To the brothers in the house.
If you want to choose a life partner, don't just go for any how girl but go for one woman that can assist your career, that can lift your hands up, that can speak to you that GUY you can do this and succeed. that can boost your moral.
You need a skill or handi work woman that can assist you in all areas of live.
when I got married, my salary was #60k and I was given 12 pages of Traditional marriage list and my house � rentage was #300k per annual but with the help of of my wife I survived all the obstacles, I paid all the Traditional marriage right, i did Court wedding and the church wedding too and from #60k God move me to the next level of life. still living well till date. Na God
Understanding matters alot in marriage

Jamestown123:
You don't know what God has done for you bro, a graduate receiving a salary of 80k is really Thanksgiving. My brother haa.

I swear my brother l know a lawyer that ears 40k per month

mright05:


Oil full your head bro, she is not contributing any income , but she is coming about your income, u get mind to marry that kind gals oh,

You can imagine the nonsensee from the girl and her family. A man that earnes a steady 80k every month is good to start a family and raise the family very well. Even if his wife is earning 30k every month . The family will live very comfortable with may be two kids. But now this girls is jobless instead improving to get a job . She is more concerned about her husband Pocket. I don't know if Nigerian girls a curseed because this is getting out of hand

80k is too bad for a start. I married in 2010 with an income of less than 30k though,hustled had and with God on my side, we can boast of properties today. Keep on hustling,suspend the marriage for now and upgrade first.

EM123:
bro my advice is for u to seek a spiritual backup , am not talking of money ritual . If u seek spiritual backup favour will locate u in anything u are doing , if u like learn all the skills in nigeria and u don't have favour , ur skill is waste in nigeria . U can b working in dat ur working place , a bigger contract will meet u . That is the result of spiritual backup .

How do one get spiritual backup

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

. Go and thank God almighty that you dodged a lethal bullet. You stepped into a family of entitled mofos. Work to improve your income but not because of them. Her brother is forming for you, her mother is giving you hassles and the girl has joined the chorus. You want to marry from the family of people that will use nagging to send you to your early grave. Your girl isn't helping matters and she has no mind of her own. Go and improve your life and look for a girl from a family that will allow you to grow in peace. Don't go and marry heart-ache and head-ache.

Ps i will be glad if u can teach me web development presently leaning java programming in a computer school but i don't want to learn the web development with them cus of the amount involved. Pls help

FanOfMyself:
I can teach you web development

Sixfeetbelle:


Which contribution did our grandmother's make except having kids, managing the home front and being submissive? We can do that as well.

Did they have to take up jobs and businesses to support the home? Wasn't that entirely resting on the man?

the world has changed and with this mentality of yours you'll have to stay long before you get a simp for marriage.
The house chores you are good at could actually be done by the housemaid while you go out and also hustle and bring money home.
Men don wise up and no man needs a liability anymore.

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

Please What's this job all about

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

If you have a laptop to use and some cash to spare,you can hit me up on WhatsApp,i will teach you e-commerce (mini-importation and how to sell through facebook ads)

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Your fiancee is absolutely correct. Suspend marriage plans (not just wedding plans please). She's learning a trade and you're earning 80k? Please do not impregnate her now. Wait for her to finish learning the trade and start her craft. But sincerely, she needs to go to school; the prospects for the future is brighter that way. Even if you get a better job (I hope you're searching?) Save some money and start something on the side. When your side hustle starts to return income, then you can think of marriage.

Chummynoni:
Take yur time bro. If she is meant for you,she will stay wit u no matter what. If i share my story, you wud know that what is yours wud always be yurs no matter the circumstance.

pls share

Don't get mad on your wife to be talking about improving finance. Only a foolish mind does away with advice. On my part please try talking to her and at the same time work on getting multiple sources of income.
All the best sir!

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

You have no reason to cry fowl....the girl's family did no wrong.


Listen let me tell you, Nigeria has never been easy, but the truth is, Nigeria of today have become even more difficult for young people with no solid family background to give them a lift.


