Chim ooh! Local girl is tired. Ole ihe bu ihe nkaa?

The Genesis of the matter.

I just finished watching a romantic movie and I've been sighing longingly for over an hour. What is in this "love" that people are falling into everyday yet I've been unlucky in finding that place? And although I hear people say "there's no love in Nigeria", I can't help but doubt them when I see my timelines on Facebook. Wedding every Saturday, love in the air. Or is there own feem trick?. Does love segregate?

What pushed me to write this thread?

I just realised that as old as I am, I've never been in love before and I'm suddenly coming to the unpalatable conclusion that at the rate I'm going, falling in love may never happen to me (wails uncontrollably). I want to love somebody's son and I want somebody's son to love me back. Is it hard to do?

There was a time I thought I knew how to achieve this feat but conditions are not favoring my initial plans of travelling abroad, doing a whirlwind romance and falling in love like they portray that they do over there, so I've decided to cut my coat according to my cloth, literally, and just do the type practiced here. So early this year, I made a research (Aproko) on how best to achieve this and voila: Nairaland Romance section popped up in brilliant hues.

Romance-land and the word "love"

But contrary to my expectations, romanceland has failed woefully in trying to help me attain this goal (these peeps here don't know what love is). With their incessant need to discuss on repetition topics ranging from preeks and kitten to redpill and feminism, even broke guys and entitled ladies all day long, I've found it hard to actually pinpoint a topic/thread that centers/teaches on love and how to fall in it. Thus asking, should I consult another section and try my luck over there? Maybe politics section? Those guys over there "sound" vicious enough and since the violent taketh it by force...

What I need?

So I've taken it upon myself to make the necessary clarion call on behalf of all the single people like me who has never been in love before, and for those who wish to experience it again to get the directions they need. As I am ignorant about how to go about falling in love, I'd implore those with expertise to help us with plentiful knowledge on the matter so that we can all learn and apply it.

Specifically, I need clarification on: where the entrance called "love" is located so I can go and fall inside or is that it is no longer accepting applications at this time? Has the door of love finally closed?



Thank you.


Disclaimer: Any attempt, or attempted attempt or attempt to attempt to disrupt, disintegrate, dismember or disjoin the appendages of this piece shall be met with muted silence and overlook of the highest frequency. All plans to prove your careless disregard for the topic shall be treated with unwavering nonchalance. Be warned.

Take am easy o, no fall break leg.

Op u be girl or boy?

Start by loving your dad and brothers first.

A woman who loves her dad and remains close to him will most likely never have issues with men.

Only a man can teach a woman who a man is and by extension what love is.

Love has no manuals dear, it can happen at anytime, anywhere.
All you need to do is to open your heart and mind to romantic opportunities, be open minded, be ready to commit and be true to yourself, know what you really want and go for it.

You seem intelligent judging by your write - up. I hope you find true love soon.


Incase you don't know na me talk

If you love yourself so deep and so hard.. You'll realize you don't need someone else to interfere

OP you are not alone. I try not to be jealous of seeing a pair or I just avoid them.

I hardly do this but I am gonna make an exception here,there is no manual or guide that teaches us how to fall in love,it comes like the wind trust me when it does,it's such a beautiful thing.

Sorry to bust your bubble dearie. In these days love setting. Love is sex and money.

There is no sincerity. Even when you sincerely open your heart wholeheartedly to love and accept them, they'll play you like a football. (Chelsea vs Man U kind of match). But if you're very strong and want to keep attempting till you find the right person, break a leg then.

But I'll advice you to carry all that love and give to your family and the less privileged, they're people that need it the most and will cherish it.

One word: Nonsense.




Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit.

CosmicPhoenix:

We all know you are looking for a man to tie down with marriage, just say the truth

I want to fall in love first.


Marriage will come later.

Uzomacharles:
Op u be girl or boy?

