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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. (38176 Views)
I'm Afraid Of My Girlfriend / I'm Afraid She May Woo Me / I Lost Him! What Do I DO Now Heartbroken (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Greystone: 8:37pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
LucyB24: You’ve apologized. You’ve explained. You’ve told him you love him and he has said the same to you. Let him prove it or else move on with your life. As difficult as this may sound, he isn’t irreplaceable. And if he doesn’t trust you, then he isn’t for you. Some years ago I fell for this beautiful girl that at first glance I thought was Ethiopian. Confirmed beauty. It was wen we started dating I realised there’s more to a person than what meets the eye. We eventually broke up. I thought i wud die. Na she fvck up but na me dey beg. That’s what love can do. But eventually I got over her. Met and currently dating someone as beautiful who is kind and trustworthy. I repeat no one is indispensable. NB: No send ur nudes to anyone again oh... that phone can end up in the wrong hands 10 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Karleb(m): 8:42pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
Imagine how you'd feel if he was the one that canceled the plan at such a time. He has every right to be angry and not pick your call. With time, you guys shall be alright. 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jornwhite: 8:46pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
dannex4adx: First of all,the advise i will give my sister is the same i will give any other gurl. If she is old enough to live alone she is old enough to make her decisions, or follow her heart buh never ignore her instinct as well. The issue here is Op and her suitor are both holding back, because one is not sure of the other most times people tend to feel that way when they are in love, its a reflex to protect d heart i don't react or show sumtin pain me, my gurl of 2yr+ feels maybe i don't love her now someone is reacting nd we want to discredit he loves her. 3 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by prettysassygirl(f): 9:01pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
All these reasonable advice u are getting,if you don't take them then I know u are worse than a buffalo. That guy has 0 love for you. Which responsible guy that loves you ask for nudes early in the friendship anyway?Plus just because you didnt come once he is vexing and not picking your call for days and you are still calling and blabbing "I love him" Please apply the same sense you apply in your job to your friendship with men and stop thinking like someone with a fish brain. 8 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by kambili999(f): 9:08pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
My dear, love with your head. Not your heart. If he is understanding enough, he shouldn't be holding grudges for so long especially since it wasn't entirely your fault and I assume you apologised Remove your shoes, dust them together and run dear. A better person who will love and respect you will come What guy will engage u in a sex chat if he respects you in the first place ![]() ![]() Oh please 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Nobody: 9:10pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
Don't use your own legs to Walk into your death. All the way from Abuja to meet someone you hardly know in Lagos this December when ritual is on the increase?? You don't even know why God made it flop and you're here crying you love him. Are you sure you even love him or it's because of the flight offer and other things he's flaunting before you that you're all over him like flies on poo? You better be thankful it didn't work. Who knows what would have become of you by now. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Spy360(m): 9:58pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
@LucyB4 First of all be grateful to God that you didn't go. You know very little about him yet you want to fly and see him? Probably you haven't even informed anyone or known any body related to him. I think he is a fantasy. Get to know the real him first. He working place address, church or mosque, other people he relates with on social media, that's apart from knowing some family members. If you have someone else in Lagos, let him pay them a visit. When you are traveling to meet someone for the first time, lodge in an hotel, and meet in a public place. Thank God for sparing your foolishness. The way he was angry is very suspicious. If that guy is a killer.... Just thank God. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Nobody: 10:01pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
Telling a woman "I love you" is something men do not easily say, and definitely not via internet. Just as women protect their sexual integrity by not having sex too soon, men protect their emotional integrity by not saying "i love you" too soon either. If he tells you too soon, especially when you haven't met, then chances are, he is overdosing you with word pills that will scatter your brain, afterall, women fall in love by what they hear. If he is handsome, then surely, he would have experienced with lots of women about what works and what does not. Did he send you nudes just as you sent him yours? I bet the answer is no. He didn't even paid for your ticket, but expected you to pay with your money, so if you decide not to come, the loss is in your pocket. How can you not see his game here? Listen carefully to this part, and it is that men express love by giving resources (money, phone, car etc), and women express love by sexing. If he told you that he loves you and can't even pay your flight before hand, he is lying. I understand you're under emotions and can't think straight, but I'm telling the so called guy is a gamer. You see how men rapidly comfort a random woman crying in public, and treat women like delicate flowers, so how will he ignore you for days when he knows you're hurt by his indifference? Its not man like. Men have a deep instinct to comfort a woman in distress, and especially not to be the cause of her distress. Your case is easily believable and legitimate because it is clear that you lost your flight money, making the reason for not