Don't gamble with your destiny and future. Yes some say marriage brings good luck or fortune....but if that is true and happens to all, I am sure we won't have poor, wretched married people who gave birth to hungry children that continued the poverty cycle we have today.


So in as much as your case might be different; as in, your own marriage might bring you luck....we can never tell if you are one of those destined for such.....so for now work on what you can control - fix your life financially first before embarking on any marital moves.


If you have 3million naira as a single guy in Nigeria, you are in fact rich in the Nigerian eye.....but as a married man, if you have 10million, you are not......why Too many responsibilities comes with marriage.


It is easier for you to travel out of Nigeria to seek for greener pasture as a single guy than as a married guy.


I will advice you put all your efforts towards looking for a way to migrate out of Nigeria to boost your income....and if you love Nigeria so much, you can go back to Nigeria haven raised enough capital to start a good business venture. If you are single, it will be easier for you to mingle with older white ladies online and get help to move out of Nigeria....if you are married, you cannot do that.....your chances become limited as a guy the moment you marry.



Don't be angry with your girl and her family, they really care about you.....marriage is not all to life......get your feat financially and your marriage will be sweet.

Chummynoni:
Take yur time bro. If she is meant for you,she will stay wit u no matter what. If i share my story, you wud know that what is yours wud always be yurs no matter the circumstance.

share this story bro, some of us need to hear it

I think both of you need to work on your careers a bit before jumping into starting a family. You're young. Don't put too much pressure on yourself right now. Just hustle.

If you can't find an opportunity or a good one, create it. If you have to sell corn and chickens, who cares? Make your money. Your nice house won't care how the money was made. And your bride won't care if tomatoes got her a nice wedding dress.

thesicilian:
With the marriage plans, it seems you were heading into the life of the average Nigerian family man living daily from hand to mouth and praying fervently for the next day's meal. Thank God for your girlfriend and in-laws who God has used to redeem you (whether their intentions are genuine or not).

My advice to you is that you should invest most of your salary into marketable skills, keep your certificates aside for now. Learn a skill that you know can set you up within 6months to 1yr and then start your own business based on that skill. It could be in IT, Real estate, engineering, construction, general grade, etc, just something with good potentials that God can bless for you.

With 80k how can he go into real estate?

FanOfMyself:

09074191547 WhatsApp.
Please if you are not ready to start learning right away don't contact me. Lots of people here contact me just to waste my precious time. You can drop any questions you have on here

I am not like them. I am quite serious minded.

I would contact via the WhatsApp number tomorrow.

Regards

Escabado:
[color=#770077][/color]

A man earning 80k is very good and right to get married. Your woman is a materialistic woman and so is her family. If her elder brother thinks u are not doing well , he should assit you with some money to start something that suits him. Pls man up . Don't allow them determine for you , other wise they will be the one controlling the marriage. U need to dump that girl and find a better girl. Imagine a jobless girl complaining about your income. She should go and work to make money too .

First two years of my marriage, I was earning just 30k. Glory be to God. I had my first child earning 30k. We pay house rent, phcn bills, transport, feeding in that 30k. My wife was jobless yet we survived. As God will do it, my 4th year now, my monthly income is roughly 80k and we are living happily. I can't imagine someone saying 80k is too small to keep a marriage. God is truly wonderful. I appreciate you oh lord. Better focus and look for your right girl ( the op) Material ladies are dangerous. Those Early signs are clear enough

Jamestown123:
Salary of 80k. You are still talking about improving income, haaa.

Is it really this bad? I understand many are underemployed however, there are many that are not and earn more than N80k as fresh graduates. In his case, he had some years of experience which implies he should earn more.

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Trust me if I have a job of 60k I would have long married even if my wife is earning 30 to 40k monthly.
That babe isn't yours.
Pray make God give u someone who understands how life is. And also from Godly family.
Are they expecting you to take care of them too or what?

My guy nothing in weeding. You better open your eyes. Of you have this low relationship feelings subject to your salary you better leave girl for now and focus on your life.. I don't know why most of you fall for women trick easily... Wake up.

