Why are you disturbed? This might be the sign you need. The family has issues and they need to deal with it. Take your girlfriend out and talk to her and if she still wants things suspended that is find. You don't need a lot of money before you get marry, if you can yourself and your wife and kids you're good to go.

ebenezer202l:
God bless you my dear sister.
you're truly a woman that God will bless cos from your comment I can see the kind of Unique personality you possess
if you scroll up you'll read my earlier comment where I said my elder brother even with 60k salary is married with two kids and they're living just fine cos the wife is gainfully employed too.
They just need to cut some expenses except she's the luxurious type and he also needs save some money for a side business while continuing the 80k job cos in this country job dey hard to find.
like you said, I feel the lady's family don't like him and they just use a flimsy excuse to discharge him.
cc pretydiva (Ugly diva) you can see the comment emanating from a lady of intellect, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Ozuor

Amen.

In fact you just further buttressed my point.

God bless you too.

Gaggii:


80k good to marry ke...hmmnn.

I earn over 100k...na me know wetin my eyes dey see.

Though I have kids already sha

Maybe you didn't plan your budget/expenses well and youre prolly living above your means.someone earning over 100k
Shouldn't be complaining if proper planning from type of housing, number of children, the kind of school they attend was put in place from the beginning. It all boils down to planning and living within our means.

If u are below 32 dont bother getting married.

Reason is,marriage will worsen ur problem and poverty will further wreck u both physically and mentally.

As the matter is now,what u need most is not an emotional laden women but a working class women so as to improve ur income.

Alternatively,u could as well suspend marriage for another five years if u are less than 31 so that by age 35,u must have saved aggressively in other to invest in some stuffs.


Do not say u have invested so much in that relationship else u might be settling for the worst. In this age and time,love without money is miserable and can kill faster than otapiapia.

Let me use myself as an example:
I was born into poverty,in fact my father worked as a security man for 22 years to ensure we all went to school. Although those days were better compared to this period.

During this time my mum was a complete house wife which I would never advice any woman except if her husband is rich.

To cut the long story short,after school i moved out of the house and i secured a bank job where i was earning a meagre #49,000 as salary and that later changed to #80,000 before I moved away from that job to another one.
However, when i met my wife i ensured she must be working because i was and still the bread winner of my family,and we moved on got married after 6 years our hard work and combined efforts paid off that we can boost of cash and asset worth 40million.

That is because both of us leverage on our jobs to create additional income streams...of which that is what u should be focusing on and not on a woman that isn't doing anything. Except for the rich who can afford to marry a liability as a wife.

At 37 I can afford to pay 250k termly for my children school fees without even touching my salary.

Warning:
To those who might perceived this as a means to boost my ego,pls disregard as it is just a piece of advice to encourage a brother.



That family will even wreck u before ur time,marry a working class. Love will disappear when u dont do the right thing.

Wish u the best.

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

I am interested too.
Pse sending a PM

Sunshyne200:



I am interested too.
Pse sending a PM

I replied you already

You better be happy My bro who graduated two years ago just found a job of 35k and managing it Still searching though

pansophist:


But our mother understood their traditional responsibilities na, that is the difference. They washed plate, prepared pounded yam, babysit, were submissive, respected, and honored him, and even was happy being the fifth wife. That is your answer.

And who told you we don't want that too?


We'd take that over this stress we're going through just to be called an adult. We'll take everything on this table except the notion of fifth wife sha ooh.

We don't like sharing our man with other women. Shouldn't you guys be aware of this by now?

Ebenezer2021:
the point is that you should also contribute to the marriage and stop being a leech

Which contribution did our grandmother's make except having kids, managing the home front and being submissive? We can do that as well.

Did they have to take up jobs and businesses to support the home? Wasn't that entirely resting on the man?

I guess she just using that as an excuse to hinder the marriage..Was she not aware of ur income before saying yes to ur proposal?

FanOfMyself:
I can teach you web development

Interested bro

You are the first man in the world who has escaped a stray bullet and still complaining

Lights up my kpoli in peace

Afikoo:
.

She has always been understanding. And we have plans to improve ourselves especially on the skills she is learning.
We have invested so much in Thai relationships and leaving it now is just heartbreaking for me not to talk of her

ok now go and kill yourself

this is life...you don't always have everything...just keep praying and keep pushing.....
you can check my signature sha

If u can tell me what state u are in I might be able to give u advise

Chummynoni:
Take yur time bro. If she is meant for you,she will stay wit u no matter what. If i share my story, you wud know that what is yours wud always be yurs no matter the circumstance.

