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My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by sanmtiago(m): 8:43pm On Nov 20, 2020
FanOfMyself:
I can teach you web development
please how lucrative is web development in Nigeria?
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by sojfarm: 8:43pm On Nov 20, 2020
My brother it shall be really well with you.

If I understand your case well:

1. One of your in law to be complained that you did not visit him; and your mother inlaw to be also started complaing that you dont call her

2. Your wife to be started complaining that you need to earn more money

See, if you want to be happy in life, never attempt to satisfy everyone.

You can start by managing the perception of your inlaws to be, Appeal to the Uncle to forgive you and your fiance. Change you attitude by calling your mother in law to be.

Overall, as a man you are the to spell out how things should be. The steps you take now will determine the foundation of family you want to build for your family and children. Whatever, you dont want in your marriage, you have to begin to reject them by application of wisdom.

It is well with you.



Then about your wife asking for more income. Lack of money is not a threat to your relationship, rather is it a test to the quality of your relationship. Meaning that if your girl want you to make more moeny, then both of you need to sit, plan together and work things out.

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Babaken(m): 8:44pm On Nov 20, 2020
How old is she I mean that your wife to be.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Arysexy(m): 8:44pm On Nov 20, 2020
If you follow bring Buhari into power for the second time, sorry is your name, continue with your penance.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Nobody: 8:44pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.
i think u suspend the wedding n work on looking for another woman

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Chris2863(m): 8:45pm On Nov 20, 2020
yomi007k:
Brother. Go for thanksgiving.
I swear, I just hope he doesn't have any intention of going back there
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by UnimkeAk(m): 8:45pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.
Don't try to improve ur income for anybody other than your personal comfort first....

5 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by lomprico(m): 8:46pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

look for another lady that will accept you how you are. the bitter truth is that the relationship is over.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by ojun50(m): 8:47pm On Nov 20, 2020
Na our for this life

When I got married I was not earning half of that amount but my wife understand and today we are leaving happily.

My advice get a working class lady, leave that family alone if you want to enjoy ur life..

9 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by ThaThinka: 8:49pm On Nov 20, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Which contribution did our grandmother's make except having kids, managing the home front and being submissive? We can do that as well.

Did they have to take up jobs and businesses to support the home? Wasn't that entirely resting on the man?

They assisted on the farms as well!
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by juman(m): 8:49pm On Nov 20, 2020
Thank your star.

Leave her and look for lady at your level.
There are several good ladies that can replace her.
The N80k you are getting monthly, many guys with families dont have salary like that.
Country is hard.

Dont go and rob because you desire to marry a particular girl.

5 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by yomi007k(m): 8:50pm On Nov 20, 2020
Chris2863:

I swear, I just hope he doesn't have any intention of going back there

He will...they always do.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by hustla(m): 8:50pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
.

Kindly drop your contact. Let's WhatsApp


Before you go and whatsapp him, be sure of the area you want to focus on
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Sixfeetbelle: 8:50pm On Nov 20, 2020
ThaThinka:


They assisted on the farms as well!

Do you have farm?

Besides, you said they assisted which means they didn't do all the farm work by themselves. And in this day of technology, assisting in farms sounds like child's play tongue
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by waleadeagb(m): 8:52pm On Nov 20, 2020
I quite understand your pain and disappointment my brother. However, I feel your issues is a blessing In disguise for you....by the way, how old are you if I may ask? Also how long have you been out of school and also working as a security administrator in that church?

Back to my blessing in disguise, that 80K might look big to some people especially if you aren't the ambitious and ostentatious type that desire the modern things of comfort. Probably might be okay for a guy that can condemn his life to just face me and face you kind of accomodation. But if you desire better living like I believe you do, it's better to forgo marriage and hustle to stand strong alone first by the action you are about to take now. My advise, don't leave your present security job cos it's not easy getting any job presently. Try and see what you can do online while still keeping your present job.

List of what you can do online.

1) You can be an online marketer and get your commission after selling a particular products or item. E.g: Cars, Clothings, Estates etc......

2) You can be a security consultant to estates within your neighborhood and still be doing your present job.

To be frank with you, God might give you a lady that has a job and would love you and be of tremendous support to you even more than the other lady or things might work out so fast in your hustle that would make you and your girl to pick up from where you started from. Note: Ain't wise entering marriage while being very light. That lovely love will turn sour after some time.....hustle alone for now especially if age is on your side....No hurry in love, no hurry in marriage....