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

cathodekazim:



First two years of my marriage, I was earning just 30k. Glory be to God. I had my first child earning 30k. We pay house rent, phcn bills, transport, feeding in that 30k. My wife was jobless yet we survived. As God will do it, my 4th year now, my monthly income is roughly 80k and we are living happily. I can't imagine someone saying 80k is too small to keep a marriage. God is truly wonderful. I appreciate you oh lord. Better focus and look for your right girl ( the op) Material ladies are dangerous. Those Early signs are clear enough

I doubt you live in Lagos, Abuja or any of the top Nigerian cities.



I am happy that you are happy with your income.....but don't encourage others to take on the same dangerous route you took and survived by chance or luck....they might die in that same dangerous route.


The op need to forget anything marriage now and improve his life and finances.


He stand better chances of making it now financially than when he is married.



Nigeria is getting tougher by the day and international doors are closing everyday which helped lots of Nigerians escape poverty......he should forget about marriage now and hustle to migrate out of Nigeria or acquire a sellable skill that will give him better chances of improving his income.


Things will never get any better in Nigeria......it will continue getting worst, so every Nigerian youth now ought to plan well.


Ladies don't ever marry without a means of earning money to support your future husband.....don't commit that crime! it is crime to marry as a lady now without a job or handwork or business that earn you income, don't do it for the sake of your innocent unborn kids! They deserve good life pls.



As for you that I am quoting, please encourage your wife to get something to do....even if its business, handwork....or work from home business....don't let her continue to be idle while the family rely on your income alone, it is suicidal. Correct it now!!

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

I'm in sir. I'm so much interested sir

Instead of spending too much of ur money microsoft is doing free online training in software development with certificate on LinkedIn learning use the money to buy data to stream the tutorial online check here
https://blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2020/06/30/microsoft-launches-initiative-to-help-25-million-people-worldwide-acquire-the-digital-skills-needed-in-a-covid-19-economy/

Gerrard59:
Honestly, I don't get the fascination with Nigerians and marriage especially in the current economic climate. For goodness sake, you don't have enough to properly raise a family and boom! You are jumping into marriage. I'm sure you are one of those people who see marriage as a blessing - ridiculous way to reason. No wonder, you people just pop out babies like rats thereby populating what is already known as a shithole! Tomorrow, you will call Donald Trump a racist.

To be true (depending on the state he resides in) he can afford to in many Nigerian states.

However this is NOT without qualifications. E.g.
No children for a while., A Rather minimalist lifestyle and commitment to save and improve earnings.

Now the MAJOR issue is the Nigerian society. One element of our cultural thinking that has become a trap is the clamour for large weddings.

It's hard to argue that a Wedding is usually the average Nigerian [Youth's] Single largest Project. And this project ends in a day or 2!

It's a Big war to do any different. Society (including family) would fight back.

God help us.

.

OP you want to carry responsibility at your early age ba?


in a relationship your fiance family have started dictating for you in the relationship and you don't see that as a red flag?


so as an in-law you've the responsibility to be calling them everyday because you want to marry their daughter



now you're earning 80k in a month which is not bad with the Level of unemployment in this country but your fiance family, not your own family o is making you to feel comfortable with the income when many couples earned lower than that before marriage, this is laughable


lastly the Lady is just learning a skill yet her family are making her look like one Queen in your hand? an apprentice dating an average working class graduate and you're still feeling inferior of your capacity? you want to marry a Lady that's still learning skill? how many years did you spend in institution bro? it's a total waste of time


my advise for you always check your birth certificate every 2days not only to influence your psychological traits back but to reinstate your self esteem

80k?? When the lady has no source of income don't even try it

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Check this out, https:// applications.decagonhq dot com/
Note: just remove "dot" and replace with "." then close in the gaps.
The link is a six months software engineer training, you will pay your training fees after you are gainfully employed in the ICT industry.

AyarmBoye:
80k right now in Nigeria won’t do anything however people still marry with less even in Lagos.. but op shouldn’t b one of them.. Aren’t Nigerians tired of poverty ni.... Op should save aggressively n start a side hustle....

thumbs up