₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
You are very much an advocate for housewives.

1. How long should this be? For life?
2. Where do you place the woman's ambitions? Or you believe she should have none?
3. Do you believe women should go to the university? Further to masters etc.?

I admire your stance on family welfare; you are traditional to the core... The husband provides and the wife keeps the home. No having one's cake and eating it like typical NLers who believe a wife should contribute to the finances/ work outside the home and still be fully responsible for the domestics.

It's not as simple as you might have put it. But I'm obviously a conservative.

I believe a woman's first call is her home. Irrespective of the changing times, the office or wherever one makes his income is a warzone. It is precarious for family when both parents are at the warfront simultaneously trying to make ends meet.

Sometimes it can't be helped but it's the children who suffer the neglect and ill-exposure such arraignment brings.


A wife is free to pursue her own ambition when her children have attained a manageable age. No woman really likes to be idle. But a true wife always finds fulfillment in helping her husband fulfill his dreams. A true wife finds her dreams even up to 90% entwined with her husband's.

Women should attain education to the highest level if it falls within their interest.

If she's the career-first and family-second type of woman, she best get a husband who shares same value genuinely. But keep in mind that men are generally easy preys to homely and domesticated women.

Just about every profession needs a female professional, especially when it involves evasive procedures that gender sensitive people may find offensive.

eyinjuege:
OP, you have come with your copy and paste attitude.
You lifted this off the internet word for word, and you couldn't even put the link.Not only are you a confirmed gigolo, you also steal other people's sweat, without giving credit. Do you think that will make you look smart and intelligent?
Not one single bone of honesty and integrity in you. No single originality.
Shame really.
Anyway, I will do the needful, and give credit to the unique individual who sat down, took her time, energy and resources to write this from her heart.
Kudos Cathy Meyer - Cathy is a Master Certified Relationship Coach and certified Marriage Educator. She is also the Managing Editor of DivorcedMoms.com. For 11 years, Cathy was the About.com Expert to Divorce Support where she covered all aspects of the divorce process. And in her spare time she blogs for the Divorce vertical of Read More


https://divorcedmoms.com/what-is-it-about-marriage-that-causes-women-such-discontent/

Irrespective of our ideological difference in respect to the subject of discourse, I choose to concentrate on our shared value -- our common dislike for the OP and his intellectual dishonesty and fraud.


To that I must celebrate you.

2buffagain:
A lot of women these days are also not content just sitting down waiting for husband to bring them money...for good reason.
They are ambitious go-getters who make their bread and combine it with the man's to make bigger moves. Some of them are managers and successful entrepreneurs.
Are you saying these women do not deserve happiness because they are not dependent on some man's wallet?

Being ambitious is an old virtue and it's never been a crime. But it's benefits are measured by the sacrifices that was made to achieving such ambition.

Alas, for women most times it has to be little innocent children whose tender infant age are sacrificed to accommodate their ambition.

Irrespective of the politically correct cooperate media, career mothers and child rearing are oil and water that don't mix. One takes the back seat while the other gets the wheel. So your "manager and successful entrepreneurs" definition is as subjective as your pink-colourd binoculars.

2buffagain:
Times have changed sah. Economies have changed...so much so that one source of income is increasingly becoming not enough to run homes and put children through quality education to give them a better chance at the future.
Adaptation is, and has always been, the key to human survival...not "this is how we've always done it". Tell that to Kodak.

Also the fact that she stays home to raise children, doesn't mean she should be financially idle. There are several PROVEN online businesses she can channel her ambition into from the comfort of her home...as long as she has the ambition to follow things through.

The "power couple" route is generally the best way to go in this era.
Females can no longer afford to dull themselves....both for the good of the family they are building and for the good of themselves in case things go south in the future so they don't become a burden to extended family and children who may still be unstable in these rough economic climates!

This is not 1988 where as soon as you finish school you get multiple job offers with insane perks; jobs which instantly affords you a house. Is it business? Well markets are saturated and it takes pure grace to thrive in any endeavour today.
This is no longer the case anywhere on earth today and it will likely never be. My bible says things will only get worse as we advance in these last days.

