| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by lereinter(m): 6:09am On Dec 11, 2020 |
The guy is a fool |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by RedPanthar: 6:10am On Dec 11, 2020 |
lereinter:
The guy is a fool I swear down. It's an overreaction. Not considering he's making her worried sick. The guy no try |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jornwhite: 6:57am On Dec 11, 2020 |
kambili999:
Mr jonwhite, you don't know me.
Commenting on a platform like this allows everyone air their own views and opinion and if someone says something that you aren't comfy with, scroll up and if it's so pissing, u can chat the person up privately
Its outrightly rude for you to tell someone you barely know to grow up.
Many of you can use your phones to type rude things online but you wouldn't even dare it when u are faced with the person physically.
Respect yourself and be more polite with your posts
You aren't obliged or forced to quote people.
Air your own opinion and move on. Well am sorry if i hurt you, wasnt intended ... next time i will simply ignore, thanks for the advice don"t be to sure of what i won't dare or dare remember you barely know me tew. I also notice you didnt answer any of the questions, like say truth easy I have air my opinion and your opinion is still very much intact, i think its time to move on. have a wonderful day ahead. 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jornwhite: 7:11am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Warmth:
Reading through comments by the female folks, its obvious a whole of these females heart has been messed up, So bitter, negatively thoughtful, does it mean there are less caring nigerian men. Bro, all those adjective naa long thing, they are just hypocrites. if we bring 10 olosho to these thread to comment 9 will repeat what most of these female monikers are saying. naa there way  |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by femi4: 7:59am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. Why not go on Sunday....your relationship is audio without physical meetings |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by seunak2016: 8:30am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. he can come to your place in Abuja, it's no big deal. people do stuff like that 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by hustla(m): 8:45am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LOOOL he's not the calling type and disappears for days
That guy has a serious relationship somewhere.. This one jus deh deceive insef 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by johnhood(m): 8:48am On Dec 11, 2020 |
bjprodint:
Aunty pls stop calling him,face ur work,if he is urs,he will get intouch with u when he is calm And how will that happen? |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Austinosconst: 8:51am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Ladies will never learn. You want to visit a guy you barely know. What if he's a kidnapper or a ritualist. Please read the story of Cynthia Osukogu and learn something from it. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Noblewealth(m): 8:54am On Dec 11, 2020 |
hashtagged:
Why do ladies send nudes when you know it can be used against you my stance tho, It doesn't make any sense at all whether the face is shown or not.. Don't engage in it.. I don't know why many of them don't learn from others mistakes not ontil they fall victims too... |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Blackpearlous(f): 8:57am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. Sorry dear.. If you want him back stop reaching out to him. Wait for him to reach out. When he reaches out make sure you take a while before can access you. And keep it simple, apologise and explain with adding all the story of I wanted to die when I couldn't reach you. Mirror his energy, if he says he misses you, say it exactly the same way, if without excitement, do the same. Prepare your mind to move on, of he doesn't make effort to continue your love. If he really loves you, he won't make you hurt for that long because he will be miserable that you will be hurt too. And also if you guys marry you will have issues is this how he will handle it. Person wey dey practice for marriage handles things maturely. |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by ehix89(m): 8:58am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. Have you heard about the infamous "Yoruba Demon"  1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by CoolVoice(m): 8:59am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Few things didn't add up.. You couldn't call him on such important information .. only excuse is that you were too tired.. that line didn't add up at all.
Analysing your own data.. It sounded like you have someone in Abuja you decided to spend that Friday Evening (pass the night) with after work and you will not be free to talk and then secondly you're not sure if you want to Replace this Lagos guy with the one in Abuja yet.
Summary: All I see is indecision. So I guess what you're actually trying to ask us is, who should you go with. (In your story their is someone in Abuja but it's silent in your narration) 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by OJURONGBE1(m): 8:59am On Dec 11, 2020 |
RedPanthar:
The work end is where the first fixing should begin. Do this, and you will come back to testify :
1. Buy a ring and place it on your engagement finger. Make sure you only wear it where your boss would see it and watch your boss's reaction. You've been too germane and bland that you don't see your work callous during the weekend are specifically designed so you don't cultivate a relationship. I swear my hat on it you'll come back and say I said. So. Wear a ring and ensure your boss sees you flaunting it more than a few times.
