₦airaland Forum

eni4real:
Young girls are more energetic and will be good friendd to the kids, you know!!

Old women at 50& 60 are too old for such stress.. They are someone's else mum!!

I love my wife.. How can inchest on my wife with a maid? Is not an option

Calm down

Expecially the melanin popping round young adult maids

Carry your problem and clear out.

humilitypays:
giving birth is not easy. And taking care of newborn baby is not easy at all. Imagine caring for someone who doesn't talk, doesn't laugh, only eat, play small, sleep and cry. Honestly I respect newborn mothers a lot, they are champions.


They deserve so much accolade for that job.


But you see cooking, washing, cleaning house, they are nothing. Guys of today are no longer foodies like Nigerian men of the 50s, 60s,70s.....most guys can go without their wife's food, so if she want make she no cook.

Any man can wash his clothes, pack them inside the washing machine, turn on the tap and turn on the switch and set the time and go to bed, so what's the big deal that ladies are screaming

They are confused. If you like, take up their responsibilities, they must still nag. What do they really want?

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

You're blessed already. Wisdom will never depart from you.

benji93:
Why i dey go find trouble look for modern woman? Who modern help? . To each his own. Good luck, modern woman.

Modern women are good, in case hubby suddenly loses all his financial avenues

I believe everybody have their roles in the home .when the couple's are still young and the kids are young ,they should help themselves.if you love your wife and you see her burdened with house cores ,common sense is to check areas you can help.so also a woman who sees her hubby struggling financial responsibilities,should also help.it is not a right for men to expect their wife to help them and also it's not a right for women to expect their husband to help,but I believ both can request humbly for help.my problem with the present generation women is that they even tell the man that they will share the cores ,like it a right .imagine a woman telling the husband that he has to be washing all the plates after they finish cooking since she is not a slave .I don't see anything wrong if she politely make a request for help but when she makes it a responsibility and and a must ,it's bad to me .just as it is bad for a man to tell the wife that she has to be paying a particular bill ,it's not the wife's duty to pay bill ,but it's not bad if he politely ask if she can help .this is negotiation between both party .imagine a condition in which a man goes out all day ,tired and the
woman does a less laborious work .and the woman wants the man to come and be doing house cores .it's not bad for men to help their wife ,I call it help .
Anyway as the marriage grows ,the children can also help in the house chores.some women don't even want to do any thing and we ask the man for a house help ,it's not bad,so let no woman attack me ,I day help my wife for house but not my duty.

Rilwayne001 apost=92336915:
Marriage, in the true sense of union, should never be a slavery business whereby one works his/her ass for the benefit of the other partner. However in a marriage setting, I do believe both parties in the union must bring something tangible to the table to make things balance. Also it's important that in a situation whereby things are not generally as balance as we'd want them to be, that love fills such void for it to be absolutely balance subjectively.

In my opinion, I believe, the man, aside being a natural provider of the family is also a natural protector of it. There are situation whereby the woman can take the former position, but can never take the latter position. The more reason why the man is very important leading wherever the boat of the marriage is going.

I believe a marriage whereby the man provides over 80% needs of the family, it is only logical that the woman provides something else in proper amount to complement the man's effort. For example, if the man pays the normal bills, house rent, foods, children fees etc, then it is pertinent on the woman to do something in proportion of what the man is doing. Of course you don't expect me to be carrying all these financial burdens and when the time to rest comes, I should start going about with kitchen duties or other house chores. Objectively it's not balance. And if the wife takes the position of doing all these house chores and taking care of the kids, that's not slavery but rather helping the husband.

But then a situation whereby the wife pays bills as much as the man, maybe splitting it or something, then of course, the whole burden of house duties cannot be rested on the woman, but an important point to note is that, she still has to do more of home duties than the husband, because already the husband is taking care of the family's protection, something the woman can never do.

Meanwhile, we don't expect all these to be balance, one way or the other it'll always be lopsided. What makes marriage fruitful and lasting is LOVE and RESPECT. If the love and respect are there, nothing will look like a burden on either part of the parties. However if one of these two things is missing, forget it, even if the wife turns a slave to the husband or the husband turns to satisfy his wife, the marriage would, Sooner rather than later, crash or be painful for both parties.

