₦airaland Forum

BRATISLAVA:
@bolded: the skewed fallacy that has misled a lot of unprepared men into marriage.

A man isn't ready for marriage when or because he has money and wants to keep a woman. He is only ready for marriage when he has worked on his mind, changed his demanding and impossible ways of thinking, is ready to respect and be respected, and has decided not to be overbearing, to understand what leadership is about without misunderstanding control and true leadership, and is ready to sacrifice unconditionally for the well-being of his family and take on the role of a servant leader. Any man who looks for a way out of such things and is looking for marriage is a failure at it already.

That fallacy about success and money is why so many empty men who cannot sustain a relationship and have no endearing qualities fall back on having a lot of money end up destroying marriage, because money is a cover for so many lacking things and a marriage that will fail woefully.

Money will not guarantee the success of any family or relationship. Neither will looking for a woman to control while he is uncontrollable and evil himself.

you are talking out of context bro.

No one says money is the all for marriage but in this particular we are referring to money

Onyiiobi7735:
The spirit of lust and seduction is very powerful indeed.It's most likely the strongest demon,symbolized by the snake and dog.
Many pastors are a thousand times worse and more filthy than an ordinary worldly person,and they often love to advertise their "holiness"

spirit abi nature.

Man must like a woman's body. If he doesn't then he's not normal. It's not spirit, it's the way nature designed it

It's not only annoying but disgusting. The only logical conclusion I can draw from this is that such guys are women operating male monikers

budaatum:
If you don't already know then I'm delighted that you don't and wouldn't educate you so you know since it's a good thing that you don't know.

educated me? The efrontry though

kkins25:
You mean the same ways all women shoot their shots?Giving subliminal green light and waiting for the guy to make the first move. hahahahahahahah..

you get time dey read her post?.

Baitullah:
Until a strong man wins her (the prize) and turns the table where he becomes the prize

stop saying trash.

If women are the prize why seek equality with men?

Magnoliaa:
You dey crazeeee. Walaiii. You're MAD, o de ri eyan so fun e. See someone I was even being civil to and staying on the topic for, you're now coming here to be condescending and saying it expected of a woman.

Ori e ti gbale. Idiot.

Why you not fit address my point with all of your logic without the need for the condescension??

E pass you abi? You no know how to address what I'm saying anymore, and you had to resort to ''it's expected of a woman.''

Na so. Na our point you dey prove so. If we say men are intimidated now, you go begin bleat, creating threads such as this to be saying nonsense.

You asked for this. Turn it around again and keep claiming it's because I'm a woman when you literally fired the first bullet.

Ode.

Insecure t.w.a.t.

If you were man enough, why you no fit keep all snide remarks aside without the subtle hint of your timidity showing? Ekwensu.

just one sentence

What if I write a paragraph on why women can't reason logically? You'd probably look for me and shoot me

budaatum:
I wish that were true but I'm delighted it definitely is true now.

Perhaps men will go as far as allowing themselves to be taught about the origin of life too instead of them ignorantly believing the woman is their rib.

in what ways has men had it good before now?

Magnoliaa:
Toorr. Now you dey give general advice? Why con conclude for first before before that SUCCESSFUL women no dey go for watin dey want?

I have just given you a few of the dynamics that play out... yes, I agree the pool is filled with submissive women and what not, I agree the pool is filled with the kind of ladies men man. So, look, our argument don for into each other.

If MORE men are attracted to submissive, dependent, generally unsuccessful women, then it logically follows when the 'unwanted' successful women claim men aren't attracted to then for various reasons.

Stop mixing your premise(s).

Men have a larger pool to pick from. Check.
Successful women are not usually in that pool. Check.
Since most men want from a pool that a successful woman do not fit into, then a successful woman's pool is limited. Check.
Now, your kindly, generous, brotherly, friendly advice that a successful woman should find men from her limited pool, outside of the general men pool. Cheeeck.

Mo towo towo gba.

So such woman 'complaining' or simply sharing her experiences in the dating world DOES NOT say that she doesn't approach men.

And I'm not even saying there aren't successful women who ''sit down'' (blehhh, hard to believe), but sha, na why I ask say make we compare the number of successful women who approach men and the number of successful women who do not approach men.

Now, my bias and subjective opinion is more successful women, with all the accompanying attributes they possess, shoot their shots at guys. In different ways.

oya na

Magnoliaa:
Thank youuuuuuuu.