coming to Lagos believable. You're at loss here. Also, where is the understanding in his own part? If a little issue like postponing your visit can infuriate him this much, what if something even more bigger happen if you eventually be in a committed relationship? Now bet me on this. He will come back to you. When you assume disinterest and stop contacting him, he would "forgive" you, shower you with a bit of love and try to ignite your feelings before it dies completely, in the hope that this time, you can make it to Lagos, and his plans would be accomplished. I know you won't listen, because its hard to advise a woman in love. But when he comes back, play this game with him. Tell him to come visit you, and that you'll pay for his flight when he arrives Abuja. Just reverse the game. If he thinks its fair for you to come and the flight fare reimbursed by him, then he should accept it when the table is turned around. If he refuse, then you have to kill whatever love you have for him. He doesn't have your best interest at heart. Visiting someone in a place where you have no home advantage is dangerous. Dont do it. If you refuse to have sex with him for example, then, you'll have to be strong enough to repel him if he forces his way, and also have a place elsewhere to sleep either. I'm advising you like I would do to a young sister, I only hope that you listen. Take care. 27 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Queenserah26(f): 10:06pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
dannex4adx: I concur 3 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jornwhite: 10:20pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
kambili999:. Aunty can you marry a man you're not sexually attracted to you, or a man whu does not show signs of wanting to know what you look like underneath the cloth, feel free to lie. If you are muslim borrow a bible, a woman is meant to be shown love not respect, sex don't mean love, buh love is inseparable from sex. pls grow up holy mary |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by tiwadola: 10:23pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
As u advance in age,you will have sense. .to deal with men 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by lecturer50(m): 11:05pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
LucyB24: My sister just pray that if he is your own,he will come back for you. Forget those ladies here advising you against the man. Most women are like that. They will advise you to forget the man but if they can locate the man, they will go to him secretly to say evil about you and to get the man for themselves. But here all of them will be saying things that will make you hate and forget the man. If it is they that the man is not picking their calls, they will not stop begging the man. But when it happens to another person,they will be saying terrible things and will be advising her to forget him. It is a psychological issue.They are unconsciously asking you to forget him so they can have a chance of getting him. I read psychological books on men and women behavior so I know what I'm talking about. Also I have experienced it before when a lady was advising another lady that she should forget about me that I was not worthy to marry her, that I was this, I was that. Later she met me and said evil about the other lady that she pitied any man that will marry the lady. Now she wants me to marry her after spoiling me before the other lady who later left my state after NYSC. I now know that she wanted the other lady to hands off so she could get me for herself. That was why she spoiled me before the lady. So be careful of those advising you. Another thing is that most men if they see that you are a nice girl whom they truly love, they will initially be pretending that they are offended by your actions but deep down in their hearts, they really love you. Unlike a woman who shows her love by being very friendly, so many men who loves a lady will at some point pretend that he is angry with the lady. That is one of the difference between male and female. Some time a lady can misinterpret the show of anger to mean the man does not love them. But the truth is that you are the love of his heart, that is why he is pretending as if he is angry with you. Some time,a man can see a woman he loves so much and want to have her. He starts attacking her and behaving as if he hates her.The woman will think the man hates her.But deep inside, the man is dying for her. And because women show their love by being friendly and their hatred by being unfriendly,the woman will think the man hates her when he is behaving unfriendly towards her. She won't understand how a person will love someone and at the same time be behaving unfriendly towards her. After sometime, the man will stop being unfriendly and will want to start a deep relationship with the woman or may want to marry her. He will no longer be unfriendly towards the woman. Your man may actually be madly in love with you,that is why he is behaving that way. So just pray that he is yours. If he is not yours,God will bring another man. 5 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Hotonions: 11:26pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
I don't even blame you...if I had read this post last month I would have accused you of not using your head but after going through something similar to this recently my advice to you is to leave this guy alone ooo. Apparently baba is hot stuff and is looking for better knacks (I've come to discover that guys brag about the calibre of ladies they are able to lay as if the mere fact that they've been in bed with this person adds value to their being). They'll show off your pictures to their buddies and get credit for being able to get someone as hot or as successful as you are (something they cannot get from knacking olosho ) don't allow this to be your case. he probably hurries conversations with you and wants to get to know everything about you as quickly as possible. This is because for a "decent girl" its most likely that you wont let someone you are not well acquinted with have access to your body so if getting to know you is what will make you comfortable enough with him to let him touch you then by all means tell me everything about yourself. He'll want to know everything as quickly as possible almost as if there's a deadline on his head that's a red flag, an obvious sign that he doesn't intend to have anything long term with you. Saying I love you is one thing but acting it is another. Do his actions match his words? I bet this guy hasn't invested shi shi in you. Why would he anyway knowing fully well whatever is going on isn't meant to last. Even the plane ticket is based on promises not like he actually paid o set you're still the one that is sponsoring yourself meanwhile this is someone that is supposed to be "financially stable" mtcheww If a little disappointment and he's ghosting you like this imagine how much more painful it would have been if he actually got under the sheets with thee. Use ya head 8 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by officialfestus(m): 11:42pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