2. Even when there's a heavy workload start asking for weekend breaks ahead before you'll be asked to work and again watch your bones reaction. The goal is to buy yourself space. As you play these games watch your boss's reactions
3. Pick your boss's calls less faster, less frequently. It's a masterstroke game to steal your availability from him and disorientation him from always assuming you're his go-go person he can summon whenever he pleases. All of thus is to stir things nd shake things up at the work end albeit subtly
4. Buy new clothes even if it's just two and try to put them on weekend or Fridays. Thus is to make them assume at work that whenever it's weekend they're disrupting your dates to force them psychologically to not call you upon demand. Make sure it's clothes they don't seem to see you frequently wear. Wear these and make sure you're gorgeous on weekend. The dressing that will make them ask why are you this elegant. Reply them on such occasions you were out on a date but since work demands were up you had to call it shut. Guilt trip their brains out and control the narrative at work
Now for the guy :
5. Love thrives in an atmosphere where there's a mutual resistant to beat. Now, paint the narrative to your guy that your boss seems to be against you both, and that's why he wants you occupied weekend and that you both would suffer. By making " the perception of your boss as the enemy ", you created a villain that makes the masculine willpower to fight in your guy rises up. Guess what else you'll get in advance, emotional support against when such arises again. Now, use this advantage to pull put his emotions and psyche to pull him out. When thus is done, you both have a common enemy or vision or objective and you can both use this to your advantage to bond and all. Be smart.
6. Force breaks at work
7. Pay him surprise visits
8. Be more frequent with video calls
9. Plan your meetings for Sundays. Relationships without physical contact will not stand the test of time
10. As a man he should do the visiting first especially at this beginning stage
Give him space and reach out to him. Relationships don't just end that fastly. No, it doesn't
He's hurting. Let him process his emotions. And when he reaches the place of thought that he wants to be with you inspite of what happened, he will establish contact.
You'll be fine
Although, you made some salient points but you're indirectly setting her up to get fired from her job unless her role is so important that she's irreplaceable. 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by spiceadole: 9:01am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
@redpanthar
I can't pay him surprise visits because I don't know exactly where he stays. I've never visited him before. He lives in Lagos and I live in Abuja. All I know is that he stays somewhere in Lekki.
He isn't responding to any of my calls and texts.
I tried telling my boss that I had an engagement on Saturday but he refused because I had already taken two days off a week before due to ill health, and the project required my specialty. No one else at the office had the skill set to handle the project like I could and there was a deadline. You had sex with a guy you don't know where he lives and you call yourself decent.... You don't love him. Na the sex dey pain you. You don't wanna feel used 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by hismerhill(m): 9:01am On Dec 11, 2020 |
RedPanthar:
The work end is where the first fixing should begin. Do this, and you will come back to testify :
1. Buy a ring and place it on your engagement finger. Make sure you only wear it where your boss would see it and watch your boss's reaction. You've been too germane and bland that you don't see your work callous during the weekend are specifically designed so you don't cultivate a relationship. I swear my hat on it you'll come back and say I said. So. Wear a ring and ensure your boss sees you flaunting it more than a few times.
2. Even when there's a heavy workload start asking for weekend breaks ahead before you'll be asked to work and again watch your bones reaction. The goal is to buy yourself space. As you play these games watch your boss's reactions
3. Pick your boss's calls less faster, less frequently. It's a masterstroke game to steal your availability from him and disorientation him from always assuming you're his go-go person he can summon whenever he pleases. All of thus is to stir things nd shake things up at the work end albeit subtly
4. Buy new clothes even if it's just two and try to put them on weekend or Fridays. Thus is to make them assume at work that whenever it's weekend they're disrupting your dates to force them psychologically to not call you upon demand. Make sure it's clothes they don't seem to see you frequently wear. Wear these and make sure you're gorgeous on weekend. The dressing that will make them ask why are you this elegant. Reply them on such occasions you were out on a date but since work demands were up you had to call it shut. Guilt trip their brains out and control the narrative at work
Now for the guy :
5. Love thrives in an atmosphere where there's a mutual resistant to beat. Now, paint the narrative to your guy that your boss seems to be against you both, and that's why he wants you occupied weekend and that you both would suffer. By making " the perception of your boss as the enemy ", you created a villain that makes the masculine willpower to fight in your guy rises up. Guess what else you'll get in advance, emotional support against when such arises again. Now, use this advantage to pull put his emotions and psyche to pull him out. When thus is done, you both have a common enemy or vision or objective and you can both use this to your advantage to bond and all. Be smart.
