| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Pappyjulie196(m): 6:30pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
In my own point of view...Your brother was wrong totally and obviously he is being manipulated by his wife...How could he allowed his two sister - in law staying with them all in the name of marriage and made you go through hell to save his marriage? But all the same my brother...Just keep your cool...You are only staying there for now and not forever and don't go against your brother's will by leaving the house without his consent. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by HerMoney: 6:31pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Poster let me advice you from a mature standpoint.
Don't listen to all these immature boys telling you to go and fight, threaten your brother and filling your head with stories about your brother and his wife using your glory, this and that. Rubbish! Wrong advice will create more problems for you but wisdom is profitable to direct.
First, I will acknowledge that your in-laws have their own faults and have not handled this problem wisely. They ignored your complaints about your sleep disturbances then leaving your mattress out in the rain was completely heartless of them. Simple communication between all parties would have resolved things BUT it's unfortunate that your brother failed to use his authority as head of the home to instruct his young in-laws by decreeing 'No watching TV until about 9 or 10 in the morning.' At that time, you would have woken up and gone about your business for the day while they have the whole parlor to themselves.
That said, let's focus on you now, who is the ONLY PERSON you can change really. You and no one else!
Many of us fuel problems in our interpersonal relationships with our attitude and reactions because we are not equipped or mature enough to handle conflict and that's your problem here. You've let ANGER and PRIDE control you and in turn, it created more problems for you than you are equipped to handle. And you will never resolve it by running back to the village or getting your own place. You will only be at peace with yourself and your family AFTER you have learned the lessons and grown from this situation. Otherwise, you will meet a bigger test in future that you will likely fail because you didn't learn from this one. What are these lessons?
You were wrong to slap your in-law. You were provoked but that is no justification for assault.
You were wrong to refuse to apologize to her, whether she's your mate or junior, it doesn't matter. I apologize to my younger ones when I hurt them.
You are wrong to insist on going back to the village rather than seeking a resolution that will benefit all parties. I'm not saying you must stay back and serve your brother for life but leaving angrily and prematurely is not the way that you are supposed to part ways with him.
Seeking a resolution NOT running away is the wiser and more mature thing to do as it will benefit all parties and also allow you the peace of mind to make the right decisions for your future. Human beings can be troublesome but sometimes, when they see that you a peace loving person, they tend to calm down and relax around you. How do you exhibit this trait?
Go back and apologize to the girl in front of her sister and your brother and let them know you understand your actions were wrong and have decided to take responsibility for them.
Greet everyone when you wake up in the morning.
Do your chores and relate with everyone normally.
Go out of your way to be nice to them. Treat them like your younger sisters. Girls are emotional beings and usually respond well when they are treated with compassion.
Offer to help them with little chores etc.
Talk to them respectfully and not grudgingly.
Don't resent them in your heart.
It requires humility and grace to do these but with God's help you can do it. It won't feel easy on your flesh or ego but this is key to regaining your peace, freedom, power, dignity and respect that you've LOST in that house.
Do all these for the next two weeks to one month and see whether you won't see a change. Then go on your knees in prayer to God to help make a way for you, whether it's by getting another job, no matter how little or your brother settling you. Other solutions and opportunities may arise, which you never thought because you are now at peace mentally and psychologically and can think clearly. I promise you, you will see a miraculous change if you take my advice. The peace alone you will feel might even make you not want to leave again. BUT if you do all these and they don't change, don't let your heart be troubled for God will be watching and you will get the reward for your obedience.
Remember, God UPLIFTS THE HUMBLE and only humility will save you in this situation. Acting proud and insisting on your rights like so many have advised here will not. I can guarantee you that. I have so many testimonies of God's grace and upliftment when I humbled myself rather than choose to sulk in bitterness.
Going back to the village might turn out to be a huge setback for you as you don't know the temptations and problems that are waiting there for you.
This incident is an opportunity for you to step into the next phase of your destiny but the enemy is also waiting for you to take a wrong step and lose out or be destroyed completely. Open your eyes and be wise. You have more control than you realise.