account created few hours ago,just for attention. 2 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by lecturer50(m): 11:47pm On Dec 10, 2020 |
LucyB24: My sister just pray that if he is your own,he will come back for you. Forget those ladies here advising you against the man. Most women are like that. They will advise you to forget the man but if they can locate the man, they will go to him secretly to say evil about you and to get the man for themselves. But here all of them will be saying things that will make you hate and forget the man. If it is they that the man is not picking their calls, they will not stop begging the man. But when it happens to another person,they will be saying terrible things and will be advising her to forget him. It is a psychological issue.They are unconsciously asking you to forget him so they can have a chance of getting him. I read psychological books on men and women behavior so I know what I'm talking about. Also I have experienced it before when a lady was advising another lady that she should forget about me that I was not worthy to marry her, that I was this, I was that. Later she met me and said evil about the other lady that she pitied any man that will marry the lady. Now she wants me to marry her after spoiling me before the other lady who later left my state after NYSC. I now know that she wanted the other lady to hands off so she could get me for herself. That was why she spoiled me before the lady. So be careful of those advising you. Another thing is that most men if they see that you are a nice girl whom they truly love, they will initially be pretending that they are offended by your actions but deep down in their hearts, they really love you. Unlike a woman who shows her love by being very friendly, so many men who loves a lady will at some point pretend that he is angry with the lady. That is one of the difference between male and female. Some time a lady can misinterpret the show of anger to mean the man does not love them. But the truth is that you are the love of his heart, that is why he is pretending as if he is angry with you. Some time,a man can see a woman he loves so much and want to have her. He starts attacking her and behaving as if he hates her.The woman will think the man hates her.But deep inside, the man is dying for her. And because women show their love by being friendly and their hatred by being unfriendly,the woman will think the man hates her when he is behaving unfriendly towards her. She won't understand how a person will love someone and at the same time be behaving unfriendly towards her. After sometime, the man will stop being unfriendly and will want to start a deep relationship with the woman or may want to marry her. He will no longer be unfriendly towards the woman. Your man may actually be madly in love with you,that is why he is behaving that way. So just pray that he is yours. If he is not yours,God will bring another man. 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by silento(m): 1:33am On Dec 11, 2020 |
So this is how u have been cheating on me thank God u finally expose urself |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by kambili999(f): 1:38am On Dec 11, 2020 |
jornwhite:Mr jonwhite, you don't know me. Commenting on a platform like this allows everyone air their own views and opinion and if someone says something that you aren't comfy with, scroll up and if it's so pissing, u can chat the person up privately Its outrightly rude for you to tell someone you barely know to grow up. Many of you can use your phones to type rude things online but you wouldn't even dare it when u are faced with the person physically. Respect yourself and be more polite with your posts You aren't obliged or forced to quote people. Air your own opinion and move on. 5 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Chapter1vs6(m): 1:39am On Dec 11, 2020 |
that's life |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Karleb(m): 3:03am On Dec 11, 2020 |
lecturer50: Yours is one of the sanest advice I've read on this thread. So many women on this thread are STUPID. THEY ARE VERY VERY STUPID. It's funny that some men who can't think on their own are joining them in giving RUBBISH ADVICE. She had sex chats, so what?! They would have sex when she gets to Lagos, so what?! Having sex where she is and going to another place to have it, what is the difference? How many lady on this thread can swear with their vaginaa that they've not had sexx this month? I remember a day I wanted to visit 2 female friends of mine. We just knew each other then, I told them I was coming over, they told me where to stop. I got there and called their lines like 7 times, none picked. I left there angrily because to me it shows I was taken for granted. Some minutes later, they started calling my line. I picked and blasted the both of them. Apparently, they both left their phone to go get something when I got to where they told me to stop. They keep calling and I kept dropping and ignoring the call. Those were ladies I met not up to a month. Now imagine if one of them was my lover? Imagine telling your friends and family that your girl is coming over. Imagine making plans, spending money, telling friends to stay off your house just to accommodate you both only for her to cancel the plan a day or two before the day. I'm very sure this action has made the guy a laughing stock amongst his friends. Do you know how humiliating this is? Many women here has traveled to Ghana and Cotonu to collect dicck but won't allow a 24 yr old to travel from Abuja to Lagos to meet her lover. Hypocrites! 5 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Karleb(m): 3:16am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:"you just dodged a bullet" is the latest catchy phrase women use these days. I'm sure she doesn't even know the meaning. Girly, settle things with you boy. You will be alright last last. |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by DMerciful(m): 3:53am On Dec 11, 2020 |
