eastOFwest:


There are many things that will make a woman lose interest in sex after marriage -

1) More responsibilities and things to worry about like taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, taking of her husband, her job etc. By the time she gets to bed, she's so tired that all she needs is someone to rub her back and bum so that she can fall asleep.

2) Relationship issues like petty quarrels with her husband, pointless little arguments that wear people out, back biting etc. The trigger for these arguments or quarrels could be infidelity, money etc.

3) Husband growing bigger and slower in bed that makes sex boring, and not something to look forward to but an obligation.

4) She has body image issues and feels that she is no longer sexy again because she has grown larger and slower. Her husband probably has made some unpleasant comments regarding this either during quarrel or jokingly

5) No romantic effort from the husband to put her in the mood. Saying "oya now" to her in bed with erect d1ck is not romantic.

6) Over familiarity with her husband. Almost "brother and sister" type closeness in a marriage that relegates sex to last on the list.

7) She is probably getting it somewhere else? It's amazing how most people think this is the issue but it's only a small percentage of women who actually resort to this. Most women will just lose interest in sex and carry on as if it doesn't really matter. However this could be dangerous and could lead to situations where a man who has access to her, and who is able to decode that she's sex starved, can take advantage of her by making a "bold move". This is where you hear "one thing led to another" and next thing them dey knack person wife inside toilet, for office, inside car, backyard, inside boys quarters with house boy or gate man etc.

She just wanted to get married so she was giving sex on demand, and even pretending that she was enjoying it but now that she has married and aim achieved, no need to pretend.

All in all, remember that, as a young single girl, most women only had to worry about themselves and had all the time in the world to look and feel sexy. Most of them did not live with their fiancé so had space to actually long for them. Also while dating/wooing, the man went out his way to make her feel good (romantic gestures, gifts, clubbing, restaurants, weekend get away etc) but now that they are married those things are not happening again for various reasons.

Also for the person who said he wants to marry a nympho, be careful what you wish for. Remember that as a young single man you have the ability to fvck all day long. But after marriage things will change, you'll grow older (and probably slower) and your wife (after kids and probably getting bigger, and not really having the time to look sexy) might not have the same effect on you as she had before even though you still love her. So who will be satisfying her extra large sexual appetite and strong sexual urges/cravings?

Everything is because she wasn't sexually attracted to the man b4 getting married

She just wanted to settle down with the beta man all because he's ready for marriage and he's financially stable, but the sexual attraction is not there

Hassanmaye:

Hmm that gender you can never please them, know this and have peace, I have been there

I am there too bro

alizma:

I am there too bro

Tell me more

Teleprompter:
I think it is the law of demand and supply that is mostly at play.

After marriage, it becomes so much more available to a woman.

Can you through more light on your last paragraph?
What becomes so much more available to a woman after marriage?

Mindlog:


Just know that Nymphomania is a mental disorder.

NYMPHO

some women see sex as pleasure...while some see sex as stressful work....

polygamy is not by force it a necessity. It is there to solve so many societal problems. Non of of the prophets of God preached against it. Men with single wife are more likely to die young now compare to our grandfather. The old generations that come from polygamy were successful than the new generations of nowadays because our mothers Xfactors . Most of our leaders were from polygamous family and there better off. Polygamy is for men anyway is not for women because all women are born to relegate men to nothing at any fucking time especially when you're old. However, money is not the key in keeping family because with only one man, one woman and one child, you're not guaranteed automatic success. Let keep in mind that polygamy is to rescue our society from diseases, adultery, fornication, DNA test, infidel, bad belle to other mankind, immorality e.t.c. Imagine those countries that we copy, they change women like cloth and fornicate at will (e.g. Homosexual). Now, let imagine of those countries that practice polygamy to ours... They are far away better off.

Don't let us be misinformed, polygamy is not for half baked men of nowadays who is more like a woman or children.

RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

Oga u have said it all.

bizme:
To
1.) Good one.
2.) I believe that effectively moderates how one should take your advice. You are not a practicing polygamist, you have not been one and you are unlikely to know for sure if polygamy is the solution to the point being raised.
3.) Actually, it's not a myth, it's very recent history and many with old parents or grandparents will readily corroborate the main gist of my submission. It has nothing to do with feminism. A man that feels the need to be defensive in the face of feminism and using polygamy to do that, is actually a weak man. A real man logically assesses his situation and evolves an intervention, not because of some feministic ideology but in spite of it as though it never existed in the first place.
4.) And no, it is fallacy and not fact. You are generally not allowed to elevate an opinion to the level of a fact.

Some of us don't mind waiting for you to try out polygamy as a solution to deprioritization of sex by women post-wedding; then we can see if your advice is the solution. :-) Right now, you are not qualified to enthrone a suggestion you haven't tested to the pedestal you are placing it on.

Very mature responses without any abusive words typical of most replies to mentions in NAIRALAND.

A lot of factors in which stress is the major one.

Check out this thread on nairaland to know some of the things you truly need as a married couple.

https://www.nairaland.com/6307247/when-say-lady-loose-vagina

RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.

I read your assertion... you can't be more correct in this... you are absolutely right...

I have asked questions about who made the rule of one man one woman... they said GOD.. they sad bible lol... also did bible condemn polygamy in any way... we have examples of great men in the bible who are polygamous.. I tell my wife with all due respect.. if i chose to marry morethan one.. no one can question me.. and i am not giving anyone a divorce.

My major contribution as the husband is to make sure everybody in my home feel protected and grows in there various life endeavors.

But as a man... you need to understand human purposes... before even trying to walk with any even being as a friend.

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

Good opinion there, coming from a woman cos they wear the shoes n know where it pinches.

StacyO:
A lot of factors in which stress is the major one.

One look at ya profile shows say you go gimme big stress...


See all those long ass Epistles you wrote na

nineone:
your first claim is completely incorrect. Would have been true if men enjoy or love sex more than women but it's entirely not so.

And this post made a completely false claim which the opposite is even correct.

Women enjoy sex, but it is more valuable to them as currency to buy commitment. And the fact that sex reduces drastically post marriage; except in very rare cases, and practically always because the wife doesn't want it as often; proves that they may not like it as often as men do. Most husbands are willing to have sex everyday. It would be a rare wife who would accommodate that for any prolonged period of time.

crackhaus:

I didn't know you knew me so well

innovestor:


Do not assume all cases are like Nollywood movie as you described.

I have two "house helps" to manage chores at home and manage the kids, yet the OP's assertion is still rife. I guess you are not married. Probably you could have given an answer from experience.

How do you know am not married?

To each its own. Sometimes women tends to hold sex when they are not satisfied. You don't come and hump and go like. She's a horse without feelings. Treat her like the Queen she is and You will see her eat you in bed......

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

It all begins with the basic needs of both partners in a marriage. A man's primary need in a relationship is sex while a woman requires affection, most times the amount of sex a man gets is dependent on the amount of affection the woman gets. This theory can be disregarded if the relationship has been based on finance from the beginning. So when a man is trying to get a woman he goes through heaven and earth to please her, he showers her with affection, gifts, his time, money etc when he gets married to her, she becomes a piece of property to him. The woman simply wants the things that made her agree to be with the man in the first place her affection bank account has been severely depleted hence the desire to be with the man is somewhat not enticing.

Another thing is that the coming of children changes the dynamics of a marriage, improper planning for the results that follow can be detrimental to the relationship. Most men tend to leave all the responsibility of caring for the children and the home to the women, some don't even deem it fit to hire help for their wives. so a severely tired woman who goes to work cares for her home cares for her husband and kids won't want to have sex at night cause that's probably the only time she can rest.

While some other women have health issues like low libido.

funny how I love and same time disagree with your comment... making sense, but I disagree..

RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have an



ything to do with changing biology?

No need to trouble your self on the woman, if she stop making sex,find omoolosho

Orlasunkanmy:


NYMPHO

It is the shortened form of Nymphomania.