I will leave you with this saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson - 'A great man is always willing to be little'.
So, stoop to conquer.
All the best. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Nobody: 6:31pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
All these master and servant people... mtcheeew  |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Goldencheese(m): 6:31pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
But why must you go back to the village? Don't you have dreams, I mean your own dreams? You can succeed much better than your brother. Look for connections in the market you are selling. Look for suppliers. Pay the price and start your own on a small scale. Don't ever go back to the village defeated. Championxxx:
They were doing all this to frustrate me I think she brought them to the house with a mission to frustrate me so I can leave , the funny part is they don’t come to clean only to watch tv and making all kind of noises to disturb my sleep and if I am awake they will go back to their room to sleep till noon. These girls has never help around the house when I am around , I do everything mopping , sweeping , washing dishes when they around pressing phone my brother doesn’t say anything to them. I asked him if he is right for me to do all these chores when we have his wife sisters at home , he said before he married I was the one doing it and why am now I complaining , I told because it doesn’t sound right for me to be doing chores when the girls are busy pressing phone, anyway there is more but not everything is good to say on social media. If he refuse renting a place for me I think I will go back to the village because I am short tempered I don’t want to stay in the same house with that mannerless small girl because I don’t want to do something stupid that will land me to prison for life . I prefer to be in the village than staying somewhere where I am not comfortable 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by SeriouslySense(m): 6:32pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
If you cannot stay as an observer, then minimize your contact time with them, and try to also reduce your energy on them, by not thinking about what they do and not talking about them or complaining, what you need is to divert your attention to more productive areas of life, which are your growth, your destiny and your future.
Always maintain your state of inner peace, by knowing how to increase your peace and focus, unnecessary distractions need to be ignored, promote good time with the girls, by only positive words, and actions, but spend 0.0001 percent with them, they need to act their drama for themselves, don't be involved in such. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Collins4u1(m): 6:37pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.
One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!
Hugs. You wrote well, But your number 3 isn't well explicit and I'll add thus. Op don't pity any gender when it comes to self defence.. Because if you die forming gentleman the same people will still say didn't he have hands when he was being beaten. Op. Your case is not a case of self defence, you were acting out of your emotion (anger).. Don't touch a woman if you're not under threat. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Beey(f): 6:38pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
WonderWoman5775:
That's part of many problems we have in Nigeria family system, this guy is the last born and the responsibility to raise him up and help set up his future has been shifted to his elder brother... Why bring many children into the world if you are not ready to take care of all of them, what if the elder brother was not financially stable, now I'm not saying it's bad to assist the junior ones but parents should not give birth to plenty children and leave the last born to the mercy of the elder ones I couldn’t even understand why the brother was threatening hail & brimstone should the guy choose to return to the village? Is it because he’s taking care of his shop without pay? You are right. That’s why people become slaves to their siblings because they are completely at their mercy. It’s a terrible situation. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by bummyla(m): 6:39pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
For how long do you want to serve your brother! Joseph brothers thought they were frustrating his dreams, while they were assisting him, in realization of his dreams. Maybe it is time for you to be your own man. Save and rent your own apartment! After some time, open and run your own businesses. But prayerfully do all these things! They will seek your face one day, when your successes are all over the place! Cheers up! There are brighter days ahead! https://www.God.bingoChampionxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Edandy(m): 6:39pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
LadySarah:
He is an apprentice. There no wrong living there. It's obviously settlement money that's still keeping him there. Theres a concord!
The wife should treat everybody well regardless of who is who. Nobody knows 2moro. [color=#990000][/color] Stop arguing with them . Some people do not understand the context of a story. They just want to comment. This man here is serving, meaning after learning, he will be settled. This is how the Eastern brothers in Nigeria help one another. His settlement might come in form of huge money for shop rent, capital to run the shop etc after service. Advising the young man to quit will mean for him to forfeit all his hard work for 8 years. My brother chapionxx. Try as much as possible to endure and plan your exit as someone as stipulated above. May be YOUR VILLAGE PEOPLE ARE THE USING YOUR IN-LAWS TO CONFUSE YOU TO MAKE MISTAKE. God may also want to use this to help u to settle down on time. In other words, pray and be patient. Do not leave that house because you can no longer endure their rubbish. God bless! |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
HerMoney:
Poster let me advice you from a mature standpoint.