6. Force breaks at work
7. Pay him surprise visits
8. Be more frequent with video calls
9. Plan your meetings for Sundays. Relationships without physical contact will not stand the test of time
10. As a man he should do the visiting first especially at this beginning stage
Give him space and reach out to him. Relationships don't just end that fastly. No, it doesn't
He's hurting. Let him process his emotions. And when he reaches the place of thought that he wants to be with you inspite of what happened, he will establish contact.
You'll be fine
May God bless you sir. Me I know say reasonable people dey this forum, they only comment when necessity requires. God bless once more |
|
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Owerri1stSon: 9:03am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. That guy wan F*ck you na why he dey vex say you no see am for weekend |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Greenishland(f): 9:03am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Girls of nowadays are no longer scared of ritualists or yahoo plus guys. You want to travel to Lekki to sleep with a stranger. What if you don't live to tell the story? 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Sheriman(m): 9:04am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
My face wasn't visible. Which kind of women are we having during our time for God sake?? A lady have the guts to send her nude picture to a strange guy just because of stupid love. Has your new lover send his own too?? Please don't do that again it's of no good to you for now and for the future. Unexpectedly, things could turn around 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by SocialJustice: 9:04am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
@redpanthar
I can't pay him surprise visits because I don't know exactly where he stays. I've never visited him before. He lives in Lagos and I live in Abuja. All I know is that he stays somewhere in Lekki.
He isn't responding to any of my calls and texts.
I tried telling my boss that I had an engagement on Saturday but he refused because I had already taken two days off a week before due to ill health, and the project required my specialty. No one else at the office had the skill set to handle the project like I could and there was a deadline. The world is a crazy place, do not be desperate. You do not know that guy well enough and trust hasn't been established. Sending your nude was a big mistake. Girls will never learn. He probably sees you as an expensive working class olosho now, I said probably. The most important thing now is to establish trust with him. You both have to agree when A is said, it is A and not B. If you can't establish this, please let him go. All the sweet attributes you can see at the moment will vaporise when trust based troubles start. Be wise. 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Lovinghauwa: 9:06am On Dec 11, 2020 |
My sister I've been in this kind of your shoe before, very similar story in that Abuja too. Just move on, no man that loves you will keep you guessing. I know it's hard but just try, I saw clear signs but kept second guessing. Self respect is very key. He probably has a serious relationship elsewhere or just flings. I learnt the hard way because that was my first heartbreak, I tried as much to run away from Abuja guys but you know love makes you vulnerable and I ended up being shattered. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by afbstrategies: 9:07am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. Well, I agree with you that you may have lost this guy. You seem like a hardworking girl but everything is not about working hard, sometimes you should find time for yourself and others. Why didn't you politely offer another date to your boss to do the job or assignment? You should keep reaching out to him but learn to take others a little more seriously sha. |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Bestboy11513(m): 9:08am On Dec 11, 2020 |
You bleeped up big time. |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by TGM2015: 9:09am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
How? You have been saved from impending doom and possibly eternal regrets. Thank God for your Boss and forget the guy. Meanwhile, you need to work on your work and boss so that you will have time for yourself. If at all you don't have prospective life partners to visit, try visiting you parents, sisters and brothers. You may also need those time for self reflections; life and career planning; physical, educational, and spiritual development; etc. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by pocohantas(f): 9:11am On Dec 11, 2020 |
Kondomatic:
How do you know all these?
You concluded like you know the guy personally, like you've had a personal experience with him.
Do you even know how cheap sex is these days? Why go through all these just to have sex if sex is the only thing he wants? The babe said they've been chatting for some time so she knows the guy enough.
I have had someone visit me from Facebook.