DexterousOne:
I'll tell you this

Millions of women across the length and breadth of this country are either CO BREADWINNERS or SOLE BREADWINNER
It's what I see out there everyday

From the market women, to the bankers, doctors; food sellers and restaurants owners, etc.

Maybe in your small world, all you see are dependent housewives, just maybe.

But in the broad society
The women are really filling in on a lot of financial responsibility

N.B.
Slay mamas are not included
And not every woman is a slay mama

Shut up which kind millions, its one in a hundred in africa

eni4real:
Young girls are more energetic and will be good friendd to the kids, you know!!

Old women at 50& 60 are too old for such stress.. They are someone's else mum!!

I love my wife.. How can inchest on my wife with a maid? Is not an option

Calm down

Calm down wetin? If she's older than both our mother's, even better. She can help and sense when hubby begins jumping around outside

ademijuwonlo:
Most women that provide for the family won't come and tell you cos they don't want the world to think less of their husbands.

If it was common it would be known, nothing stays hidden, that means it rarely happens

Palema007:
How come you guys don't read to understand, dude if you find anything wrong in that comment, you have issues and guess what? I'm not interested in solving them for you.

I do not have issues with them...l am just saying be frank with who you are during courtship. Not when you are enabled the True self comes out. That is not a honorable trait...

placeofallure:
The arrangement is fair enough if:

1. I won't have to lift a finger and earn any income for the family, and I will have enough to spend to meet all of my "reasonable" needs. Then,
2. If he will go out there and work his ass out to earn every penny that we will need to live in comfort.

But No! Nigerian men, you want slaves in the house who run double shifts. Domestic duties and Breadwinning duties. I've seen on many threads here how guys bash ladies who don't work and depend on men. You can't have your cake and eat it, it's either we're your house slaves and you're the sole breadwinners or we both win bread and slave it out. The truth is always bitter.

Yes but he isnt working for you, hes working for the family, your mothers did this without lifting a finger and they didnt complain cause its not hard. its not slavery, you ladies just have high ego cause of feminism, you think doing chores will hurt your ego, well then again its a fair deal, if you think its slavery, you are the one declaring yourself a slave

ceeceeuwa:
Women these days are equally bread winners. They provide for their homes in one way or the other, either by engaging in trade or they are professionals in various fields.

Do you know what breadwining is, can you compare 100 to 10 cause thats the ratio of money working women put into the family compared to men

hashtagged:
If it was common it would be known, nothing stays hidden, that means it rarely happens

You have no idea.

tayooluwole:
You're slowpoke,,,what about those ladies that leave their comfort zone to hustle to bring comfort to her home... OP is right,,, you must have been a perpetual slave bf you are called a good wife in Nigeria...i feel for Nigeria women sha

I didnt insult you and i wont cause i dont have your time. How many ladies work and bring home, look at your street and count, and exclude the families without a man in them, cause if there was he would be the sole figure

placeofallure:
The arrangement is fair enough if:

1. I won't have to lift a finger and earn any income for the family, and I will have enough to spend to meet all of my "reasonable" needs. Then,
2. If he will go out there and work his ass out to earn every penny that we will need to live in comfort.

But No! Nigerian men, you want slaves in the house who run double shifts. Domestic duties and Breadwinning duties. I've seen on many threads here how guys bash ladies who don't work and depend on men. You can't have your cake and eat it, it's either we're your house slaves and you're the sole breadwinners or we both win bread and slave it out. The truth is always bitter.

Or the lady becomes the breadwinner whilst the guy takes care of the homefront

Toks2008:
You have no idea.