Don't listen to all these immature silly boys telling you to go and fight, threaten your brother and filling your head with stories about your brother and his wife using your glory, this and that. Rubbish! Wrong advice will create more problems for you but wisdom is profitable to direct.
First, I will acknowledge that your in-laws have their own faults and have not handled this problem wisely. They ignored your complaints about your sleep disturbances then leaving your mattress out in the rain was completely heartless of them. Simple communication between all parties would have resolved things BUT it's unfortunate that your brother failed to use his authority as head of the home to instruct his young in-laws by saying 'Please no watching TV until about 9 or 10 in the morning. At that time, you would have woken up and gone about your business for the day while they have the whole parlor to themselves.
That said, let's focus on you now, which is the only person you can change really. You and no one else!
Many of us fuel problems in our interpersonal relationships with our attitude and reactions because we are not equipped or mature enough to handle conflict and that's your problem here. You've let ANGER and PRIDE control you and in turn, it created more problems for you than you are equipped to handle. And you will never resolve it by running back to the village or getting your own place. You will only be at peace with yourself and your family AFTER you have learned the lessons and grown from this situation. Otherwise, you will meet a bigger test in future that you will likely fail because you didn't learn from this one. What are these lessons?
You were wrong to slap your in-law. You were provoked but that is no justification for assault.
You were wrong to refuse to apologize to her, whether she's your mate or junior, it doesn't matter. I apologize to my younger ones when I hurt them.
You are wrong to insist on going back to the village rather than seeking a resolution that will benefit all parties. I'm not saying you must stay back and serve your brother for life but leaving angrily and prematurely is not the way that you are supposed to part ways with him.
Seeking a resolution NOT running away is the wiser and more mature thing to do as it will benefit all parties and also allow you the peace of mind to make the right decisions for your future. Human beings can be troublesome but sometimes, when they see that you a peace loving person, they tend to calm down and relax around you. How do you exhibit this trait?
Go back and apologize to the girl in front of her sister and your brother and let them know you understand your actions were wrong and have decided to take responsibility for them.
Greet everyone when you wake up in the morning.
Do your chores and relate with everyone normally.
Go out of your way to be nice to them. Treat them like your younger sisters. Girls are emotional beings and usually respond well when they are treated with compassion.
Offer to help them with little chores etc.
Talk to them respectfully and not grudgingly.
Don't resent them in your heart.
It requires humility and grace, but with God's help you can do it. It won't feel easy on your flesh or ego but this is key to regaining your peace, freedom, power, dignity and respect in that house. All the things you lost.
Do all these for the next 2 weeks - 1 month and then go on your knees in prayer to God to help make a way for you, whether it's by getting another job, or your brother settling you. Other solution and opportunities may arise, which you never thought because you are now at peace mentally and psychologically. I promise you, you will see a miraculous change. The peace alone you will feel might even make you not want to leave again. BUT if you do all these and they don't change, don't let your heart be troubled for God was watching and you will get the reward for your obedience.
Remember, God uplifts the humble and only humility will save you in this situation. Acting proud and insisting on your rights like so many have advised here will not.
Going back to the village might turn out to be a huge setback for you as you don't know the temptations and problems that are waiting there for you.
This incident is an opportunity for you to step into the next phase of your destiny but the enemy is also waiting for you to take a wrong step and lose out or be destroyed completely. Open your eyes and be wise.
I will leave you with this saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson - 'A great man is always willing to be little'.
So, stoop to conquer.
All the best.
Rubbish, lengthy post. It's very easy to tell people to be patient,but we often times don't show patience when we are disrespected. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Coolcalmcollect(m): 6:41pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Ejenavi18:
Why are your sister in-laws living with you guys?
