₦airaland Forum

While the story teller was narrating his problem to me ,it reminded me of how i lost my cousin during delivery because of similar issue. Imagine when your mum try to stop what seem to be your joy. Its something we really need to deal with in this our generation. Freedom to love anyone.

Hi LS,

Well done,you done a very good job with the way you handle issues. I enjoy reading the stories on your blog. Please upload my story on the blog too. I think I want to sample people’s opinion on this matter. I am only son of my mother. She raised me up as a single mother. I know she went through alot with raising me up and for that I will forever be greatful. But I am 34 years old now and I have been looking to settle down but my mother does not seem to like most of the girls I date.

She particularly have a great dislike for the yorubas simply because my father who abandoned her when she had me is Yoruba. She unconsciously put the fear of the yorubas into me while growing up. She would tell me how my father’s people treated her,how they made almost commit suicide etc. So somehow,I avoided dating Yorubas. The only yoruba girl I liked in university,I was so scared of my mom finding out. It didnt even last.

Two years ago,I went through a messy break up with a Delta lady I was dating for over two years and I was really hurt cos I loved her alot. Not too long after that,I met Yinka,my current girlfriend. I didnt plan to date her but we got to know each better and I found out how kind,beautiful and loving ...

read full and other related stories

https://livelystones.com.ng/helpi-love-my-mom-but-she-stands-in-the-way-of-my-happiness/

Hello LS,

I have a story to share. There is this woman that sells fresh fruits salad in my office building. I love to buy fruits from her every morning cos I am working on my diet.Last week,I noticed,she didnt come for a few days. I was so unhappy cos it affected my diet..lol.But then she showed up like three after and she was looking sad and unhappy. I asked her what the problem is and she said she has a big problem. Sensing she probably has money problems,I asked her to see me later during my break time.

During break,she came to my office.And I asked her what the problem was. She began to cry and says that she needs financial help. I knew it!…I asked her how much and what did she need the money for. She said she needed N15k. She said she cannot tell me what it is for. But she was begging me to loan her the money that she will pay me back in installments. I said,ok but you have to tell me what the money is for. She was crying for a while and said,her life is over. That she borrowed money so that her daughter who had deferred her admissions into higher institution can make it this year.

According to her,she needed like N180k for her daughter to start school. She had worked over the year and saved N70k. She went around looking for who to borrow her. Friends and family were able to borrow her another N30k. The balance N80 she was struggling to come up with as time for late registration was closing in,meaning her daughter would have to defer admission for another year again. She in her desperation,went to meet her landlord whom she suspected was eyeing her,begged him for a loan. The landlord agreed but if ...

https://livelystones.com.ng/desperation-made-me-do-it-can-god-forgive-us-for-the-abortion/

Good day Admin,

This is a call for advice. I need to make a serious decision about someone in my life and I need help in making very objective decisions because of the circumstances surrounding this relationship.

Daniella is my best friend's widow. We lost Steve to a hard battle against kidney failure but he passed on before his wife could give birth to their only son. It was a very tough period for his family,his young wife,Daniella who is just 26 years old and myself. I have been friends with Steve since 100 level engineering in Uniben. Before he passed,Steve asked me to help look after his wife,make sure she moves on and is happy.

Daniella was seven months pregnant at the time. It was a hard pregnancy. She eventually gave birth prematurely due to the stress of Steve's passing. I and Steve's family members rallied around her during the pregnancy/delivery,trying to make things easier for her.Steve's family wanted Daniella to move in with them so they can look after her. Daniella was not cool with that. She didnt have feel comfortable with them after being there for like a month. She became depressed and she said being around his parents who were still mourning made her always remember how she lost her husband and that led to her being depressed.

