izzou:


How can a mother be angry that her daughter's boyfriend didn't bring a gift to visit her?

Can you please tell us what part of Igbo culture makes it mandatory for a boyfriend to bring some offering to his girlfriend's mother anytime she visits

As for the op, she needs to stay single for a while. She does not even have a mind of her own

Mariangeles:


It didn't seem to me like she was angry angry...



Not mandatory, but out of courtesy.



She made a mistake, and I believe she's learned from comments here.
She deserves a chance to make amends and settle things with her fiance.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Graxie:
Please don't marry him, he will always hate your mom. You did wrong by telling him what your mom said. It wasn't his first time and he didn't go empty the first time. Your mom is greedy.

Trayceey:
My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around. When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink. Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up. Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Deffjam:
she should not marry him? Haba aunty? Haba mana?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

seanwilliam:
she got more than she bargained. The guy she quoted is very loaded .. I don’t know him personally though but we get ‘hangout spot’ on nairaland



The girl is from a very broke family or family with poverty mentality..

izzou:


I'm Igbo, and i think it has to do with the family itself

The guy even wanted to visit her mum despite the fact that she wasn't around. Very thoughtful, if you ask me

Yet, dem wan pursue am because e no buy gift come.

Trayceey:
My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around. When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink. Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up. Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Mariangeles:

Tell that to those who want your "materials"



He didn't do anything wrong, but he did something shameful according to Igbo culture. Ihe ihere.

And no, culture can not be left out when it involves your in-laws.

J111333:
The matter tire me aswear.

The woman even complained of the drink she offered the dude and the daughter quickly called her bobo to hala, nawa. If I were in the dude's shoes, that would probably be our last phone call.

This kind future wife and mum in law, ike gwuru.

Trayceey:
My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around. When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink. Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up. Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Mariangeles:
[s]How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.
[/s]

SweetCunt97:
But you know it ain't cool to go see an intending in law empty handed nwokem. The lady no wise though

TransAtlanticEx:
Swears
I always tell people to avoid poor women as much as possible,it's for reason like this.
Personally I'd rather die single than have anything to do with this class of women.
Bread for that matter,Ha!

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

GayPontiff:




E dey pain me pass say all these rubbish is given with the excuse that we are Africans and gift must be presented. Who enacted that stupid law?

God punish every idiiiiot that keeps dragging this race backward with their backwardness.

The guy should treat them with a ten ft pole onwards.
They don't deserve him at all.

J111333:
My dear, that was just an ordinary hello visit. He didn't go there with elders, neither was it the first time he visited.

The first time, yes I will go there with probably a bottle of wine for her dad and on my way out, share some money to the kids around. I also will give some money to her mum if they are not financially comfortable. I say this because I see giving cash to financially comfortable people as insulting.

Other times, I may buy some beverages and I may not. It's not mandatory and it depends on my relationship with the intending mum in law. I won't want to give the impression that I'm trying to buy her consent.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

SweetCunt97:
OH OK. Thought it's iku aka. She sha no do am well. Hope it won't spoil d relationship sha if so, na her mumsy cause am.