I am aware, but its by majourity we make judge on

Toks2008:
The idea of a wife material by many men is not different from the idea of having a slave in the house... Men want a woman who will be able to wake up as early as possible when others are still asleep, do the house chores and tend to the needs of the kids, the husband and after serving her household, she will go out to make ends meet and latter come back home to make sure her kids and husband are well taken care of and this includes cooking, washing their clothes and lots more... Men want a Nanny, A cook, A laundry lady, house cleaner, An errand lady, Sex provider and many more in one lady who is considered a weaker sex and as if this is not stressful enough, most men would rather boast about the ability of their lady in washing hard fabrics with bare hands, they will talk about how they so much love a lady because she can pound yam the natural way and will be proud to talk about how good their lady is in using archaic methods to prepare their meals... And the worst twist is that even if the lady is pregnant, they will still watch her do these tasks.

So I ask: is there anything different between a wife material and a slave? Will heaven fall if the man assists his wife in the home front?

Does common sense not tell the man that he needs to make life easier for his wife by getting a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and several other home/cooking appliances that will make life easier for her. Must a lady even know how to cook before you tag her wife material? What if she just can't cook or is the ability to cook part of success in life?

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not here to advise ladies to be redundant in their homes. Every married lady must be a home keeper, ensuring that her kids and husband are her priority...but nevertheless, in my opinion, a wife material means a gentle, submissive wife who will love you for who you are, tolerate your weaknesses, a Wife Material is a woman who is about her business, can hold her own in a conversation, is generous and can handle money well. A woman who will put your needs first and values her marriage so much that she won't defile it by being unfaithful... And just as the book of proverbs 31 says,...'' a virtuous woman is one who leads her home with integrity, discipline, and more and all the virtues she is practicing are aimed at making the life of her husband better, teaching her children, and serving God'' this is never the same as having a slave in the house in the name of wife material.

My prayer for every man reading this is that God provides for you so that you will make life easier for your woman so that you can look beyond that slave-like quality that many men use to qualify a wife material.


I hope this makes sense.

Oga op, why is today generation av been brainwashed by western people. Theses things are what our mother did and nothing happen, the west who thought you this gibberish u r pouring, have good system working for them but here, we know how it is for medium n low income homes. So are u expecting someone earning less than 80k after paying all the bills from rent,sch fees,nepa etc to go ahead and hire cook, get laundry man. U people should shut up already, if u people can look beyond ur nose u will discover women are already taking over juicy places in the society n the lil who still want to remain loyal to their men y’all still keep pushing them. Las las we go switch position

pocohantas:
Very true once again. The Nigerian men in my forthcoming romance blockbuster.

Hahahahaha, I be wereh too oh, I can be a rebel when on my male period, so no put me there oh before I spoil your show

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

I wish i can like this comment a million times!

If a woman sees the roles of a wife as slavery and wants her husband to share the roles with her, then she should be ready to share the role of footing the bills as co-breadwinner with the man.

Equation balanced!!

What I can say is, find a friend you can marry.
A lot of response here is full of bitter lips (hands since they typed what their tongue and mind is saying).
In marriage, what works for A may be what caused divorce for C, and what C can't tolerate is what B can overlook.
In order words, Charles loves to cook in the kitchen with his wife, and Kennedy was brought up by his mom never to cook in the kitchen so he sees kitchen stuff as a ladies thing, while Jeffery loves arranging his laundry well and neither Charles or Kennedy knows how to do laundry.
All I am saying is, getting and remaining married is not fairy tale, forget all those photo session couples post for you, there is more to being married than meet the eyes.
Tolerance,
Tolerance,
Tolerance,
Loaned tolerance (because your tolerance won't be enough, you will have to loan more from elders in the game),
Then saying less about your home to third party (helps a lot),
Paddling your canoe (without comparing your home with other),
Drink plenty water and sleep.

J111333:
Marriages of old were stable because our grandmothers accepted the roles of slaves and it was very easy for them to do that. They were mostly what Oyibos call home makers but this is unacceptable and overwhelming to today's wives who equally work hard to put food on the table just like the men.
In my opinion, men should sit and live up to the expectations of today's world.
How can a pregnant woman be cleaning and washing while her husband sits and watch tv?
How can a man not help out in the kitchen when his wife is overwhelmed cooking several dishes at a time?
How can a man sit and watch while his wife bathes the kids, dresses them and takes them to school?
These things can be done and they won't make someone less a man, it's all about common sense.