Because of what Steve told me,I convinced his parents to allow Daniella move in with me so she can have a change of environment. Daniella moved in with me and I also signed her up to see a therapist twice every week so she can come out of her depression. All went well and before long,Daniella began to feel better. On the other hand,my fiance (Jasmine) didnt like the idea of my best friend's widow living with me even though I live in a big duplex. Daniella had her own quarters,so even though we were in the same building,we we not in the same living quarters. I tried to explain to Jasmine that it was temporary and I was surprised that she would make an issue out of this for someone grieving the loss of her husband. Jasmine moved in with me cos she wanted to keep an eye on me.

That really infuriated me but to prove her wrong,I allowed it. But Jasmine was quite petty,instead of being the support that Daniella needed,she started being a source of stress for Daniella. Daniella felt bad and wanted to leave but I wouldnt have it. Jas accused me of choosing Ella over her and we had a fight. Jas left in anger. Daniella was crying and being very emotional wishing Steve was alive. What I couldnt bear was to see Ella cry like this. It broke my heart and I knew Steve wanted me to be there for her. So while she was crying,I held her and comforted her. She held on to me and cried for quite a while. It was comforting to know I could be her shoulder to cry on.

But what followed after,shocked ....................

Full story @ https://livelystones.com.ng/in-love-with-my-best-friends-widow-but-his-family-will-not-approve/

Yes ,if she can tolerate it ,fine
It's not after married to the guy,she will start complaining.
It's a matter of choice and decision .

Mandrake007:
Atleast you know for a fact he's a womanizer,you both can change that,most women will dish out relationship advice but their significant others prolly been cheating on them all their lives,no relationship is perfect,so you've gotta learn to tolerate each others flaws as it takes two to tango,everybody's got their downsides nobody is perfect,you know what you saw in him before you fell in love,this is what you signed up for but at the end love supersedes everything.

Yep!

Counselling and rehabilitation is all she needs.

QueenSuccubus:


Sexual spirit? And she paid 50k for deliverance? Isn't that supposed to be FREE? Whoever gave her this fvcked up deliverance shud be cane 50k times too...She was duped by her so called pastor

Haba! She's a nympho...is it curable? YES! DEFINITELY... only if she's willing to undergo counselling & rehabilitation..SMH..

Haaaa!!!
Actress kwa !!
Which movie ?

2buffagain:
Addiction is a psychological problem. Even if "deliverance" works, the actress in this nollywood movie has not fixed her mind yet, and it will still go back to that habit given enough boredom because she has not replaced it with anything.

It takes time to rewrite ones psyche.

Nah 12 inches I hear

Burgerlomo:
12 or 1/2 inch

The arrangement you and your husband have with this woman is very dangerous!

Not only have you willfully allowed yourselves to commit adultery,this could go so wrong in the sense that,a child from this arrangement, is going to be your husband’s and the other woman. Forget legal agreement,if the child finds out later in life that you are not the mother,he or she can go look for their mother? You want to go through pain again in future?

Beke2020:
Dear LS,

I may have made a horrible mistake and I do not know how I am going to correct this mistake. Please I need your help before its too late. I am at the risk of loosing my marriage of over 14 years.

My marriage has struggled with childlessness over the years. The early years,we tried to have faith in God,we did alot of IVF and eventually in the eight year,we decided to adopt a child.We were not getting any younger and we felt it was ok to adopt. We adopted a beautiful girl who is now six years old. During the time I was always visiting the IVF hospital,there was a nurse who was encouraging me to try surrogacy. Which means someone else will carry our baby for us. That time,I was scared and dismissed the idea.

A year ago,my husband brought up the idea of surrogacy after hearing that many people have really embraced the idea these days. So we talked about it and approached that nurse to assist us with the surrogacy ,at least we can have our own biological child. It was agreed that I would pretend to be pregnant when the surrogate gets pregnant,so when she give birth,it would look like I was the one who gave birth. All the legal paper work was done and with the help of Nurse A,we got a surrogate. It was successful and she became pregnant.