I could have sworn somewhere up there in my post had enough clue to ascertain my gender, most especially if the pink "f" tattoed on my moniker was misleading.

I like you

Let's have a conversation about adventure

J111333:
Start by loving your dad and brothers first.

A woman who loves her dad and remains close to him will most likely never have issues with men.

Only a man can teach a woman who a man is and by extension what love is.

What does falling in love have to do with having issues with men? I'm honestly confused

MrTAnonymous:
Love has no manuals dear, it can happen at anytime, anywhere.
All you need to do is to open your heart and mind to romantic opportunities, be open minded, be ready to commit and be true to yourself, know what you really want and go for it.

You seem intelligent judging by your write - up. I hope you find true love soon.


Incase you don't know na me talk

I've heard this admonition a few times but I suppose the reason I haven't tried to be serious about looking for love is cause I'm scared?

I heard heartbreak is as serious as a heart attack. I don't want love to kill me

iPrevail:
If you love yourself so deep and so hard.. You'll realize you don't need someone else to interfere

No ooh. I heard that's not how love works. You have to love other people somehow somehow

Sixfeetbelle....

Dafuq did I just read?


So.what do you call what we have? Lust?

After all i did for you, you still have the guts to be looking for lofu!!!!


This is so fuqed up!!!

Stephenmoka4:
OP you are not alone. I try not to be jealous of seeing a pair or I just avoid them.

I'm tired of seeing people fall in love. I've awwed, I've day dreamed. In short, my jaw aches from how hard it smiled after watching that movie.

I just want to experience that "heart pounding" feeling. I'm tired of dealing with crushes.

SarutobiEky:
One word: Nonsense.




Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit.

You sound sad, but you said not to quote you, so...

Stephenmoka4:
OP you are not alone. I try not to be jealous of seeing a pair or I just avoid them.

Nawa o.....


U avoid people in love? That jealous much?


Well, being so nice, you can love me.....no homo dou

luminouz:
Sixfeetbelle....

Dafuq did I just read?


So.what do you call what we have? Lust?

After all i did for you, you still have the guts to be looking for lofu!!!!


This is so fuqed up!!!

Are we in love? I didn't know nah. Our love is nothing like the one in the movie I just watched. That's why I had no idea we were in love. No sparks, no heart fluttering feelings, nothing like that. I'm tired of awing at other people. I want to awww at myself too.

I want that type of love. Sorry

Cutehector:
I like you

Let's have a conversation about adventure

I'm scared. I don't want someone to break my heart ooh

It's better I don't fall in love than to have it shattered to pieces afterwards. That's my dilemma.

Sixfeetbelle:


I'm tired of seeing people fall in love. I've awwed, I've day dreamed. In short, my jaw aches from how hard it smiled after watching that movie.

I just want to experience that "heart pounding" feeling. I'm tired of dealing with crushes.

Lol... You see your life?

Who dey crush on you sef?


N.B I feel like trolling you tonight. Seems you really need LOVE,so I will stop

Same time next week? Ciao!!!

Sixfeetbelle:




Are we in love? I didn't know nah. Our love is nothing like the one in the movie I just watched. That's why I had no idea we were in love. No sparks, no heart fluttering feelings, nothing like that. I'm tired of awing at other people. I want to awww at myself too.

I want that type of love. Sorry

Lol. I was just messing with you.


Wait? Are you really serious about this topic?


If you are and you REALLY wanna find LOVE, I could give a few tips. I'm being serious.

Sixfeetbelle:


I've heard this admonition a few times but I suppose the reason I haven't tried to be serious about looking for love is cause I'm scared?

I heard heartbreak is as serious as a heart attack. I don't want love to kill me

Why are you scared? For some, they have to kiss a significant number of frogs before one finally transforms to a prince, while for others a prince is a prince, not a prince disguised as a frog.

