₦airaland Forum

baralatie:
the best way now is not for the man to suffer in silence!
make the issue blown out open before people that matter(people she cannot hide from) in a way she is made to understand the end result of the choice she is about to make.either she ends the marriage based on the premise she longer is love with the husband as a result she finds him not loveable or she corrects this anomaly with immediate effect.(not try to make she makes a roundabout turn)
this without throwing trantums in the house

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

baralatie:
the best way now is not for the man to suffer in silence!
make the issue blown out open before people that matter(people she cannot hide from) in a way she is made to understand the end result of the choice she is about to make.either she ends the marriage based on the premise she longer is love with the husband as a result she finds him not loveable or she corrects this anomaly with immediate effect.(not try to make she makes a roundabout turn)
this without throwing trantums in the house

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

baralatie:
all of you guys saying the guy should collect back the car is only giving the women reason to dig in her heels and create a big rift

IDERAWOLE:
I feel like dropping some lines of advice for you, but a bit sleepy now.

From your story, your idea of a great sex is all about penetration of the organs like most men think.

Most men think the way you do. Reason for most sexual frustrations in marriages.

The starting point for great sexual experience is the holding of hands during the day when there's no sex on the agenda. Next is looking into her eyes, all the home chores you've been doing but painfully, they may not be her love languages. Find out her love languages, touching, words of affirmation, helping hands, buying of gifts etc. Some speak all of these languages, some one or two.

Sex doesn't make sense with a lady who is not asking you to make love to her. And how do you make a lady beg you for it? By those things I mentioned above.

That wife of yours will like to gist and talk and you are direct opposite of her from the way you spoke.

Forget about thrusting matter now and get to know your wife. Even lower animals love all those pre-sex fantasies, that most women want. Start practicing it, before you know it, you'll begin to run from too much sex.

luminouz:
You guys are funny sha...
How is a man supposed to report this kinda issue to people? Does it even sound manly to tell your father/mother in-law to tell their daughter to fuq you well?

A marriage of just 2 years and na sex matter u go dey report for her parents or pastor or whoever. Thats downright demeaning.

He should man up and deal with her like other posters said...reporting to her people makes it much worse

baralatie:
a marriage of 2 years and the wife is using sex as a weapon to manipulate the husband and he should keep quiet.
na there he go die the woman go bury am.
if he open fowl yansh and the woman says he no do again.
who comes out the better?

luminouz:
Oga you still no make sense. .

All your advice are skewed as FUQ.

Which mumu rift will she cause thats bigger that what she already did?

She clearly doesn't respect him,dont you get it?

luminouz:
A real man doesn't go all out and report such a sensitive issue to the in-laws...it shows his weakness.
What to do? Plenty guys already gave him solution: collect his car, keep late nights, have female company, stop the mumu chores, eat out(she doesn't even cook for him again sef) and many more. If those didn't work, separate peacefully. The wife is using the sexual urge to manipulate him. Its so glaringly obvious. .

Need I say more?

baralatie:
you are not understanding fully yet!
as at now!
she has the car,maid and doing of chores in her kitty and if he as the husband withdraws the car.
she will switch the story as the husband is maltreating her and if he comes out that it is because of sex.nkbody will believe that story.
you get the game now

baralatie:
a real man?
are u kidding me?
the Bleep can't touch his wife's breast and you talking about real kini?
she is showing character!
abeg the guy should blow the thing open so he has the narrative.from there the true intentions will come out

luminouz:
Na you no get the game. Its actions and consequences. A wife who could boldly tell her husband to fuq the maid doesn't respect him. Taking all that shiit away will make her see that he is serious.

If she says the husband took the car away due to sex,then what? Won't everyone say na she be at fault? Your role is to please your husband and she clearly didn't!!!

Be like say women never show you pepper before. They constantly test your resolve and if you fail,you go suffer oh. I don tell you my own

luminouz:
*sighs*

You clearly didn't get my point. I will never go to my inlaws and open my mouth to complain say my wife no dey fuq me. I will deal with her at home,by myself. That is what he should do. Na women dey run report to in-law,not men

luminouz:
You guys are funny sha...
How is a man supposed to report this kinda issue to people? Does it even sound manly to tell your father/mother in-law to tell their daughter to fuq you well?

A marriage of just 2 years and na sex matter u go dey report for her parents or pastor or whoever. Thats downright demeaning.

He should man up and deal with her like other posters said...reporting to her people makes it much worse

Ezi1993:
Anyway,,I don't feel pity for any guy that complains of one issue or the other that he may be having with his wife..becos you must have broken a very good Ex's heart and decided to settle for this one....Please enjoy what you paid for...Thank you.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

demanuel:
Or better still reporting to her people is to signal the last straw that will break the camel's back... Separation.
Reporting issues of sex and performing her duties is wasting time and will drag the matter unnecessarily. As soon as she begins to weaponise sex, she should immediately begin to lose the right she has as a wife.
Every silly action should receive immediate repercussions.

The wife @ 28 is acting like say girlfriend she dey do.

baralatie:
the best way now is not for the man to suffer in silence!
make the issue blown out open before people that matter(people she cannot hide from) in a way she is made to understand the end result of the choice she is about to make.either she ends the marriage based on the premise she longer is love with the husband as a result she finds him not loveable or she corrects this anomaly with immediate effect.(not try to make she makes a roundabout turn)
this without throwing trantums in the house

Gaggii:
Every married man are experiencing this bro.

Lemme give you a scope my dad thought me,

By another sim, save it with a lady's name. Let the lady start disturbing you for a relationship.

Then let the lady know that you are only thinking of considering extra marital affairs because your wife is denying you sex.

But she should give you time to think about it.

Let your wife know the password of your phone so that she can read this message.

If she read am and still no change, na another man wife you marry be that.

Fidelismaria:
You're a BLOODY SIMP

Lol, you even wash and iron your wife clothes!!!

TUFIAKWA

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.

Chii59:
OP is a believer, this advice is not for him.

lefulefu:
she has someone outside servicing her.obviously they forced her to marry u

baralatie:
so

what is the wife now!

she is believe r that backslide abi?

Chii59:
When believers have issues, there's a way it should be solved, not by adding sin to an unresolved problem.

ABANGWABOI:
My Gee ..

I just read the disgusting info the dude dropped I can't help but to marvel at his sufferings ..
A married man of Barely 34 and wife of Barely 28 masturbating because he denies her sex..
This generation of men are sissies, Weaklings, effeminate and has no spine..
Personally, I thank God I stumbled on nairaland and read so much to understand the manipulative and funny nature of most women..
Dem no born that girlfriend wey go deny me sex well talk much a Wife. I would send you away immeidiately and bring in another woman..
One thing I understand about the poster is ... He is emotional, and when you are emotional you become vulnerable.. secondly, he has caged himself with religion..
@OP.. If you don't become bold enough to make firm decisions then know that your pain and misery just started.. by the time you get to 10yrs in that marriage . You would be suicidal and depressed...

baralatie:
op just call parents,pastor and every important in her presence and lay it hard.if she wants you fine.if she no want you better
everybody face his/her life