Boss, Anything to better my life. I am open to it. [/quote]

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Fastlinkpro: 8:52pm On Nov 20, 2020
The family washing you alone should tell you that you have to run from such family, God just delivered you. Also improve your income ,you will surely be happy with another woman.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Iolo(m): 8:52pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
.

I am 32. I have been working for 7 years here. Also working while in school. Just finished last year and got a pay rise to 80k as security administrator.

Baba, my issue isn't the marriage. My issue is the money. I am desperately asking on how best improve my income. Concrete suggestions on what I need to lay my hands on now to get started. I am tire of submitting applications

Here’s my candid suggestion for you:

1. Have a plan: I’m not sure what you meant by security administrator but you need to ask yourself if this is what you want to continue doing? What career path does it fit into? How have others moved upwards from earning 80k to higher earnings?

It is often a tough pill to swallow but I personally believe that it is often better to work for “free” in a job with food prospects of upward mobility vs a job where you’ll be stagnant for years.

2. Will your current employer miss you when you leave? You need to answer this as honestly as possible. The goal here is to find out introspectively if you’re really good at your job as you think. If your employer will not really miss you, is it because you lack a certain skill they want? Are there any specific skills your employer sees in you and likes about you? If you asked your employer for a raise today will they say bye bye or ask your to reconsider. Seeing as you’ve spent 8 years in your current role I have the feeling that you should be able to answer this question easily.

2. Pick a career with higher chances of getting a job: it’s sad to say it but life doesn’t deal the same hand to everyone. If being a security administrator isn’t something that can earn you 500k monthly in any company over the next 3 to 5 years you probably want to change your career path quickly. If yes, ask yourself and others who have made it in the profession what it takes to get there. If no, you need to start thinking of changing course:

- get really good at using a computer if you aren’t already. It pays in today’s world to have your own laptop
- learn a skill in a profession like Software Design, Engineering, Data Science, Web Developer, Digital Marketing etc. these are career paths that are in demand where employers don’t necessary worry about what you studied in school.
- once you’ve identified what you’re passionate about and you have a computer with internet access there are many online platforms that can teach you skills for free.

3. Keep applying: I’ve noticed that people tend to underestimate how much work it is to get a job. I will suggest you adopt the mindset of aiming to apply for at least 50-100 jobs - in Nigeria you have to apply and apply and keep applying. Ensure you apply for a job you have a chance at. Update your resume and add skills that are complimentary to what the employer is looking for.

Don’t just send the same CV to every employer. You need like two or three versions of your resume where you tweak your resume to highlight certain aspects of your strengths as a security professional. Have a resume for example that speaks to working in a school. Have another that speaks to how your skills can be applied in a bank. Include your achievements in your resume too.

Like I said earlier on. Have the mindset that you need to apply for 50 jobs to get an interview. You will likely need to attend 4 or 5 interviews to seal a job that fits what you want pay wise. Overall you might end up applying for 200 jobs to get a job.

Where the hard work is is in applying for these jobs on a shorter period of time as against over years. Expose yourself to online platforms where you can upload your cv and applying doesn’t take much time. If you’re sending an email to apply for every job you will find it stressful. If you have to drop your cv physically same time as well. You need to balance these things but online applications make it easier.

If you aren’t already on LinkedIn for example, go there and create an account. Same thing with Jobberman and any other jobs portal you can find. Keep “Bombing” employers till they hear you. Keep updating your cv and in each interview try to know what you did right or wrong so you can improve your interviewing skills.


4. Ask your partner to go through these steps above. It’s important for husband and wife to have an income these days. I won’t say more here.

5. So your marriage postponement doesn’t become unending. Find out if money is the real issue here. If money is ask yourself how much you need to earn to get married. The amount you arrive at should be based on your expenses now and your future expenses when you get married. It’s also possible that you guys get married and plan to avoid having kids till you’re more stable. This Doesn’t sound “Nigerian” thing to do with the womb watchers that are abound but it’s an option for you to consider.

For example, taking care of a baby costs about 15-20k monthly depending. Some ppl spend much more others spend way less (I.e. use napkin instead of pampers, give the baby Ogi and stuff)

Lastly, be prayerful. There’s nothing God can’t do. He will expose you to the right path and you will see opportunities and clarity in whatever it is you decide to do.

Quite long but I hope this helps.

12 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Akin51(m): 8:52pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

This is my own advice sir,
Firstly,do not quit your job yet but you can start a business to complement your earning.Also ensure she finish learning her skill and earning too before marriage.so that the burden will not only be on you.