Share the story 'cos my situation worst the op own

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Im gonna go straight to the point, Congratulation for taking this bold step to be a man, Now it's great that you know your self worth, stick to it, do not let anyone bully you into what you cannot handle, it is a wife you want to marry not a commodity you want to purchase.If the family are giving you stress, tell your fiancee that the whole situation is getting hot that you would like to take a breather and observe things from a safe distance, Watch out how everyone will change. Do not force yourself to think you have failed, the most important thing is you got hope and future everything else na Jara.if you to be wife can't see this then she is not the one.Be a man and be bold to make things happen the way you want after all you are the one who is going to spend and pay for the marriage not them.

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Sorry I had to quote you but you should be grateful God used her and her family to open you eyes. In this present situation, no man should get involved with a lady who isn't working/earning. You were almost doomed to living the subpar life.

I sincerely wouldn't say 80k is enough to conveniently run a home but it might be different if she is working or earning as well, at least that way, you both could join resources.

I'd say you cleanly dodged a bullet here. Don't condemn yourself to the struggling life. It isn't worth it. If she isn't earning or working, then she isn't suitable for you in this present situation the country is in. Be grateful you dodged this bullet. Don't just allow yourself get bullied.

Afikoo:


Of course I have suspended it.

I am working earning 80k. I need more. I have tried.
That's the last kart of my tweet comes in place.

How can one get out of this average life. I need a better job

/
N80k is enough. How many people dey see N80k sef? So if you marry her, come get small challenge as life happens, she go japa. No go kill yourself trying to impress her with income. If N80k is not enough, N500k will not be enough bc she will adjust her lifestyle like person wey her husband dey make better money.

Let her go. Ladies no scarce! She no even get work. Abi Linda Ikeji no be woman?

/

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

bros can you admit me also

She and her family are irresponsible pipu .Look here,u think if u are super rich/ well to do,those nuts will giv moronic excuses ?. God will not forgive u if u marry dat hopeless venture u call girlfriend.Free her

In Nigeria, love is measured in naira

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing this with heavy heart.
I know we have super rich people here who rose from poverty to riches.

This life isn't balance. Done with school. Been working as security administrator in my church and I earn 80k. I have been planning on getting married. Have met my fiance Parents, they were happy. I have engaged her she is happy. All of a sudden the elder brother who isn't around is angry that I haven't spoken to him about my intention. I have earlier tried his line severallly and it isn't going through. Had to chat him and he told me I am not serious that I should grow up. A bullet in my heart.

Her mum has suddenly changed and is accusing me for not calling her always.
This whole drama has gotten into my babe now she is talking about us suspending our marriage plan and try improving our income. (She is learning a skill)

I am fed up. Have suspended everything now. I have tried everything since I left school last year to improve my income. Apply for jobs here and there. Is just not cutting in.

Please, share your experience on how you were able to get out of this average life as a Nigerian.

Advise me and others still struggling to rise up.
You can recommend jobs for me.
I studied history and Diplomatic Studies.
Have some certification in Leadership and human resource. Trust me, I can deliver on anything legal. I have the capacity, but haven't gotten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

forget about her, they’ve seen a heavy spender

pretydiva:

You are the one with a very myopic and shallow way of reasoning. Your brain is so low that you couldn't decipher from op's write up that the girl is learning a skill. If you have a brain, try use it for once. It takes a leech to know one. Using people's comments to clout chase
Now that you have been noticed, now swerve.

Seriously that your initial comment was just too dumb.
I had to read it twice to be sure u actually wrote that...
How old are u sef...let's start from there...

She's honest and means well, no harm in trying to improve your income before marriage, I'm glad she is even working on herself, you guys should stand together and see what you can do

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

Please I am interested learning programming
How do we get to make this possible?

Kindly revert.

Thanks sir.

There should never be any rush to get into marriage institution...

Right now, no two individuals should try it if both are not doing financially well individually... The pains will be severe except both are hardworking, patient, focused, and non materialistic.

So Op, shelve the marriage business till each of you stand fairly well financially... Don't say you were not warned!!!

God help you if you impregnate her, and end up being forced to tie the knot... It will be an uncertain future of tears.