Don't they have parents? na so igbo wives dey do, when they marry they pack all their problem ontop the man....well they only try such with igbo men Sha, after yoruba man don fork your sisters na you by yourself go tell Dem to leave. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by TEAMvido(m): 6:41pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me my brothers wife knows the kind of nigga i am before marrying my bro,lemme not go into details... no leave face for any woman o ... stand your ground on leaving the house house for them.. cuz that woman plans involves no piece of mind for you as long as you are in that house,even if The two sisters leave. talk to your bro and make him see this . . .. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by SeriouslySense(m): 6:43pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
There is nothing like Village people, it is due to low intelligence and abundance of stupidity, lack of respect and greed.
Just try to spend less time, with them. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Galaticos444: 6:45pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
jasent:
She is wrong.But I don't know the idiot that liked that nonsense comment. obviously her fellow feminist 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Nobody: 6:45pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me ....my guy exercise small patience till you finish serving your brother...your brother can easily get someone else to serve him, but rather he chooses you so do not let him down as for your troubles, I know it won't be easy.... but you need ultimate patience... I saw worst things during my undergraduate days... my case was worst in many ways... it wasn't even someone related to the wife, rather the wife used her house girls to torment my life... to the extent that when I was going to keep cup in the kitchen, one of the house girls must follow me to see what I was actually going to do in the kitchen.... guy I was humiliated for 4 years... I buy food outside close to the house... I also eat in the house of my fellow students... my father is late... I told my uncle to rent an apartment for me off camp but he refused in my case I actually suffered... I mop the floor everyday... wash the toilet and bathroom every weekend and also disposed the waste bin... and also washed my brothers clothes all in the presence of those house girls that were about 6 years younger...the wife said they were there to serve her and her children only... to make matter worst, I don't understand their language.. God was really there for me to the extent that if any of my guys in school wanted to eat, he will call me to ask if I had eaten.... but 5 years after, the story is different... my brother is still working in the same company but his salary is about 30% of what I earn today ... 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by spiralwedge(m): 6:48pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me Find money go and rent a single room in a face to face. 3k-5k per month. OR Sleep in the shop OR Find a friend's place to sleep before you get your own. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by psalmylee(m): 6:50pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.
One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!
Hugs. Sony mean all this nonsense u type are all u could think of in that your big head..u no just get brain |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by easyzworld: 6:50pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Your brother should buy tv for the girl so you can sleep after all the stress during the day. Your brother is weak before his wife and maybe it’s due to love or he doesn’t understand how to handle women.
You must learn to be calm and be wise for all of these will surely pass away. Your brother's wife want you out of that house and she’s just using her younger sister to get to you. There’s eyes are in his shop and this is just the phase one of their plan and you need to find a way to scatter their plans without fight or quarrell. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by HerMoney: 6:52pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
f |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by MztrChukwu(m): 6:54pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Who else noticed those babes probably wants to knack the dude? Can't be only me 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by onoja12: 6:56pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
This is why marrages fail,the man is to know that he is firstly responsible to his wife and kids and the woman can convinently forget.this are the facts that man would go poor, his wife would engineer his distruction.you see that brother you want to chase away,he contributes to the sucess of his business which in turn feeds her and those children,while her two sisters are liabilities contributing nothing but sucking her husband.the brother would leave ,a demon would come and clean that man out.then that same wife would turn on the husband and make his life hell that is till either he dies or runs away.
quote author=veave post=91804898]Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.
One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!
Hugs. [/quote] |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by ihec(m): 6:57pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
If you are near completing your Service to your brother then make up your mind and endure everything till the last day. As pretend they don't exist in that house and trust me they will realise they are wasting their time most especially your brothers wife. But bro if you get dat kin tolerance alert your other family members and let them know that you will leave if the nonsense no stop. I know of a family friend whose wife was always not comfortable having her hausbands people around and glory be to God no bodi day beg 4 food imo all man lock up oooo we no day even call her den unfortunately the hausband died and dat was just the beginning of her sorrow. Uptill today non of her hausbands pple care abt her and the man's major source of income was a family bizz and by right his younger bro took over leaving her with just little. So ur brothers wife should be careful abt her attitude. Make e no come be say tomorrow now dem go run to u for help you decline she go begin run her mouth.