Ehennn. I go agree with you here!

I go agree with you for the sake of this argument. I am currently wearing my strap-on and speaking on behalf of redpillers...

Redpillers will always claim women are hypergamous. So abeg, OP, or anywan wey dey available fit help me reconcile that fact to the point of the OP that 'successful' women or women do not go for what they want??

How you fit claim, as a redpiller, say women are hypergamous and control the dating scene by their acceptance or refusal, yet believe women are rocks that do absolutely nothing to pursue a man of their desires?

actually he's point blends perfectly with my write up and contradicts the earlier mention you gave me.

Anyways, it's expected from a WOMAN

budaatum:
You could, if you want to. Fact is, men are not having it all their way anymore. If you slack off you're out poor sod, and another will easily take your place.

Men have never had it their way before.

Magnoliaa:
You don begin to contradict yourself, by yourself. Shey you want to use social statistics and exception ba?

So can you give me a number of successful and how many of those successful women wait for a man to come pursue them, as opposed to those who sit and do nothing?

Even your general point gan na huge luggage and I'm not even going to attempt addressing it. Other thing is your use of sweeping terms without attempting to specify. Hallmarks of a successful woman. The qualities of a successful woman. What will you see in a woman for you to think she's successful?

Sha let's go along with the general notion of success. There are chances that a woman who has achieved a reasonable level of achievement and progress in her career or education is assertive more often than not. She might not DIRECTLY say to a man, 'I want to marry you', but ko si niii, she'll go for what she wants. The how is plenty. She could drop her card; invite him for a date; strike a conversation or common point of rapport with him. For successful women too, a sizable number of them would have gone through a mental growth and reevaluation, a shedding of of old beliefs, gender-specific and -limiting beliefs, more liberally minded. All these put together make a woman more out there, more go-getting, and knowing what she wants.

So, I'm saying it is not entirely true on your part to claim successful women do not go for what they want.

You don't have to be aggressively harassing before we go know say you like this babe or bobo.

So if that is the picture you have of 'going for what' - the above, sorry, foulllll. Fail. Wrong. That is what men usually do, and in their minds, them think say dem dey chyke. Add to that fact that the majority of women are groomed for marriages and waiting to be picked, then you have more ''successes'' of men getting women - without the best or hardest effort.

You know, I want to go to Harvard and the former VC of Harvard comes to me that: 'Mag, as someone with influence, I wan help you slip inside Harvard.' Of course, I go rush grab am, cling onto the opportunity, when the man put in very LITTTTLE effort and simply told me a line. I don't need convincing because it was what I wanted.

That is the same thing with men going after ladies, hunting them, asking for their hands in marriage.

So now, imagine if my mind was actually on Oxford (as a man), and Harvard (a successful woman) approaches me, throws green light, cajoled... of course, I wouldn't be inclined to accepting Harvard's advances.

Men do not expect women to ask them out, most of them anyway, so, of course when a successful, 'big' lady come for them, it rarely result in success. Men believe they are supposed to be the heads, are assertive - whether this is social or natural - psssh, how do you expect them to accept and be comfortable with such WHEN, WHEN, WHEN that kind of woman comes for them?

So you erroneously think the subset of successful women don't go for men, and then you neglect the perception of men about relationship dynamics...

Let me sum this up for you: if you are successful as a lady or see yourself as such, then you must actively pick the man you want, chase after him and not complain that men are not coming after you because they are scared of your success.

You must go after the men.

Same way as a man who sees himself as successful goes after the ladies and not wait around complaining that ladies do not come to him because they are afraid of success.


This is because he understands that choosers are dominant while beggars are submissive.

As such, the moment he chooses you, and you accept, regardless of your resources, he expects you to be submissive to him.

Turn this table around and you'll see most men reject relationships proposed by women because they understand this simple logic.

odinson1:
Bold of you to assume a woman would be able to catch up with your logic. Whenever it comes to arguments,it is always about what they "feel" at the present moment in time,and not what is really going on in reality.

You'd wonder if these people really have brains.

it's killing me bro.

Like some of them will argue some things here and trying to wrap my head around how someone can come up with such trash gives me headache

Candidlady:
°°°°°trying to caution myself°°°°°



Lemme just sit back with my mari and camp and enjoy the comments





Men are not attracted to intelligent women unless they are good looking, a study has found.