Both nymphomania (female) and satyriasis (male) are grouped under hypersexuality.

Many times, even the men are the cause. You stopped all the things you usually did with her when you were newly married. Besides, pre-marital sex is also a huge contributor. When you guys were not married, you were so busy f..king the hell out of each other. Now you are exhausted, after you have legitimized the union. This is very wrong, and should stop. You don't take a car home for testing, before paying for it, so why are you demanding sex from him/her before solemnisation? The Bible says, "Marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled"; Heb 13:4. If we had been doing the right thing this issue wouldn't have become a global pandemic.

omoharry:
if the woman is a house wife, then no wahala but if she also goes to work to provide for the home too then you are very very unreasonable and you deserve to be alone and hire a house help who you can screw and order around .Ok?

LoL that's quite funny, but that's works better. I don't even know the essence of marriage self, humans with a lot of social construct and abstraction. What does a man really gains from getting married, that can't be gotten outside of marriage? That's the question?

dave234:




No need to trouble your self on the woman, if she stop making sex,find omoolosho

Abi now, those one's won't tire ur pocket and give weird excuse on the other hand no try though, not cause religion

stanliwise:

Mumu advise, after all the horrors of polygamy I have witnessed from observations alone, person with right senses in this modern time would still go ahead and start a polygamous home. Las las na the children go suffer am.

Polygamy is not for everyone. If you're a weak man, I wouldn't advice you to go for it. Also, there are rules you must adhere to. If you don't know them, stay out. But as a system, it is very viable. Virtually all societies have developed to accept polygamy as a norm; with the exception of the ancient Greeks and Romans from where monogamy was imported into Western culture, and from there to Africa.

RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.

This is great!!!

Hassanmaye:

Your last statement

Don't mind me, no research conducted to arrive at that. Just trying to drive home my point

Sex for most women after marriage is seen as a chore and no longer a hobby

RisenPhoenix1:


That is only because you have been exposed to a barrage of misinformation from all sides; Hollywood, Nollywood, relationship advice, etc. If you had voiced out your doubts about polygamy to your grandfather, he would have probably laughed out loud in your face and told you stories about the advantages. That is when men were men and knew that they were all cut out for polygamy (or they were considered effeminate).

Communicate away bro, communicate away. You asked for solutions and I told you what works. But you are free to try out what you like for as long as you want to. Just remember the only working solution; for when you have to get back to it at last.

The Time Now Is Entirely Different From That Of Our Father's And Grand Father's, So Inessence Marryin' More Than One Woman Is Greed And Would Only Complicate Matters For You In The Long Run Due To Your Insatiable Wants. Sex Is A Need But When You Feel It Has Become A Want You Will Just Have To Expect The Resultant Effect Of It. I Wouldn't Be Proud To Give Birth To Children And Abandon Them Like Rodents, Because That Is Typical Of Any Polygamous Man And Family, Since You Said Earlier Too That You Gonna Pretend To Love Them All. So Lemme Ask You A Quick Question; Can You Love More Than One Person?? Please Be Sincere To Yourself

Hassanmaye:

Lol how do you know that

From experience and undocumented research

Sex is a necessity in every marriage. Without adequate sex, there might be friction in that marriage. So invariably , sex is a lubricant that keeps marriage running. Without it, marriage can be knocked- out. So women should develop reasonable interest in sex after marriage while men should also endeavour to exhibit so much love towards their wives in order for peace and joy to reign in the home. Conclusively, there is no reason why a woman should deny her husband sex whenever he needs it, it is not healthy for the marriage.

Darlyton:
funny how I love and same time disagree with your comment... making sense, but I disagree..

Lol. I understand, it is difficult to get rid of years of indoctrination. Always open your mind to reason, and not to what you've been forced to accept as truth. If something makes sense to you, and you still don't accept it, there's a flaw in your way of thinking. Get rid of it. I really don't mean that as an insult, so please don't take offence. I mean it as life advice. When you get rid of bias, prejudice, and unreasonable 'truths', the world really opens up to you, and your life becomes full of options.