Unfortunately,this lady lost the pregnancy at the 4th month. We were devastated but we decided to try again. In a month,she got pregnant again after a successful insemination but she miscarried again in less than two months again. These things cost money and we had actually spent so much so we decided to forget about it for now. However,this surrogate woman came up with a proposal to have a baby for us and we would pay her 2 million. She suggested that in order to save money (IVF cost about N1,2M each attempt),we go the normal way of trying to conceive which is by having sex with my husband. That way,we save money and we can try as many times as we want.

Immediately,I was against it. That was wrong for me. It wouldn’t even be my own egg if she has to sleep with my husband. The thought of my husband having sex with another woman just made me cringe. But this woman said,she has done it for several couples. She said she is willing to sign a non disclosure with us. Its just business for her and no strings attached. The nurse confirmed that this lady has done this for some other couples and that these couple who couldn’t afford IVF used this option to have their own babies.

I still refused but my husband agreed. He argued that many people have done it and its like adoption but this time,this child would actually be ours biologically (at least one of us,biologically). I still refused cos I couldn’t I felt betrayed. Since that time,my husband started keeping malice with me and called me selfish for depriving him of having his own biological child. That he had been patient all these years. He loved me despite our childlessness and I still deny him. That he could have cheated on me but he was faithful. That this arrangement was purely business,like sleeping with a prostitute,no strings attached.

All the above put so much pressure on me and I eventually gave in. My husband assured me that he would not do anything to hurt me. He even asked me to be around during sex with the woman so that I could be sure nothing emotional happened. Crazy right? Well,the day finally came,I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. But just before t was going to go down,I backed out. I couldn’t go through with it,so I asked them to go on without me being there as planned. I went out and cried my eyes out. They have been having sex for the last four days cos the lady says its her ovulation and its best that they have sex as .....Read complete story


https://livelystones.com.ng/our-desperation-has-brought-another-woman-to-destroy-our-marriage/

Hello ,please what's the name ?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
There's this smoothie women that are trying to conceive are encouraged to take after their periods to increase their chances of taking in. Don't know how true it is though.

Nice one.

JONSYN7154:
I'm sorry. mean to hurt you. once from the bottom of my heart I'm sincerely SORRY

Dear LS,

I may have made a horrible mistake and I do not know how I am going to correct this mistake. Please I need your help before its too late. I am at the risk of loosing my marriage of over 14 years.

My marriage has struggled with childlessness over the years. The early years,we tried to have faith in God,we did alot of IVF and eventually in the eight year,we decided to adopt a child.We were not getting any younger and we felt it was ok to adopt. We adopted a beautiful girl who is now  six years old. During the time I was always visiting the IVF hospital,there was a nurse who was encouraging me to try surrogacy. Which means someone else will carry our baby for us. That time,I was scared and dismissed the idea.

A year ago,my husband brought up the idea of surrogacy after hearing that many people have really embraced the idea these days. So we talked about it and approached that nurse to assist us with the surrogacy ,at least we can have our own biological child. It was agreed that I would pretend to be pregnant when the surrogate gets pregnant,so when she give birth,it would look like I was the one who gave birth. All the legal paper work was done and with the help of Nurse A,we got a surrogate. It was successful and she became pregnant.

Unfortunately,this lady lost the pregnancy at the 4th month. We were devastated but we decided to try again. In a month,she got pregnant again after a successful insemination but she miscarried again in less than two months again. These things cost money and we had actually spent so much so we decided to forget about it for now. However,this surrogate woman came up with a proposal to have a baby for us and we would pay her 2 million. She suggested that in order to save money (IVF cost about N1,2M each attempt),we go the normal way of trying to conceive which is by having sex with my husband. That way,we save money and we can try as many times as we want.

Immediately,I was against it. That was wrong for me. It wouldn't even be my own egg if she has to sleep with my husband. The thought of my husband having sex with another woman just made me cringe. But this woman said,she has done it for several couples. She said she is willing to sign a non disclosure with us. Its just business for her and no strings attached. The nurse confirmed that this lady has done this for some other couples and that these couple who couldn't afford IVF used this option to have their own babies.