And bro you slapping her sis is wrong u dont react violently towards women. Person like me go just sub dem and trust me ignoring a woman it's one tin women cant cope with especially when she is looking for ur attention or reaction. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by bummyla(m): 6:58pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Hmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!! HerMoney:
Poster let me advice you from a mature standpoint.
Don't listen to all these immature boys telling you to go and fight, threaten your brother and filling your head with stories about your brother and his wife using your glory, this and that. Rubbish! Wrong advice will create more problems for you but wisdom is profitable to direct.
First, I will acknowledge that your in-laws have their own faults and have not handled this problem wisely. They ignored your complaints about your sleep disturbances then leaving your mattress out in the rain was completely heartless of them. Simple communication between all parties would have resolved things BUT it's unfortunate that your brother failed to use his authority as head of the home to instruct his young in-laws by decreeing 'No watching TV until about 9 or 10 in the morning.' At that time, you would have woken up and gone about your business for the day while they have the whole parlor to themselves.
That said, let's focus on you now, who is the ONLY PERSON you can change really. You and no one else!
Many of us fuel problems in our interpersonal relationships with our attitude and reactions because we are not equipped or mature enough to handle conflict and that's your problem here. You've let ANGER and PRIDE control you and in turn, it created more problems for you than you are equipped to handle. And you will never resolve it by running back to the village or getting your own place. You will only be at peace with yourself and your family AFTER you have learned the lessons and grown from this situation. Otherwise, you will meet a bigger test in future that you will likely fail because you didn't learn from this one. What are these lessons?
You were wrong to slap your in-law. You were provoked but that is no justification for assault.
You were wrong to refuse to apologize to her, whether she's your mate or junior, it doesn't matter. I apologize to my younger ones when I hurt them.
You are wrong to insist on going back to the village rather than seeking a resolution that will benefit all parties. I'm not saying you must stay back and serve your brother for life but leaving angrily and prematurely is not the way that you are supposed to part ways with him.
Seeking a resolution NOT running away is the wiser and more mature thing to do as it will benefit all parties and also allow you the peace of mind to make the right decisions for your future. Human beings can be troublesome but sometimes, when they see that you a peace loving person, they tend to calm down and relax around you. How do you exhibit this trait?
Go back and apologize to the girl in front of her sister and your brother and let them know you understand your actions were wrong and have decided to take responsibility for them.
Greet everyone when you wake up in the morning.
Do your chores and relate with everyone normally.
Go out of your way to be nice to them. Treat them like your younger sisters. Girls are emotional beings and usually respond well when they are treated with compassion.
Offer to help them with little chores etc.
Talk to them respectfully and not grudgingly.
Don't resent them in your heart.
It requires humility and grace to do these but with God's help you can do it. It won't feel easy on your flesh or ego but this is key to regaining your peace, freedom, power, dignity and respect that you've LOST in that house.
Do all these for the next two weeks to one month and see whether you won't see a change. Then go on your knees in prayer to God to help make a way for you, whether it's by getting another job, no matter how little or your brother settling you. Other solutions and opportunities may arise, which you never thought because you are now at peace mentally and psychologically and can think clearly. I promise you, you will see a miraculous change if you take my advice. The peace alone you will feel might even make you not want to leave again. BUT if you do all these and they don't change, don't let your heart be troubled for God will be watching and you will get the reward for your obedience.
Remember, God UPLIFTS THE HUMBLE and only humility will save you in this situation. Acting proud and insisting on your rights like so many have advised here will not. I can guarantee you that. I have so many testimonies of God's grace and upliftment when I humbled myself rather than choose to sulk in bitterness.
Going back to the village might turn out to be a huge setback for you as you don't know the temptations and problems that are waiting there for you.
This incident is an opportunity for you to step into the next phase of your destiny but the enemy is also waiting for you to take a wrong step and lose out or be destroyed completely. Open your eyes and be wise. You have more control than you realise.