New research has confirmed the commonly held notion that the smarter a woman is, the less likely it is a man will fancy her.

Men are actively turned-off by cleverness, and the only exception to this is if the woman is highly attractive, a study by the Warsaw School of Economics found.

your point exactly?

All these shows preference.

Just as you are more likely to be attracted to a guy that is

1. handsome

2. Handsome and clever

3. Handsome, clever and rich

It's all preference. If you are allowed to have these preferences, then why deny a man of the same?

budaatum:
Culture, unfortunately, makes most women not go after the man they want, though successful women do not wait for success to fall into their lap. If they did, they'd be lucky.

always with an excuse up the sleeve.

Maybe we should also blame culture and not men for them trying to avoid women which they perceive as richer than themselves?

Baitullah:
I beg to differ, but most women are naturally hypergamous. If she's wealthy, she'll be out to find that man that is weakthier (with exception of few).

Where she possesses those qualities than the man, such relationship may cease to exist. See the case of Tacha

Then it's no longer the man's fault if such a higher status man demands her to be submissive.

She could have chosen a lower status man who will be submissive to her.

And no tacha is not wealthy. Which business she De do?

Datboredberri:
You made no sense... None whatsoever... I'm almost disappointed...

This made sense... You know it, I know it, we all do...




How are successful women beggars?



What terms? Kindly mention them?

you are missing the point.

Successful men are choosers. Successful women are choosers.

But while the successful men will rather go and choose the kind of woman that they want, successful women will rather wait for the beggar men to choose her.

Both men and women can be beggars or choosers depending on their resources. If a woman sees herself as successful, then she must become a chooser and act like a chooser.

budaatum:
Stop with the lopsided arguments!

aren't you agreeing with my point already "a successful woman who knows what she wants and is not waiting for anyone to give it to her"

That's what successful men do. They know the kind of woman they want and they go after her.

Why then do successful women not chase after the kind of men they want but would rather that such men fall into their laps?

There's this skewed and lopsided narrative that men are scared of successful women by feminists mostly because they feel that:

1. Successful women takes away a man's previledge

2. Men have lower esteem and so are easily intimidated by ambitious women

3. Men will no longer be able to maltreat such women.

First of all, men are never scared of successful women (though some may be as there's always an EXCEPTION IN EVERY SOCIAL STATISTICS).

But most men are not. Rather it's a failure to understand simple basic principles of the dating process that made most women cling to this idea of men being intimated by successful women.

When a man is fit for marriage i.e the man has made all the money he wants (successful) and feels it is the right time for him to settle down, he goes on a hunt, he looks for the kind of woman he wants, one that fits his description of a good wife and marries her.

It doesn't matter if she is poor or rich, if she is submissive or not. He made his choice, chases that woman up and down until she agrees to his terms of marriage which sometimes can mean the woman becoming a house wife.

Now when a woman is successful and WITH US ALL BEING EQUAL, she never does what a man will do, instead she still want a man to chase her, marry her and then HE SHOULD AGREE TO HER TERMS.

This takes away all the power from the man and still expect him to carry out his responsibility.

A man by nature is a provider and as such will always try to gather his resources before looking for a woman that will agree to his terms of building a home.

If a woman will rather be the provider or the man in the relationship, then she must be prepared to wear that trouser all the way. She has the resources, it's up to her to go out there, pick a man, toast him and pay his groom price and then, the man is for the woman and not the woman for the man.

Most women today are not ambitious and do not seek to be ambitious and that makes the dating pool of submissive women large for men with resources to choose from.

This in turn diminishes the available men for women who are ambitious. For one, a man will rather be the man in his relationship than take the role of a woman.

It's not low self esteem, it's being what he is, a man. If a woman would rather take that role from him, then it's up to her to convince the man to stay in the relationship just as men convince women to remain in relationships.

So to sum it up, when a man is successful he goes with confidence to toast the kind of woman he wants. It's not low self esteem if he finds a submissive woman more tasty.

But a successful woman with all her resources still want a man with nothing to choose her, forgetting that in the dating pool and practically everywhere else, beggars are never choosers.

So, stop with the lopsided arguments.

See them supporting their staffs? But over here, students feel ASUU is their enemy.

His actions are wrong.