I still refused but my husband agreed. He argued that many people have done it and its like adoption but this time,this child would actually be ours biologically (at least one of us,biologically). I still refused cos I couldn't I felt betrayed. Since that time,my husband started keeping malice with me and called me selfish for depriving him of having his own biological child. That he had been patient all these years. He loved me despite our childlessness and I still deny him. That he could have cheated on me but he was faithful. That this arrangement was purely business,like sleeping with a prostitute,no strings attached.

All the above put so much pressure on me and I eventually gave in. My husband assured me that he would not do anything to hurt me. He even asked me to be around during sex with the woman so that I could be sure nothing emotional happened. Crazy right? Well,the day finally came,I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. But just before t was going to go down,I backed out. I couldn't go through with it,so I asked them to go on without me being there as planned. I went out and ....

https://livelystones.com.ng/our-desperation-has-brought-another-woman-to-destroy-our-marriage/

Sure, controlling emotion is never easy , though depends on one level of maturity.

Grayjoy:
controlling emotions is nt easy 4 some people irrespective of their social status or age, u never jam?

if she can tolerate it, fine. If she cant , fine.

XhosaNostra:
Sometimes you got to be selfish & cruel, not only to the other person but to yourself as well (deny yourself certain people & things). What is love? It's only a feeling. Lock that shìt up & look at this practically. Is he worth all the stress you'll endure as his wife? I don't care how hot & whatever a guy is, if the core principles don't match my own, I'd rather let him go. I can't be waiting for him to "outgrow" certain things. Time waits for no man. To hell with him. Next! Learn to look beyond how you feel. Feelings sometimes can be blinding. If you master the art of switching off your feelings when necessary, you won't have trouble kicking a dog back to the street bìtches where he belongs.

DO NOT marry him or DO, it's up to YOU.

looool

Countersam:
You say you people are from Cross River? your problem is right from the village. See wetin sex dey cause?

Dear Jzhane,

My boyfriend is a chronic womanizer. He has two baby mamas who have four children for him. Dayo is fun,respectful and treats me quite nicely. When I met him two years ago,he already had one baby mama. During our relationship,we broke twice up cos he impregnated another lady. That one had twins for him. But he came back again and we made up.

Dayo is a very romantic guy,ladies love him alot. I cant swear to say that when I am not there,he is with another lady. But I find out that I am so in love with him.So when he asked me to marry him,I said no cos I cant be with a womanizer. He responded that he may be with a thousand women but ..

That's stupidity

Radiants:
she really messed up.... just wondering what revenge she is revenging...

Good Day Admin,

I dont know why women are so gullible. Why some women will never listen to their husband is the reason that they will meet their downfall. My wife of seven years has just betrayed me and I dont know if I can ever forgive her.

Last October,a new neighbor moved into our yard. It now happened that the neighbor's wife is from the same area with my wife from Cross River. So they became friends. Before you know it,my wife was always going to their house. I am a business man,I am hardly at home,I leave around 5.30am to beat the Apapa traffic everyday so I dont know how long my wife stays with them cos she just has a petty shop in front where she is selling recharge card and other things. 

But I started becoming uncomfortable with this when my wife started telling me so many private things about this couple. She used to tell me that the woman always gist her how the man handles her sexually. That she wishes I used to handle her like that. I told her she should not believe everything the woman is telling her. But every day,my wife will just be telling me stories about our neighbor and their sex life. She started complaining that I am not willing to cooperate with her to try some of the sex tips she is getting from this our neighbor. At a point,I started to warn her not to go there anymore. I told her to focus on her business and taking care of the children.

After a while,I stopped hearing her tell me about our neighbor,I thought she has finally gotten her senses,so I was happy. Only for me to come back one evening and discover my wife and that our neighbor's wife fighting. A crowd had gathered and looking at them. In fact,the fighting was so bloody that my wife already has a swollen face. I quickly intervened and separated them. It turns out that the woman was accusing my wife of trying to seduce her husband. That she caught my wife and her husband in .....

https://livelystones.com.ng/my-neighbor-and-his-wife-seduced-my-wifenow-i-am-ashamed/

Seriously weree !!

quote author=midolian post=65793654]O ti ya weyrey[/quote]

True word.