So no, this your thinking sounds sweet, but it is for a by-gone era. Not this one.

What you failed to grasp is that women have always worked from the earliest civilization. They've never been idle. They've always done their bit keeping the home running with their financial contribution.

The only difference is that it never impacted on their ability to answer to their first calling -- motherhood!
Their work never dictated for them, they dictated for their work.

No one could give them a lousy 3month maternity leave or having to subject infants to daycare or employ nannies while they play the absentee moms.

Career always came second to the welfare and nurturing of the child.

Perhaps, your definition of adaptation is when mothers go to work 3 months after child birth while her child is being managed by a nanny and her breastmilk is being pumped away in the office restroom sink.

When mothers play the absentee mom and young children, even toddlers are raised like poultry birds in boarding schools. That's your definition of adaptation?

That's seems to me like an abuse of the grace to be a mother.

Elder0001:
Open your eyes ... this is 2018 not 1883

In other words you're trying to tell me that as the year progresses you seem to lose touch with the cardinal principles of lasting human values as they affect the society at large.

It's OK if you look longingly across the bridge to a life that appears glossy and attractive. If that's where your fantasy lies, then by all means set sail.

But it would be to you like a wave bolting down with great gust only to end up at the pebbled shore empty.

For many have threaded the path you seek but they found no satisfaction for their lustful and greedy souls.

Elder0001, I'm afraid your take on marriage as it affects the female gender is subjective to your personal perspective which unfortunately, is always tilted towards what's obtainable in other climes. But I won't blame you on that. It's a near nonexistence to find one whose outlook on most issues is completely unbiased.

With that in mind, let me address your views as expressed in your narrative;

Your opener "women are filing for divorce at a higher rate than men..." is based on research conducted in foreign climes and culture that is nonparallel to the locality which you hope to address. Here marriage is sought after like a precious treasure irrespective of the motive and expectations of the intended players. And yes, divorce is still viewed as a social stigma in this part of the world unlike in the climes from where you borrowed your narrative. You must understand the sociocultural differences in both climes and tailor your narrative accordingly.

Your point number 1 leaves me aghast. Most "progressive" thinkers like you fail to embrace the truth that the conservatives have a right to their choice just like you.

A woman who choose the honorable part of being a house wife, to tend the kids, look after the home and see to her Husband's needs is being ridiculed by your kind. She'd never feel insecure or have a lesser sense of self worth unless someone like you tell her she took a self-depreciating path.

Women who are fortunate enough to be house wives are the last line of defense against the sweeping assault besieging the family unit. They ought to be celebrated.

No amount of civilization can reverse the biological program that conditions women to look towards men for financial support. Even the few who are financially self reliant are by no means happier than those who depend on their man. Neither are women who out-earn their husband emotionally happy with the situation.

Let's just say man has always failed in his attempt at reversing nature.


@ point number 2;

Women were never designed from a perfect setup to be captain of their own ship. Not nature nor the CREATOR ever gave them that calling. Statistics backs me to pontificate that women find the greater joy when they help others (husband) achieve their dreams.

And no matter how evolved or smart we get, we just can't reverse nature. Career or not, a woman would still be required to do most of the house chores. She would even find her man less attractive if he does most of the chores.

The only good you can harvest from being a feminist apologist is verbal consent from your fellow emasculated men and a shrill chorus of approval from a bunch of no-good female recalcitrants. But when the mist is cleared reality paints a truer picture -- that feminism hasn't made women happier despite all the gains of gender equality.


@ number 3,;

Isn't much expected of man, to feed, clothe and protect his family? These he has been doing for centuries without complaining. So what's your point exactly?

There is gender expectations in marriage notwithstanding man's interpretation of civilization. The attempt by "progressives" as you to blur that line, to lump tasks and obligations aboard the marriage train without due regard to gender sensitivity -- with all the weakness and strength, pros and cons on both genders -- is the single biggest threat to the sustainability and preservation of the human race.

Early mention on an early Monday morning. Gimme a jiffy I'll be right back.