He's a backstabber to the union. If ASUU demands are met, he will share the pie with them even though he has already betrayed them..

candidladyTemp:
Do iknow you

Please stay outta my mention please

stop all these nonsense.

You comment on a public forum, it doesn't matter if you know or don't know the person.


And try to grow up abeg

kurupt1:
Say your intimidated by successful women not most men.. ... Mugu

alright

Datboredberri:
Women who depend on their man?

Not low self-esteem... Rather laziness, entitlement...

Survival instinct? Jesus!

Her being more successful...It makes you feel small as a man? That's low self-esteem...

Because you have to forfeit certain privileges, right?

You can't boss her around, the relationship could end and her future wouldn't be compromised... You wouldn't mean the world to her... Etc...

your perspective is rather narrow.

Being a full time housewife is laziness and entitlement mentality?

One thing the most of you modern women or should I say feminist don't seem to understand is that life is best when we specialize.

A woman could be a specialized home maker and will prefer to remain in that niche while she looks for a man who can take care of her financial needs.

This woman is not less hard working as a career woman who will rather not be left at home but work in an office.

They are both hard at work but in different niches.

This is also true for men.

Some men would rather be taken care of and are comfortable taking care of the home.

But Most men prefer to be providers. As such they tend to look for other women that are speciized in taking care of the home.

Seeing it as a way to control a woman is not only a lopsided narrative but utterly dangerous.

This is because you see having resources as a form of control. But to a man, having resources is part of his playing the role of being a man.

If not man could leave his family (unlike mothers, men's love are not stimulated biochemically). But he stays to provide, that's a niche for him.

If a woman must be in control of the resources, then it's up to her to look for a man that is willing to settle with her.

Here's the cross, she must look for him. Not him looking for her.

When a man has resources, he seeks the woman that will agree to his terms. If you must as a woman want to be in control, then you must wear the trouser of a man. You must go out there toast the man, propose to him and fund the marriage, then he's married to you and not you to him.

Look at the lesbian (not that I approve of them though) but then even a romantic relationship between two women, there's always a dominant figure, one who acts as the man/provider or protector.

While the other generally prefer a more gentle and quiet life. When the dominant lesbian goes out to toast, she doesn't toast other tomboys like her, rather she focuses on the homely girls.

That's the structure of human romantic relationship: dominant and submissive. With the dominant ones always going to hunt for the submissive ones.

So a woman with resources who feels she must be in control must hunt. She mustn't feel men who are not toasting her are low self-esteemed. She must be aggressive.

Unfortunately, money doesn't change a woman's biology or perception, two of her biggest problems.

Village people be like

Datboredberri:
How?

you can literally count the number of Oprah Winfreys in the world, what makes you think you'll be among the top 50,000 in over a billion?

Datboredberri:
In simpler terms; money makes men the dominant figure in their relationships...

You're right... A lot of low self-esteem men put there...

Imagine being intimidated by your partner's success...

you can call it low self esteem but to me it's a survival instinct.

A man wants his partner to succeed but he still wants to be the MAN.

One of the dominant trait of being a man is to be a PROVIDER.

Of course, there are some men who are okay staying in the kitchen and being taken care of.

But not all men want that. The invert is the same for women.

Most women don't care if they don't work for anything but get taken care of by a man. But some want to achieve something.

Is that low self esteem too?

Datboredberri:
Honestly, men are of little value...

statistically, you probably will not be rich to the point where you can survive without a man.

So be humble and sit down

Contrary to your opinion, successful women are not single because they are choosy.

Yeah, some may be choosy but the main issue is about the dominant figure in a relationship.

Men by nature want to be decision makers, we want to be the one who leads in the relationship.

But resources is what gives this power, unfortunately she has it more than you, which in your mind, you could already see that you will always be behind the scene and the second in command.

Most men are intimated by such women. Intimated in the sense that they will become 'house husbands' instead of the warrior who leads the pack (his family) as other men.

Certificate forgery which should be treated as one of the highest criminal is being taken so lightly in this country.

People forge certificates, present it go public institutions and when we find out, we treat it as laughing matter.

How do you commit a crime against over 250 million people and nothing is done to you?

Name calling is one of the strengths of religion:

We are moslems, they are infidels.

We are Christians, they are sinners.

Turn the table around and the religious folks will say you are persecuting them.

You are a human just like everyone else, reading and believing in an old book doesn't make you extra special.