There's no 'How To' manual on falling in love (although some articles in Readers Digest try to convince us otherwise), so just open up yourself to possibilities. When you consciously search for love, you will be disappointed because you will have an army of big, fat frogs marching up to you day and night

Shortyy:
Sorry to bust your bubble dearie. In these days love setting. Love is sex and money.

There is no sincerity. Even when you sincerely open your heart wholeheartedly to love and accept them, they'll play you like a football. (Chelsea vs Man U kind of match). But if you're very strong and want to keep attempting till you find the right person, break a leg then.

But I'll advice you to carry all that love and give to your family and the less privileged, they're people that need it the most and will cherish it.

What about loving someone and having it reciprocated in that mature spousal way?

The giving to family and less privileged is different from the one you give to your spouse. In my opinion. I want to believe it comes with a sort of fulfillment when it happens abi it's oyibo feem that is messing with my brain?

Your middle line is my dilemma. Since I've never been in love before, I don't know how strong I am emotionally to keep going through love and heartbreak until I find the right one. Can I survive after the first person? After 10 persons?

luminouz:



Lol... You see your life?

Who dey crush on you sef?


N.B I feel like trolling you tonight. Seems you really need LOVE,so I will stop

Same time next week? Ciao!!!

No ooh. Nobody is crushing on me. I'm the one doing the crushes but it's draining when the person doesn't even "see" you.

I do need love. Epp my ministry

Octopusssy:

Why are you scared? For some, they have to kiss a significant number of frogs before one finally transforms to a prince, while for others a prince is a prince, not a prince disguised as a frog.

There's no 'How To' manual on falling in love (although some articles in Readers Digest try to convince us otherwise), so just open up yourself to possibilities. When you consciously search for love, you will be disappointed because you will have an army of big, fat frogs marching up to you day and night

Unconsciously looking for love hasn't exactly been working for me, so no. I think I'll have to pass on that. But I'll agree to kissing frogs until Mr prince materialises.

Those actors who portray love as bliss have issues with their relationships in real life.

If it were true as portrayed, they won't struggle.

Sixfeetbelle:


What about loving someone and having it reciprocated in that mature spousal way?

The giving to family and less privileged is different from the one you give to your spouse. In my opinion. I want to believe it comes with a sort of fulfillment when it happens abi it's oyibo feem that is messing with my brain?

Your middle line is my dilemma. Since I've never been in love before, I don't know how strong I am emotionally to keep going through love and heartbreak until I find the right one. Can I survive after the first person? After 10 persons?

10 attempts? lmao don't worry by the time you have one, you'll start rethinking.

Sixfeetbelle:




No ooh. Nobody is crushing on me. I'm the one doing the crushes but it's draining when the person doesn't even "see" you.

I do need love. Epp my ministry

Firstly, you need a man in your life as a mentor. What really tickles me is that so many girls online and offline think they have men figured out but thats not the case. Most of y'all dont know US. So try and have a male friend(who is either engaged,married or not attracted to you sexually oh...) And if he is a G, he will advise you well. This is what I have done for 3 separate girls. 2 of them are now married.

The first thing a G will tell you is that THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LOVE. Hollywood, Bollywood, Bollywood,Ghollywood or whatever fuqin wood these mudafvckers call their shiiits, are all wrong. Love is not what you all think it is. Its a mirage, a concept invented to make it easier for people to get married without causing too many wars and bloodshed. That shiit ain't real sis. You have the capacity to love a man in every city in Nigeria,Africa and the world. Humans ain't doves babe, we dont bond for life. If we did, we would have been wiped out.

That mushy mushy feeling,gooey half-dreamy stare, butterfly(what dafuq is that anyway) in the tummy, head swooning sensation the movies show you ain't mudafvcking real sis. What you have is interest and likeness which can vary from passive to very active. But like all things, these feelings can wane and become wan with time, subject to MUDAFVCKING factors that range from economy,family to who doesn't wash his/her socks on time kinda bullshit.




Digest that first. If you want, I can expatiante and really dig into the topic