us have passed through this ugly experience before we became free.

I lived in my church compound for 8 years, all was rosy when my guys were there, and we jointly do things together and people respect us because we were important to the church (we were all instrumentalist)


But I later remain the only one cos of job hunt. I was disturbed when an elder say I must be in services, even in evening service too, that I must join in cleaning the church on Sunday morning.... I joined once in a while, but because I sleep late it was difficult, and I had many issues with them.



Each time there is large program that brings other friends to the church they respect them but me NOBODY.


I left the compound and moved to my friend's house (A Muslim, but very good friend). There, I can't cook, but his mom gives us food once in a while and my mom brings food for me at night sending my younger ones, I couldn't leave with mom cos it's a room apartment.

My friend left the house (the house is owned by his parents, but the room is normally for the man's children), so still free for me.

Got a time that they changed after my friend left, and I couldn't go back to church compound, though I still attend church.

After much plea, God pick my call and I got a job with state govt. Got a decent apartment and moved out.


So, my brother always show them that God is living in you. When they call for ur help answer them and render help. Then try to show help to less privileged if u have the power too. In no time all this would be story.


Your saving grace should be that your brother sees you as his backbone amidst those females.


God at work

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

From inception, I have always thought it's wrong to lay hands on a woman no matter the offence, but lately, my perception has been changing. One, because young females are capitalising on it and 2, there are some offence that you might have to go physical. Like a quick slap reset or something
I meant there are some situations that calls for such and for months, I have been pondering if it's right or wrong to slap a girl.

I thought it was equal right and everyone should be treated the same.
If it's not right for a guy to slap a girl, then it shouldn't be right for a girl to do likewise.

Whatever her motivation is for doing such, then the tempo should be maintained in receiving the consequence of her actions with equal grace.


This is not just on the matter being deliberated but generally. So lady, I think we have to enlarge our schema.

Ponders

From my chikini brain. At least you worked for your brother more than 8 years. Within this 8years i know you should have enough savings, get your own apartment and if you brother disown you for that, then go and start up your own bussiness with your savings. For someone to be successful somepeople have to be let go. But your success will bring them back. You are not going to be in your brother's house forever, soon you will have your own family