What's the big deal in sleeping with her? Is she a virgin? Life is all about risk! There are people who were never slept with yet dumped! Have you asked her if she herself does not want to sleep with the guy more else why did she send nudes? During my dating years, a girl I took serious disappointed me exactly same way and it was a deal breaker for me because I was still trying to understand the girl and I concluded that she wasn't a serious person, I do not have time to waste. Sex is just a biological exercise, not a big deal so lady should take the risk and be with whom they wanna be with! dannex4adx: 2 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by DMerciful(m): 4:00am On Dec 11, 2020 |
When I was dating my wife...she would travel hundreds of kilometers to see me in Lagos...my crib was more comfortable besides it's not easy for a woman to accommodate a man she is not married to in her house. Why all these unnecessary fear, she only need to inform someone where she is going. mrblessed: 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Nobody: 4:56am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Reading through comments by the female folks, its obvious a whole of these females heart has been messed up, So bitter, negatively thoughtful, does it mean there are less caring nigerian men. 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by zedegit: 5:07am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:Let him be. He just revealed his character to you. You should go for thanksgiving. 1 Like |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by zedegit: 5:16am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24: It was very wrong of you to send him nudes and you have already spoilt it. How do you expect him to wife you or convince him that you're not a cheap slut who sleeps with her boss and men? He has already fantasized how he would sleep with you and that made him angry when you failed to show up. There's nothing on the table. Move on before it's too late hoping he doesn't know your work place and doesn't threaten to release those pictures. Cut him off or you will regret it. 5 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by zedegit: 5:24am On Dec 11, 2020 |
techmo: Agreed to pay isn't tenable. There's no guarantee he would. He could claim his having issues with his bank or even change it to kidnap or anything. That op may even lose more money at gun point. I think nairaland has featured such story before. |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jasman1: 5:37am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Sending a guy nude pictures will never make him love you, it may make him want to have s*x with you, period. He may still contact you just for s*x, nothing more because you killed everything with the nude pics. Looks like your job controls your life though, not cute. Good luck 5 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Mcslize: 5:42am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24: But you could have informed him on time immediately there was change of plans. That thing dey pain person wella especially when you are expecting a girl and the guy go all the way putting things in order just to make your stay worthwhile only to end up not showing up. That definitely will make anyone fumes no doubt. That's why I have stopped making prior arrangement if I am expecting any lady cuz there could be a sudden change of plans on her side. If she comes only then I will start arranging things not when she has not arrive to prevent unnecesssry expenses. What you need to do? Give him some time to cool off. I meant some days not minutes. Give him 5 to 7 days before you contact him again. He might end up contacting you during this 5 to 7 days period. Anything that makes you texting him right now he won't reply you. So follow what I said. I am a guy and I know why I am telling you to make it 5 to 7 days. You will be shocked he might contact you by himself. |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Mcslize: 5:56am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Tajbol4splend: He is angry because he has already spent money putting things in place. But of a truth anyone will feel disappointed especially when you've taken your time to arrange things in place just for the comfort of the person that is visiting. Another thought in the guy's mind is: he feels the babe was playing games with him. Like he feels she is not serious for the fact that she repeatedly asserted she was coming. And as there was change of plans, she could have informed him on time that she couldn't be able to make it. She informed him too late. That's where the whole annoyance is coming from. 2 Likes |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by RedPanthar: 6:04am On Dec 11, 2020 |
zedegit: Involving money issues early in any relationship is even a no-no. One or two arguments, it ruins or colors the relationship |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by zed7: 6:05am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Another hired writer. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by RedPanthar: 6:06am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Mcslize: A man that is mature in a mature relationship should not ghost his partner beyond 24 hours. Anything beyond 24 hours is subjecting the other party to emotional trauma and psychological trauma. If he reconnects with her, this is going to be one of the things she needs to talk with him about. She may have ticked the boxes about the guy based on physical qualities but this issue gives her the opportunity to look beneath the surface Anyone that ghosts me beyond 2 days is already considering getting out of my life. Can't tolerate people who make me worry |
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