For a side business I recommend you start a mini importation business can be buying hot product from China or you deal with UK used phone mini importation biz.Either of the 2 can give you 2x of your current earning. Once you know what you are doing.just learn the skill.

Forget those telling you real estate,web design nd co.they are not that easy.but when inflow of money keep coming you can go and learn this.
Lastly pls do not let your fiance or her family Dictate for you or put you into pressure
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Innobee99(m): 8:53pm On Nov 20, 2020
How much does she earn?





Better run to ur village and marry one small girl that appreciate the little u earn. 80k for this kain hard time she no understand. Let me not insult her sha
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Lastmankc(m): 8:53pm On Nov 20, 2020
This life no balance at all.I don't even call my fiancée parents and siblings nah them dey call me and carry food stuffs come give me for house .

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Businessicon: 8:53pm On Nov 20, 2020
There's no rush in life, if you aren't financially buoyant enough, suspending the marriage is a very smart idea.

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Jasonjack: 8:53pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
.

She has always been understanding. And we have plans to improve ourselves especially on the skills she is learning.
We have invested so much in Thai relationships and leaving it now is just heartbreaking for me not to talk of her


My brother if God say she is yours whether her family like it or not, she go no where. When I did my marry 7 years ago my in-laws never supported it. They said they needed a wealthy man for their daughter but my wife saw a bright future in me and she stood by me. Thank God we are happily married with children and by God’s grace we are living a comfortable life. Be prayerful and focus don’t be distracted with what is going on. I believe, if you are marrying the right partner there are blessings attach to it.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by EgusiSoup: 8:54pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

I think you should learn to set your priorities in life cos I can see that woman is your problem inn life.

Sometimes I does not knows why graduates can’t even speak simple English!
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by mmaduoso: 8:54pm On Nov 20, 2020
U still have 80 k job and u are taking
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Vcblinks(m): 8:55pm On Nov 20, 2020
Call of the whole shit abeg,thank God that God has revealed this to you.call of the whole thing and face it.God will give you someone that will appreciate you
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by melaxy: 8:56pm On Nov 20, 2020
I earn an average of 150-200k monthly in bizness although i still feel i am not strong financially to get married. I employed someone and started him with 20k monthly and he told me he is traveling next month to see his supposed to be father in law. I was suprised. With 20k? I learnt something. Money or whatever you earn wont stop you from getting married otherwise that boy wont think of going to see his in law to be. Its continuing the process trusting God and doing your best.if she is avoiding marriage plans at 80k, you will go through fire when you loose your job. Some dissapointment are blessings in disguise

10 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by wengerboy: 8:57pm On Nov 20, 2020
Guy if you have a laptop and Android phone why waiting or working for this long?
God na number 1
Hustle na number 2
Enter street get updated formats and cashout big time
Before one month your in-laws will worship you.
Run street.

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by STENON(f): 8:57pm On Nov 20, 2020
Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.
Forget your babe and her family, enjoy your 80k with peace of mind. Be happy and don't be discouraged. Love is everywhere. Someone somewhere is praying to meet you soon... Na dem go dey rush you later when it is late grin

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by divinitybillz(m): 8:58pm On Nov 20, 2020
80k!!, bro you earn more than over 60million nigerians.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by WillTop: 9:00pm On Nov 20, 2020
pretydiva:
I think you should suspend the wedding, then you both work on your income. Things are pretty hard these days
You both should be financially buoyant before venturing into marriage

I believe they can get married but suspend giving birth to children
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by tabletguy(m): 9:00pm On Nov 20, 2020
oceanized25:
While 80k is not really high, it is not abominable for marriage either...i find It strange that people(most)are shouting"go look for money first,focus on money",I will bet my balls that they(some)don't have such regular amount coming in monthly...because others are talking, they also want to feel among.

Op,it's is alright to try n increase or better your income, but don't think the money is not enough for starters(just you n wife)most of those niggars talking up n down there will kill to be in your position...see them rushing for N-power n u will understand.
I don't know how old you are but you sound very very wise. I respect your wisdom sir.
Re: My Relationship Is Being Affected Because Of My Low Income. by Jamersirwin1971: 9:01pm On Nov 20, 2020
Chummynoni:
Take yur time bro. If she is meant for you,she will stay wit u no matter what. If i share my story, you wud know that what is yours wud always be yurs no matter the circumstance.

Can you pls send

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