I will leave you with this saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson - 'A great man is always willing to be little'.
So, stoop to conquer.
All the best.
|
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by HerMoney: 6:59pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
dario078:
Rubbish, lengthy post. It's very easy to tell people to be patient,but we often times don't show patience when we are disrespected. I would like to know what better advice you offered him in your 'sensible brief post'. What results have his impatience yielded for him? If I don't show patience when I'm disrespected, I am the one who will lose my peace and my grace. And I'll live to learn that lesson another day. We can't run away from it. The universe makes sure of it. We are in this world to learn, grow and evolve and I'm more interested in this young man's growth and future success than in his momentary pleasure. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Worksunlimited: 7:01pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.
One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!
Hugs. You see it is that no. 3 that spoils you women.. You people too, no matter what don't challenge a man, don't raise your voice at him and no do pass yourself.. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Charleys: 7:01pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
moralistic:
....my guy exercise small patience till you finish serving your brother...your brother can easily get someone else to serve him, but rather he chooses you so do not let him down
as for your troubles, I know it won't be easy.... but you need ultimate patience... I saw worst things during my undergraduate days... my case was worst in many ways... it wasn't even someone related to the wife, rather the wife used her house girls to torment my life... to the extent that when I was going to keep cup in the kitchen, one of the house girls must follow me to see what I was actually going to do in the kitchen.... guy I was humiliated for 4 years... I buy food outside close to the house... I also eat in the house of my fellow students... my father is late... I told my uncle to rent an apartment for me off camp but he refused
in my case I actually suffered... I mop the floor everyday... wash the toilet and bathroom every weekend and also disposed the waste bin... and also washed my brothers clothes all in the presence of those house girls that were about 6 years younger...the wife said they were there to serve her and her children only... to make matter worst, I don't understand their language..
God was really there for me to the extent that if any of my guys in school wanted to eat, he will call me to ask if I had eaten.... but 5 years after, the story is different...
my brother is still working in the same company but his salary is about 30% of what I earn today ...
What language were they speaking? |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by erjo: 7:02pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me Your problem is easy to solve....Bleep the two sisters and they will turn ur best friend... Thank me later... |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Vince77(m): 7:04pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
veave:
[s]Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.
One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman. [/s]
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!
Hugs. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by SILVERLINES: 7:05pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me bro everyone has his or her own destiny and urs isn't tied to your bro. If all you said here is the truth then you have every reason to go back to your parents, I don't see any reason you should be treated like a slave in Ur blood brother's house and he did nothing about it. According to what you said here you have served your brother for eight years in his business means you contributed to what he is today and he should appreciate you for that and always pray for your brother perhaps he is charmed by the woman he got married to else you should be his priority not his inlaws who just came in. Lastly my advice is you go home for now and let him disown you perhaps that is the only way he has to appreciate you for growing his businesses for eight years. I once served someone though we were related with hope that someday he will assist me in school which was my priority, after seven years when the admission came he displayed some attitude and I left empty handed and faint for myself and in few months away I looking forward to my MBBS aside that was I left him I had massive breakthrough in life doors were open immediately and now running my multi establishment. |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Charleys: 7:05pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Beey:
I couldn’t even understand why the brother was threatening hail & brimstone should the guy choose to return to the village? Is it because he’s taking care of his shop without pay? You are right. That’s why people become slaves to their siblings because they are completely at their mercy. It’s a terrible situation. Because he's going to turn the family members against the wife when he returns. And the family will know that he (the man) has failed in not taking care of his brother. And they will never forget... 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Beey(f): 7:08pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
Charleys:
Because he's going to turn the family members against the wife when he returns.
And the family will know that he (the man) has failed in not taking care of his brother.
And they will never forget... You are wise.Get a cold soda on my bill. Chaaai family drama. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters by Clinghton: 7:10pm On Jul 18, 2020 |
I detest men who lost good sense of judgement when women are involved, strive for independence.
At least you can feed yourself, avoid contact with them but if the insist on having clashes with you prove your superiority without physically harming anyone.
Goodluck. |