SocialJustice:
Look for a woman who has her own income. Nigeria of today needs both party to be bringing in money. N80k sounds big but its nothing especially with a partner that doesn't understand.

Relatively big.

OP, if you learnt how much some married men are earning per month in this country, you go know say you be some kain boss. Don't just take what everyone tells you here on Nairaland; some respondents are just kids that don't know as e dey go.

I'm not married, but I think your family won't necessarily be sofa heads with that salary, especially if you have a supportive woman and can cut your coat according to your cloth.

All the same, there is no harm in doubling your hustle as you intend. All the best!

Madam the Madam, Ngozi okonji iweala the current finance minister of NL.
Ndewo...

pretydiva:
I think you should suspend the wedding, then you both work on your income. Things are pretty hard these days
You both should be financially buoyant before venturing into marriage

No talk much... My mouth close.

yomi007k:
Brother. Go for thanksgiving.

Ripper!!! You don't pay shit to learn coding. (Udemy or Youtubes) This guy here needs fast income to deliver his crashing marriage plans not sitting at home with computer trying to learn code. That the family paused the marriage means they are sensing his incapability of taking full responsibility of he family and extended family if need be. His support caught their attention and they withdrew from the marriage plans. His brother (the woman) is the sole proprietorship of this disdained attitude of the girl.

FanOfMyself:

okay, you have a computer system? are you ready to dedicate at least 4 hours everyday to learn and practice? and finally you have to pay just a token to purchase the training courses (in video formats)? four courses to bring you from novice to intermediate level, each course will cost you 2k totaling 8k. Then I will be giving you exercises and mini projects to do after the first three courses. I will be available to answer ALL of your questions. I will link you up with other students learning under me so that you guys can stay motivated. let me know if you are in....They good thing is that you will still keep your job at least until when you have become an expert and start working full time as a software developer

Don't give that guy any shit. Get a real time job, when u settle ur finances down u can start up Coding...

FanOfMyself:

09074191547

Afikoo:
Good morning Nairalanders. I sure know you all fine.

I am writing ten the opportunity.

Patiently reading.

Improve yourself some more financially speaking before getting married. Try and marry a woman who is bringing in something as well. Only 80k will be a struggle in Nigeria of today. Her family appears a tad troublesome. No one needs that kind of drama. Above all, please pray that God's ultimate will be done in your life. Do you like HR, it sells any day

ibechris:
If u are below 32 dont bother getting married.

Reason is,marriage will worsen ur problem and poverty will further wreck u both physically and mentally.

As the matter is now,what u need most is not an emotional laden women but a working class women so as to improve ur income.

Alternatively,u could as well suspend marriage for another five years if u are less than 31 so that by age 35,u must have saved aggressively in other to invest in some stuffs.


Do not say u have invested so much in that relationship else u might be settling for the worst. In this age and time,love without money is miserable and can kill faster than otapiapia.

Let me use myself as an example:
I was born into poverty,in fact my father worked as a security man for 22 years to ensure we all went to school. Although those days were better compared to this period.

During this time my mum was a complete house wife which I would never advice any woman except if her husband is rich.

To cut the long story short,after school i moved out of the house and i secured a bank job where i was earning a meagre #49,000 as salary and that later changed to #80,000 before I moved away from that job to another one.
However, when i met my wife i ensured she must be working because i was and still the bread winner of my family,and we moved on got married after 6 years our hard work and combined efforts paid off that we can boost of cash and asset worth 40million.

That is because both of us leverage on our jobs to create additional income streams...of which that is what u should be focusing on and not on a woman that isn't doing anything. Except for the rich who can afford to marry a liability as a wife.

At 37 I can afford to pay 250k termly for my children school fees without even touching my salary.

Waning:
To those who might perceived this as a means to boost my ego,pls disregard as it is just a piece of advice to encourage a brother.



That family will even wreck u before ur time,marry a working class. Love will disappear when u dont do the right thing.

Wish u the best.

Sir Please what are some areas that you had invested into?

You've got to be positive minded. Don't be discouraged. Keep working hard and keep trusting God for a change of story. I got married some years ago on a salary less than 50k monthly. I keep pushing, and today, by the grace of God, I have my own house, landed properties etc with a very robust salary. "Persistency and tenacity of purpose will give a man his utmost desires in life"