When a guy disflower so many ladies ,he start searching for virgin for marriage. That's stupidity in the highest order.

Moreever ,being a virgin doesn't say how good a lady is.

CAPSLOCKED:

YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH STUPID AND WIN.

AS IT IS, I'M CONFUSED HOW YOU THINK YOU CAN CONVINCE THE PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD.

IT'S THE WAY MEN REASON, PARTICULARLY AFRICAN MEN.
9 FROM EVERY 10 MEN WILL SPEND 80% OF THEIR LIFETIME SWITCHING GIRLS, THEN SPEND THE REMAINING 20% LOOKING FOR VIRGIN GIRLS THAT AREN'T THERE BECAUSE, THEY THEMSELVES SUCCESSFULLY DEFLOWERED EVERY GIRL THAT CROSSED THEIR PATH.

GIVE UP ALREADY.

My name is Dina. I work with a Multinational in Lagos. When we had an interview for a Senior Manager a year ago, I was. stunned when a young man walked into the interview. As COO,I was part of the interview panel and all I could do was mope at how handsome this candidate called Goke was. When it was time to make the decision,I practically shut down all other options,Goke was my pick and that was it.

Ever since Goke resumed with us,I have been goggling around him. Like he is so handsome it hurts. I quickly got to know him,be friendly with him. I was COO,single but I found out that Goke was five years younger than me with a wife and kid. But I couldn't help how I was always feeling around him. I am a goal-getter,I invited him for lunch two weeks later and told him I liked him. I told him I wanted us to be friends with benefits no strings attached. I was just too attracted and it was making me loose control anytime he was around.

Goke was flattered,asked me to give him time to think about it. He came back to me next day saying it was OK as long as I took care of him in return. That meant,I would gift him financially. I was game!...Goke is literally a Greek god in looks and in bed. I feel so jealous of his wife to the extent that ....

https://livelystones.com.ng/helplessly-in-love-with-a-married-man-who-is-my-subordinate/

Which very bad. That's why most nen don't want to allow it.

Left for me there is nothing bad in wife earning more than the husband but how she handles her ego that matters.

Rokia2:
I am a woman but seriously women can be so controlling especially when they earns more.
This is the high of disrespect. Imagine in your own house? My brother you should drop down on your knees immediately and thank God such a marriage didn't work.

Imagine living with such a woman in your old age.

You will die of high blood pressure.

What if ,it's a divorce father ?

It won't be all fathers nah coz some men too ,no d try as well.

There are cases where men beats their wives , alcoholic which also have a negative impart on the kids.

I read an article some months back ,that 90% of kids from divirced family will definitely get divorced.

JONNYSPUTE:
. If you want to enjoy ur marriage,go closer to ur father,you will learn more

Yes. It takes only the strong to survive the heat.

With high rate of infidelity on the rise.

It's now almost becoming a normal thing for people to cheat in their Union which is very bad.

Like you said ,most marry with out purpose , they just married for the sake of it.

God help us.

JONNYSPUTE:
. You so right. Lots of issues in marriage and that's why divorce is on the increase. The thing is that many people go into marriage without understanding the does and don'ts that are involved,coupled with this ideology of feminism that a lot of our ladies are clamouring for without understanding what it means. I will also make it clear that our father's,yes you heard me right,our father's failed in their duty,especially to the girl child. They left everything to their wife's to handle thereby not being able to teach or let their daughters and their sons know what and what to be expected in marriage. The women they left everything in charge, were too emotional and sentimental in their teachings which made people to believe that marriage is a bed of roses. So people go into marriage having that notion and when the reality of what they are into sets in,only the strong can survive it.

One we can tolerate his/,her character.

That's why marriage ehhhh, nah mature mind enter marriage

If couple had the advantage to reverse it , 98 % will reverse their marriage .