. Please don't generalize ok, most men now cook better than their wives, have you been to most of our first class hotels, men are the chefs ok. On my own, I cook more than most ladies and I take care of my house also but since we have decided to share home chores equally between husbands and wives; can we also share financial responsibilities equally too- your guess is as good as mine cos a woman can marry without any job or source of income and our society still apludes it but such is not acceptable from any man cos everyone will go traditional and religious which stipulates that men MUST PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY, thank you.

Toks2008:
For those who comprehend, it will bring succor, balance, sanity, and lots of improvements to their marriage. Only guys who are Narcissist will see something wrong with this thread.

That's your definition of narcissist though

Toks2008:
The idea of a wife material by many men is not different from the idea of having a slave in the house... Men want a woman who will be able to wake up as early as possible when others are still asleep, do the house chores and tend to the needs of the kids, the husband and after serving her household, she will go out to make ends meet and latter come back home to make sure her kids and husband are well taken care of and this includes cooking, washing their clothes and lots more... Men want a Nanny, A cook, A laundry lady, house cleaner, An errand lady, Sex provider and many more in one lady who is considered a weaker sex and as if this is not stressful enough, most men would rather boast about the ability of their lady in washing hard fabrics with bare hands, they will talk about how they so much love a lady because she can pound yam the natural way and will be proud to talk about how good their lady is in using archaic methods to prepare their meals... And the worst twist is that even if the lady is pregnant, they will still watch her do these tasks.

So I ask: is there anything different between a wife material and a slave? Will heaven fall if the man assists his wife in the home front?

Does common sense not tell the man that he needs to make life easier for his wife by getting a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and several other home/cooking appliances that will make life easier for her. Must a lady even know how to cook before you tag her wife material? What if she just can't cook or is the ability to cook part of success in life?

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not here to advise ladies to be redundant in their homes. Every married lady must be a home keeper, ensuring that her kids and husband are her priority...but nevertheless, in my opinion, a wife material means a gentle, submissive wife who will love you for who you are, tolerate your weaknesses, a Wife Material is a woman who is about her business, can hold her own in a conversation, is generous and can handle money well. A woman who will put your needs first and values her marriage so much that she won't defile it by being unfaithful... And just as the book of proverbs 31 says,...'' a virtuous woman is one who leads her home with integrity, discipline, and more and all the virtues she is practicing are aimed at making the life of her husband better, teaching her children, and serving God'' this is never the same as having a slave in the house in the name of wife material.

My prayer for every man reading this is that God provides for you so that you will make life easier for your woman so that you can look beyond that slave-like quality that many men use to qualify a wife material.


I hope this makes sense.

the summary of what you wrote is simply help your wife in house chores... That is not a problem for me...

hashtagged:
Shut up which kind millions, its one in a hundred in africa

From your response to my comment

It gives away a lot about you

DexterousOne:
From your response to my comment

It gives away a lot about you

I dont give a shit about what you think

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

Read his write up and answer this question.

How many men can take care of the home singlehandedly?

hashtagged:
I dont give a shit about what you think

That's fine by me

DexterousOne:
That's fine by me

Ok

Dew04:
the error, thanks! Autocorrect is a bitch.
I don't get your post. Women don't work alongside men, or?
Every women who's earning is either single or a widow?

That's when they appreciate what they had. Appreciation means you contributing not just working..

Fourwinds:
the summary of what you wrote is simply help your wife in house chores... That is not a problem for me...

LOL! Good to know.

lastclaire4:
Read his write up and answer this question.

How many men can take care of the home singlehandedly?

Did you read my post, did i say anything about single handedly.

Men-work money
Women-care for kids and chores

NerdyRudeGyal:
Any sensible woman will run from a man who believes in such 1950s' concept of a "wife material" ― slavish, docile, no voice of her own, lets the man run the show ― in 2020.

True. I guess this thread is about foolish men and foolish women.... or written with a pre 1950's mentality.