₦airaland Forum

eazzzy1:
People have a bias and react to things through the lens of these biases. I am sure once he opened my thread he thought it was another diasporan bashing Nigerians in Nigeria post and he couldn't resist the impulse to defend the NIN.

True

Shikena:
In fact, Nigerians abroad should stop sending money home & learn how the economy of their resident countries work. Some Nigerians are making a killing everyday in America but most still need to learn to use the financial system without the Nigerian mindset. We need to learn from the Scots, Indians, Pakistanis, Chinese etc. Stop wasting good investment money on useless ventures in Nigeria. You can do that when you have a flourishing business abroad. Just my opinion.

Well said
I agree wholeheartedly with you

madridsta007:
6. Entitlement Mentality: This goes without saying. Any Nigerian who is "abroad" and legal is often quite busy- working, networking, studying, etc. His or her time is very premium to him/her. He or she has grown to understand value systems and concept of respect, gratitude, hard work, adaptability, flexibility, etc. Believe me, beyond what people say, the Nigerian "abroad" is not generally stingy; there is nothing "abroad" does to you that makes you stingy. If you are stingy "abroad" you must have been stingy in Nigeria. It is your character.

While the person "abroad" wants to help, the Nigerian in Nigeria should understand that you are NOT entitled to anything from this person abroad, unless you have a signed contract with the person. Hence if the person does anything for you, say "thank you" and mean it. You will not die. If the person spends hours speaking to you, chasing up things for you, and at the last minute, you drop the idea, PLEASE make sure you explain your reasons to the person and dont just ghost the person abroad. Believe me, he/she will regret ever making contact with you- his/her time is SO precious. Regardless of whom you are to him/her you are NOT entitled to his/her time. NO. Again, this person abroad will prefer you come to him/her with money-making ideas and NOT just begging each time. If you do that each time, he/she will avoid your calls and emails. I cant stress that enough.
Unfortunately Nigerians today, especially young Nigerians, are so entitled that you will wonder if it is a curse from somewhere. It annoys the Nigerian abroad and believe me, he/she will eventually avoid you. YOU ARENOT ENTITLED TO ANYONE'S MONEY OR TIME! Regard it! Express genuine gratitude! You wont die!

I once spent my time and resources to chase up a scholarship for someone to go to the US. After getting everything done in the US, this fellow in Nigeria told me he wasnt interested again as, "I dont like the course". Really In the end I had to apologise and create a reason to the University why the student couldnt come. This was three years ago. Today, the student is still going up and down and hasnt moved an inch from where he was 3 years ago. For me, I regret that my time was wasted and I had to re-build my reputation with this particular institution. Why Nigerians are so inflexible with opportunities and don’t understand the concept of time annoys me.

I can go on and on, but you get my point.

Just imagine the ingrate

Instead of him to accept the course and cross over...
This is just really unfortunate

Meninmen:
Bros, out of every 20 Nigerians that go to US, Canada, UK, Australia, etc only 2 will not make it. There are more Nigerians making it abroad. I have countless testimonies that I Can't mention.

80% of all the big big houses in my city are owned by people living abroad. Forget all these talk. People are making it abroad.

Even my professional colleagues are moving out of the country in hundreds Every year. They just need like 2 to 3 years (some less sef) to settle down, then money will start rolling in.

For professionals, this is often the case

gypsey:
Why do most nigerians or africans believes/thinks that migrating abroad is for financial reasons? it might be the case for some people but not for all, Anyway, i wouldn't know, i was born in east london.

Most of my previous neighbours are Nigerians, from the way i saw how they live they are not struggling atall. they own the property they live in, they drive brand new top of the range cars. they may have bought the cars on HP but what da heck! they are living good lives. i don't know about them sending money home but they tell me it's not about money it is about peace of mind, working system and believe me, nigerians knows how to take advantage of the system.

I visit my parents in nigeria since they relocated regularly and the things i saw in nigeria was baffling. bribery, extortion, lawlessness, intimidation, kidnapping, armed robbery, i mean how can a lorry fail break? and kill so many people, only in nigeria i heard lorries fail breaks, motorists driving the wrong way opposite no one is held responsible, no investigations, no arrests, no nothing. i am not saying accidents do not happen over here but when it does someone must pay!

for people who believes migrating abroad is a bad idea, well... as i ve said, i wouldn't know.

not every migrant is doing well but most are doing well... as i ve said again it might not be a financial issue for some.

Interesting perspective you got there


For someone like me...
It's all about the intangibles
I've had enough of the madness in Nigeria

DexterousOne:
Just imagine the ingrate

Instead of him to accept the course and cross over...
This is just really unfortunate

My brother, at the moment, Nigerians are generally ungrateful. It seems the words “please”, “thank you very much” have been banned from
Nigeria’s lexicon. I once told someone, “if you say ‘thank you’ will you die?”
There’s a terrible sense of ownership and entitlement mentality most Nigerians currently have. I wonder where it came from.

Ur submission full my belle.. Well said!!!

[quote author=DexterousOne post=92904310]The guy you quoted is right

That relative of yours dont owe you anything

However, if he wants to give you based on benevolence
He should
But he is not obliged to[/quote]

victorjoe:
Story!!! Who stingy stingy. I have a friend that never sends money or help his very own blood brother in any way.

Meanwhile this his brother that is here in naija has a friend that sends him money anytime he requests. I mean round the clock. They are both in the US o. Meanwhile, this guy's brother earns way more than the friend.

Just cos he earn more dont mean he has more. Maybe his rent is more expensive maybe hes paying off more debt. Its not as cheap as u think to live in places like the us or europe or australia. Rent is very expensive so is power aswell as internet and clothing and food. Even if you have a great paying job. Living is expensive. It cost a hell of alot to buy land or a house. Even with free medicare in some countries u still have to pay for medications which can be costly and still gotta pay some off the drs bills the gvt dont cover it 100% and fuel is expensive too.

Arrogantbro:
Boss. Thanks a lot, send me rice instead

Saw this your post somewhere

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Bump.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Lol.

I learnt so much from this thread. So educative!
I hope Nigerians will change their perception about people living abroad. It isn't easy anywhere.

I'm a final year engineering student, currently working on my project. I need financial assistance for my project and my clearance. Things are really hard with me with little support.
I can provide any proof of studentship or anything at all for verification.