Seriously ,lots are having issues .

But what could have caused these things ?

JONNYSPUTE:
. We are all trying to accommodate each other does not mean we love ourselves. Genuine love is hard to find this days.. Just get somebody you are comfortable with and move on.

Loooool.

God will help us in marriage ohhh.

Too many issues.

There are some ladies you will get ,high libido and the man will be complaining that the wife is not satisfied with their sex life. Then ,another ,the lady believes sex outside of procreation is sin.

Nah to become Rev Father nah. Looool

lefulefu:
wetin u want make i talk b4

It's true shaaaa.

There is sense in what you said.

It does not show genuine love

JONNYSPUTE:
. My dear,what most of us call or see as love is not anything near love. How can a woman claim to love a man and immediately things get rough for him,fiam! She starts sleeping around with other men,is that how to show love? Forget, people should use their brains this time around.

But this doesn't encourage pre marital sex.

chidichuddo:
if they say no Hmmm b4 marriage, my brother RUN


if they tell you dat they addicted to it but want to b celibate before marriage, my brother RUN


if they promise u an amazing s*x life after marriage, my brother RUN


all these kinda ladies will frustrate you to the extent dat u ve to beg for for access

Sin abi ?

As in say every thing to the church girl nah sin.

Loooool.

lefulefu:
that na sin

Sooo sad my dear.

You have to live with it for the rest of your life.

z11111:
Dear Admin,

Most people would have easily ask me to divorce my wife of eight years after reading my story but my parents raised us up against the idea that divorce is the way out. My parents have been married for almost 40 years and they have become like a reference point for us,their children and many other married couples in our community.

Before I got married,I was involved with a girl (Joyce) from my town,in Oyo. We dated for two years and the sex was amazing with her. But we didnt end up getting married because,one my parents would not have approved. This lady was a little the free type,not exactly wife material. Secondly,she cheated on me and I was hurt. My parents always encouraged us to go for a God fearing lady for marriage and so,I met Damilola from our church choir and we dated for eight months without intimacy before getting married.

Damilola my wife is the typical church raised girl. She was raised in very strict home. I was her first and she never knew anything about ...



http://livelystones.com.ng/how-i-am-stuck-in-my-sexless-marriage-with-no-chance-of-escape/

But it is difficult to live with someone whom you don't truly love or care.

Two can't work together except they agree.

It's never a man's fault to love his wife neither a lady's fault to love her husband .


.

JONNYSPUTE:
The more reason men should be careful.Nothing like love on the path of we human beings. If you want to live long as a married man,always ve it in mind that your wife can betray you anytime,don't give ur heart to women. Live life as if everyday is ur last. Live for ur kids not for ur wife. Don't ever believe that some are good while some are bad. They are all the same just that they give problems in different ways. Men,men,men,you will be the greatest fool to die because of a woman.

It's a movie script because it has not happened to you ?

Where do script writers get inspiration to write , is it not from happening around ?

Sometimes ,I just look at some comment and laugh. Pray not to fall into such circumstance or something related to it ,that's how another person will call yours tales by moon light.

JONNYSPUTE:
Nice movie script

Dear Admin,

Most people would have easily ask me to divorce my wife of eight years after reading my story but my parents raised us up against the idea that divorce is the way out. My parents have been married for almost 40 years and they have become like a reference point for us,their children and many other married couples in our community.

Before I got married,I was involved with a girl (Joyce) from my town,in Oyo. We dated for two years and the sex was amazing with her. But we didnt end up getting married because,one my parents would not have approved. This lady was a little the free type,not exactly wife material. Secondly,she cheated on me and I was hurt. My parents always encouraged us to go for a God fearing lady for marriage and so,I met Damilola from our church choir and we dated for eight months without intimacy before getting married.

Damilola my wife is the typical church raised girl. She was raised in very strict home. I was her first and she never knew anything about ...

http://livelystones.com.ng/how-i-am-stuck-in-my-sexless-marriage-with-no-chance-of-escape/