Lodged her in a hotel. Passed the night in same room with her yet nothing happened. The world maybe mad but everyone isn't evil. Kondo Kondo! If I were single, I for marry you. Be like you never touch anybody before. Anyway, you both made your points. His intentions may or may not be noble. However, his anger is not out of place. I’ll be angry too and it is not about sex, but the plans I have put in place. Probably cleared my calendar for a few days. I’ll only express my anger differently. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by BBBmall25: 9:11am On Dec 11, 2020 |
RedPanthar:
The work end is where the first fixing should begin. Do this, and you will come back to testify :
1. Buy a ring and place it on your engagement finger. Make sure you only wear it where your boss would see it and watch your boss's reaction. You've been too germane and bland that you don't see your work callous during the weekend are specifically designed so you don't cultivate a relationship. I swear my hat on it you'll come back and say I said. So. Wear a ring and ensure your boss sees you flaunting it more than a few times.
2. Even when there's a heavy workload start asking for weekend breaks ahead before you'll be asked to work and again watch your bones reaction. The goal is to buy yourself space. As you play these games watch your boss's reactions
3. Pick your boss's calls less faster, less frequently. It's a masterstroke game to steal your availability from him and disorientation him from always assuming you're his go-go person he can summon whenever he pleases. All of thus is to stir things nd shake things up at the work end albeit subtly
4. Buy new clothes even if it's just two and try to put them on weekend or Fridays. Thus is to make them assume at work that whenever it's weekend they're disrupting your dates to force them psychologically to not call you upon demand. Make sure it's clothes they don't seem to see you frequently wear. Wear these and make sure you're gorgeous on weekend. The dressing that will make them ask why are you this elegant. Reply them on such occasions you were out on a date but since work demands were up you had to call it shut. Guilt trip their brains out and control the narrative at work
Now for the guy :
5. Love thrives in an atmosphere where there's a mutual resistant to beat. Now, paint the narrative to your guy that your boss seems to be against you both, and that's why he wants you occupied weekend and that you both would suffer. By making " the perception of your boss as the enemy ", you created a villain that makes the masculine willpower to fight in your guy rises up. Guess what else you'll get in advance, emotional support against when such arises again. Now, use this advantage to pull put his emotions and psyche to pull him out. When thus is done, you both have a common enemy or vision or objective and you can both use this to your advantage to bond and all. Be smart.
6. Force breaks at work
7. Pay him surprise visits
8. Be more frequent with video calls
9. Plan your meetings for Sundays. Relationships without physical contact will not stand the test of time
10. As a man he should do the visiting first especially at this beginning stage
Give him space and reach out to him. Relationships don't just end that fastly. No, it doesn't
He's hurting. Let him process his emotions. And when he reaches the place of thought that he wants to be with you inspite of what happened, he will establish contact.
You'll be fine
All this just because of one puna
1 Like 
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| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Maobichek: 9:12am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
What do you mean? Good morning, I understand your plight but I must tell you the truth, distance affects relationship, there should be physical meetings. Also, from what you said, you don't know this guy oh, not because you heard Lekki, just be yourself, ask questions when he comes back OK. Finally, it's better that you are in a relationship with someone you can see at will cos of your job schedule and it will also afford you to know the person more and avoid the story that touches the heart OK. 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by InvertedHammer: 9:12am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in AbujaI... One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before.
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. / A picture of the nude you sent him or I don't believe this story.  / 1 Like |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by yesloaded: 9:13am On Dec 11, 2020 |
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.
There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.
I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.
Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.
Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.
Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..
I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case. It will do you good if you keep calm & let things happen itself in natura way You seems not know the difference between love and infatuation Stop looking out for beards, six pack, tall, & all unnecessary things as qualities of a man of your dream You are not young to have a man but if you're beautiful, I am sure that more than 10 men are after you with genuine love but they don't possess all those rubbish qualities you want in a man of your dream Calm down and don't put yourself into something that will lead you into state of depression |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Sunnydoo: 9:13am On Dec 11, 2020 |
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death Prov 14:12.
Your story is just interesting but in reality, it's a big time gamble. You don't gamble with your life. It's too precious.
Let go of the relationship.
Accept Christ into your life and let Him reset it. You will be glad you did. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Maobichek: 9:15am On Dec 11, 2020 |
hashtagged:
Why do ladies send nudes when you know it can be used against you Men send nude pics also, infact 98% of ladies will see your nude pics first before sending theirs OK. |
